masturbation for the religious

far from sin

rabbinoam כללי 25 בדצמבר 2019 דקה אחת

teenagers MUST be informed

the number of chromosomes in male seed is only half of the number "needed" to build a human baby

obviously when the lady egg goes out, the lady need not "scold" herself for the sin of murdering a baby because alone that egg is not yet a human it is same as plant-life that vegans eat... and the same number in male seed is not truly "seed"  because alone it will never become a human without the chromosomes in the lady

we dont expect the ancient simple minds to know about chromosomes so when they said "sin to squeeze out male seed" they were wrong because today we know about chromosomes and the difference that seeds of fruit can be planted only because already grew in fruit.  in

in contrast the male baby oil is not seed and cannot be a baby human hence very far from a sin to spill it far from "murder=as some teens are misled" far from any sin because it is the same as killing…a  plant with less chromosomes than a human

dear diary, dilation day

dilating
dear diary age 16
intro:
recently i heard a woman mention that her ovulation is painful. apparently the egg pushes open a tube and she can feel it.
that reminded me of when i felt my tube dilation which people told me is "impossible. people cant feel their inside." truth is that a new pressure can be felt.... monthly.
so here is my diary entry from age 16
on a cold winter morning like any other i awoke earlier than the skool skedule. my alarm beapd at 7:15 and my rom mates moaned. i quickly switched it off. and rushed to drain the waste water that kidneys had filterd. i jogged along the hallway with faith that sin to delay draining waste. as written in jewish talmud.
i arrived first before anyone and the waste poured out into the drain in the wall. aah. that felt a relief. not exaactly pleasure but relief.
i washed my hands for cleanliness and for ceremony. i jogged back to bed. and hid under the blanket. then the music blared to wake all the students for the skool skedule that started every day with reading many pages of prayers. one room mate said "get outa bed lazy" and i said "your lazy i was up before you". he repeated his argument so i ignored him. the two badgered me together that i must dress... why? were they jealous that i had drained before them? that give me an idea "you must drain your urine without delay". they knew i was right and ran along the corridor to stand in line... ninety 90 brats and only 3 drains... better to drain into the snow.
finally the music stopped and as usual my visitor came. his cold hand brushed my cheek. as usual i raised the blanket and he climbed up into the bed and we warmed each other on the cold morning. his hand found my hodo and slid inside the convenient slit for eaasy drainage. he wrapped his hand around the hodo male finger and pressed. as usual i whisperd that feels nice.  as the pressure of inflating grew the pressure grew and that felt nice. my hand went to his robe. as usual his male finger was a soft long tube. this time his other hand brushed away my hand, he whispered "way too cold". but his cold hands added to my pleasure. i told him he could warm his second hand on the male bag. he turnd on his side and as his hand touched it i jumpd... he said sorry, you said. i said try again. the colness felt good. we lay like that for a while until his hands were warm. then his watch beepd and we went to pretend we were reading prayers.
then a short class. the rabbi read and explained a few phrases from book jeremia. then we went to the brekfast hall.
as usual dry flakes. i coulda ate HOT but i was scared of that unidentifiable mush called porridge. what was inside? how much butter sugar and who knows what else?
i rememberd that coffee tasted bitter. no hot coffee. the last time i tried to drink hot water to warm up it had a non-water taste. gross. so dry flakes again.
then back thru the snow to study. this semester too, the other students refused to be my study partner. so i listend to a recording of the rabbis lesson. in a classroom.
s usual sitting alone in the classroom my male finger inflated same as every day without any thoughts of ess ee eks nor lady. but today something felt different. i felt like TWO sides of a tube deep in the inner center core of my lower thorax were pushed apart like di-lating. the pressure of the inflating male finger was more intense than usual. the pressure pushing out... i knew the blood was pushing the skin to stretch ike inflating a balloon... was much more than usual. i had to press back... my hand rushed to press the skin back... as my mind reminded me "dont even touch, sin to squeeze out male milk, sin to even touch"  but i had no control. my hand grabbed the bulge and squeezed. the pressure subsuded and conciojusness returned. my hand jumped away. i switched off teh recorder and walked around the skool campus in the snow. another  brat saw me and said "lets skip class".
great. we went to the building dormitory and he showed me a room that had no sheets on the beds. he askd me if i ever heard the phrase "go fuk yourself". i said no but that it seemd to me imppossible. he burst out laffing. he started telling me the story that his parents hit him all the time over stupid mistakes. i told him "you did not hit anyne hence you dont deserv to get hit" he waved his hand, signaling me not to interrupt and talked about his violent parents.
as i heard his story the tubes inside around six centimeters below the skin di-lated and separated.
the blood rushed again to my male finger and i stopped hearing his words. i lost control of my hands and they rushed to squeeze back the ressure of the inflating male finger. as the pressure balance i realized that he saw me squeezing my pants and jumped my hand aside. he continued to talk about his parents not commenting that he saw me squeeze the privat male finger. but soon the pressure became so great i could not keep my hands away a started gasping i struggled for control... i cant do this in front of him while he is watching.
finally i could struggle no more and my hands squeezed my male finger again despite knowing he saw. i was gasping for air in the internal struggle.
the boy same age as me. walked to the bed where i sat with my back leaning on the wall.
he said "this looks like your frst time". i could not speak as i struggled for control of my hands but had no control. "he smiled and said "dont fight it. the sperm will come on no matter what". now i did not know yet that the number of chromosomes in male sperm is far from the amount in a healthy human and that the male seed alone is not a seedd to grow the baby. but he was correct that the male seed does drip out of healthy males at night so no point in struggling. i stopped struggling and simply squeezd.
"jeez you do it wrong". i was just obeying instinct but he had more yearrs of experience. he said he would bring a towel and left the room. i knew that until now even when i rubbed no male milk exited so no need for a towel. i was too dry inside. or... was that the milk pushing through the newly dilated tubes? probably. i continued the counter pressure until he brought the towel. he spread it over my pants and said "heres what you do" i obeyed so the towel coverd my privates and the towel was wrapped over and under the male finger between the finger and the pants then i gripped the towel and rubbed along the inflated male finger. the towel felt like sand paper. i could only squeeze. this prompted the boy not named jimmy to protest "just rub".
i did not know what to say. "you cant try to be super holy like that because every day your body bulds more sperm." he said exasperated. he reached his hand into the fold of the towel and gripped the hodo. that was less pleasure than the kid i felt comfy with, for several years in the morning.
jimmy jumped his hand away and said "you have something very wrong with your been-iss. your skin is stretched too tight all around. i better get some hand lotion."
now i felt the male milk rising up the tube of the male finger itself i barely gasped out "already finished" as i pulled on the finger and for the first time in my life thick white porridge very hot poured into the towel like a stream of porridge. yes that was the secret ingredient in the bekfast porridge... i imagined. at first the stream was just a long hot stream like urine but after a short time pulses of milk came out into the towel. the towel did not hold enough and the white stained my black pants.
that was gross. and wait... the orgasm is sposed to be the most intense pleasure. but at no moment did i feel any pleasure. just a hot stream of porridge.
at least i knew to use hand cream to make the skin stretchy. i didd not know that only circumcised males need cream and lubricant for intercourse coitus. i was not even aware of the consquences and harms of circumcision losing skin. how could someone "agree" before knowing the options and consequences.
the relijis interpretation not to cut or to cut.
that evening i met my partner for the usual early shower. i warned him that i started moving sperm. "cool" he responded in excited tone. "its about time and i wanna watch". but something was wrong again. as he spread soap along the male finger same as usual the feeling was not pleasure but like sliding along a senseless rock. he made a ring with his finger and tugged at the end of the male finger. but the usual pleasure was gone too. i suggested "instead of a ring just press the sides. i pressed the sides of his soft tube that hang down "see like this". so he obeyed and slid along the sides like stripes. after a short time the male finger went soft like his. the teen not named aron cussed "i wanted to see". he left the shower and the next morning did not visit me as usual. for a week he was mad so angry that he did not visit. i didnot know the time of inspection so after waiting for him to vist in the morning i went to pray and saw he was already in the prayer place. i was sad that i made him angry but i had no control.
but HEAVEN provided the alternative.
that saturday around 4 days after the first milking my male finger stopped its "strike" of softness. the temptation was so strong that i could not even read the study book.
so i left the building and left the college campus. i wondered around the snowy park until i saw two girls with long hair playing in the snow.
the older girl called to me hey you are cute... as written in another diary entry.
the girls led me to their home where i drank hot cocoa and was invited to come sunday morning when her lil sister would be at skool and her parents at their jobs she taught me about condooms and other useful stuff. we had pleasant visits around twice a week for many years.
also the teen named aron stopped being angry at me and we continued our visits dawn and night. and he finally got to see the fountain of milk. many times. the meeting with the young lady became focussed only on her urge for coitus. she would ddrink wine and i woul drink the "hard" stuff one cup cola with one cup rum. it did not "inhibit" anything at our age. that pleasant relationship started precisely the week i needed it and continued for a couple years until she went to college. never from the back exit... that can only be cleaned outside not inside.
one more cool fact. certain weeks there was an additional warmth that addd pleasure i realized that the day before the blood drips out the inside of a lady is extra warm and i requested her to keep track and tell me which day was the day before the pattern so i could enjoy that extra pleasure of warmth each month.
so who would i tell such a story to? o whom? not my parents... nor hers gasp. they would strangle me despite her consent... so i hide her naame and tell the story to my diary.

new cycle with hebrew calendar

this year the date 21 december differs from usual. instead, the first measurably longer daylight time is december 22 so that means START of the new year, for jewish calendar as i will explain. it is measurable therefore hence it is REAL. the dark-time length is varied this year and finding the longest night is more difficult this year than other years so insted we measure the increase in added daylight as the BIRTH of the new cycle adding light. so the first month must begin now on december 22 not yesterday the "so-called-solstice", and not in the month called january simply that jew should be the same as Christian or janus god, nor rabbi changes as explained below but instead, based on reality of nature. as explained below following
so i "upgrade" and fix improve the hebrew-bablon calendar not only by switching out the babylon idol names for jewish names such as "ruben" the first jewish tribe, but also with authority granted in writing from the jewish relijis skool i alo upgrade and fix the "start" of the jewish year and month, from the lunar, bad and "hard to see start" of months and based inconsistently in "some or another moon birth near autumn," to this REALITY start point based not on any word "21 december" nor end of any previous lunar-month-on-paper but established on the foundation of real natural reality the added light today, measurably more, this is the first month named ruben and first day of ruben. basing on the natural reality of added light in a measurable amount. this day the day of added light, in nature, that they call december 22 and we use that number for business and contracts, starts the cycle, the first day of month ruben the first hebrew month named for the first hebrew tribe in book exodus admittedly a bad book but the list of "names" is there.
this swaps the previous "change" so not "jew-new year rosh-hashana" nor any babylon idol name nor the day after the end of any babylon lunar month but based on the natural reality of added light is the birth of the new cycle adding light now until summer followed by the year ending as the time of lite shortens until next winter.
any jew that respects the jew tradition should realize that the lunar was not only "not traditinal" nor original jew but babylon and not jewish until the exile that ezekiel protested and that change recorded in book ezra should not be accepted by traditional jews but instead more the emphasis on respect of jewish tradition must cause them to prefer the jewish name ruben which starts now based on natural reality as above instead of babylon names of babylon culture. any jew that refuses the jewish name ruben and prefers the babylon is insulting the jew tradition and must re-apply for citizenship in jewish nation through the few real jews who prefer the name ruben.
now is season winter as the length od light-time increases throughout winter until the lengths of day and night are equal at end of winter.

clair claus conclusion

conclusion  
3 after clair left skool, in the morning she kew that she was missing classes and lessons. inside she felt bad and guilty. she wished that she could be a true rebel and "not even care" but she did not deny that she felt guilty for missing lessons. still she acted in rebellion and decided that her vacation would be longer from today until end of january. only at end of february she would return to school because this was simply vacation.if she planned to retur  to school that proved she was only vacationing. this excuse did not change the feeling of guilt that she felt.
the first thing a rebel does is break the rules. she thought of the rules that everybody emphasized. no beer until age 18.that would be the first rule she wuld break as a rebel. so she looked around for a shop. she saw many shops for clohing but nonefor snax. she kept walking.
as she continued walking she reached the street interections. clir was having good luck that each time she came to the edj of street the lites told her green go and cross safely because the cars had the symbol red stop. if she would be told to stop she would do same as she had done before. make the crossing safe by using her illusion that car saw a red light-ball  to stop and she already crossed when red told her to stop.
clair continued walking. finally she saw a shop that sold news-paper. she asked the owner for a beer. the owner said "i dont want to sell to you". clair replied "certainly you want to sell each sale you make a profit" man: beer has alcohol and i dont want to break the law. clair: be rebellious like me and violate the law. but the man only laffed.
clair saw the warning on cig-arret. ugh. that is not the way to rebel to insert smoke inside her body and risk future illness. the word cigaret has the letter c the same as the sound in names "cima" and cicilia or cecilia. clair noticed that all the se words have "i or e" near the c like word city. but other letters cab cozy and cut have sound k. she realized that the name simon could have "ci" same as city so cimon. she would name her son cimon. that would be a good rebellion and logical too. no "common names" such as bob or ben or barry.
now that clair decided that the name would be a rebellion she was satisfied with her rebellion and decided to eat lunch early.
the time was barely ten am. not the time for eating. wrong for brekfast nor lunch, but clair had rebelled already by not eating brekfast and now felt appetite. she reached her hand toward her bag and realized it was not with her but in her skool locker. she decided to use illusion.
clair hurried to the fancy restarant nearby. she could not move herself into the building because "no such thing as magic" meaning no magic exists. so she walkd to the edj f the street saw the light showing green and crossed to the restaurant. she tried to make an illusion to go through the door but the dor was real and magic is not real.
clair did the next  best thing possible. she opened the glass door and moved her finger up and side. the door appeard closed then she announced "i wish i could enter" and as people turned to her shout she walkeed into the restaurant that appeard to have a closed door... clair smiled at her great rebellion against doors.
she walked to the line of people waiting for ordering.  clair did not want to wait she she waved her finger and the lady working the cash machine stopped seeing the line of people. clair walked alongside the line and said "i want a ham and jeez samwij". the lady named "buffi" as shown on her name tag, named buffi booker, turned to the only customer that she could see. buffi replied "yes dear. that will be one dollar". clair saw that beside her a man named pete pelton, or was name pawl pelton? stood surprised and frustrated that buffi ignored him as he offered the money.  clair saw her opportunity she was lucky enuf that the man held one paper a  twenty dollar bill. so clair waved her finger so it appeared like a one dollar bill  and as the man handed it to buffi the paper appeared, only the paper so  buffi took the one dollar bill. printed the paper receipt and handed it to clair with the samwij. clair freed the illusion and buffi saw the man. he said please give me the "change" buffi looked at the twenty in her hand and shrugged and gave the man the money between twenty and the price of his meal because she truly held the bill that said twenty 20.
clair sat at a table. she realized that the word change had a g that sounded same as j. but the word "gag" did not sound like j. she realized that e with cor g change the sound. so the name jorj can be with "ge" spelled georj. or for girl georja same sounde as gentle. but city had i and gift also had i yet did not sound like j. oof i am thinking about useless grammar when i need to rebel.
she enjoyed her ham and jeez samwij.
where can she go next? she wanted to go to the cinema. but had no money. so she walked out the door of the restaurant and made illusion that nobody can see her. then she snapped her fingers and a bird obeyed her and carried her almost weightless invisible body to the cinema. she enterd because nobody saw her. she chose the video that she wanted to see a comedy with romance. she walked past the man named "adan" who was needded to check that nobody entered to see for free without ticket payment but poor adan axel did not see her. she saw the story of the video. the emotions of the lady in the story reminded her of her feelings toward burt.
meanwhile as clair watched the video burt was at skool.
he noticed that clair had left the rom and not returned. he felt that she was missing and tearned for her to return so he could see her pretty blue eyes.
he was also bored by skool but for a different reason. burt loved reading and he read many books and knew almost everything that the teachers would say.
while clair was at the video izsabel claus prepared the home for her ma visit. izsabel waved her finger so all the stains and dust was not visible. there. now her mom named iva ishiguro would not see any stains. iva was now a widow because her husband had died. they were never married but iva had been tempted by the mans appearance. so they "made" a baby without wedding nor marriage. sadly he died of lung-cancer soon after their dawter izsabbel was born. in fact santas wife was named izsabbel ishiguro until her wedding to santa when her name must be changed to his name because they are married in one Family izsabel claus.
before iza was ready iva enterd. her eyes were shaped like japanese eyes.she complaind that the room was very dusty and clutterd. iza challenjd her to chek with her finger. so santas criticizing ma-in-law wiped her finger on the top edj of a picture. a place nobody sees nor thinks to clean. she looked at her finger and said "aha" but saw no dust because of iza illusion. iva changed the subject and announced that she had changed her family name to "isgar"  santa laffd "hohoho and said "do you think that hides you? everybody can see you are japanese." iza commented i like that name i will be iza isgar claus.
santa and his wife iza and her mom iva isgar went to the cinema. they also chose a romantic comedy. clair saw them entering late. suddenly the video stopped and the lites switched on.  a man named bif  announced that he was checking tickets. clair whispered to the girl beside her "what is your name" she answered "ava" and turned to see who had asked and clair felt relieved that ava showed a look of surprise that nobody was sitting beside her.
bif came to the isgars and said "please show your ticket" they did not have any because izsabel had used illusion to enter. but her peower was already weak from old age and bif saw her. clair realized that it was wrong to get a service without paying the same as everybody else. she decided she would end her rebellion and return to school.
but only at the end of the video and she woud still rebel by name her son cimon with c.
bif leed santa and his ladies connected by marriage out where they would pay a penalty larger than the price of a ticket and despite paying the penalty could not see the video.
clair enjoyed the video to the end and returned to skool.
when burt passed her and did not notice her she realized that she had not ended her ilusion and burt could not see her. she released the illusion and called "hey burt" he turned and said "clair you are back i missed you". clair did not know what to say. as they stood silently in the hall burt leaned foward and shaped his lips like a kiss. clair leaned forward so her cheek touched his lips and they kissed. she felt enchanted when he kissed her. they ate lunch outside of the skool. they went to the same samwij shop where she ha eaten the ham and jeez. burt ordered a soup with vejdables and clair orderd the fish. as he paid clair made the one dollar bill from her own bag invisible and added it to the pile of paper money that burt gave for the food. she had returned the money that she was supposed to pay and decided that she would never fool people about money again . as the lady buffi lay the twenty with the other twenties the one went with it. later she would see the paper was a one not a twenty.
they ate lunch together not knowing what to say. but looking in each others eyes they felt that they did not need to say anything.
later clair and burt had the most fun chrismas ever in their lives simply sitting near each other. they had a very merry crismas.
the end.

clair claus, improved and next chapter

illusion stop lights and skool

1 meet clair claus a rebellious teen
The date was december 20, last year [one year before the time you are reading this story.]
Clair felt that she could not wait for the winter vacation. she hated skool. can you relate to that feeling? she wished that winter vacation would be the entire months december and january. she also hated that already at 4 after noon, the time she ended her 11-grade-studies, everything outside the building felt dark as the sun was nearing the horizon. she wished she could enjoy the "golden afternoon" a phrase in a song that she heard from disney.
clair was laying in her bed at ten pm, which was shown on her clok: 22:00. she felt tired anyway. her parents santa and izsabbel claus, nagged her that she needed to listen at skool.
she must sleep early and could not enjoy the nite kuz then she would be drowsy at skool. the "price" of that fun would be "not paying her credit card" at all. not even the fifty dollars they agreed to pay for each month. but only if she slept at ten pm. besides ahe felt tired anyway and she hated that  the teachers would notice and say comments at her.
as she lay on her soft mattress and soft sheet, she hugged her thick fluffy winter quilt. it was filled with bird feathers that kept the birds warm and seemed logical to use to keep herself warm.
her ma  named izsabbel would have annoyed her if she had not done her home assignments. that night she needed to practice the math called dividing fractions. like when was that ever useful in life?? at least if i double a recipe: half cup flour, i can use math to know one cup, but this?? who ever halved a recipe? you just made it and saved whatever was not eaten, if too much.
she hated numbers in general and math was the worst subject from all the bad subjects at skool. at least in "lit" they had stories, but even then, the stupid skool always chose the boring stories. skool emphasized fruitless grammar. who cared? as long as we understand the story. and worse was science and math that had no story at all !! her thoughts wanderd from complaining about annoying skool... to one of the boys in her class room. he was in the same grade for mrs. hepburn lesson of science- physics, which by the way is almost entirely... more boring mathematics and equations. he sat far from her near the window.
in classes, clair always tried to find the chair nearest to the door. even at the "dreadful cost" of being in the front row near the teachers, ugh. she knew the name of the cute boy.  his name: burt. yes every day at the time of attendance the teachers would say that name "burt butterell". burt would rais a hand. soon, just hearing his name made her heart flutter. he was so so hot! she loved his dark hair. even from afar. she loved from near his choclat-brown eyes under that unique long uni-brow. his nose seemed too small for his face. the nostrils were like slits and never like that gross teen named brian, that had hairs dangling from his nose. not burt. burt always appeard with combed hair and as if no hair grew in his lovely nose.
she did not mind that burt had those braces wires in his mouth that zig and zag from oddly spaced teeth. some teeth extended lower than others or were "more inside" behind the curved-arch-bow of the teeth. that just proved that he cared enuf to make his teeth in a row.
clair turned her hed to look at the pale green numbers on her digit clock. that clok was a gift from her frend ava. on her fifteenth birthday she had invited som frends, including the nerd liam, to a small party. ava and barrbra each brought their rhyming boyfrends: ayden and braiden.  however liam, charlet clive and caden did not come, despite her personally handing them the decorated invitations. she had not invited gross brian the hairy nose. worst of all her burt had not come. when she had handed him the colorful invitation, he had been polite. "i am sorry that i cant come kuz i have..." she had not even heard his words... lost in those dreamy choclat eyes. you know what that means.
at the party each one gave her a small present. she loved ava's present the most. this pink clock with pale green numbers. that showed the time 22:22 now.
clair thought 'oh why? when i think of that clock my mind goes to burt. he was not even at the party.' she knew that she must sleep or else the teachers would nag her for being drowsy as if she had negligently not slept, . but her mind kept returning to burt. she wrote a text message: "hey burt now is all the same numbers 22:22 cool?" and tapd the screen on the place where the word "send" was seen.
too late she realized, he would think that was not special, because every day also had 11:11, and twice. and worse !!  what if his clock showed "10:22" he would think she was a freak. she wanted him to like her and at least notice her. she thought oh why when i need to sleep burt keeps me awake in my memories.
burt always sat  by the window in mrs. hepburn class. clair's eyes were constantly jumping from the clok with the black hands that barely moved... to that window where burt sat. burt was always looking at the teacher as she talked. burt almost always wore jeans. once she was near enuf to see the symbol. it was not levi nor wranggler but some other symbol that she did not know.
his shirt was almost always one color, differing each day but always with a soft collar folded around his smooth neck. the style of shirt had only 2 or 3 buttons near the neck. she wonderd why he liked that style? but they looked great on him. and each day he chose different color shirts with those pale blue jeans and black-labor shoes.
'no.no!' she thought as she pressed her eyelids together... she must sleep. the teachers would  nag her again for being drowsy in class. but she could not stop thinking about burt sitting beside the window... facing the teacher... finally burt was talking to her and noticing her... a great dream... interrupted by "beep beep beep" yikes! morning already.
another skool day... the windows were dark from clouds on this FIRSt day of winter. the night had been the longest of any other nights but she felt as tired as if she had not slept. tireder than when she had started sleeping... and she heard rain. she jumped from her bed and switched off the beeping before her mom "queen isabella" would shout at her... and another day began...
to be continued... chapter 2 at skool and the rebellion.
2 the rebel
clair had already switched off the beeping clok. she hurried across her small room to her personal shower room. she emptied her waste water from her body. then pushed the handle down so water sloshed down pushing all the bad water away. away from her room to... who knows where. she wanted to shower but then ma would complain "your hair is wet clair, you cant go out in the winter with wet hair. i dont want you to get sick and miss school" today she felt like she should get sick... then she could stay home from gross skool. but feeling sick was bad too.
clair stood by her mirror in the shower room and brushed her blond hair. she wanted to impress burt. she hated her blu eyes because that color was not nice on the eggshell white eyes. instead she could have green or better yet brown eyes or best those choclat brown eyes like burt. that was a good contrast on white eyes.
she liked her blond hair but her eyebrows were barely visible kuz also blond. clair pushed some mustard colord powder along her eyebrows so she would have eyebrows.
under her eyes were a few pale brown freckles that contrasted her milky-pink skin. that was pretty... same as burts eyes.
clair washed her hands in the cold chilly water and rubbed her hands together under the stream of water to make her hands clean. she dried her hands on the long soft green-teal towel. she walked to her closet and there she yanked off her long gown of pyjama. she quickly yanked down her pyjama pants. and was just about to choose her skirt... when her door flew open.
clair spun to see her ma at the doorway and blurted out "you are rude ma. you must knock" at the same time ma isabell claus shouted "cover yourself! is this a brothel for hores?" clair repeated in a calm voice "you need to knock". ma raised her screaming voice "dont you shout back at me"... and clair knew she had pressed her mom's hypocrite button. ma was at fault this time and must be feeling angry that clair had noticed.
instead of her skirts, clair grabbed a pale blu blouse. pulled the hanger from the closet and turned it. the ruffles in the front looked nice. burt would notice her.
as she pulled the blouse over her head, ma complaind again, "your legs are bare i can see your entire back and legs". usualy clair woulda replied "sorry ma" but this time... clair rebelled saying "shut your... eyes... and ... mouth too."
instead of the skirt she decided to wear jeans, but before taking them said to her shocked ma, "and if i go to skool, only like this that is fine the same as at the beach."
mom stammered... and finally managed to say "well i never" and left the room. she shouda left when she saw that clair had left bed.
ma walked to parent room and bellowed at pa, "clair is awake. santa claus replied "you gotta trust her, she is a good kid"... but clair was too far away to hear his kind words.
to be continued.
clair grabbed her coat and left the house without eating brekfast. she did not feel hungry anyway. she was worried burt would think she was fat like her dad santa.
she walkd along the path from the door to the sidewalk. she turned left toward skool. and reached the light. the cars moved by her and the light shown red telling her "stop". she felt like stopping her trip to skool. but feared the price of her credit card. she wanted to buy new things each month. she did not want to wait just standing in the cold.
CLAIR swirled her finger in a small circle 3 times and then flicked her finger toward the set of 3 lites. a shiny red ball covered the dark top lite... and dark balls covered the other two. the drivers could not see the green light telling them "go" because of her illusion. they stopped kuz they saw the red light and clair safely crossed the street.
a few more paces along the pavement and beside the frozen grass, was the path to the skool. she again had doubt if she should enter skool? but she wanted to see burt and for burt to see her. that she wanted. not any person telling her to go to skool or telling what they wanted.
she enterd the class room for first class.
the teacher was not there. burt approached her and offered her half of his egg samwij. she wanted to thank him but feared she would say the worng thing. she felt like her lungs were frozen in fear. and stammered... finally she nodded and ran to her desk near the door. she shoved the samwij down her throat hardly chewing and barely tasting the kejjup and cheese.
the teacher mrs. bek,bel bek enterd and checked the attendadance.
she said the list of names: "caden, cal, cedrik, clive, cody, connor, cy" each boy responded here in contrast to burt who had simply raised his hand silently. then girls: "cady" clair wished that her name was "cady"  but she blamed her parents for choosing an ugly name. like clair, air, ugh. the list continued... caryl, charlet, christell, [which sounds like crystal so double meaning]... and before "clair", the teacher said "kyma" and a girl protested "not kyma". bek tried again "keema". the girl spelled "c-i-m-a like city so seema". the teacher repeated cima, adding "yep  like cilia and city and cent". next bek said clair and clair replied "not here". the teacher ignored her words as if she had said here and continued the list: cora then d etc.
a ma and dawter enterd the classroom. ma said "sorry we are late we met with the principal who sent us here. meet bia." the teacher wrote the name and bia went silently to sit at the empty desk... besde burt. clair glared at bia's fashion skirt and simple shirt and felt dager that the new girl would be near her burt. worse bia said "hi" to burt.
she shoulda sat near burt... but by the dor was better.
in fact she would leave now ! as the teacher read more names, clair left the room and walked along the corridor.
she expected the monitor ranger to stop her but saw none.
clair left the skool. her vacation had begun early.to be continued.

name list improved

help list
john jordan, but mike millikin or mike muller?
PERSONAL note: charlot like "harlot" must fix and harper 21 was harping.
from a, boy and girl
A-Boy=b adan ayden, allan, andre, angelo.
A=a+g=Girl, *ava, adrian, alexa, amelia, ann, aria.
bb barry, ben, bif, bob, braiden, burt,,.
bg baily, barrbra, [barbaric and barb but bra good], bel, bia, bonita, buffi.
cb caden, cal, cedrik, clive, cody, connor, cory, cy
cg cady, caryn,, caryl, charlet, cima, clair, christell, cora.
db daryl, dave, deen, dennis, don, dustin.
dg dee,, denise, dynna, donna, dorothy, 
eb ed, enriq, ethan*, erik,, eugene, evan.
eg edith, emma*, emily*, evlyn, elvia.
fb felleip, fil, fergus, franz, fred, forestt.
fg fabbia, fay, felma, fran, freeda.
gb gary, gerard, georj, gilligan, glenn, guy.
gg gail, geena, gemma, georja, grace.
hb hal, harold, henry, hiro, howard, huburt.
hg haily, hannah, helin, hether, holly.
ib ian, ino, ira, isac, ivo.
ig ileen, irene, iva, ina, izabbel
jb jaxon, jayden, jermy, jim, jon, jorj, julian.
jg jane, jakky, jemma, jo, joanna, julee.
kb kal, kevvin, keith, kriss, kory, kody, kurt, kyl.
kg kali,, kaylee, kloee, kelli, kika, kim, kora.
lb landon, lee, liam*, logan, luis.
lg layla, lesli, lily, lois, lori, lucy, lyle,.
mb martin, mason*, micky,  mike*, murry.
mg mandy, mkenzy, meryl, mia*, mishel, molly.
nb nathan, neil, nelson, nicolas, normin.
ng nancy, nelly, nicole, nomi, nora, nuria.
ob odis,, otis, owen, oliver, olivier.
og oana,,  odetta, olivia*, oria.
pb pascal, perry, phil, pawl, pete.
pg paisley, pamla, paula, peggy, polly, prissilla.
qb qal=kal=cal, qevvin+quan, qeith, qriss, qory, qody, qurt, qyl.
qg qali,, qaylee, qloee, qelli, qika, qim, qora.
rb raphal,, raymond, richard, riko,, rowhan, ron, ryan.
rg raijl, renei, riley, rosa, roxan.
sb saja, sebastian, shawn, sid, stanly, steve.
sg sally, sahndra, skarlett, serafa, sofia*, stella.
tb ted, tim, tod, toby, tristan, tyler.
tg tahnya, tammy, teina, thora, trisha.
u?
vb val, vidal, vinss, vladimir
vg vandana,, viki, vladia,
wb wally, wawrin, wayn, william, wyatt.
wg willow,
yb ?
yg yoko
zb zabbi, zxavier
zg zoe/y,
FAM
v a>r w
 allen+abbi, appel, atkins, ambrose+amelia*11, angel+anna, ash, axelrod.
basham, bek, birmingham, brennan+braidin, booker, butterell
cassal, chesse+charley, cleg+clive, cobb, colwell, cusack, 
davis, depp,  dion, dowdall, duguid, durkin.
ebsen, elman, ennis+enriq, emyrs, evans.
fay, fisher, fox, foy,, franzl, fulton,
garrett, genzel, gilliver, gladstein, gould, grant-grover gunderson.
haddity, heasman, hepburn, hill, hoegarty, hoog, hopwood+holly, hudson.
ingman, ireland, isgar, ishiguro,  iyer
janes, jamrok+jake, jekyl+jeremy, jordan, jurow, 
kalindjian+kathy, keen, kelloway, king+kim, kovacs, kunszt.
kelly keen but kelly kelloway seems too repeated
ladd, lane, lennon, lipniki, lobb+lori, lucken.
mather, mendez, milliken,  moyer, muller.
naze, neal, nevvin, noble, nuwirth.
oates, obst, oke+owen, ortiz, osgood, ott.
parisse, pasquin, pelton+paul, peerss, potter, puhm. pedro pelton or pedro peerss.
quan, queeno, quinn, quku qureshi
reed, rhys, richards, roter, rooney, ruben.
saadon, shaw+sharon, singer, sobel+shawn, strus, sullivan.
tarnawsky, tissier, thorby-theo, tracy, tottman, trudel, turturici.
udeji, ulmer, unger, urda, utley.
vath, verde+val, villanueva, vito, vollmer, vullo, vyas
walsh, weston, wheeler, wilkins, wite+william+woods, wyatt.
xao+xavier, xoan, xu, xythalsi
yacono, yerina, yolevsky+yoko, yung, yunioshi.
zan+zxavier, zayas+zabbi, zek, zobel, zuber, zwik.

solution for names

sometimes people think of a story but cant think of any name or any good name
or think of a name but cant pair it with similar letter for example mike muller or mike miller
so tthis lst will provide options to attach a name from the personal name list to the family name.

לפעמים מי שכותב לא מצליח לחשוב על שם ואז מפסידים כי את הסיפור לא טרחו לספר רק כי חששו שלא מצאו שם יפה והה רשימה לעזור לסופרים לבחור שם בכלל ושם של זוג בפרט. היינו לחבר שם פרטי עם שם משפחה לפי האות הראשונה ולפעמים אם רוצים יותר אותיות לדוגמה 

MIKE MULLER 

MIKE MILLER

 והנה רשימה מאותיות עד טי T יש עוד קצת להשלים אבל הרשימה כמעט שלימה. אז תהנו ולא להעתיק את הרשימה חלילה. רק אתם תלקטו ותבחרו לצרף שמות מרשימת הפרטי לבחירת לכם מרשימת שמות משפחה.

andy anderson--repeats but two skill, others need help list
john jordan

PERSONAL 9->49 v i cant stand charlot like "harlot" and harper 21 was harping.
a-e f?
A-Boy=b adan ayden, allan, andre, angelo.
A=a+g=Girl, *ava, adrian, alexa, amelia, anna, aria.
bb barry, ben, bif, bob, braiden, burt
bg baily, barrbra, [barbaric and barb but bra good], bel, bia, buffi.
cb caden, cal, cedrik, clive, cody, connor, cy
cg cady, caryl, charlet, cima, clair, christell, cora,
db daryl, dave, deen, dennis, don.
dg deena, denise, dynna, donna, dorothy, 
eb ed, ethan*, eric, eugene, evan.
eg edith, emma*, emily*, evelyn, elvia,
fb fil, finn, fergus, franz, fred.
fg fay, fran,
gb gary, georj,
gg grace, geena, gemma, georjina,
hb hal, henry, howard, huburt
hg haily, hannah, helin,
ib ian, ivo,
ig irene, iva,
jb jaxon,  jayden, jermy, jim, jon, jorj, julian,
jg jane, jennifer, jemma, joanna, julee,
kb kevvin, kirt,
kg kathy, kaylee, kloe, keeli,
lb landon , lee, liam*, logan, luis,
lg layla, lesli, lily, lois, lucy,
mb mason*, micky,  mike*
mg madilyn, mackenzy, meryl, mia*, molly,
nb neil, nicolas, 
ng nataly, nelly, nicole, nora, nuria.
ob owen, oliver,
og olivia*,
pb pat, phil, paul,
pg paisley, pamla, penny, polly
rb raphal, richard, rowhan, ron, ryan,
rg renei, riley, rosa,
sb saja, sebastian, shawn, sid, stanly, steve.
sg sally, skarlett, serafa, sofia*, stella.
tb ted, tim, tom, tony,
tg tahra, trisha,
ub
ug
vb val,
vg viki,
wb wally, wayn, wyatt,
wg
yb
yg yoko,
zb zabbi, zxavier
zg zoe/y,
FAM
v a>m, n? o->r, s? w
 allen+abbi, atkins, ambrose+amelia*11, angel+anna, ash, axelrod, 
basham, bedrosian, birmingham, brown+braidin, booker, butterell
cassal, chesse+charley, cleg+clive, cobb, cusack, 
davis, depp,  dowdall, duguid, durkin.
ebsen, elman, ennis, emyrs, evans.
fay, fisher, fox, franzl, fulton,
garrett, genzel, gilliver, gladstein, gould, grant-grover gunderson.
haddity, heasman, hepburn, hill, hogarty, hopwood+holly, hudson.
ingman, ireland, isgar, ishiguro,  iyer
janes, jamrok+jake, jekyl+jeremy, jordan, jurow, 
kalindjian, keen, kelloway, king, kovacs, kunszt. kelly keen but kelly kelloway seems too repeated
ladd, lane, lennon, lipniki, lobb, lucken.
mather, menzies, milliken,  moyer, muller.
naze, neal, nevin, noble, nuwirth.
obst, oke, ortiz, osgood, oates, ott.
parisse, pelton+paul, peerss, pill, pled/dell, potter, puhm. pedro pelton or pedro peerss.
quan, queeno, quinn, quku qureshi
reed, rhys, richards, roter, rooney, ruben.
saadon, shaw+sharon, singer, sobel+shawn, sturup, sullivan.
tarnawsky, tissier, thorby-theo, tracy, tottman, trudel, turturici.
udeji, ulmer, unger, urda, utley,
vath, verde+val, villanueva, vito, vogt, vullo, vyas
walsh, weston, wheeler, wilkins, wite+william+woods, wyatt.
xao+xavier, xoan, xu, xythalsi
yacono, yerina, yolevsky+yoko, yung, yunioshi,
zan+zxavier, , zayas+zabbi, zek, zobel, zuber, zwik
mike millikin or mike muller?

the thought of knifing a baby

when i think about myself and my own life and realize that relijin CHANGED me from a good nature... my nature was "NEVER hurt anybody" as nature not because the TEACHER said dont push people down" it does not say that but even me with that nature never to push nor hit and i knew NOT to use a knife to cut any person yet even me the religion swayed that i almost KNIFING used a knife to cut my own son for the religious circumcision of "abraham" jew/christian/islam, when the baby is healthy and no "surgery" situation, i feel awful that i was swayed to harm my own son... i feel so bad about myself that i can barely leave bed except to warn others not to be swayed.
if you believe in religion... still wait and the son will choose which ideas he will believe and if he will cut himself. not when the baby cant agree not when the child cant choose nor resist or can be swayed without knowing the harm.

the rebellion of clair claus part one

1
the date was december 20, last year [one before the time you are reading this story.]
Clair felt that she could not wait for the winter vacation. she hated skool. can you relate to that feeling? she wished that winter vacation was the entire months december and january. she also hated that the sky was already dark by the time she ended her studies at 4 in afternoon. she wished she could enjoy the "golden afternoon" in a song she heard from disney.
clair was laying in her bed at ten pm written 22:00. she knew that she needed to listen at skool and could not enjoy the nite kuz then she would be drowsy at skool and the teachers would notice and say comments at her.
as she lay on her soft mattress and soft sheet, she hugged her thick fluffy winter quilt. her ma  named izsabbel would have annoyed her if she had not done her work. that night she needed to practice the math called dividing fractions. like when was that ever useful in life?? at least if i double a recipe: half cup flour i can use math to know one cup but this?? she hated numbers in general and math was the worst subject from all the bad subjects at skool. at least in "lit" they had stories but even then the stupid skool always chose the boring stories. and emphasized fruitless grammar. who cared? as long as we understand the story. and worse was science and math that had no story at all !!
her thoughts wandered from complaining about annoying skool... to one of the boys in her class room. they were in the same class for mrs. hepburn class of science- physics, which by the way is almost entirely more boring mathematics and equations. he sat far from her near the window. clair always tried to find the chair nearest to the door. even at the "dreadful cost" of being in the front row near the teachers. ugh. she knew his name: burt. yes every day at the time of attendance the teachers would say that name "burt butterell". burt would rais a hand. soon just hearing his name made her heart flutter. he was so so hot! she loved his dark hair. even from afar. she loved from near his choclat-brown eyes under that unique long uni-brow. his nose seemed too small for his face. the nostrils were like slits and never like that gross teen named brian, that had hairs dangling from his nose. not burt. burt always appeard with combed hair and as if no hair grew in his lovely nose.
she did not mind that burt had those braces wires in his mouth that zig and zag from oddly spaced teeth. some teeth extended lower than others or were "more inside" behind the bow of the teeth. that just proved that he cared enuf to make his teeth in a row.
clair turned to look at the pale green numbers on her digit clock. that clok was a gift from her frend ava. on her fifteenth birthday she had invited som frends, including the nerd liam, to a small party. ava and barrbra who each brought their rhyming boyfrends: ayden and brayden.  however liam charlet clive and caden did not come despite her personally handing them the decorated invitations. she had not invited gross brian the hairy nose. worst of all her burt had not come. when she had handed him the colorful invitation he had been polite. "i am sorry that i cant come kuz i have..." she had not even heard his words... lost in those dreamy choclat eyes. you know what that means.
at the party each one gave her a small present. she loved ava's present the most this pink clock with pale green numbers. that showed the time 22:22 now.
oh why? when i think of that clock my mind goes to burt. he was not even at the party. she knew that she must sleep. but her mind kept returning to burt. she wrote a text message. hey burt now is all the same numbers 22:22 cool?" and send. too late she realized he would think that was not special because every day also had 11:11. and worse what if his clock showed "10:22" he would think she was a freak. she wanted him to notice her.
burt always sat  by the window in mrs. hepburn class. her eyes were constantly jumping from the clok with the black hands that barely moved... to that window where burt sat. burt was always looking at the teacher as she talked. burt almost always wore jeans. once she was near enuf to see the symbol. it was not levi nor wranggler but some other symbol that she did not know.
his shirt was almost always had a soft color-collar and only 2 or 3 buttons near the neck. she wonderd why he liked that style? but they looked great on him. and each day he chose different color shirts with those pale blue jeans and black-labor shoes.
no.no she thought as she pressed her eyelids together she must sleep. the teachers would criticise her again for being drowsy in class. but she could not stop thinking about burt sitting beside the window... finally burt was talking to her and noticing her... a great dream interrupted by "beep beep beep" yikes! morning already.
another skool day... the windows were dark from clouds and she heard rain. she jumped from her bed and switched off the beeping before her mom "queen isabella" would shout at her... and another day began...
to be continued... chapter 2 at skool and the rebellion.

the PROBLEM with names and a solution

the author name-problem and solutions
some talented people can think of a story, and also choose or generate the names of the characters in the story. for example "oliver and the sad day". but even they have several options for choosing the family name. and a list would help in several ways.
some names feel  repetitive such as "alice allison" or "andy anderson" or "nevyl nevin" three letters is too much same, unless "cherry chesse" sounds different. skilled writers can generate names that initial letters match such as "cora clark" or better "cora colyer." but difficult to match many names. kate with? what starts with k?
a list of names will allow authors to match the names together and select ooptions: only first letter match "kate kudrow" or two letters "larry ladd" or "cherry chesse" or "grant-grover or grover grant".
others can think of story but feel "stuck" choosing any name. the PROBLEM is then they dont publish the story just kuz some wont like the name but a LIST as below is a solution  they can choose which name FEELS good for the story.
STEP ONE
choose name: alan/alice then choose match from  family list:
[future lists will suggest first names personal names]
list one: family names A->T.
Note almost all letters have five 5 options. i need help with i, q, and u.
alan+alden? 2. or alan+atkins etc. but asher+ash seeme too much same.
Alden, atkins, ambrose,  angel, ash, axelrod, 
basham, bedrosian, birmingham, brown, booker, butterell
carpenter, chabria. chesse. clark, colyer, cusack, 
davies, denham,  dowdall, duguid, durkin.
ebsen, elman, ennis, emyrs, evans.
fay, fisher, fox, franzl, fulton,
garden, genzel, givenchy, gladstein, gould,  gunderson.
hanson, hart, heasman, hepburn, hill, hogarty, hudson.
ingman, ireland, isgar, ishiguro,
janes, jamrok, jekyl, jordan, jurow,
kalindjian, keen, king, kovacs, kunszt.
ladd, lennon, levin/e, lisman, lucken.
mather, mercer, milliken,  moyer, muller.
naze, neal, nevin, noble, nuwirth.
obst, oke, ortiz, osgood, ott.
parisse, pelton, pill, porter, puhm.
quan
reed, rhys, richards, rose, rooney, ruben.
saadon, shaw, singer, sobel, sturup, sullivan.
tarnawsky, thorby-theo, tracy, tottman, trudel, turturici.
unger, and u? help...

my summary to replace bad series "jag" 1.16->21 end s1

continued from
https://thinkforyourselfn8.blogspot.com/2019/11/my-summary-to-replace-bad-series-jag-14.html
there

16 soldiers navy, jump from a plane. all open parachute except one who fell to death. he was son of politician. inv. why p. not open.
17 soldiers in nam shoot as hel. came to move them away from battle but rocket destroyd hel. dad wakes from nightmare hearing son reliving the battle in nightmare. can son be body of dead frend?
18 they exit sv kuz feul leak. but cable broke killing the escaping pilot. did the one to gain damage the cable?
19 he is in "chinese prison" following arrest. maybe his missing dad also same prison.
20 sailor cant say bye nor give jewelry to lady. next, a kid stole the j. chased kid until find corpse of dead sailor. inv murder . this one trained on the system that now took control of boat.
21 lady left boat. next morning after eggs find her stabbd. inv bla bla, end season.

game A-corner colors

if you know the game king corner it will be easy to learn this better game. if not, then this easy game.
preparation: remove the picture cards and jokers 14. remain 40. mix or shuffle.
give each player 5 cards from 40 same as fingers.
arrange the four 4 directions with one visible card for each direction. color does not matter unless advanced game. next post.
each player can lay one card, per turn, IF follows the visible card. 3 on 2 etc. or lay "a" the strong card in a corner. if no card to lay then the turn is take a card from pile. that is the turn must hold.
the first player empty cards wins. no dropping, to yu cheaters! sadly we need to see if the winner dropped cards.

the motivation to be a "bad wife"

ever since ancient times society has been BRIBING women to annoy their husbands with "money and severance packages" when they could send "my dauter back to me" dad return to dad if divorce with no bribe to motivate annoying her husband.'
for example the  jew tradition called ktba is give money to women if divorce. what is alternative? if marriage "faild" or man died return to dad... instead bad relijin bribes women to annoy their husband until divorce so she can collect the money called ktuba she can only get the money if she annoys him enuf to cause him to get divorce. this bribe is disguised as "help the weak women" when she could come to me her dad and as pa I want to help her. instead the bad jew relijin offers her incentive and reward all she needs to do is act annoying enuf to get divorced and she collects her reward cash money.
our generation made the PRIZE BRIBE larger with monthly payments and other "severance package benefits" which will motivate anybody to get money by annoying and even hitting their husband.
we must be warned that in our society marriage is not only doomed because the lady has bribe to motivate her to annoy her man but also we must recognize and avoid marriage and weddings until society removs the prize for being annoying.
earlier generations  could hit the woman when she was annoying but if we cant, then the marriage is domed because she wants to get her reward and easy to annoy her man.
Christianity removed the bribe by forbidding divorce as book said.
Anglican rejected pope for divorce truly rejecting book... unless claiming only resurection is a principle but the rest is not essential. if pope claimed essential rejected pope because less important and violat-able same as covering hair in Corinthians.

my summary to replace bad series "jag" 1.4->15

must be replaced by short action sections. ep. 4 investigate murder but during peace, hence bad to involve military investigators kuz even a soldier is civilian not a soldier then.
5 jets fly from the aircraft carrier boat. the soldiers on the ground called "marines" practice aiming at the jets. the pilot flew very low, close to the ground. but the autopilot is not low enuf so he tries lower and crashed jet killing himself. inv will try to recreate whatever happened.
6 a long limo enters the gate of the am. embassy. a gaurd saw somebody running on the railing above the embassy. he fears assassin and mistakenly shoots a teen who dies. what does he deserve? we are not judge nor studied laws. so stupid.
7 gaurds stop a car and say we inspect. the suspicious driver crashed thru the barrier so the gaurds shoot pistols until the driver stops. they find a rocket launcher inside. inv. will inv the theft. plus prisoners escape taking a hostage. first story! d2brig.
new
8 a jeep gets lost in kuwait. iraqis shot one u-s soldier and captured the other for crossing the invisible border. american lawyers can... defend in iraq court haha absurd fiction.
9 find suicide dead from hanging in marine training investigate bla bla pretend to be a trainee in that unit to get info.
10 a girl runs out from her house and sees an unidentified aerial vehicle over an empty military base. it flew away with her, so claims dad.
11 during training to go from water to beach [amfibius] they find a wounded soldier. investigate bla bla.
12 a pilot destroyed a bosnian helicopter that violated no-fly de-militarized zone. they accuse him of violating cease-fire. he claims they shot... story shows guilty until proven innocent hence very bad. did prove no battle? the accuser lacks witness kuz other pilot "jet broke and fell in enemy land" or b shot down? and witness only words not facts could be mad at partner r favor.
13 a pilot lost navigation [near? bad story] and accidently flew near cuba when lightning ruind electronics and interfered with radio. two jets threaten to shoot if he will not landing. inv go cuba to get back jet and pilot before the cubans can copy the data and software and sell the  data to iraq.
14 a spy succeeds at getting secret data... inside pentagon unlocking doors... absurd. a man shot her and must be stopped before assasinating a visiting official.
15 a shooting teacher shoots at a jeep to make it stop and argue with the officer who refused to discuss his assignment. he was "promised stateside". they accuse him of attempted murder but he is the expert at aiming.
but bad paper, also bad, as before write "already guilty" until proven innocent. must warn bad series and replace.

my summary to replace bad series "jag"

jag-off-ic-ers, the action to replace and warn about the bad series jag.
summary of 1-7
first episode called "pilot" summary and warning:  pilots fly jets to the zone of "no fly" demilitarize and go to shoot two jets violators. the navigator prepared the missile but the pilot ordered not to use it. he moves near the mig and shoots a missile. the second mig chased him and the helper jet fails to chase it away so he spins and oops magicaly the mig passes so he shoots it with guns.
both she and pilot get praise destroying the violation jets but she gets pushed off the boat that carries jets by unknown hands. the internal investigators must discover why she died and if pushed into sea. they catch somebody between admitting they dont know who did it, and before finding evidence that points at the suspect. so stupid series. only select action here so this replaces bad series. ah and the wording on the cover even worse to sway the reader that us navy is guilty of crimes. and other mistakes so i must replace.
2 a  submarine follows a test target. the test-torpedo follows the target but then the developer sends it to threaten citizens kuz wants money, so how will the inv. trick him? he tricked the navy to use only he control.
3 practicing artillery, a soldier instructs wrong coordinates. the bomb kills and injures people. the inv. will see what happened... and the writers will pretend to be judges misusing the safety of fiction to sway the viewers i mean most humans will be swayed by the injected ideas that the actors as judge and lawyer say. terrible trick. only action select kuz the writers are not judges nor should they pretend to be nor try to sway viewers from the camaflage of fiction.
so only action here to replace series named jag beware.
another flaw is the bad decision. when pilot has the option of chase missile it seems destructive to risk entire jet and crew to get near enough to use cheaper missile and gun. if goal is not to use expensive missile then risked entire jet! no punishment for  reckless risk when had option. and that is supposedly the judges series.
must be replaced by short action seections.
4 investigate murder bla bla bla
5 jets fly from the aircraft carrier boat. the soldiers on the ground called "marines" practice aiming at the jets. the pilot flew very low, close to the ground. but the autopilot is not low enuf so he tries lower and crashed. inv will try to recreate whatever happened.
6 a long limo enters the gate of an embassy. the gaurd saw somebody running on the railing above the embassy. he fears assassin and mistakenly shoots a child. what does he deserve? we are not judge nor studied laws. so stupid.
7 gaurds stop a car and say we inspect. the suspicious driver crashed thru the barrier so the gaurds shoot pistols until the driver stops they find a rocket launcher inside. inv. will try to discover whatever happened.
t.b.c.

my first night in a dorm

dear diary--my first night in a dorm
in the autumn of 1988 i was 12 almost 13 years from birth. i had wrongly been doing jewish ceremonies one year early before age 13. i already finished 8 grade therefore will save the summer story for future diary.
we drove to the ohio state skool. i enterd the dormitory and saw a list of names. all the students that registered were listed  rooms. the names were alphabeticly listed. so i found my name and room number on the ground floor.
after i unpacked i met my two room mates both dressed like boys. they each entered and announced their names. one was not named mikil like angel mikael and the other was not named aron.
they told me their story that both were in my grade starting 9th grade year but unlike myself, both had already been in the dorm and had been room partners when they were in 8th grade. so they would sleep in the SAME room that they had slept in last year. they explained to me that supper would be served at 7pm because lunch was later than normal time. also since they had eaten lunch at normal time noon they would not wait until 7pm and would eat in the room with food they had brought from home.
we chatted about our lives. aron asked me "do you hav a girlfriend?" and i lied "no" because atara and julee weere secret lover and we had now separated. so we chatted more.
i asked them the frend list question: when is your birthday?
aron said his birthday month was april and mikil said has birthday month was march so he was better kuz he was born first. they refused to say the date and taught me birth dates are secret. i said my birthday was in september 1975. they were HORRIFIED. that means i was too young for ninth grade. they explained that i had been wearing the jew-ceremony blocks TOO EARLY. no twelve year old is allowed to wear the prayer cubes. the earlieest to start is one month or one week before 13 birthday so we counted together if i was born in september 1975 then in END of 1976 complete one and called two. end of '77 2 and one day. end '78 3 and one day so i had not yet reached the age 13 and one day as the relijin defined in traditional books.
i protested that after twelve complete years i am called 13 so they counted again and i saw my parents had wrongly burdened me again. now it was FORTY DAYS before my birthday start 13 and too early to wear the cubes. wearing it at the wrong age was bad kuz nobody wears the cubes age twelve.
i would need to wait ten more days.
then they unpacked their supper and dined.. aron had baked chikkin leg that he held in his hand by the bone and ate the thigh and leg. mikil had a samwij bread with red salami inside. mikil offerd me his second samwij but i explained that the taste of salami is not for me. also most samwij have mayonayz and the taste of vinegar is not for me.
they giggled nervously when they heard me say "not for me" and aron said that my way was the best way to say the taste is bad for you.
they each had a large bag of popcorn and they each shared dumping from their bags into a ten inch zip bag so we muncehd the snak and talkd about our lives. i asked them their favrit color and they said that this question is only for first graders.
finally at 7 pm i went for late supper. they did not come kuz they already ate. so i met the other brats in my grade year. they called themselve the class of '92 assuming they would all graduate that year. they were in one word an obnoxious bunch attacking each other with mean words and i immediately fled to a nebor table where two older boys sat only the close frends together. they ate silently and wen i said "hi my name is not tal" they motioned to be silent. so i sat silently as they ate silently. that was much better than trying to talk while your mouth is busy chewing.
after supper of cheap hodo- abbreviation for hot-dogs weeners from ground parts of the cow that they cant sell. we all went to the dorm to unpack but i already emptied my travel cases into the drawers. so i just talked with my new roommates.
aron told me that i should wear a robe to sleep then no pajamas. i responded that autum is too cold. he responded that we all have blankets.
i did not obey and as usual after showering i pulled on new und-y-s and loose pajama pants. they had colord stripes. i added the robe over it for peer pressure.
mikil asked "do you want me to wake you early to prepare for the prayers?" i repied "no way i wont lose any sleep" aron said "wake me so i can pea first." i asked wadya mean.so he explained at 7.15 the music blares [yes he said "blares"] to wake everybody and one hundred kids all awaken and feel that their bladders filled all night and all need to DRAIN at the same time at the 3 pea pots. so i said "wake us up so we wont wait in line".
we chatted some more until inspection. an older student came in, switched on the small light by the sink and switched off the central light that had 3 bulbs. i asked "why does the room have a sink." this caused an argument. aron said that the jew law obligates to wash hands as soon as possible from time of awakening. not even walking 4 paces." i replied from each of our beds even the nearest is more than 4 paces. mikil argued that the jew law obligated NOT WAIT but a sin to wait from emptying waste water calld urine. since at awakening you need to obey both you must obey the "o-rice-a" one more important meaning based on word of god. but aron replied "first wash then pea and then wash kuz the evil spirit must be removed before it enters your pea hole" mikil was ready for that and said we anyway dont touch our fingers to that hole. they argued some more repeating their claims in different ways until i realized that relijin is bad and causes needless fighting about empty harmless issues. but... which one would i do? word of god seemed more important so waaiting is bad sin kuz filthy inside.
next morning was special.
mikil shook my shoulder and called my name "tal, you said i should wake you go drain". not thinking i pulled myself from the FOOT of the bed, kuz mikil stood at the side and as i stepped toward the sink by the door i jamd my toe into the METAL that was in the floor to stop the door from opening too far "unh" i moaned as I stumbled to the sink.
aron urjd "wash first like my dad the rabbi said" but mikil repeated "sin to wait" hid that his pa was also a rabbi. which would i DO in action? i obeyed the sin. and ran along the corridor to drain the urine. mikil jogged behind me. aron was not swayed by the evidence and i heard him splashing the water in the jew ceremony.
we enterd the empty toilet room and stood by the white wall holes. grossly called urin-als. i drained many hours of urine like every morning. the sound of the bubbling echoed in the emty toilet room with no sound from the sleeping studnts. mikil said "shush" so i turned so the stream of waste water would hit the white painted steel instead of splashig forcefully into the water. mikil finished draining first and walked to the sinks. he filled the large plastic cup and washed the jew ceremony but 4 pours on each hand.
i continued draining many hours of urine. finally i emptied the waste water and washed as my custom 3 pours on each hand. we walked silently returning to the room as aron passed us in a robe going to drain. mikil dressed and went to prepare for prayers while aron drained. i climbed into bed kuz early and saw i had 20 minutes until the music blared.
i shut my eyes and before i could think anything the music was blaring. a younger boy not named ernie, was beside my bed saying "did you know you snore?" i understod that i had slept again. irnee said "slide over." aron had already left with mikil.
so i was curious and slid towards the wall. he climbed in beside me and said that he sees that my pen, is erect. this was surprising considering that i had already drained the pressure from the urine. he whispered that it means i want ess-ee-eks.
i was silent expecting him to offer me to insert into his rear exit... which i considered a sin and also physic-ly dirty kuz only able to clean outside the rear exit hole. only years later I would realize that at age 17 I was a "bi" but not then age 12.
the thing that happend next was far better. the eth grader slid his hand along my pajama shirt. then in a circle on my fat overweight stomik. he traced widening circles until his hand hit the male finger then suddenly he grabbed it. i moaned with pleasure. the pleasure was so intense that I did not know where i was nor hear any music despite it blared loudly to wake everybody.
i slid my hand up his pajama pants leg except he was wearing only his white robe. my hand slid under his robe along his smooth leg  actually thy. i slid my hand as he gripped the hodo in his hand like a hodo bun from outside my p-j pants. i slid my hand between his thys. pressing against his rite thy. we lay there in my bed under my blankets and only wen he released his grip of the hodo bun did i notice the music blaring. he separated his thys. i imagined briefly that he was atara and not a boy until my hand slid along his right thy and bumped into a soft tube. it was very soft yet much longer than mine when soft. this was not a girl. i was shocked that his tube was soft but soon distracted as his hand found the GAP in the p-j pants for easy pea. i explored his smooth male-bag much MUCH smoother than my bumpy skin of the mail bag. it felt like the skin of a smooth snake that i had never touched in my life yet smooth with un-raised diamond pattern. his hand entered the gap in the p-j pants and searched around the und-y-s. no delay he found the gap for easy pea thru the undy. and said tonite only sleep in a robe this will be more fun.
he would also help me meet another kid that causd pleasure on Saturdays. anyway his finger enterd the gap of the und-y and his thumb and ring finger  gripped the male finger for a long time i was almost unconscious from pleasure.
when he released i heard his watch beep. the music was silent and no sound from students in the hall. he said tonight he would help me wash my shoulders kuz hard to reach and we would meet again in the dawn like today.
we quickly dressed and ran to the pray-hall. everybody else wore the blocks so my desire to "fit in" and not appear noticeably different swayed me to sin that i wrapped the prayer cubes ten days too early knowingly. mikil motioned with his hand that this was wrong.
we had arrived just in time for the standing prayer. i knew,  since third grade that i was not obligated to say that nor the many tens of pages that evrybody else had read but i had not read. i knew ever since third grade those were "if want". and not everyone wants. ernie walked to me wearing his prayer blocks and wisperd watch the rabbi standing there.
the rabbi was silently reading the prayers. i skipped pages to the "hear" devotion and read "listen israelite nation, master is our god master is one" and continued with the 3 paragraphs selected from bible tora in the order that rabbis directed not the order in the bible. only later i would learn that the printers were wrong choosing those sections.
i read them as i swayed pretending to read the silent prayer. when i finished those 200 words from bible, i pretended to bow same as in the silent prayer turned the page breathed in and out for each pair of lines that my eye counted and turned pages until the last page of the standing prayer and i emphasize I did not say even one word of the blessings kuz i knew i was not required obligated.
ending i looked to the rabbi that the young kid had pointed to and he was not there. he went at that time to inspect the dorm and punish anybody too lazy to get out of bed. knowing this time helped ernie and i enjoy many fun mornings when my room mates had left.
also before night inspection we would leave study early to be the first in the showers. his stated reason was so my shoulders would be clean since it hard to reach your own shoulders but i inderstood the real reason.
i saw that his male finger was always soft hanging tube even when he pressed it on my ribs. how? i was shorter than him, despite being grade 9,  so his hanging tube was at the level of my ribs. then he would imagine that my male finger was his and that our finger functioned as he slid his soapy hands along it until his watch beepd. then we separatey returned to bed for inspection that the lights were out and followed by the morning drain and return to bed for more pleasure.
these meetings continued almost every day for years. he never complained that the white male milk did not come out the way it was supposed to at our age. i would not reach physical maturity until almost age 16 years. seven years later than jew-book said the male milk is expected.
he was satisfied imagining that at least our finger inflated. also he introduced me to a Saturday frend.
so those were very pleasant mornings and evenings that helped me though the bad suffering days of hunger.
we did nt know that "modern medicine and nutrition" instruct must eat near the time of awkening. so we would all awake to blaring music at 7.15 to pray from 7.30 to 8.30 then after reading around ninety 90 pages and ten repeated, besides two days per week even more pages before eating plus delay kuz short 15 minute class before breakfast. finally at 9 we fed. i did not know that other dorms started class 8.30 hence fed at 8 ! we were not fed until 9. but had not known this yet. but the problem was, aron pointed to the milk containers and said when the meal time ends they will "consolidate" the remaining milk into one container. so the newer and older milk can mix. that made me terrified to ever pour myself milk unless from a sealed container. so i would eat dry flakes. i coulda ate hot porrij but i was scared not knowing the ingredients of that lumpy stuff.
 the bread was the cheapest possible bred and it tasted different from other bread. i had never tasted that sour taste before and bread often felt dry despite the plastic wrapping the loaf. so no bread kuz bad taste and no unidentified lumpy porrij and no milk in flakes. by ten oclock i was hungry again. i felt hungry all morning and no food unil late lunch at 1pm... "after all, a late breakfast justified" a late lunch.
at lunch i could see the pots could not be cleaned and were not clean. the pasta was oily shiny and each day i could barely eat any lunch. and the bread had a strange sour taste apparently a shop that could not sell its day old bread donated it to the skool. but it was different bread with a sour taste differed from the bread i ate until then.
hence so many more hours of hunger. the only thing that kept me at that suffering skool, with hours and hours of hunger until my one meal a day at dinner as above hot-dogs, was the intense pleasures in the dawns and nights. intense pleasure for a short time balanced the many long hours of hunger. so why did i not eat a snack? huh?
to be continued.

the card games "more" and "twenty".

1 the card game "more" and another
when i was young, i played a card game named "war" but each time the ace shown, the other player claimed that the ace was stronger or weaker, for their benefit. so there was no lasting rule. also the game could be very long time. so a DIFFERENT  game, similar but another game named "more" fixes those problems and has a different name for its own rules and different rules yet similar to that game so if you know that game it will be easy to learn this game named "more" and its rules.
2 "more" after preparing, as below, the card with more captures the other card.
preparation: REMOVE the picture cards  12 and jokers for game more.
the ace with one shape has only one shape so in this game, in contrast to other games where the ace is strong, but in this game the other numbers are all MORE than ace because it only has one shape.always. whether i show the ace or the other player.
mix the cards. give each of the two players twenty 20 cards. each rests the cards in a pile secret on the table so nobody can see.
rules: the game more has different name and different rules than similar games. the ace has one shape and always is worth one so other number are more than ace. the length of the game is one cycle of twenty cards. the exception is if two equal cards are shown as below.
each player shows the top secret card and they identify which card is MORE. the card more gets the other card for example: i show a two and the other player shows "a" with one shape so two has more shapes and i capture the "a" called ace with one shape. i  rest both cards in a second pile secretly not shown. ten is the most and captures any other card because it is MORE. unless two cards are equal for example i show ten and the other player shows ten.
then we each add TWO secret card to increase the risk. the THIRD card is shown because the game "more" is a different game with different rules than similar games. the shown cards are compared and the player showing the card that is MORE captures all 4 cards of the other player adding to own 4 shown.
exception: sometimes two equal cards are played at the end of the one cycle of twenty.
for example i show a two and the second player shows a two.  we should add two secret cards but sometimes only one card remains from the deal pile of twenty. so we each lay the one secret card on the equal cards and add the second from the top of the "pile of captured cards" the second is also secret as the rule above. third card shown whichever shown card has more captures all the cards in that set and the game ends because the deal pile of twenty is now empty. together count the captured cards so the one with "more cards" wins quickly. although opponents opposing, still this is only a game so not enemies.
sometimes the other player violates the rule. then the game ends and the one who did not violate the rule wins. do not play again with the rule violator, wait at least a year and as an adult he will probably ignore the rules too. and violate rules so separate from such people.
why dont you play with that person? because he ignores rules.
THE card game TWENTY.
another card game has its own name because different rules from similar games if you know blackjack then easy to learn this game but game "twenty" has different name  because  different rules.
also for this game remove the picture cards 12 and jokers so only numbers remain. from one "a" one shape to ten. and mix the cards.
each player gets two secret cards. only each player sees when holds.
they can choose to add a card to be NEARER to twenty, or not add for fear they will have more than twenty. the card with one shape is always worth one. if you get a card with picture then discard put aside not for this game.
POINTS
the player that gets total 20 precisely gets 2 points in the series if both total exactly 20 then both get 2 points in the tie. if both get same total, less than twenty, then each gets one point in series. if a player totals more than twenty or less than the other player, then the player with more points but less than 20 gets one point and the other players gets zer points meaning not even one.
for example i hold "a" with one shape and seven. i decide not to add. the other player holds two nines and decided to add to try to get exactly 20 for get two points. if adds the two, we each motion a wall. and show the secret cards. his total is twenty so he gets 2 points in the series and i get zero. meaning not even one. if he shows total 21 or more bad, too many total, so cards are cancelled and i get one point because his cancelled cards. if i show seven and nine total 16 and he shows two ets we each get one point in series. whichever player reaches ten points, first, wins the series. sometimes a player with nine and gets exactly twenty, is good luck, deserves more than ten points that is also winner with good luck.

the ENTRANCE exam

dear diary--the entrance exam. --in the month january of the start of the year 1987 I was age 11 years, my ma offered me a "choice" which high school to study at. i was in the seventh grade in that winter in january 1987. starting age 11, i could choose which school to go for eth grade and the following years called high school.
she offered me a list of four schools one was in illinois state. another in maryland state  a third in new york state and a fourth in ohio state.
i knew nothing about each school and askd, "tell me about each school." she said that they are all the same relijis schools so just pick one." not really any real choice.
i had not seen any of them nor met any of the students nor teachers. never seen the place for sleeping called dorm nor classrooms. how would i choose? and losing my fun weekend pleaure meetings with julee or atara described in "joy of bible" meetings seemed stupid.
i asked to visit each sckuul, so i could know which one felt good. ma said "they are all the same, like they study the same jewish books." as if the people teachers were all the same.
so i took the list of four names in alphabetical order and rewrote the list instead of the school name the name of the state: 1i, 2 m, 3 n, 4 o. then i did the famous "eenee meenee" which children do not know has 32 words and is not good for a list of four but i did not know that. we used this method on groups of three kids or two kids.
deciding to use the method eenee is not a smart way to choose any school unseen. and worse that decision gauranteed that i would choose the fourth school so as i counted eeenee meenee i ended on o. ohio.
that week i prepared for a long car trip from new york city to the state ohio for the entrance exam. i also prepared one "section of jewish rabbi arguments" for the exam. this seemd stupid becauese i was going to a SCHOOL that means the place has TEACHERS so the student is expected not to know.
if  knew then bad kuz the teacher would be teaching me stuff i already know. this differs from math when you need to passs exam of add before you can learn multiply which contains adding.
when i returned from skool in seventh grade my parents had already packed the car. the time was around 5:30 pm because my parents chose to BURDEN me with longer hours of study longer than the time they had studied each day in school and longer in seventh grade even than the common high school student grade 11 who leaves skool at 3pm on latest day and before 3 pm  on most days. but i had the burden of long hours and resent the EXTRA burden that my parents caused more time and more work than the common schools.
we drove for many hours from the east coast of the continent. the one with the long amazon river  in the same mass of the land which CONTIN-ues north to a narrower part and then widens to a wide part all one CONTIN-uing contin-ent of land mass.
after around five hours of driving around ten pm we reached a mid point in the state called pensylvania. my pa chose a cheap motel because the feul and motel would be cheaper than 3 plane tickets to fly to ohio. so we shared one motel room. as i lay in the dark room i thout about the two girls not named atara and julee back home.
ever since the JOYOUS meeting on the evening of  the festival "joy of bible" in year 1982 in autumn of 1982 when i had just started age 7 and started third grade skool year, in the diary story,
link but read later. not now please.
https://thinkforyourselfn8.blogspot.com/2019/10/joy-for-bible-day.html
we continue this story now.
i continued to secretly meet the girls on weekends wen four parents napped saturday afternoon.
or sent me to the bad "pirhay" meetings. instead of going with boy brats I went to the teen while her parents napped we had pleasure.
i continued to visit atara for pleasure as the older girl rocked on my male finger same as a rocking chair. we continued meeting from 1982 until 1987 because no risk of pregnany before a boy reaches age 13 so in 1987 i was still too young for that risk of causing teen pregnancy.
i realized that if i would study in that school in ohio i would be very far from the older lovers. i would not have those pleasant sensations.
despite the fact that the entrance exam was the SAME section that i studied in seventh grade school i decided i would  lie "I dont know for each question" causing me to return to my lovers. then peaceful that i would continue my pleasure meetings i dozed into sleep beside the two beds for the adults. however the entrance exam turned out even more exciting.
the following winter morning we ate the motel breakfast i ate a fried egg with hot toast and they ate... i did not look so dont know. we drove many more hours across pns. state and into ohio state until arriving at the school.
the rabbi was available when we arrived so i entered the dark classroom. the pale winter light of cloudy january slightly lit the dim room. so the rabbi did not switch on the electric light. the room was not cold as a heater machine worked blowing warm air beside the window.
the rabbi asked the first question "which section did you prepare" for the entrance exam. as my mouth shaped the words i had already prepared "i dont know" i realized, that those words, did not answer his question so i could not do my plan. so instead I said, when the time came for me to answer, "i prepared a section BUT..." so before telling him that it was the section in the rabbi book about finding an object such as a common simple gold ring when i know the owner is not yet aware that they lost it, i attacked the word prepare.
i replied "i prepared a section BUT if you know i prepared it, then what exactly are you testing?"
the rabbi ignored my question and repeated "which section did you prepare".
when it was my turn to talk and answer, i argued "the school will TEACH me any new rabbinic words, so what are you testing in this exam?" the rabbi responded "i am the one asking the questions in this entrance exam so tell me which section."
i altered my plan to fail the interview by saying "i dont know" and instead argued with the rabbi. i saw that he was bankrupt and  did not know himself the purpose of the exam.
he could not say that "you must know add  before learning multiply because contains add" because other subjects such jew religion differ from math so TEACHERS must teach stuff that the students don't know.
in several different arguments i complained that this was a school so I can only be accepted if i don't know hence needing a teacher kuz if I already know then I should get a diploma.
each question he asked, when it was my turn to speak, i repeated that idea because the scool will teach. he refused to answer my question so i repeated it each time it was my turn to speak. like"what is the point of this exam for a school that must TEACH students."
finaly the patient rabbi said "you are wasting my time" he left the room.
he coulda said that the exam was to see "if i could independently understand correctly the rabb book without a teacher" because the teacher would "add the commentaries" that we had not studied yet,  not teach the text itself. but he did not say that he was testing that ability.
not until the following year entrance exam. if woulda said that then then I woulda returned to my "I don't know plan" to stay near my lover but arguing was more exciting.
so i returned in 1987 to the building where my parents waited and they were very angry.
"we drove all this way and you failed your exam" they woulda hit me but police had already arrested them in the past for hitting me.
 we drove home in stony silence for the fruitless journey of many hours with no success at the entrance exam.
ONLY fruitless for them. i knew that i would continue one more year with my lover on the weekends. that is the real secret reason that i argued with the rabbi for the "8 eth grade entrance exam." delaying one more year until the following years entrance exam that I passed.
we met until the following year when she feared i was old enuf to cause pregnancy but honestly I was not physicly mature yet even entering ninth grade but at that time i answered the rabbis questions with relavant answers. then i said "you see i know the prepared section so what skill are you testing for?"
the rabbi said "i am testing for your ability to indepepndently understand the rabbi book" i replied if so, that cannot be tested on a section that somebody taught me.
the rabbi lafd nervously and said "open five pages ahead and start reading."
i started reading the section, beyond the section i had prepared. i translated the words to english and said the idea. the rabbi announced "I see that you can correctly understand" the rabbi book and that you are ready for our teachers to add different commentaries.
***this is very significant because of the rabbi deception.
so i was accepted into school and from then on whenever the rabbis would LIE that "my conclusion which challenged  the bad jew relijin was wrong" was because "you dont understand" i knew they were lying becuse the entrance exam is for that purpose.
the rabbi specified that the entrance exam tested to see that I did have the skill to correctly comprehend the ideas in rabbi books.
any student accepted must know that the rabbi  deception to "attack" the student with failure to understand,  instead of informing the "data ignorant" is lying. they were only accepted because they were ABLE to correctly understand the book and instead of talking about the evidence in the text they try to attack the student. which is bad because the rabbi ignore the evidence. and also mean bad insult.
knowing this, i ask: such deception does not deserve the death penalty and yet how can such people be stopped without a death penalty?"
the tragedy of the Nazi differs from the mass murder of jews. instead "not enough bad jews were stopped by death." the end.