masturbation for the religious

far from sin

rabbinoam כללי 25 בדצמבר 2019 דקה אחת

teenagers MUST be informed

the number of chromosomes in male seed is only half of the number "needed" to build a human baby

obviously when the lady egg goes out, the lady need not "scold" herself for the sin of murdering a baby because alone that egg is not yet a human it is same as plant-life that vegans eat... and the same number in male seed is not truly "seed"  because alone it will never become a human without the chromosomes in the lady

we dont expect the ancient simple minds to know about chromosomes so when they said "sin to squeeze out male seed" they were wrong because today we know about chromosomes and the difference that seeds of fruit can be planted only because already grew in fruit.  in

in contrast the male baby oil is not seed and cannot be a baby human hence very far from a sin to spill it far from "murder=as some teens are misled" far from any sin because it is the same as killing…a  plant with less chromosomes than a human

dear diary, dilation day

dilating
dear diary age 16
intro:
recently i heard a woman mention that her ovulation is painful. apparently the egg pushes open a tube and she can feel it.
that reminded me of when i felt my tube dilation which people told me is "impossible. people cant feel their inside." truth is that a new pressure can be felt.... monthly.
so here is my diary entry from age 16
on a cold winter morning like any other i awoke earlier than the skool skedule. my alarm beapd at 7:15 and my rom mates moaned. i quickly switched it off. and rushed to drain the waste water that kidneys had filterd. i jogged along the hallway with faith that sin to delay draining waste. as written in jewish talmud.
i arrived first before anyone and the waste poured out into the drain in the wall. aah. that felt a relief. not exaactly pleasure but relief.
i washed my hands for cleanliness and for ceremony. i jogged back to bed. and hid under the blanket. then the music blared to wake all the students for the skool skedule that started every day with reading many pages of prayers. one room mate said "get outa bed lazy" and i said "your lazy i was up before you". he repeated his argument so i ignored him. the two badgered me together that i must dress... why? were they jealous that i had drained before them? that give me an idea "you must drain your urine without delay". they knew i was right and ran along the corridor to stand in line... ninety 90 brats and only 3 drains... better to drain into the snow.
finally the music stopped and as usual my visitor came. his cold hand brushed my cheek. as usual i raised the blanket and he climbed up into the bed and we warmed each other on the cold morning. his hand found my hodo and slid inside the convenient slit for eaasy drainage. he wrapped his hand around the hodo male finger and pressed. as usual i whisperd that feels nice.  as the pressure of inflating grew the pressure grew and that felt nice. my hand went to his robe. as usual his male finger was a soft long tube. this time his other hand brushed away my hand, he whispered "way too cold". but his cold hands added to my pleasure. i told him he could warm his second hand on the male bag. he turnd on his side and as his hand touched it i jumpd... he said sorry, you said. i said try again. the colness felt good. we lay like that for a while until his hands were warm. then his watch beepd and we went to pretend we were reading prayers.
then a short class. the rabbi read and explained a few phrases from book jeremia. then we went to the brekfast hall.
as usual dry flakes. i coulda ate HOT but i was scared of that unidentifiable mush called porridge. what was inside? how much butter sugar and who knows what else?
i rememberd that coffee tasted bitter. no hot coffee. the last time i tried to drink hot water to warm up it had a non-water taste. gross. so dry flakes again.
then back thru the snow to study. this semester too, the other students refused to be my study partner. so i listend to a recording of the rabbis lesson. in a classroom.
s usual sitting alone in the classroom my male finger inflated same as every day without any thoughts of ess ee eks nor lady. but today something felt different. i felt like TWO sides of a tube deep in the inner center core of my lower thorax were pushed apart like di-lating. the pressure of the inflating male finger was more intense than usual. the pressure pushing out... i knew the blood was pushing the skin to stretch ike inflating a balloon... was much more than usual. i had to press back... my hand rushed to press the skin back... as my mind reminded me "dont even touch, sin to squeeze out male milk, sin to even touch"  but i had no control. my hand grabbed the bulge and squeezed. the pressure subsuded and conciojusness returned. my hand jumped away. i switched off teh recorder and walked around the skool campus in the snow. another  brat saw me and said "lets skip class".
great. we went to the building dormitory and he showed me a room that had no sheets on the beds. he askd me if i ever heard the phrase "go fuk yourself". i said no but that it seemd to me imppossible. he burst out laffing. he started telling me the story that his parents hit him all the time over stupid mistakes. i told him "you did not hit anyne hence you dont deserv to get hit" he waved his hand, signaling me not to interrupt and talked about his violent parents.
as i heard his story the tubes inside around six centimeters below the skin di-lated and separated.
the blood rushed again to my male finger and i stopped hearing his words. i lost control of my hands and they rushed to squeeze back the ressure of the inflating male finger. as the pressure balance i realized that he saw me squeezing my pants and jumped my hand aside. he continued to talk about his parents not commenting that he saw me squeeze the privat male finger. but soon the pressure became so great i could not keep my hands away a started gasping i struggled for control... i cant do this in front of him while he is watching.
finally i could struggle no more and my hands squeezed my male finger again despite knowing he saw. i was gasping for air in the internal struggle.
the boy same age as me. walked to the bed where i sat with my back leaning on the wall.
he said "this looks like your frst time". i could not speak as i struggled for control of my hands but had no control. "he smiled and said "dont fight it. the sperm will come on no matter what". now i did not know yet that the number of chromosomes in male sperm is far from the amount in a healthy human and that the male seed alone is not a seedd to grow the baby. but he was correct that the male seed does drip out of healthy males at night so no point in struggling. i stopped struggling and simply squeezd.
"jeez you do it wrong". i was just obeying instinct but he had more yearrs of experience. he said he would bring a towel and left the room. i knew that until now even when i rubbed no male milk exited so no need for a towel. i was too dry inside. or... was that the milk pushing through the newly dilated tubes? probably. i continued the counter pressure until he brought the towel. he spread it over my pants and said "heres what you do" i obeyed so the towel coverd my privates and the towel was wrapped over and under the male finger between the finger and the pants then i gripped the towel and rubbed along the inflated male finger. the towel felt like sand paper. i could only squeeze. this prompted the boy not named jimmy to protest "just rub".
i did not know what to say. "you cant try to be super holy like that because every day your body bulds more sperm." he said exasperated. he reached his hand into the fold of the towel and gripped the hodo. that was less pleasure than the kid i felt comfy with, for several years in the morning.
jimmy jumped his hand away and said "you have something very wrong with your been-iss. your skin is stretched too tight all around. i better get some hand lotion."
now i felt the male milk rising up the tube of the male finger itself i barely gasped out "already finished" as i pulled on the finger and for the first time in my life thick white porridge very hot poured into the towel like a stream of porridge. yes that was the secret ingredient in the bekfast porridge... i imagined. at first the stream was just a long hot stream like urine but after a short time pulses of milk came out into the towel. the towel did not hold enough and the white stained my black pants.
that was gross. and wait... the orgasm is sposed to be the most intense pleasure. but at no moment did i feel any pleasure. just a hot stream of porridge.
at least i knew to use hand cream to make the skin stretchy. i didd not know that only circumcised males need cream and lubricant for intercourse coitus. i was not even aware of the consquences and harms of circumcision losing skin. how could someone "agree" before knowing the options and consequences.
the relijis interpretation not to cut or to cut.
that evening i met my partner for the usual early shower. i warned him that i started moving sperm. "cool" he responded in excited tone. "its about time and i wanna watch". but something was wrong again. as he spread soap along the male finger same as usual the feeling was not pleasure but like sliding along a senseless rock. he made a ring with his finger and tugged at the end of the male finger. but the usual pleasure was gone too. i suggested "instead of a ring just press the sides. i pressed the sides of his soft tube that hang down "see like this". so he obeyed and slid along the sides like stripes. after a short time the male finger went soft like his. the teen not named aron cussed "i wanted to see". he left the shower and the next morning did not visit me as usual. for a week he was mad so angry that he did not visit. i didnot know the time of inspection so after waiting for him to vist in the morning i went to pray and saw he was already in the prayer place. i was sad that i made him angry but i had no control.
but HEAVEN provided the alternative.
that saturday around 4 days after the first milking my male finger stopped its "strike" of softness. the temptation was so strong that i could not even read the study book.
so i left the building and left the college campus. i wondered around the snowy park until i saw two girls with long hair playing in the snow.
the older girl called to me hey you are cute... as written in another diary entry.
the girls led me to their home where i drank hot cocoa and was invited to come sunday morning when her lil sister would be at skool and her parents at their jobs she taught me about condooms and other useful stuff. we had pleasant visits around twice a week for many years.
also the teen named aron stopped being angry at me and we continued our visits dawn and night. and he finally got to see the fountain of milk. many times. the meeting with the young lady became focussed only on her urge for coitus. she would ddrink wine and i woul drink the "hard" stuff one cup cola with one cup rum. it did not "inhibit" anything at our age. that pleasant relationship started precisely the week i needed it and continued for a couple years until she went to college. never from the back exit... that can only be cleaned outside not inside.
one more cool fact. certain weeks there was an additional warmth that addd pleasure i realized that the day before the blood drips out the inside of a lady is extra warm and i requested her to keep track and tell me which day was the day before the pattern so i could enjoy that extra pleasure of warmth each month.
so who would i tell such a story to? o whom? not my parents... nor hers gasp. they would strangle me despite her consent... so i hide her naame and tell the story to my diary.

new cycle with hebrew calendar

this year the date 21 december differs from usual. instead, the first measurably longer daylight time is december 22 so that means START of the new year, for jewish calendar as i will explain. it is measurable therefore hence it is REAL. the dark-time length is varied this year and finding the longest night is more difficult this year than other years so insted we measure the increase in added daylight as the BIRTH of the new cycle adding light. so the first month must begin now on december 22 not yesterday the "so-called-solstice", and not in the month called january simply that jew should be the same as Christian or janus god, nor rabbi changes as explained below but instead, based on reality of nature. as explained below following
so i "upgrade" and fix improve the hebrew-bablon calendar not only by switching out the babylon idol names for jewish names such as "ruben" the first jewish tribe, but also with authority granted in writing from the jewish relijis skool i alo upgrade and fix the "start" of the jewish year and month, from the lunar, bad and "hard to see start" of months and based inconsistently in "some or another moon birth near autumn," to this REALITY start point based not on any word "21 december" nor end of any previous lunar-month-on-paper but established on the foundation of real natural reality the added light today, measurably more, this is the first month named ruben and first day of ruben. basing on the natural reality of added light in a measurable amount. this day the day of added light, in nature, that they call december 22 and we use that number for business and contracts, starts the cycle, the first day of month ruben the first hebrew month named for the first hebrew tribe in book exodus admittedly a bad book but the list of "names" is there.
this swaps the previous "change" so not "jew-new year rosh-hashana" nor any babylon idol name nor the day after the end of any babylon lunar month but based on the natural reality of added light is the birth of the new cycle adding light now until summer followed by the year ending as the time of lite shortens until next winter.
any jew that respects the jew tradition should realize that the lunar was not only "not traditinal" nor original jew but babylon and not jewish until the exile that ezekiel protested and that change recorded in book ezra should not be accepted by traditional jews but instead more the emphasis on respect of jewish tradition must cause them to prefer the jewish name ruben which starts now based on natural reality as above instead of babylon names of babylon culture. any jew that refuses the jewish name ruben and prefers the babylon is insulting the jew tradition and must re-apply for citizenship in jewish nation through the few real jews who prefer the name ruben.
now is season winter as the length od light-time increases throughout winter until the lengths of day and night are equal at end of winter.

clair claus conclusion

conclusion  
3 after clair left skool, in the morning she kew that she was missing classes and lessons. inside she felt bad and guilty. she wished that she could be a true rebel and "not even care" but she did not deny that she felt guilty for missing lessons. still she acted in rebellion and decided that her vacation would be longer from today until end of january. only at end of february she would return to school because this was simply vacation.if she planned to retur  to school that proved she was only vacationing. this excuse did not change the feeling of guilt that she felt.
the first thing a rebel does is break the rules. she thought of the rules that everybody emphasized. no beer until age 18.that would be the first rule she wuld break as a rebel. so she looked around for a shop. she saw many shops for clohing but nonefor snax. she kept walking.
as she continued walking she reached the street interections. clir was having good luck that each time she came to the edj of street the lites told her green go and cross safely because the cars had the symbol red stop. if she would be told to stop she would do same as she had done before. make the crossing safe by using her illusion that car saw a red light-ball  to stop and she already crossed when red told her to stop.
clair continued walking. finally she saw a shop that sold news-paper. she asked the owner for a beer. the owner said "i dont want to sell to you". clair replied "certainly you want to sell each sale you make a profit" man: beer has alcohol and i dont want to break the law. clair: be rebellious like me and violate the law. but the man only laffed.
clair saw the warning on cig-arret. ugh. that is not the way to rebel to insert smoke inside her body and risk future illness. the word cigaret has the letter c the same as the sound in names "cima" and cicilia or cecilia. clair noticed that all the se words have "i or e" near the c like word city. but other letters cab cozy and cut have sound k. she realized that the name simon could have "ci" same as city so cimon. she would name her son cimon. that would be a good rebellion and logical too. no "common names" such as bob or ben or barry.
now that clair decided that the name would be a rebellion she was satisfied with her rebellion and decided to eat lunch early.
the time was barely ten am. not the time for eating. wrong for brekfast nor lunch, but clair had rebelled already by not eating brekfast and now felt appetite. she reached her hand toward her bag and realized it was not with her but in her skool locker. she decided to use illusion.
clair hurried to the fancy restarant nearby. she could not move herself into the building because "no such thing as magic" meaning no magic exists. so she walkd to the edj f the street saw the light showing green and crossed to the restaurant. she tried to make an illusion to go through the door but the dor was real and magic is not real.
clair did the next  best thing possible. she opened the glass door and moved her finger up and side. the door appeard closed then she announced "i wish i could enter" and as people turned to her shout she walkeed into the restaurant that appeard to have a closed door... clair smiled at her great rebellion against doors.
she walked to the line of people waiting for ordering.  clair did not want to wait she she waved her finger and the lady working the cash machine stopped seeing the line of people. clair walked alongside the line and said "i want a ham and jeez samwij". the lady named "buffi" as shown on her name tag, named buffi booker, turned to the only customer that she could see. buffi replied "yes dear. that will be one dollar". clair saw that beside her a man named pete pelton, or was name pawl pelton? stood surprised and frustrated that buffi ignored him as he offered the money.  clair saw her opportunity she was lucky enuf that the man held one paper a  twenty dollar bill. so clair waved her finger so it appeared like a one dollar bill  and as the man handed it to buffi the paper appeared, only the paper so  buffi took the one dollar bill. printed the paper receipt and handed it to clair with the samwij. clair freed the illusion and buffi saw the man. he said please give me the "change" buffi looked at the twenty in her hand and shrugged and gave the man the money between twenty and the price of his meal because she truly held the bill that said twenty 20.
clair sat at a table. she realized that the word change had a g that sounded same as j. but the word "gag" did not sound like j. she realized that e with cor g change the sound. so the name jorj can be with "ge" spelled georj. or for girl georja same sounde as gentle. but city had i and gift also had i yet did not sound like j. oof i am thinking about useless grammar when i need to rebel.
she enjoyed her ham and jeez samwij.
where can she go next? she wanted to go to the cinema. but had no money. so she walked out the door of the restaurant and made illusion that nobody can see her. then she snapped her fingers and a bird obeyed her and carried her almost weightless invisible body to the cinema. she enterd because nobody saw her. she chose the video that she wanted to see a comedy with romance. she walked past the man named "adan" who was needded to check that nobody entered to see for free without ticket payment but poor adan axel did not see her. she saw the story of the video. the emotions of the lady in the story reminded her of her feelings toward burt.
meanwhile as clair watched the video burt was at skool.
he noticed that clair had left the rom and not returned. he felt that she was missing and tearned for her to return so he could see her pretty blue eyes.
he was also bored by skool but for a different reason. burt loved reading and he read many books and knew almost everything that the teachers would say.
while clair was at the video izsabel claus prepared the home for her ma visit. izsabel waved her finger so all the stains and dust was not visible. there. now her mom named iva ishiguro would not see any stains. iva was now a widow because her husband had died. they were never married but iva had been tempted by the mans appearance. so they "made" a baby without wedding nor marriage. sadly he died of lung-cancer soon after their dawter izsabbel was born. in fact santas wife was named izsabbel ishiguro until her wedding to santa when her name must be changed to his name because they are married in one Family izsabel claus.
before iza was ready iva enterd. her eyes were shaped like japanese eyes.she complaind that the room was very dusty and clutterd. iza challenjd her to chek with her finger. so santas criticizing ma-in-law wiped her finger on the top edj of a picture. a place nobody sees nor thinks to clean. she looked at her finger and said "aha" but saw no dust because of iza illusion. iva changed the subject and announced that she had changed her family name to "isgar"  santa laffd "hohoho and said "do you think that hides you? everybody can see you are japanese." iza commented i like that name i will be iza isgar claus.
santa and his wife iza and her mom iva isgar went to the cinema. they also chose a romantic comedy. clair saw them entering late. suddenly the video stopped and the lites switched on.  a man named bif  announced that he was checking tickets. clair whispered to the girl beside her "what is your name" she answered "ava" and turned to see who had asked and clair felt relieved that ava showed a look of surprise that nobody was sitting beside her.
bif came to the isgars and said "please show your ticket" they did not have any because izsabel had used illusion to enter. but her peower was already weak from old age and bif saw her. clair realized that it was wrong to get a service without paying the same as everybody else. she decided she would end her rebellion and return to school.
but only at the end of the video and she woud still rebel by name her son cimon with c.
bif leed santa and his ladies connected by marriage out where they would pay a penalty larger than the price of a ticket and despite paying the penalty could not see the video.
clair enjoyed the video to the end and returned to skool.
when burt passed her and did not notice her she realized that she had not ended her ilusion and burt could not see her. she released the illusion and called "hey burt" he turned and said "clair you are back i missed you". clair did not know what to say. as they stood silently in the hall burt leaned foward and shaped his lips like a kiss. clair leaned forward so her cheek touched his lips and they kissed. she felt enchanted when he kissed her. they ate lunch outside of the skool. they went to the same samwij shop where she ha eaten the ham and jeez. burt ordered a soup with vejdables and clair orderd the fish. as he paid clair made the one dollar bill from her own bag invisible and added it to the pile of paper money that burt gave for the food. she had returned the money that she was supposed to pay and decided that she would never fool people about money again . as the lady buffi lay the twenty with the other twenties the one went with it. later she would see the paper was a one not a twenty.
they ate lunch together not knowing what to say. but looking in each others eyes they felt that they did not need to say anything.
later clair and burt had the most fun chrismas ever in their lives simply sitting near each other. they had a very merry crismas.
the end.

clair claus, improved and next chapter

illusion stop lights and skool

1 meet clair claus a rebellious teen
The date was december 20, last year [one year before the time you are reading this story.]
Clair felt that she could not wait for the winter vacation. she hated skool. can you relate to that feeling? she wished that winter vacation would be the entire months december and january. she also hated that already at 4 after noon, the time she ended her 11-grade-studies, everything outside the building felt dark as the sun was nearing the horizon. she wished she could enjoy the "golden afternoon" a phrase in a song that she heard from disney.
clair was laying in her bed at ten pm, which was shown on her clok: 22:00. she felt tired anyway. her parents santa and izsabbel claus, nagged her that she needed to listen at skool.
she must sleep early and could not enjoy the nite kuz then she would be drowsy at skool. the "price" of that fun would be "not paying her credit card" at all. not even the fifty dollars they agreed to pay for each month. but only if she slept at ten pm. besides ahe felt tired anyway and she hated that  the teachers would notice and say comments at her.
as she lay on her soft mattress and soft sheet, she hugged her thick fluffy winter quilt. it was filled with bird feathers that kept the birds warm and seemed logical to use to keep herself warm.
her ma  named izsabbel would have annoyed her if she had not done her home assignments. that night she needed to practice the math called dividing fractions. like when was that ever useful in life?? at least if i double a recipe: half cup flour, i can use math to know one cup, but this?? who ever halved a recipe? you just made it and saved whatever was not eaten, if too much.
she hated numbers in general and math was the worst subject from all the bad subjects at skool. at least in "lit" they had stories, but even then, the stupid skool always chose the boring stories. skool emphasized fruitless grammar. who cared? as long as we understand the story. and worse was science and math that had no story at all !! her thoughts wanderd from complaining about annoying skool... to one of the boys in her class room. he was in the same grade for mrs. hepburn lesson of science- physics, which by the way is almost entirely... more boring mathematics and equations. he sat far from her near the window.
in classes, clair always tried to find the chair nearest to the door. even at the "dreadful cost" of being in the front row near the teachers, ugh. she knew the name of the cute boy.  his name: burt. yes every day at the time of attendance the teachers would say that name "burt butterell". burt would rais a hand. soon, just hearing his name made her heart flutter. he was so so hot! she loved his dark hair. even from afar. she loved from near his choclat-brown eyes under that unique long uni-brow. his nose seemed too small for his face. the nostrils were like slits and never like that gross teen named brian, that had hairs dangling from his nose. not burt. burt always appeard with combed hair and as if no hair grew in his lovely nose.
she did not mind that burt had those braces wires in his mouth that zig and zag from oddly spaced teeth. some teeth extended lower than others or were "more inside" behind the curved-arch-bow of the teeth. that just proved that he cared enuf to make his teeth in a row.
clair turned her hed to look at the pale green numbers on her digit clock. that clok was a gift from her frend ava. on her fifteenth birthday she had invited som frends, including the nerd liam, to a small party. ava and barrbra each brought their rhyming boyfrends: ayden and braiden.  however liam, charlet clive and caden did not come, despite her personally handing them the decorated invitations. she had not invited gross brian the hairy nose. worst of all her burt had not come. when she had handed him the colorful invitation, he had been polite. "i am sorry that i cant come kuz i have..." she had not even heard his words... lost in those dreamy choclat eyes. you know what that means.
at the party each one gave her a small present. she loved ava's present the most. this pink clock with pale green numbers. that showed the time 22:22 now.
clair thought 'oh why? when i think of that clock my mind goes to burt. he was not even at the party.' she knew that she must sleep or else the teachers would nag her for being drowsy as if she had negligently not slept, . but her mind kept returning to burt. she wrote a text message: "hey burt now is all the same numbers 22:22 cool?" and tapd the screen on the place where the word "send" was seen.
too late she realized, he would think that was not special, because every day also had 11:11, and twice. and worse !!  what if his clock showed "10:22" he would think she was a freak. she wanted him to like her and at least notice her. she thought oh why when i need to sleep burt keeps me awake in my memories.
burt always sat  by the window in mrs. hepburn class. clair's eyes were constantly jumping from the clok with the black hands that barely moved... to that window where burt sat. burt was always looking at the teacher as she talked. burt almost always wore jeans. once she was near enuf to see the symbol. it was not levi nor wranggler but some other symbol that she did not know.
his shirt was almost always one color, differing each day but always with a soft collar folded around his smooth neck. the style of shirt had only 2 or 3 buttons near the neck. she wonderd why he liked that style? but they looked great on him. and each day he chose different color shirts with those pale blue jeans and black-labor shoes.
'no.no!' she thought as she pressed her eyelids together... she must sleep. the teachers would  nag her again for being drowsy in class. but she could not stop thinking about burt sitting beside the window... facing the teacher... finally burt was talking to her and noticing her... a great dream... interrupted by "beep beep beep" yikes! morning already.
another skool day... the windows were dark from clouds on this FIRSt day of winter. the night had been the longest of any other nights but she felt as tired as if she had not slept. tireder than when she had started sleeping... and she heard rain. she jumped from her bed and switched off the beeping before her mom "queen isabella" would shout at her... and another day began...
to be continued... chapter 2 at skool and the rebellion.
2 the rebel
clair had already switched off the beeping clok. she hurried across her small room to her personal shower room. she emptied her waste water from her body. then pushed the handle down so water sloshed down pushing all the bad water away. away from her room to... who knows where. she wanted to shower but then ma would complain "your hair is wet clair, you cant go out in the winter with wet hair. i dont want you to get sick and miss school" today she felt like she should get sick... then she could stay home from gross skool. but feeling sick was bad too.
clair stood by her mirror in the shower room and brushed her blond hair. she wanted to impress burt. she hated her blu eyes because that color was not nice on the eggshell white eyes. instead she could have green or better yet brown eyes or best those choclat brown eyes like burt. that was a good contrast on white eyes.
she liked her blond hair but her eyebrows were barely visible kuz also blond. clair pushed some mustard colord powder along her eyebrows so she would have eyebrows.
under her eyes were a few pale brown freckles that contrasted her milky-pink skin. that was pretty... same as burts eyes.
clair washed her hands in the cold chilly water and rubbed her hands together under the stream of water to make her hands clean. she dried her hands on the long soft green-teal towel. she walked to her closet and there she yanked off her long gown of pyjama. she quickly yanked down her pyjama pants. and was just about to choose her skirt... when her door flew open.
clair spun to see her ma at the doorway and blurted out "you are rude ma. you must knock" at the same time ma isabell claus shouted "cover yourself! is this a brothel for hores?" clair repeated in a calm voice "you need to knock". ma raised her screaming voice "dont you shout back at me"... and clair knew she had pressed her mom's hypocrite button. ma was at fault this time and must be feeling angry that clair had noticed.
instead of her skirts, clair grabbed a pale blu blouse. pulled the hanger from the closet and turned it. the ruffles in the front looked nice. burt would notice her.
as she pulled the blouse over her head, ma complaind again, "your legs are bare i can see your entire back and legs". usualy clair woulda replied "sorry ma" but this time... clair rebelled saying "shut your... eyes... and ... mouth too."
instead of the skirt she decided to wear jeans, but before taking them said to her shocked ma, "and if i go to skool, only like this that is fine the same as at the beach."
mom stammered... and finally managed to say "well i never" and left the room. she shouda left when she saw that clair had left bed.
ma walked to parent room and bellowed at pa, "clair is awake. santa claus replied "you gotta trust her, she is a good kid"... but clair was too far away to hear his kind words.
to be continued.
clair grabbed her coat and left the house without eating brekfast. she did not feel hungry anyway. she was worried burt would think she was fat like her dad santa.
she walkd along the path from the door to the sidewalk. she turned left toward skool. and reached the light. the cars moved by her and the light shown red telling her "stop". she felt like stopping her trip to skool. but feared the price of her credit card. she wanted to buy new things each month. she did not want to wait just standing in the cold.
CLAIR swirled her finger in a small circle 3 times and then flicked her finger toward the set of 3 lites. a shiny red ball covered the dark top lite... and dark balls covered the other two. the drivers could not see the green light telling them "go" because of her illusion. they stopped kuz they saw the red light and clair safely crossed the street.
a few more paces along the pavement and beside the frozen grass, was the path to the skool. she again had doubt if she should enter skool? but she wanted to see burt and for burt to see her. that she wanted. not any person telling her to go to skool or telling what they wanted.
she enterd the class room for first class.
the teacher was not there. burt approached her and offered her half of his egg samwij. she wanted to thank him but feared she would say the worng thing. she felt like her lungs were frozen in fear. and stammered... finally she nodded and ran to her desk near the door. she shoved the samwij down her throat hardly chewing and barely tasting the kejjup and cheese.
the teacher mrs. bek,bel bek enterd and checked the attendadance.
she said the list of names: "caden, cal, cedrik, clive, cody, connor, cy" each boy responded here in contrast to burt who had simply raised his hand silently. then girls: "cady" clair wished that her name was "cady"  but she blamed her parents for choosing an ugly name. like clair, air, ugh. the list continued... caryl, charlet, christell, [which sounds like crystal so double meaning]... and before "clair", the teacher said "kyma" and a girl protested "not kyma". bek tried again "keema". the girl spelled "c-i-m-a like city so seema". the teacher repeated cima, adding "yep  like cilia and city and cent". next bek said clair and clair replied "not here". the teacher ignored her words as if she had said here and continued the list: cora then d etc.
a ma and dawter enterd the classroom. ma said "sorry we are late we met with the principal who sent us here. meet bia." the teacher wrote the name and bia went silently to sit at the empty desk... besde burt. clair glared at bia's fashion skirt and simple shirt and felt dager that the new girl would be near her burt. worse bia said "hi" to burt.
she shoulda sat near burt... but by the dor was better.
in fact she would leave now ! as the teacher read more names, clair left the room and walked along the corridor.
she expected the monitor ranger to stop her but saw none.
clair left the skool. her vacation had begun early.to be continued.

name list improved

help list
john jordan, but mike millikin or mike muller?
PERSONAL note: charlot like "harlot" must fix and harper 21 was harping.
from a, boy and girl
A-Boy=b adan ayden, allan, andre, angelo.
A=a+g=Girl, *ava, adrian, alexa, amelia, ann, aria.
bb barry, ben, bif, bob, braiden, burt,,.
bg baily, barrbra, [barbaric and barb but bra good], bel, bia, bonita, buffi.
cb caden, cal, cedrik, clive, cody, connor, cory, cy
cg cady, caryn,, caryl, charlet, cima, clair, christell, cora.
db daryl, dave, deen, dennis, don, dustin.
dg dee,, denise, dynna, donna, dorothy, 
eb ed, enriq, ethan*, erik,, eugene, evan.
eg edith, emma*, emily*, evlyn, elvia.
fb felleip, fil, fergus, franz, fred, forestt.
fg fabbia, fay, felma, fran, freeda.
gb gary, gerard, georj, gilligan, glenn, guy.
gg gail, geena, gemma, georja, grace.
hb hal, harold, henry, hiro, howard, huburt.
hg haily, hannah, helin, hether, holly.
ib ian, ino, ira, isac, ivo.
ig ileen, irene, iva, ina, izabbel
jb jaxon, jayden, jermy, jim, jon, jorj, julian.
jg jane, jakky, jemma, jo, joanna, julee.
kb kal, kevvin, keith, kriss, kory, kody, kurt, kyl.
kg kali,, kaylee, kloee, kelli, kika, kim, kora.
lb landon, lee, liam*, logan, luis.
lg layla, lesli, lily, lois, lori, lucy, lyle,.
mb martin, mason*, micky,  mike*, murry.
mg mandy, mkenzy, meryl, mia*, mishel, molly.
nb nathan, neil, nelson, nicolas, normin.
ng nancy, nelly, nicole, nomi, nora, nuria.
ob odis,, otis, owen, oliver, olivier.
og oana,,  odetta, olivia*, oria.
pb pascal, perry, phil, pawl, pete.
pg paisley, pamla, paula, peggy, polly, prissilla.
qb qal=kal=cal, qevvin+quan, qeith, qriss, qory, qody, qurt, qyl.
qg qali,, qaylee, qloee, qelli, qika, qim, qora.
rb raphal,, raymond, richard, riko,, rowhan, ron, ryan.
rg raijl, renei, riley, rosa, roxan.
sb saja, sebastian, shawn, sid, stanly, steve.
sg sally, sahndra, skarlett, serafa, sofia*, stella.
tb ted, tim, tod, toby, tristan, tyler.
tg tahnya, tammy, teina, thora, trisha.
u?
vb val, vidal, vinss, vladimir
vg vandana,, viki, vladia,
wb wally, wawrin, wayn, william, wyatt.
wg willow,
yb ?
yg yoko
zb zabbi, zxavier
zg zoe/y,
FAM
v a>r w
 allen+abbi, appel, atkins, ambrose+amelia*11, angel+anna, ash, axelrod.
basham, bek, birmingham, brennan+braidin, booker, butterell
cassal, chesse+charley, cleg+clive, cobb, colwell, cusack, 
davis, depp,  dion, dowdall, duguid, durkin.
ebsen, elman, ennis+enriq, emyrs, evans.
fay, fisher, fox, foy,, franzl, fulton,
garrett, genzel, gilliver, gladstein, gould, grant-grover gunderson.
haddity, heasman, hepburn, hill, hoegarty, hoog, hopwood+holly, hudson.
ingman, ireland, isgar, ishiguro,  iyer
janes, jamrok+jake, jekyl+jeremy, jordan, jurow, 
kalindjian+kathy, keen, kelloway, king+kim, kovacs, kunszt.
kelly keen but kelly kelloway seems too repeated
ladd, lane, lennon, lipniki, lobb+lori, lucken.
mather, mendez, milliken,  moyer, muller.
naze, neal, nevvin, noble, nuwirth.
oates, obst, oke+owen, ortiz, osgood, ott.
parisse, pasquin, pelton+paul, peerss, potter, puhm. pedro pelton or pedro peerss.
quan, queeno, quinn, quku qureshi
reed, rhys, richards, roter, rooney, ruben.
saadon, shaw+sharon, singer, sobel+shawn, strus, sullivan.
tarnawsky, tissier, thorby-theo, tracy, tottman, trudel, turturici.
udeji, ulmer, unger, urda, utley.
vath, verde+val, villanueva, vito, vollmer, vullo, vyas
walsh, weston, wheeler, wilkins, wite+william+woods, wyatt.
xao+xavier, xoan, xu, xythalsi
yacono, yerina, yolevsky+yoko, yung, yunioshi.
zan+zxavier, zayas+zabbi, zek, zobel, zuber, zwik.

solution for names

sometimes people think of a story but cant think of any name or any good name
or think of a name but cant pair it with similar letter for example mike muller or mike miller
so tthis lst will provide options to attach a name from the personal name list to the family name.

לפעמים מי שכותב לא מצליח לחשוב על שם ואז מפסידים כי את הסיפור לא טרחו לספר רק כי חששו שלא מצאו שם יפה והה רשימה לעזור לסופרים לבחור שם בכלל ושם של זוג בפרט. היינו לחבר שם פרטי עם שם משפחה לפי האות הראשונה ולפעמים אם רוצים יותר אותיות לדוגמה 

MIKE MULLER 

MIKE MILLER

 והנה רשימה מאותיות עד טי T יש עוד קצת להשלים אבל הרשימה כמעט שלימה. אז תהנו ולא להעתיק את הרשימה חלילה. רק אתם תלקטו ותבחרו לצרף שמות מרשימת הפרטי לבחירת לכם מרשימת שמות משפחה.

andy anderson--repeats but two skill, others need help list
john jordan

PERSONAL 9->49 v i cant stand charlot like "harlot" and harper 21 was harping.
a-e f?
A-Boy=b adan ayden, allan, andre, angelo.
A=a+g=Girl, *ava, adrian, alexa, amelia, anna, aria.
bb barry, ben, bif, bob, braiden, burt
bg baily, barrbra, [barbaric and barb but bra good], bel, bia, buffi.
cb caden, cal, cedrik, clive, cody, connor, cy
cg cady, caryl, charlet, cima, clair, christell, cora,
db daryl, dave, deen, dennis, don.
dg deena, denise, dynna, donna, dorothy, 
eb ed, ethan*, eric, eugene, evan.
eg edith, emma*, emily*, evelyn, elvia,
fb fil, finn, fergus, franz, fred.
fg fay, fran,
gb gary, georj,
gg grace, geena, gemma, georjina,
hb hal, henry, howard, huburt
hg haily, hannah, helin,
ib ian, ivo,
ig irene, iva,
jb jaxon,  jayden, jermy, jim, jon, jorj, julian,
jg jane, jennifer, jemma, joanna, julee,
kb kevvin, kirt,
kg kathy, kaylee, kloe, keeli,
lb landon , lee, liam*, logan, luis,
lg layla, lesli, lily, lois, lucy,
mb mason*, micky,  mike*
mg madilyn, mackenzy, meryl, mia*, molly,
nb neil, nicolas, 
ng nataly, nelly, nicole, nora, nuria.
ob owen, oliver,
og olivia*,
pb pat, phil, paul,
pg paisley, pamla, penny, polly
rb raphal, richard, rowhan, ron, ryan,
rg renei, riley, rosa,
sb saja, sebastian, shawn, sid, stanly, steve.
sg sally, skarlett, serafa, sofia*, stella.
tb ted, tim, tom, tony,
tg tahra, trisha,
ub
ug
vb val,
vg viki,
wb wally, wayn, wyatt,
wg
yb
yg yoko,
zb zabbi, zxavier
zg zoe/y,
FAM
v a>m, n? o->r, s? w
 allen+abbi, atkins, ambrose+amelia*11, angel+anna, ash, axelrod, 
basham, bedrosian, birmingham, brown+braidin, booker, butterell
cassal, chesse+charley, cleg+clive, cobb, cusack, 
davis, depp,  dowdall, duguid, durkin.
ebsen, elman, ennis, emyrs, evans.
fay, fisher, fox, franzl, fulton,
garrett, genzel, gilliver, gladstein, gould, grant-grover gunderson.
haddity, heasman, hepburn, hill, hogarty, hopwood+holly, hudson.
ingman, ireland, isgar, ishiguro,  iyer
janes, jamrok+jake, jekyl+jeremy, jordan, jurow, 
kalindjian, keen, kelloway, king, kovacs, kunszt. kelly keen but kelly kelloway seems too repeated
ladd, lane, lennon, lipniki, lobb, lucken.
mather, menzies, milliken,  moyer, muller.
naze, neal, nevin, noble, nuwirth.
obst, oke, ortiz, osgood, oates, ott.
parisse, pelton+paul, peerss, pill, pled/dell, potter, puhm. pedro pelton or pedro peerss.
quan, queeno, quinn, quku qureshi
reed, rhys, richards, roter, rooney, ruben.
saadon, shaw+sharon, singer, sobel+shawn, sturup, sullivan.
tarnawsky, tissier, thorby-theo, tracy, tottman, trudel, turturici.
udeji, ulmer, unger, urda, utley,
vath, verde+val, villanueva, vito, vogt, vullo, vyas
walsh, weston, wheeler, wilkins, wite+william+woods, wyatt.
xao+xavier, xoan, xu, xythalsi
yacono, yerina, yolevsky+yoko, yung, yunioshi,
zan+zxavier, , zayas+zabbi, zek, zobel, zuber, zwik
mike millikin or mike muller?

the thought of knifing a baby

when i think about myself and my own life and realize that relijin CHANGED me from a good nature... my nature was "NEVER hurt anybody" as nature not because the TEACHER said dont push people down" it does not say that but even me with that nature never to push nor hit and i knew NOT to use a knife to cut any person yet even me the religion swayed that i almost KNIFING used a knife to cut my own son for the religious circumcision of "abraham" jew/christian/islam, when the baby is healthy and no "surgery" situation, i feel awful that i was swayed to harm my own son... i feel so bad about myself that i can barely leave bed except to warn others not to be swayed.
if you believe in religion... still wait and the son will choose which ideas he will believe and if he will cut himself. not when the baby cant agree not when the child cant choose nor resist or can be swayed without knowing the harm.