must be replaced by short action sections. ep. 4 investigate murder but during peace, hence bad to involve military investigators kuz even a soldier is civilian not a soldier then.
5 jets fly from the aircraft carrier boat. the soldiers on the ground called "marines" practice aiming at the jets. the pilot flew very low, close to the ground. but the autopilot is not low enuf so he tries lower and crashed jet killing himself. inv will try to recreate whatever happened.
6 a long limo enters the gate of the am. embassy. a gaurd saw somebody running on the railing above the embassy. he fears assassin and mistakenly shoots a teen who dies. what does he deserve? we are not judge nor studied laws. so stupid.
7 gaurds stop a car and say we inspect. the suspicious driver crashed thru the barrier so the gaurds shoot pistols until the driver stops. they find a rocket launcher inside. inv. will inv the theft. plus prisoners escape taking a hostage. first story! d2brig.
new
8 a jeep gets lost in kuwait. iraqis shot one u-s soldier and captured the other for crossing the invisible border. american lawyers can... defend in iraq court haha absurd fiction.
9 find suicide dead from hanging in marine training investigate bla bla pretend to be a trainee in that unit to get info.
10 a girl runs out from her house and sees an unidentified aerial vehicle over an empty military base. it flew away with her, so claims dad.
11 during training to go from water to beach [amfibius] they find a wounded soldier. investigate bla bla.
12 a pilot destroyed a bosnian helicopter that violated no-fly de-militarized zone. they accuse him of violating cease-fire. he claims they shot... story shows guilty until proven innocent hence very bad. did prove no battle? the accuser lacks witness kuz other pilot "jet broke and fell in enemy land" or b shot down? and witness only words not facts could be mad at partner r favor.
13 a pilot lost navigation [near? bad story] and accidently flew near cuba when lightning ruind electronics and interfered with radio. two jets threaten to shoot if he will not landing. inv go cuba to get back jet and pilot before the cubans can copy the data and software and sell the data to iraq.
14 a spy succeeds at getting secret data... inside pentagon unlocking doors... absurd. a man shot her and must be stopped before assasinating a visiting official.
15 a shooting teacher shoots at a jeep to make it stop and argue with the officer who refused to discuss his assignment. he was "promised stateside". they accuse him of attempted murder but he is the expert at aiming.
but bad paper, also bad, as before write "already guilty" until proven innocent. must warn bad series and replace.
Friday, November 15, 2019
Saturday, November 9, 2019
my summary to replace bad series "jag"
jag-off-ic-ers, the action to replace and warn about the bad series jag.
summary of 1-7
first episode called "pilot" summary and warning: pilots fly jets to the zone of "no fly" demilitarize and go to shoot two jets violators. the navigator prepared the missile but the pilot ordered not to use it. he moves near the mig and shoots a missile. the second mig chased him and the helper jet fails to chase it away so he spins and oops magicaly the mig passes so he shoots it with guns.
both she and pilot get praise destroying the violation jets but she gets pushed off the boat that carries jets by unknown hands. the internal investigators must discover why she died and if pushed into sea. they catch somebody between admitting they dont know who did it, and before finding evidence that points at the suspect. so stupid series. only select action here so this replaces bad series. ah and the wording on the cover even worse to sway the reader that us navy is guilty of crimes. and other mistakes so i must replace.
2 a submarine follows a test target. the test-torpedo follows the target but then the developer sends it to threaten citizens kuz wants money, so how will the inv. trick him? he tricked the navy to use only he control.
3 practicing artillery, a soldier instructs wrong coordinates. the bomb kills and injures people. the inv. will see what happened... and the writers will pretend to be judges misusing the safety of fiction to sway the viewers i mean most humans will be swayed by the injected ideas that the actors as judge and lawyer say. terrible trick. only action select kuz the writers are not judges nor should they pretend to be nor try to sway viewers from the camaflage of fiction.
so only action here to replace series named jag beware.
another flaw is the bad decision. when pilot has the option of chase missile it seems destructive to risk entire jet and crew to get near enough to use cheaper missile and gun. if goal is not to use expensive missile then risked entire jet! no punishment for reckless risk when had option. and that is supposedly the judges series.
must be replaced by short action seections.
4 investigate murder bla bla bla
5 jets fly from the aircraft carrier boat. the soldiers on the ground called "marines" practice aiming at the jets. the pilot flew very low, close to the ground. but the autopilot is not low enuf so he tries lower and crashed. inv will try to recreate whatever happened.
6 a long limo enters the gate of an embassy. the gaurd saw somebody running on the railing above the embassy. he fears assassin and mistakenly shoots a child. what does he deserve? we are not judge nor studied laws. so stupid.
7 gaurds stop a car and say we inspect. the suspicious driver crashed thru the barrier so the gaurds shoot pistols until the driver stops they find a rocket launcher inside. inv. will try to discover whatever happened.
t.b.c.
summary of 1-7
first episode called "pilot" summary and warning: pilots fly jets to the zone of "no fly" demilitarize and go to shoot two jets violators. the navigator prepared the missile but the pilot ordered not to use it. he moves near the mig and shoots a missile. the second mig chased him and the helper jet fails to chase it away so he spins and oops magicaly the mig passes so he shoots it with guns.
both she and pilot get praise destroying the violation jets but she gets pushed off the boat that carries jets by unknown hands. the internal investigators must discover why she died and if pushed into sea. they catch somebody between admitting they dont know who did it, and before finding evidence that points at the suspect. so stupid series. only select action here so this replaces bad series. ah and the wording on the cover even worse to sway the reader that us navy is guilty of crimes. and other mistakes so i must replace.
2 a submarine follows a test target. the test-torpedo follows the target but then the developer sends it to threaten citizens kuz wants money, so how will the inv. trick him? he tricked the navy to use only he control.
3 practicing artillery, a soldier instructs wrong coordinates. the bomb kills and injures people. the inv. will see what happened... and the writers will pretend to be judges misusing the safety of fiction to sway the viewers i mean most humans will be swayed by the injected ideas that the actors as judge and lawyer say. terrible trick. only action select kuz the writers are not judges nor should they pretend to be nor try to sway viewers from the camaflage of fiction.
so only action here to replace series named jag beware.
another flaw is the bad decision. when pilot has the option of chase missile it seems destructive to risk entire jet and crew to get near enough to use cheaper missile and gun. if goal is not to use expensive missile then risked entire jet! no punishment for reckless risk when had option. and that is supposedly the judges series.
must be replaced by short action seections.
4 investigate murder bla bla bla
5 jets fly from the aircraft carrier boat. the soldiers on the ground called "marines" practice aiming at the jets. the pilot flew very low, close to the ground. but the autopilot is not low enuf so he tries lower and crashed. inv will try to recreate whatever happened.
6 a long limo enters the gate of an embassy. the gaurd saw somebody running on the railing above the embassy. he fears assassin and mistakenly shoots a child. what does he deserve? we are not judge nor studied laws. so stupid.
7 gaurds stop a car and say we inspect. the suspicious driver crashed thru the barrier so the gaurds shoot pistols until the driver stops they find a rocket launcher inside. inv. will try to discover whatever happened.
t.b.c.
Friday, November 8, 2019
my first night in a dorm
dear diary--my first night in a dorm
in the autumn of 1988 i was 12 almost 13 years from birth. i had wrongly been doing jewish ceremonies one year early before age 13. i already finished 8 grade therefore will save the summer story for future diary.
we drove to the ohio state skool. i enterd the dormitory and saw a list of names. all the students that registered were listed rooms. the names were alphabeticly listed. so i found my name and room number on the ground floor.
after i unpacked i met my two room mates both dressed like boys. they each entered and announced their names. one was not named mikil like angel mikael and the other was not named aron.
they told me their story that both were in my grade starting 9th grade year but unlike myself, both had already been in the dorm and had been room partners when they were in 8th grade. so they would sleep in the SAME room that they had slept in last year. they explained to me that supper would be served at 7pm because lunch was later than normal time. also since they had eaten lunch at normal time noon they would not wait until 7pm and would eat in the room with food they had brought from home.
we chatted about our lives. aron asked me "do you hav a girlfriend?" and i lied "no" because atara and julee weere secret lover and we had now separated. so we chatted more.
i asked them the frend list question: when is your birthday?
aron said his birthday month was april and mikil said has birthday month was march so he was better kuz he was born first. they refused to say the date and taught me birth dates are secret. i said my birthday was in september 1975. they were HORRIFIED. that means i was too young for ninth grade. they explained that i had been wearing the jew-ceremony blocks TOO EARLY. no twelve year old is allowed to wear the prayer cubes. the earlieest to start is one month or one week before 13 birthday so we counted together if i was born in september 1975 then in END of 1976 complete one and called two. end of '77 2 and one day. end '78 3 and one day so i had not yet reached the age 13 and one day as the relijin defined in traditional books.
i protested that after twelve complete years i am called 13 so they counted again and i saw my parents had wrongly burdened me again. now it was FORTY DAYS before my birthday start 13 and too early to wear the cubes. wearing it at the wrong age was bad kuz nobody wears the cubes age twelve.
i would need to wait ten more days.
then they unpacked their supper and dined.. aron had baked chikkin leg that he held in his hand by the bone and ate the thigh and leg. mikil had a samwij bread with red salami inside. mikil offerd me his second samwij but i explained that the taste of salami is not for me. also most samwij have mayonayz and the taste of vinegar is not for me.
they giggled nervously when they heard me say "not for me" and aron said that my way was the best way to say the taste is bad for you.
they each had a large bag of popcorn and they each shared dumping from their bags into a ten inch zip bag so we muncehd the snak and talkd about our lives. i asked them their favrit color and they said that this question is only for first graders.
finally at 7 pm i went for late supper. they did not come kuz they already ate. so i met the other brats in my grade year. they called themselve the class of '92 assuming they would all graduate that year. they were in one word an obnoxious bunch attacking each other with mean words and i immediately fled to a nebor table where two older boys sat only the close frends together. they ate silently and wen i said "hi my name is not tal" they motioned to be silent. so i sat silently as they ate silently. that was much better than trying to talk while your mouth is busy chewing.
after supper of cheap hodo- abbreviation for hot-dogs weeners from ground parts of the cow that they cant sell. we all went to the dorm to unpack but i already emptied my travel cases into the drawers. so i just talked with my new roommates.
aron told me that i should wear a robe to sleep then no pajamas. i responded that autum is too cold. he responded that we all have blankets.
i did not obey and as usual after showering i pulled on new und-y-s and loose pajama pants. they had colord stripes. i added the robe over it for peer pressure.
mikil asked "do you want me to wake you early to prepare for the prayers?" i repied "no way i wont lose any sleep" aron said "wake me so i can pea first." i asked wadya mean.so he explained at 7.15 the music blares [yes he said "blares"] to wake everybody and one hundred kids all awaken and feel that their bladders filled all night and all need to DRAIN at the same time at the 3 pea pots. so i said "wake us up so we wont wait in line".
we chatted some more until inspection. an older student came in, switched on the small light by the sink and switched off the central light that had 3 bulbs. i asked "why does the room have a sink." this caused an argument. aron said that the jew law obligates to wash hands as soon as possible from time of awakening. not even walking 4 paces." i replied from each of our beds even the nearest is more than 4 paces. mikil argued that the jew law obligated NOT WAIT but a sin to wait from emptying waste water calld urine. since at awakening you need to obey both you must obey the "o-rice-a" one more important meaning based on word of god. but aron replied "first wash then pea and then wash kuz the evil spirit must be removed before it enters your pea hole" mikil was ready for that and said we anyway dont touch our fingers to that hole. they argued some more repeating their claims in different ways until i realized that relijin is bad and causes needless fighting about empty harmless issues. but... which one would i do? word of god seemed more important so waaiting is bad sin kuz filthy inside.
next morning was special.
mikil shook my shoulder and called my name "tal, you said i should wake you go drain". not thinking i pulled myself from the FOOT of the bed, kuz mikil stood at the side and as i stepped toward the sink by the door i jamd my toe into the METAL that was in the floor to stop the door from opening too far "unh" i moaned as I stumbled to the sink.
aron urjd "wash first like my dad the rabbi said" but mikil repeated "sin to wait" hid that his pa was also a rabbi. which would i DO in action? i obeyed the sin. and ran along the corridor to drain the urine. mikil jogged behind me. aron was not swayed by the evidence and i heard him splashing the water in the jew ceremony.
we enterd the empty toilet room and stood by the white wall holes. grossly called urin-als. i drained many hours of urine like every morning. the sound of the bubbling echoed in the emty toilet room with no sound from the sleeping studnts. mikil said "shush" so i turned so the stream of waste water would hit the white painted steel instead of splashig forcefully into the water. mikil finished draining first and walked to the sinks. he filled the large plastic cup and washed the jew ceremony but 4 pours on each hand.
i continued draining many hours of urine. finally i emptied the waste water and washed as my custom 3 pours on each hand. we walked silently returning to the room as aron passed us in a robe going to drain. mikil dressed and went to prepare for prayers while aron drained. i climbed into bed kuz early and saw i had 20 minutes until the music blared.
i shut my eyes and before i could think anything the music was blaring. a younger boy not named ernie, was beside my bed saying "did you know you snore?" i understod that i had slept again. irnee said "slide over." aron had already left with mikil.
so i was curious and slid towards the wall. he climbed in beside me and said that he sees that my pen, is erect. this was surprising considering that i had already drained the pressure from the urine. he whispered that it means i want ess-ee-eks.
i was silent expecting him to offer me to insert into his rear exit... which i considered a sin and also physic-ly dirty kuz only able to clean outside the rear exit hole. only years later I would realize that at age 17 I was a "bi" but not then age 12.
the thing that happend next was far better. the eth grader slid his hand along my pajama shirt. then in a circle on my fat overweight stomik. he traced widening circles until his hand hit the male finger then suddenly he grabbed it. i moaned with pleasure. the pleasure was so intense that I did not know where i was nor hear any music despite it blared loudly to wake everybody.
i slid my hand up his pajama pants leg except he was wearing only his white robe. my hand slid under his robe along his smooth leg actually thy. i slid my hand as he gripped the hodo in his hand like a hodo bun from outside my p-j pants. i slid my hand between his thys. pressing against his rite thy. we lay there in my bed under my blankets and only wen he released his grip of the hodo bun did i notice the music blaring. he separated his thys. i imagined briefly that he was atara and not a boy until my hand slid along his right thy and bumped into a soft tube. it was very soft yet much longer than mine when soft. this was not a girl. i was shocked that his tube was soft but soon distracted as his hand found the GAP in the p-j pants for easy pea. i explored his smooth male-bag much MUCH smoother than my bumpy skin of the mail bag. it felt like the skin of a smooth snake that i had never touched in my life yet smooth with un-raised diamond pattern. his hand entered the gap in the p-j pants and searched around the und-y-s. no delay he found the gap for easy pea thru the undy. and said tonite only sleep in a robe this will be more fun.
he would also help me meet another kid that causd pleasure on Saturdays. anyway his finger enterd the gap of the und-y and his thumb and ring finger gripped the male finger for a long time i was almost unconscious from pleasure.
when he released i heard his watch beep. the music was silent and no sound from students in the hall. he said tonight he would help me wash my shoulders kuz hard to reach and we would meet again in the dawn like today.
we quickly dressed and ran to the pray-hall. everybody else wore the blocks so my desire to "fit in" and not appear noticeably different swayed me to sin that i wrapped the prayer cubes ten days too early knowingly. mikil motioned with his hand that this was wrong.
we had arrived just in time for the standing prayer. i knew, since third grade that i was not obligated to say that nor the many tens of pages that evrybody else had read but i had not read. i knew ever since third grade those were "if want". and not everyone wants. ernie walked to me wearing his prayer blocks and wisperd watch the rabbi standing there.
the rabbi was silently reading the prayers. i skipped pages to the "hear" devotion and read "listen israelite nation, master is our god master is one" and continued with the 3 paragraphs selected from bible tora in the order that rabbis directed not the order in the bible. only later i would learn that the printers were wrong choosing those sections.
i read them as i swayed pretending to read the silent prayer. when i finished those 200 words from bible, i pretended to bow same as in the silent prayer turned the page breathed in and out for each pair of lines that my eye counted and turned pages until the last page of the standing prayer and i emphasize I did not say even one word of the blessings kuz i knew i was not required obligated.
ending i looked to the rabbi that the young kid had pointed to and he was not there. he went at that time to inspect the dorm and punish anybody too lazy to get out of bed. knowing this time helped ernie and i enjoy many fun mornings when my room mates had left.
also before night inspection we would leave study early to be the first in the showers. his stated reason was so my shoulders would be clean since it hard to reach your own shoulders but i inderstood the real reason.
i saw that his male finger was always soft hanging tube even when he pressed it on my ribs. how? i was shorter than him, despite being grade 9, so his hanging tube was at the level of my ribs. then he would imagine that my male finger was his and that our finger functioned as he slid his soapy hands along it until his watch beepd. then we separatey returned to bed for inspection that the lights were out and followed by the morning drain and return to bed for more pleasure.
these meetings continued almost every day for years. he never complained that the white male milk did not come out the way it was supposed to at our age. i would not reach physical maturity until almost age 16 years. seven years later than jew-book said the male milk is expected.
he was satisfied imagining that at least our finger inflated. also he introduced me to a Saturday frend.
so those were very pleasant mornings and evenings that helped me though the bad suffering days of hunger.
we did nt know that "modern medicine and nutrition" instruct must eat near the time of awkening. so we would all awake to blaring music at 7.15 to pray from 7.30 to 8.30 then after reading around ninety 90 pages and ten repeated, besides two days per week even more pages before eating plus delay kuz short 15 minute class before breakfast. finally at 9 we fed. i did not know that other dorms started class 8.30 hence fed at 8 ! we were not fed until 9. but had not known this yet. but the problem was, aron pointed to the milk containers and said when the meal time ends they will "consolidate" the remaining milk into one container. so the newer and older milk can mix. that made me terrified to ever pour myself milk unless from a sealed container. so i would eat dry flakes. i coulda ate hot porrij but i was scared not knowing the ingredients of that lumpy stuff.
the bread was the cheapest possible bred and it tasted different from other bread. i had never tasted that sour taste before and bread often felt dry despite the plastic wrapping the loaf. so no bread kuz bad taste and no unidentified lumpy porrij and no milk in flakes. by ten oclock i was hungry again. i felt hungry all morning and no food unil late lunch at 1pm... "after all, a late breakfast justified" a late lunch.
at lunch i could see the pots could not be cleaned and were not clean. the pasta was oily shiny and each day i could barely eat any lunch. and the bread had a strange sour taste apparently a shop that could not sell its day old bread donated it to the skool. but it was different bread with a sour taste differed from the bread i ate until then.
hence so many more hours of hunger. the only thing that kept me at that suffering skool, with hours and hours of hunger until my one meal a day at dinner as above hot-dogs, was the intense pleasures in the dawns and nights. intense pleasure for a short time balanced the many long hours of hunger. so why did i not eat a snack? huh?
to be continued.
in the autumn of 1988 i was 12 almost 13 years from birth. i had wrongly been doing jewish ceremonies one year early before age 13. i already finished 8 grade therefore will save the summer story for future diary.
we drove to the ohio state skool. i enterd the dormitory and saw a list of names. all the students that registered were listed rooms. the names were alphabeticly listed. so i found my name and room number on the ground floor.
after i unpacked i met my two room mates both dressed like boys. they each entered and announced their names. one was not named mikil like angel mikael and the other was not named aron.
they told me their story that both were in my grade starting 9th grade year but unlike myself, both had already been in the dorm and had been room partners when they were in 8th grade. so they would sleep in the SAME room that they had slept in last year. they explained to me that supper would be served at 7pm because lunch was later than normal time. also since they had eaten lunch at normal time noon they would not wait until 7pm and would eat in the room with food they had brought from home.
we chatted about our lives. aron asked me "do you hav a girlfriend?" and i lied "no" because atara and julee weere secret lover and we had now separated. so we chatted more.
i asked them the frend list question: when is your birthday?
aron said his birthday month was april and mikil said has birthday month was march so he was better kuz he was born first. they refused to say the date and taught me birth dates are secret. i said my birthday was in september 1975. they were HORRIFIED. that means i was too young for ninth grade. they explained that i had been wearing the jew-ceremony blocks TOO EARLY. no twelve year old is allowed to wear the prayer cubes. the earlieest to start is one month or one week before 13 birthday so we counted together if i was born in september 1975 then in END of 1976 complete one and called two. end of '77 2 and one day. end '78 3 and one day so i had not yet reached the age 13 and one day as the relijin defined in traditional books.
i protested that after twelve complete years i am called 13 so they counted again and i saw my parents had wrongly burdened me again. now it was FORTY DAYS before my birthday start 13 and too early to wear the cubes. wearing it at the wrong age was bad kuz nobody wears the cubes age twelve.
i would need to wait ten more days.
then they unpacked their supper and dined.. aron had baked chikkin leg that he held in his hand by the bone and ate the thigh and leg. mikil had a samwij bread with red salami inside. mikil offerd me his second samwij but i explained that the taste of salami is not for me. also most samwij have mayonayz and the taste of vinegar is not for me.
they giggled nervously when they heard me say "not for me" and aron said that my way was the best way to say the taste is bad for you.
they each had a large bag of popcorn and they each shared dumping from their bags into a ten inch zip bag so we muncehd the snak and talkd about our lives. i asked them their favrit color and they said that this question is only for first graders.
finally at 7 pm i went for late supper. they did not come kuz they already ate. so i met the other brats in my grade year. they called themselve the class of '92 assuming they would all graduate that year. they were in one word an obnoxious bunch attacking each other with mean words and i immediately fled to a nebor table where two older boys sat only the close frends together. they ate silently and wen i said "hi my name is not tal" they motioned to be silent. so i sat silently as they ate silently. that was much better than trying to talk while your mouth is busy chewing.
after supper of cheap hodo- abbreviation for hot-dogs weeners from ground parts of the cow that they cant sell. we all went to the dorm to unpack but i already emptied my travel cases into the drawers. so i just talked with my new roommates.
aron told me that i should wear a robe to sleep then no pajamas. i responded that autum is too cold. he responded that we all have blankets.
i did not obey and as usual after showering i pulled on new und-y-s and loose pajama pants. they had colord stripes. i added the robe over it for peer pressure.
mikil asked "do you want me to wake you early to prepare for the prayers?" i repied "no way i wont lose any sleep" aron said "wake me so i can pea first." i asked wadya mean.so he explained at 7.15 the music blares [yes he said "blares"] to wake everybody and one hundred kids all awaken and feel that their bladders filled all night and all need to DRAIN at the same time at the 3 pea pots. so i said "wake us up so we wont wait in line".
we chatted some more until inspection. an older student came in, switched on the small light by the sink and switched off the central light that had 3 bulbs. i asked "why does the room have a sink." this caused an argument. aron said that the jew law obligates to wash hands as soon as possible from time of awakening. not even walking 4 paces." i replied from each of our beds even the nearest is more than 4 paces. mikil argued that the jew law obligated NOT WAIT but a sin to wait from emptying waste water calld urine. since at awakening you need to obey both you must obey the "o-rice-a" one more important meaning based on word of god. but aron replied "first wash then pea and then wash kuz the evil spirit must be removed before it enters your pea hole" mikil was ready for that and said we anyway dont touch our fingers to that hole. they argued some more repeating their claims in different ways until i realized that relijin is bad and causes needless fighting about empty harmless issues. but... which one would i do? word of god seemed more important so waaiting is bad sin kuz filthy inside.
next morning was special.
mikil shook my shoulder and called my name "tal, you said i should wake you go drain". not thinking i pulled myself from the FOOT of the bed, kuz mikil stood at the side and as i stepped toward the sink by the door i jamd my toe into the METAL that was in the floor to stop the door from opening too far "unh" i moaned as I stumbled to the sink.
aron urjd "wash first like my dad the rabbi said" but mikil repeated "sin to wait" hid that his pa was also a rabbi. which would i DO in action? i obeyed the sin. and ran along the corridor to drain the urine. mikil jogged behind me. aron was not swayed by the evidence and i heard him splashing the water in the jew ceremony.
we enterd the empty toilet room and stood by the white wall holes. grossly called urin-als. i drained many hours of urine like every morning. the sound of the bubbling echoed in the emty toilet room with no sound from the sleeping studnts. mikil said "shush" so i turned so the stream of waste water would hit the white painted steel instead of splashig forcefully into the water. mikil finished draining first and walked to the sinks. he filled the large plastic cup and washed the jew ceremony but 4 pours on each hand.
i continued draining many hours of urine. finally i emptied the waste water and washed as my custom 3 pours on each hand. we walked silently returning to the room as aron passed us in a robe going to drain. mikil dressed and went to prepare for prayers while aron drained. i climbed into bed kuz early and saw i had 20 minutes until the music blared.
i shut my eyes and before i could think anything the music was blaring. a younger boy not named ernie, was beside my bed saying "did you know you snore?" i understod that i had slept again. irnee said "slide over." aron had already left with mikil.
so i was curious and slid towards the wall. he climbed in beside me and said that he sees that my pen, is erect. this was surprising considering that i had already drained the pressure from the urine. he whispered that it means i want ess-ee-eks.
i was silent expecting him to offer me to insert into his rear exit... which i considered a sin and also physic-ly dirty kuz only able to clean outside the rear exit hole. only years later I would realize that at age 17 I was a "bi" but not then age 12.
the thing that happend next was far better. the eth grader slid his hand along my pajama shirt. then in a circle on my fat overweight stomik. he traced widening circles until his hand hit the male finger then suddenly he grabbed it. i moaned with pleasure. the pleasure was so intense that I did not know where i was nor hear any music despite it blared loudly to wake everybody.
i slid my hand up his pajama pants leg except he was wearing only his white robe. my hand slid under his robe along his smooth leg actually thy. i slid my hand as he gripped the hodo in his hand like a hodo bun from outside my p-j pants. i slid my hand between his thys. pressing against his rite thy. we lay there in my bed under my blankets and only wen he released his grip of the hodo bun did i notice the music blaring. he separated his thys. i imagined briefly that he was atara and not a boy until my hand slid along his right thy and bumped into a soft tube. it was very soft yet much longer than mine when soft. this was not a girl. i was shocked that his tube was soft but soon distracted as his hand found the GAP in the p-j pants for easy pea. i explored his smooth male-bag much MUCH smoother than my bumpy skin of the mail bag. it felt like the skin of a smooth snake that i had never touched in my life yet smooth with un-raised diamond pattern. his hand entered the gap in the p-j pants and searched around the und-y-s. no delay he found the gap for easy pea thru the undy. and said tonite only sleep in a robe this will be more fun.
he would also help me meet another kid that causd pleasure on Saturdays. anyway his finger enterd the gap of the und-y and his thumb and ring finger gripped the male finger for a long time i was almost unconscious from pleasure.
when he released i heard his watch beep. the music was silent and no sound from students in the hall. he said tonight he would help me wash my shoulders kuz hard to reach and we would meet again in the dawn like today.
we quickly dressed and ran to the pray-hall. everybody else wore the blocks so my desire to "fit in" and not appear noticeably different swayed me to sin that i wrapped the prayer cubes ten days too early knowingly. mikil motioned with his hand that this was wrong.
we had arrived just in time for the standing prayer. i knew, since third grade that i was not obligated to say that nor the many tens of pages that evrybody else had read but i had not read. i knew ever since third grade those were "if want". and not everyone wants. ernie walked to me wearing his prayer blocks and wisperd watch the rabbi standing there.
the rabbi was silently reading the prayers. i skipped pages to the "hear" devotion and read "listen israelite nation, master is our god master is one" and continued with the 3 paragraphs selected from bible tora in the order that rabbis directed not the order in the bible. only later i would learn that the printers were wrong choosing those sections.
i read them as i swayed pretending to read the silent prayer. when i finished those 200 words from bible, i pretended to bow same as in the silent prayer turned the page breathed in and out for each pair of lines that my eye counted and turned pages until the last page of the standing prayer and i emphasize I did not say even one word of the blessings kuz i knew i was not required obligated.
ending i looked to the rabbi that the young kid had pointed to and he was not there. he went at that time to inspect the dorm and punish anybody too lazy to get out of bed. knowing this time helped ernie and i enjoy many fun mornings when my room mates had left.
also before night inspection we would leave study early to be the first in the showers. his stated reason was so my shoulders would be clean since it hard to reach your own shoulders but i inderstood the real reason.
i saw that his male finger was always soft hanging tube even when he pressed it on my ribs. how? i was shorter than him, despite being grade 9, so his hanging tube was at the level of my ribs. then he would imagine that my male finger was his and that our finger functioned as he slid his soapy hands along it until his watch beepd. then we separatey returned to bed for inspection that the lights were out and followed by the morning drain and return to bed for more pleasure.
these meetings continued almost every day for years. he never complained that the white male milk did not come out the way it was supposed to at our age. i would not reach physical maturity until almost age 16 years. seven years later than jew-book said the male milk is expected.
he was satisfied imagining that at least our finger inflated. also he introduced me to a Saturday frend.
so those were very pleasant mornings and evenings that helped me though the bad suffering days of hunger.
we did nt know that "modern medicine and nutrition" instruct must eat near the time of awkening. so we would all awake to blaring music at 7.15 to pray from 7.30 to 8.30 then after reading around ninety 90 pages and ten repeated, besides two days per week even more pages before eating plus delay kuz short 15 minute class before breakfast. finally at 9 we fed. i did not know that other dorms started class 8.30 hence fed at 8 ! we were not fed until 9. but had not known this yet. but the problem was, aron pointed to the milk containers and said when the meal time ends they will "consolidate" the remaining milk into one container. so the newer and older milk can mix. that made me terrified to ever pour myself milk unless from a sealed container. so i would eat dry flakes. i coulda ate hot porrij but i was scared not knowing the ingredients of that lumpy stuff.
the bread was the cheapest possible bred and it tasted different from other bread. i had never tasted that sour taste before and bread often felt dry despite the plastic wrapping the loaf. so no bread kuz bad taste and no unidentified lumpy porrij and no milk in flakes. by ten oclock i was hungry again. i felt hungry all morning and no food unil late lunch at 1pm... "after all, a late breakfast justified" a late lunch.
at lunch i could see the pots could not be cleaned and were not clean. the pasta was oily shiny and each day i could barely eat any lunch. and the bread had a strange sour taste apparently a shop that could not sell its day old bread donated it to the skool. but it was different bread with a sour taste differed from the bread i ate until then.
hence so many more hours of hunger. the only thing that kept me at that suffering skool, with hours and hours of hunger until my one meal a day at dinner as above hot-dogs, was the intense pleasures in the dawns and nights. intense pleasure for a short time balanced the many long hours of hunger. so why did i not eat a snack? huh?
to be continued.
Thursday, November 7, 2019
the card games "more" and "twenty".
1 the card game "more" and another
when i was young, i played a card game named "war" but each time the ace shown, the other player claimed that the ace was stronger or weaker, for their benefit. so there was no lasting rule. also the game could be very long time. so a DIFFERENT game, similar but another game named "more" fixes those problems and has a different name for its own rules and different rules yet similar to that game so if you know that game it will be easy to learn this game named "more" and its rules.
2 "more" after preparing, as below, the card with more captures the other card.
preparation: REMOVE the picture cards 12 and jokers for game more.
the ace with one shape has only one shape so in this game, in contrast to other games where the ace is strong, but in this game the other numbers are all MORE than ace because it only has one shape.always. whether i show the ace or the other player.
mix the cards. give each of the two players twenty 20 cards. each rests the cards in a pile secret on the table so nobody can see.
rules: the game more has different name and different rules than similar games. the ace has one shape and always is worth one so other number are more than ace. the length of the game is one cycle of twenty cards. the exception is if two equal cards are shown as below.
each player shows the top secret card and they identify which card is MORE. the card more gets the other card for example: i show a two and the other player shows "a" with one shape so two has more shapes and i capture the "a" called ace with one shape. i rest both cards in a second pile secretly not shown. ten is the most and captures any other card because it is MORE. unless two cards are equal for example i show ten and the other player shows ten.
then we each add TWO secret card to increase the risk. the THIRD card is shown because the game "more" is a different game with different rules than similar games. the shown cards are compared and the player showing the card that is MORE captures all 4 cards of the other player adding to own 4 shown.
exception: sometimes two equal cards are played at the end of the one cycle of twenty.
for example i show a two and the second player shows a two. we should add two secret cards but sometimes only one card remains from the deal pile of twenty. so we each lay the one secret card on the equal cards and add the second from the top of the "pile of captured cards" the second is also secret as the rule above. third card shown whichever shown card has more captures all the cards in that set and the game ends because the deal pile of twenty is now empty. together count the captured cards so the one with "more cards" wins quickly. although opponents opposing, still this is only a game so not enemies.
sometimes the other player violates the rule. then the game ends and the one who did not violate the rule wins. do not play again with the rule violator, wait at least a year and as an adult he will probably ignore the rules too. and violate rules so separate from such people.
why dont you play with that person? because he ignores rules.
THE card game TWENTY.
another card game has its own name because different rules from similar games if you know blackjack then easy to learn this game but game "twenty" has different name because different rules.
also for this game remove the picture cards 12 and jokers so only numbers remain. from one "a" one shape to ten. and mix the cards.
each player gets two secret cards. only each player sees when holds.
they can choose to add a card to be NEARER to twenty, or not add for fear they will have more than twenty. the card with one shape is always worth one. if you get a card with picture then discard put aside not for this game.
POINTS
the player that gets total 20 precisely gets 2 points in the series if both total exactly 20 then both get 2 points in the tie. if both get same total, less than twenty, then each gets one point in series. if a player totals more than twenty or less than the other player, then the player with more points but less than 20 gets one point and the other players gets zer points meaning not even one.
for example i hold "a" with one shape and seven. i decide not to add. the other player holds two nines and decided to add to try to get exactly 20 for get two points. if adds the two, we each motion a wall. and show the secret cards. his total is twenty so he gets 2 points in the series and i get zero. meaning not even one. if he shows total 21 or more bad, too many total, so cards are cancelled and i get one point because his cancelled cards. if i show seven and nine total 16 and he shows two ets we each get one point in series. whichever player reaches ten points, first, wins the series. sometimes a player with nine and gets exactly twenty, is good luck, deserves more than ten points that is also winner with good luck.
when i was young, i played a card game named "war" but each time the ace shown, the other player claimed that the ace was stronger or weaker, for their benefit. so there was no lasting rule. also the game could be very long time. so a DIFFERENT game, similar but another game named "more" fixes those problems and has a different name for its own rules and different rules yet similar to that game so if you know that game it will be easy to learn this game named "more" and its rules.
2 "more" after preparing, as below, the card with more captures the other card.
preparation: REMOVE the picture cards 12 and jokers for game more.
the ace with one shape has only one shape so in this game, in contrast to other games where the ace is strong, but in this game the other numbers are all MORE than ace because it only has one shape.always. whether i show the ace or the other player.
mix the cards. give each of the two players twenty 20 cards. each rests the cards in a pile secret on the table so nobody can see.
rules: the game more has different name and different rules than similar games. the ace has one shape and always is worth one so other number are more than ace. the length of the game is one cycle of twenty cards. the exception is if two equal cards are shown as below.
each player shows the top secret card and they identify which card is MORE. the card more gets the other card for example: i show a two and the other player shows "a" with one shape so two has more shapes and i capture the "a" called ace with one shape. i rest both cards in a second pile secretly not shown. ten is the most and captures any other card because it is MORE. unless two cards are equal for example i show ten and the other player shows ten.
then we each add TWO secret card to increase the risk. the THIRD card is shown because the game "more" is a different game with different rules than similar games. the shown cards are compared and the player showing the card that is MORE captures all 4 cards of the other player adding to own 4 shown.
exception: sometimes two equal cards are played at the end of the one cycle of twenty.
for example i show a two and the second player shows a two. we should add two secret cards but sometimes only one card remains from the deal pile of twenty. so we each lay the one secret card on the equal cards and add the second from the top of the "pile of captured cards" the second is also secret as the rule above. third card shown whichever shown card has more captures all the cards in that set and the game ends because the deal pile of twenty is now empty. together count the captured cards so the one with "more cards" wins quickly. although opponents opposing, still this is only a game so not enemies.
sometimes the other player violates the rule. then the game ends and the one who did not violate the rule wins. do not play again with the rule violator, wait at least a year and as an adult he will probably ignore the rules too. and violate rules so separate from such people.
why dont you play with that person? because he ignores rules.
THE card game TWENTY.
another card game has its own name because different rules from similar games if you know blackjack then easy to learn this game but game "twenty" has different name because different rules.
also for this game remove the picture cards 12 and jokers so only numbers remain. from one "a" one shape to ten. and mix the cards.
each player gets two secret cards. only each player sees when holds.
they can choose to add a card to be NEARER to twenty, or not add for fear they will have more than twenty. the card with one shape is always worth one. if you get a card with picture then discard put aside not for this game.
POINTS
the player that gets total 20 precisely gets 2 points in the series if both total exactly 20 then both get 2 points in the tie. if both get same total, less than twenty, then each gets one point in series. if a player totals more than twenty or less than the other player, then the player with more points but less than 20 gets one point and the other players gets zer points meaning not even one.
for example i hold "a" with one shape and seven. i decide not to add. the other player holds two nines and decided to add to try to get exactly 20 for get two points. if adds the two, we each motion a wall. and show the secret cards. his total is twenty so he gets 2 points in the series and i get zero. meaning not even one. if he shows total 21 or more bad, too many total, so cards are cancelled and i get one point because his cancelled cards. if i show seven and nine total 16 and he shows two ets we each get one point in series. whichever player reaches ten points, first, wins the series. sometimes a player with nine and gets exactly twenty, is good luck, deserves more than ten points that is also winner with good luck.
the ENTRANCE exam
dear diary--the entrance exam. --in the month january of the start of the year 1987 I was age 11 years, my ma offered me a "choice" which high school to study at. i was in the seventh grade in that winter in january 1987. starting age 11, i could choose which school to go for eth grade and the following years called high school.
she offered me a list of four schools one was in illinois state. another in maryland state a third in new york state and a fourth in ohio state.
i knew nothing about each school and askd, "tell me about each school." she said that they are all the same relijis schools so just pick one." not really any real choice.
i had not seen any of them nor met any of the students nor teachers. never seen the place for sleeping called dorm nor classrooms. how would i choose? and losing my fun weekend pleaure meetings with julee or atara described in "joy of bible" meetings seemed stupid.
i asked to visit each sckuul, so i could know which one felt good. ma said "they are all the same, like they study the same jewish books." as if the people teachers were all the same.
so i took the list of four names in alphabetical order and rewrote the list instead of the school name the name of the state: 1i, 2 m, 3 n, 4 o. then i did the famous "eenee meenee" which children do not know has 32 words and is not good for a list of four but i did not know that. we used this method on groups of three kids or two kids.
deciding to use the method eenee is not a smart way to choose any school unseen. and worse that decision gauranteed that i would choose the fourth school so as i counted eeenee meenee i ended on o. ohio.
that week i prepared for a long car trip from new york city to the state ohio for the entrance exam. i also prepared one "section of jewish rabbi arguments" for the exam. this seemd stupid becauese i was going to a SCHOOL that means the place has TEACHERS so the student is expected not to know.
if knew then bad kuz the teacher would be teaching me stuff i already know. this differs from math when you need to passs exam of add before you can learn multiply which contains adding.
when i returned from skool in seventh grade my parents had already packed the car. the time was around 5:30 pm because my parents chose to BURDEN me with longer hours of study longer than the time they had studied each day in school and longer in seventh grade even than the common high school student grade 11 who leaves skool at 3pm on latest day and before 3 pm on most days. but i had the burden of long hours and resent the EXTRA burden that my parents caused more time and more work than the common schools.
we drove for many hours from the east coast of the continent. the one with the long amazon river in the same mass of the land which CONTIN-ues north to a narrower part and then widens to a wide part all one CONTIN-uing contin-ent of land mass.
after around five hours of driving around ten pm we reached a mid point in the state called pensylvania. my pa chose a cheap motel because the feul and motel would be cheaper than 3 plane tickets to fly to ohio. so we shared one motel room. as i lay in the dark room i thout about the two girls not named atara and julee back home.
ever since the JOYOUS meeting on the evening of the festival "joy of bible" in year 1982 in autumn of 1982 when i had just started age 7 and started third grade skool year, in the diary story,
link but read later. not now please.
https://thinkforyourselfn8.blogspot.com/2019/10/joy-for-bible-day.html
we continue this story now.
i continued to secretly meet the girls on weekends wen four parents napped saturday afternoon.
or sent me to the bad "pirhay" meetings. instead of going with boy brats I went to the teen while her parents napped we had pleasure.
i continued to visit atara for pleasure as the older girl rocked on my male finger same as a rocking chair. we continued meeting from 1982 until 1987 because no risk of pregnany before a boy reaches age 13 so in 1987 i was still too young for that risk of causing teen pregnancy.
i realized that if i would study in that school in ohio i would be very far from the older lovers. i would not have those pleasant sensations.
despite the fact that the entrance exam was the SAME section that i studied in seventh grade school i decided i would lie "I dont know for each question" causing me to return to my lovers. then peaceful that i would continue my pleasure meetings i dozed into sleep beside the two beds for the adults. however the entrance exam turned out even more exciting.
the following winter morning we ate the motel breakfast i ate a fried egg with hot toast and they ate... i did not look so dont know. we drove many more hours across pns. state and into ohio state until arriving at the school.
the rabbi was available when we arrived so i entered the dark classroom. the pale winter light of cloudy january slightly lit the dim room. so the rabbi did not switch on the electric light. the room was not cold as a heater machine worked blowing warm air beside the window.
the rabbi asked the first question "which section did you prepare" for the entrance exam. as my mouth shaped the words i had already prepared "i dont know" i realized, that those words, did not answer his question so i could not do my plan. so instead I said, when the time came for me to answer, "i prepared a section BUT..." so before telling him that it was the section in the rabbi book about finding an object such as a common simple gold ring when i know the owner is not yet aware that they lost it, i attacked the word prepare.
i replied "i prepared a section BUT if you know i prepared it, then what exactly are you testing?"
the rabbi ignored my question and repeated "which section did you prepare".
when it was my turn to talk and answer, i argued "the school will TEACH me any new rabbinic words, so what are you testing in this exam?" the rabbi responded "i am the one asking the questions in this entrance exam so tell me which section."
i altered my plan to fail the interview by saying "i dont know" and instead argued with the rabbi. i saw that he was bankrupt and did not know himself the purpose of the exam.
he could not say that "you must know add before learning multiply because contains add" because other subjects such jew religion differ from math so TEACHERS must teach stuff that the students don't know.
in several different arguments i complained that this was a school so I can only be accepted if i don't know hence needing a teacher kuz if I already know then I should get a diploma.
each question he asked, when it was my turn to speak, i repeated that idea because the scool will teach. he refused to answer my question so i repeated it each time it was my turn to speak. like"what is the point of this exam for a school that must TEACH students."
finaly the patient rabbi said "you are wasting my time" he left the room.
he coulda said that the exam was to see "if i could independently understand correctly the rabb book without a teacher" because the teacher would "add the commentaries" that we had not studied yet, not teach the text itself. but he did not say that he was testing that ability.
not until the following year entrance exam. if woulda said that then then I woulda returned to my "I don't know plan" to stay near my lover but arguing was more exciting.
so i returned in 1987 to the building where my parents waited and they were very angry.
"we drove all this way and you failed your exam" they woulda hit me but police had already arrested them in the past for hitting me.
we drove home in stony silence for the fruitless journey of many hours with no success at the entrance exam.
ONLY fruitless for them. i knew that i would continue one more year with my lover on the weekends. that is the real secret reason that i argued with the rabbi for the "8 eth grade entrance exam." delaying one more year until the following years entrance exam that I passed.
we met until the following year when she feared i was old enuf to cause pregnancy but honestly I was not physicly mature yet even entering ninth grade but at that time i answered the rabbis questions with relavant answers. then i said "you see i know the prepared section so what skill are you testing for?"
the rabbi said "i am testing for your ability to indepepndently understand the rabbi book" i replied if so, that cannot be tested on a section that somebody taught me.
the rabbi lafd nervously and said "open five pages ahead and start reading."
i started reading the section, beyond the section i had prepared. i translated the words to english and said the idea. the rabbi announced "I see that you can correctly understand" the rabbi book and that you are ready for our teachers to add different commentaries.
***this is very significant because of the rabbi deception.
so i was accepted into school and from then on whenever the rabbis would LIE that "my conclusion which challenged the bad jew relijin was wrong" was because "you dont understand" i knew they were lying becuse the entrance exam is for that purpose.
the rabbi specified that the entrance exam tested to see that I did have the skill to correctly comprehend the ideas in rabbi books.
any student accepted must know that the rabbi deception to "attack" the student with failure to understand, instead of informing the "data ignorant" is lying. they were only accepted because they were ABLE to correctly understand the book and instead of talking about the evidence in the text they try to attack the student. which is bad because the rabbi ignore the evidence. and also mean bad insult.
knowing this, i ask: such deception does not deserve the death penalty and yet how can such people be stopped without a death penalty?"
the tragedy of the Nazi differs from the mass murder of jews. instead "not enough bad jews were stopped by death." the end.
she offered me a list of four schools one was in illinois state. another in maryland state a third in new york state and a fourth in ohio state.
i knew nothing about each school and askd, "tell me about each school." she said that they are all the same relijis schools so just pick one." not really any real choice.
i had not seen any of them nor met any of the students nor teachers. never seen the place for sleeping called dorm nor classrooms. how would i choose? and losing my fun weekend pleaure meetings with julee or atara described in "joy of bible" meetings seemed stupid.
i asked to visit each sckuul, so i could know which one felt good. ma said "they are all the same, like they study the same jewish books." as if the people teachers were all the same.
so i took the list of four names in alphabetical order and rewrote the list instead of the school name the name of the state: 1i, 2 m, 3 n, 4 o. then i did the famous "eenee meenee" which children do not know has 32 words and is not good for a list of four but i did not know that. we used this method on groups of three kids or two kids.
deciding to use the method eenee is not a smart way to choose any school unseen. and worse that decision gauranteed that i would choose the fourth school so as i counted eeenee meenee i ended on o. ohio.
that week i prepared for a long car trip from new york city to the state ohio for the entrance exam. i also prepared one "section of jewish rabbi arguments" for the exam. this seemd stupid becauese i was going to a SCHOOL that means the place has TEACHERS so the student is expected not to know.
if knew then bad kuz the teacher would be teaching me stuff i already know. this differs from math when you need to passs exam of add before you can learn multiply which contains adding.
when i returned from skool in seventh grade my parents had already packed the car. the time was around 5:30 pm because my parents chose to BURDEN me with longer hours of study longer than the time they had studied each day in school and longer in seventh grade even than the common high school student grade 11 who leaves skool at 3pm on latest day and before 3 pm on most days. but i had the burden of long hours and resent the EXTRA burden that my parents caused more time and more work than the common schools.
we drove for many hours from the east coast of the continent. the one with the long amazon river in the same mass of the land which CONTIN-ues north to a narrower part and then widens to a wide part all one CONTIN-uing contin-ent of land mass.
after around five hours of driving around ten pm we reached a mid point in the state called pensylvania. my pa chose a cheap motel because the feul and motel would be cheaper than 3 plane tickets to fly to ohio. so we shared one motel room. as i lay in the dark room i thout about the two girls not named atara and julee back home.
ever since the JOYOUS meeting on the evening of the festival "joy of bible" in year 1982 in autumn of 1982 when i had just started age 7 and started third grade skool year, in the diary story,
link but read later. not now please.
https://thinkforyourselfn8.blogspot.com/2019/10/joy-for-bible-day.html
we continue this story now.
i continued to secretly meet the girls on weekends wen four parents napped saturday afternoon.
or sent me to the bad "pirhay" meetings. instead of going with boy brats I went to the teen while her parents napped we had pleasure.
i continued to visit atara for pleasure as the older girl rocked on my male finger same as a rocking chair. we continued meeting from 1982 until 1987 because no risk of pregnany before a boy reaches age 13 so in 1987 i was still too young for that risk of causing teen pregnancy.
i realized that if i would study in that school in ohio i would be very far from the older lovers. i would not have those pleasant sensations.
despite the fact that the entrance exam was the SAME section that i studied in seventh grade school i decided i would lie "I dont know for each question" causing me to return to my lovers. then peaceful that i would continue my pleasure meetings i dozed into sleep beside the two beds for the adults. however the entrance exam turned out even more exciting.
the following winter morning we ate the motel breakfast i ate a fried egg with hot toast and they ate... i did not look so dont know. we drove many more hours across pns. state and into ohio state until arriving at the school.
the rabbi was available when we arrived so i entered the dark classroom. the pale winter light of cloudy january slightly lit the dim room. so the rabbi did not switch on the electric light. the room was not cold as a heater machine worked blowing warm air beside the window.
the rabbi asked the first question "which section did you prepare" for the entrance exam. as my mouth shaped the words i had already prepared "i dont know" i realized, that those words, did not answer his question so i could not do my plan. so instead I said, when the time came for me to answer, "i prepared a section BUT..." so before telling him that it was the section in the rabbi book about finding an object such as a common simple gold ring when i know the owner is not yet aware that they lost it, i attacked the word prepare.
i replied "i prepared a section BUT if you know i prepared it, then what exactly are you testing?"
the rabbi ignored my question and repeated "which section did you prepare".
when it was my turn to talk and answer, i argued "the school will TEACH me any new rabbinic words, so what are you testing in this exam?" the rabbi responded "i am the one asking the questions in this entrance exam so tell me which section."
i altered my plan to fail the interview by saying "i dont know" and instead argued with the rabbi. i saw that he was bankrupt and did not know himself the purpose of the exam.
he could not say that "you must know add before learning multiply because contains add" because other subjects such jew religion differ from math so TEACHERS must teach stuff that the students don't know.
in several different arguments i complained that this was a school so I can only be accepted if i don't know hence needing a teacher kuz if I already know then I should get a diploma.
each question he asked, when it was my turn to speak, i repeated that idea because the scool will teach. he refused to answer my question so i repeated it each time it was my turn to speak. like"what is the point of this exam for a school that must TEACH students."
finaly the patient rabbi said "you are wasting my time" he left the room.
he coulda said that the exam was to see "if i could independently understand correctly the rabb book without a teacher" because the teacher would "add the commentaries" that we had not studied yet, not teach the text itself. but he did not say that he was testing that ability.
not until the following year entrance exam. if woulda said that then then I woulda returned to my "I don't know plan" to stay near my lover but arguing was more exciting.
so i returned in 1987 to the building where my parents waited and they were very angry.
"we drove all this way and you failed your exam" they woulda hit me but police had already arrested them in the past for hitting me.
we drove home in stony silence for the fruitless journey of many hours with no success at the entrance exam.
ONLY fruitless for them. i knew that i would continue one more year with my lover on the weekends. that is the real secret reason that i argued with the rabbi for the "8 eth grade entrance exam." delaying one more year until the following years entrance exam that I passed.
we met until the following year when she feared i was old enuf to cause pregnancy but honestly I was not physicly mature yet even entering ninth grade but at that time i answered the rabbis questions with relavant answers. then i said "you see i know the prepared section so what skill are you testing for?"
the rabbi said "i am testing for your ability to indepepndently understand the rabbi book" i replied if so, that cannot be tested on a section that somebody taught me.
the rabbi lafd nervously and said "open five pages ahead and start reading."
i started reading the section, beyond the section i had prepared. i translated the words to english and said the idea. the rabbi announced "I see that you can correctly understand" the rabbi book and that you are ready for our teachers to add different commentaries.
***this is very significant because of the rabbi deception.
so i was accepted into school and from then on whenever the rabbis would LIE that "my conclusion which challenged the bad jew relijin was wrong" was because "you dont understand" i knew they were lying becuse the entrance exam is for that purpose.
the rabbi specified that the entrance exam tested to see that I did have the skill to correctly comprehend the ideas in rabbi books.
any student accepted must know that the rabbi deception to "attack" the student with failure to understand, instead of informing the "data ignorant" is lying. they were only accepted because they were ABLE to correctly understand the book and instead of talking about the evidence in the text they try to attack the student. which is bad because the rabbi ignore the evidence. and also mean bad insult.
knowing this, i ask: such deception does not deserve the death penalty and yet how can such people be stopped without a death penalty?"
the tragedy of the Nazi differs from the mass murder of jews. instead "not enough bad jews were stopped by death." the end.
Thursday, October 31, 2019
meaning of hebew prayers
dear diary
for many years i read the hebrew words of jew prayer mindlessly yet aware that i did not know the meaning of the forin words yet accepting that the words were forin and no expectation to understand hebrew from age 4 until seven.
finally after the physical hits of the rabbi in grade one, in grade 2 i felt that i knew enuf hebrew to try and understand the prayers.
i knew by then hundreds of hebrew words yet the words in the prayers were the rare unused words. i complained that reading words mindlessly is stupid so my parents bought the book with both languages however the translation was so overly poetic that even the english was foolishly empty of any clear meaning.
i did not notice after several days of reading the translation that the translation of certain words were exchanged that taught me that the words were the same.
around one month after i started reading the translation in two languages the rabbi stole my book so that i could not understand the words i was reading nor learn new english words for the hebrew that i read.
luckily by grade 3 a student taught me that the jew tradition itself specified that prayers and blessings are "for whoever that wants to be" in a separate category and not "every person wants" that so not truly obligation. yet sad that nobody emphasized this true idea and instead lies win as the students hear the lie "you must read these pages" when the tradition itself specified as above not obliigation but for the one who wants.
worse the most common word in prayers is easily shown "grammaticly wrong. that word is baruk.
to easily see the problem we can compare the grammar of the parallel verb.
wen i THROW a ball the ball "gets thrown" by me. the term is "zaruk" same verb form as baruk. yet god assuming god exists, as the praisers believe, sends the blessings meaning the person is "baruk" got the result of the verb got the blessings as the bible said "isac got blessings". so we cannot reverse that god is the baruk since he is the giver that is backward both in the bad choice of words of prayers and in bad psalms. yet the mindless people obey the rabbis without thinking of the word baruk that they repeat so many times each day until only habit moves their lips as they plan the list of things to do that day... without a thought to the words that flow from lips now in america that is easy to start because kids dont know heberew and the surprise is even in israel where people speak hebrew and know the word "zaruk" they still say the word baruk wihout noticing the word is "gramaticly wrong" and typical of religion will ignore any evidence and insist that the religion obligates them to say that word therefore it must be correct when as above that is false. yes a rabbi in europe claimed the word baruk meanss source yet we see the use of the verb in the bibe as above in the story of isac that the word is wrong in psalms and later books.
how did i get the rabbi in first grade to stop hitting me?
first i told my parents but the cruel heartless jews replied "no big deal we hit you too"
then i asked people which car was rabbi narkman and at lunch break before eating i watched that car saw that he used that car and later damaged it as a minor i could not be punished by law. so i said if you hit me again i will damage your car lights and that forced him to stop hitting me. for my parents i went to a nebbors house and called tthe police on them they shoulda done prison time... justice is that when they are helpless i inflict physical pain on their body but there cannot be justice.
for many years i read the hebrew words of jew prayer mindlessly yet aware that i did not know the meaning of the forin words yet accepting that the words were forin and no expectation to understand hebrew from age 4 until seven.
finally after the physical hits of the rabbi in grade one, in grade 2 i felt that i knew enuf hebrew to try and understand the prayers.
i knew by then hundreds of hebrew words yet the words in the prayers were the rare unused words. i complained that reading words mindlessly is stupid so my parents bought the book with both languages however the translation was so overly poetic that even the english was foolishly empty of any clear meaning.
i did not notice after several days of reading the translation that the translation of certain words were exchanged that taught me that the words were the same.
around one month after i started reading the translation in two languages the rabbi stole my book so that i could not understand the words i was reading nor learn new english words for the hebrew that i read.
luckily by grade 3 a student taught me that the jew tradition itself specified that prayers and blessings are "for whoever that wants to be" in a separate category and not "every person wants" that so not truly obligation. yet sad that nobody emphasized this true idea and instead lies win as the students hear the lie "you must read these pages" when the tradition itself specified as above not obliigation but for the one who wants.
worse the most common word in prayers is easily shown "grammaticly wrong. that word is baruk.
to easily see the problem we can compare the grammar of the parallel verb.
wen i THROW a ball the ball "gets thrown" by me. the term is "zaruk" same verb form as baruk. yet god assuming god exists, as the praisers believe, sends the blessings meaning the person is "baruk" got the result of the verb got the blessings as the bible said "isac got blessings". so we cannot reverse that god is the baruk since he is the giver that is backward both in the bad choice of words of prayers and in bad psalms. yet the mindless people obey the rabbis without thinking of the word baruk that they repeat so many times each day until only habit moves their lips as they plan the list of things to do that day... without a thought to the words that flow from lips now in america that is easy to start because kids dont know heberew and the surprise is even in israel where people speak hebrew and know the word "zaruk" they still say the word baruk wihout noticing the word is "gramaticly wrong" and typical of religion will ignore any evidence and insist that the religion obligates them to say that word therefore it must be correct when as above that is false. yes a rabbi in europe claimed the word baruk meanss source yet we see the use of the verb in the bibe as above in the story of isac that the word is wrong in psalms and later books.
how did i get the rabbi in first grade to stop hitting me?
first i told my parents but the cruel heartless jews replied "no big deal we hit you too"
then i asked people which car was rabbi narkman and at lunch break before eating i watched that car saw that he used that car and later damaged it as a minor i could not be punished by law. so i said if you hit me again i will damage your car lights and that forced him to stop hitting me. for my parents i went to a nebbors house and called tthe police on them they shoulda done prison time... justice is that when they are helpless i inflict physical pain on their body but there cannot be justice.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
the abraham club, details
the abraham club, details
1 until the jew leaders cancels the section, quoted by child hitters to "obligate them" to hit physical pain to children, same as whipping a horse in training, the cruel jew and christian too will "obey god" and do cruel evil pain on children no matter what the year number is.
2 similarly the non painful but immoral abraham club. also based on the so called "holy" bible.
if you feel horrified by the story below things these brats did, touching genitals when minors, then how can you not be more horrified at the physical pain that strong big adults hit so inflict on smaller weaker children in hit and cutting genital circumcision cut and blood adding to the same bad act of touching this genital in circumcision yet worse cut and blood. all these must be edited and fixed.
these cruel people must be deterred, by punished harsh enuf to deter.
3 back to the diary: when i was in first grade at the jew institute the rabbi told us bible stories. around two months into the skuul year the stories were about abraham kuz the jew reads these stories in hebrew in the jew church. by then the rabbi had already been using the recess break to hit me. each day many repeated hits together as I howled in physical pain. helpless. he had been hitting me often already during those months I did not know that "sadists want to hit more when the victim protests" yet the victim must protest especially if they have pain or the hitter can lie "how do I know it hurt?".
one fateful week during class teaching time, the "holy" rabbi told us the pen, is, story. abraham sent his slave- yes a slave. god never commanded "all slave owners shalt free all their slaves." religion and bible is not a lesson for ethics. anyway the slave said a vow to bring a wife to the son of abraham from family of abraham.
the rabbi included that in the story, the bible wrote that the slave "placed his hand under abrahams leg" why would he touch his leg? the rabbi explained: the holy place of the holy circumcision that abraham chose as an adult to cut himself.
i add differs from baby or child that is compelled and forced and does not agree nor "consent with understanding" the issues and harm from circumcision.
this story caused the "abraham" club.
everybody knows in western society we must not touch other people in the "bathing suit" place kuz the same reason the clothing for swim must cover that place, same nobody else touch it. an adult that touches a child there does deserve punishment and yes cut and blood is worse crime added to touch with measurable harm and yes also touches the place too. if 3 years in prison for touching then touching with cutting should be three plus double six years total 9 in prison fed only water. until thin, and low range of body mass per hiet then also dry bread once per day.
4 back to the story: an older boy not named jakob was starting fifth grade. apparently nobody in fifth grade agreed to join his club so he asked 3 younger kids. i heard about the club from a young boy in my class year, not named isac. we will see that isac had been in the club for a year, since pre-first and served in the club as "gaurd" meaning the lookout.
in first grade the rabbi told us to read and chant the hebrew words of praise to "god" meaning jehova of the jew. then rabbi left the room and no adult watched. the kids obeyed and chanted the hebrew prayers. until isac who sat at the desk near the door looked around the room and chose me. isac left his desk and book. he came and invited me to the abraham club.
we went to the secret clubhouse in the skool and another young boy, this one not named josef stood in the doorway making sure nobody saw the things we would do. isac and i passed the gaurd josef who was one year younger than isac so age 5 years kuz isac was 6. josef had a big brother not named jakob he was starting fifth grade and was already in the clubhouse with his younger brother josef the gaurd. isac explained that the club represents the respect for gods commands and this abraham vow bible story that we had heard that month, of the oath kuz otherwise they would not allow touch.
for honor the circumcision i was easily swayed, based on the story of the slave of Abraham in the "holy" bible, the same as the older boy had convinced the other young boys.
5 the oldest in the club not named jakob had already uncoverd his circumcision. i could see his stomach and some fuzz at the place where the soft tube hangs from the stomach. jakob announced in hebrew words the section that the slave put his hand under abrahams leg.
jakob did that action to isac age 6 in my class year when isac pulled his soft tube through his zipper. josef the gaurd was watching us so jakob hissed "look to warn if anybody is coming." josef obeyed. after the hebrew words, jakob said "this is for respect of the holy commandment" kissed the holy place of circumcision same as the vow or oath of the story.
next i uncovered same as jakob had rolled his pants down from his waist. jakob put his hand on the back of my thigh. the soft tube for waste liquid called urine responded with inflating longer. jakob kissed his soft lips on the place of the holy commandment. the soft tube was no longer soft.
jakob rose and announced "hail king arthur. you isac have found king arthur. he is the only one not soft so he is the king of the club." jakob rolled his sweat-pants back up to his waist covering his body. i felt relief that i would not placing my mouth on the place where the waste liquid called urine streams out.
however isac complained "i did not kiss yours yet". jakob explained that now we found a king so all members only kiss the king. isac whined "you kissed mine so i should kiss yours." jakob was silent. isac continued whining "i waited all last year to advance from gaurd to active service and now you kissed me and i dont kiss yours. that not fair". jakob comforted him that he would kiss the king. so isac kissed my holy place.
6 next josef the gaurd wanted a turn. isac said that last year when he was gaurd he could not do service. but jakob told his brother that if he showed that he was a jew, same as josef in the bible showed his brothers, then he could do service. again isac whined "that is not fair". jakob sent isac to be lookout and josef uncovered his circumcision show he was a jew. then jakob approved so josef covered himself and did the service kissing the holy place of the king. after this third kiss i covered myself.
jakob pointed at the bulge in my pants and said "nobody can know about the meeting. they will notice the bulge in your pants." so jakob taught me to do the exercise of leaning against the wall and sliding down to a sitting position so the weight stretched the muscles near my knees. within seconds the distraction caused the tube to return soft.
jakob hissed angrily that we must only read the "standing prayer" so nobody would notice that we were not in class during prayers.
isac and i returned to first grade classroom. jakob led his brother to preskuul and probably returned to his fifth grade classroom.
i obeyed jakob that day and only read the standing prayer. when the other brats stood from the chairs and read the standing prayer i started at the same time knowing that i had skipped, not read many pages that day in contrast to the previous months. those months I chanted the Hebrew prayers with the other students and did not know the excuse for punishment hits from the sadist rabbi those months.
the other brats read the hebrew faster than myself and finished the silent standing prayer blessings first.
the following day was the same as future days. the club did not meet kuz only once per month on inconsistent days for the secret. i started reading the prayers chanting loud at same speed but the silent part, everybody else read the hebrew faster and probably skipped words. this would all change in second grade when i tried to learn the meaning of the hebrew words. story in next diary.
to be continued.
1 until the jew leaders cancels the section, quoted by child hitters to "obligate them" to hit physical pain to children, same as whipping a horse in training, the cruel jew and christian too will "obey god" and do cruel evil pain on children no matter what the year number is.
2 similarly the non painful but immoral abraham club. also based on the so called "holy" bible.
if you feel horrified by the story below things these brats did, touching genitals when minors, then how can you not be more horrified at the physical pain that strong big adults hit so inflict on smaller weaker children in hit and cutting genital circumcision cut and blood adding to the same bad act of touching this genital in circumcision yet worse cut and blood. all these must be edited and fixed.
these cruel people must be deterred, by punished harsh enuf to deter.
3 back to the diary: when i was in first grade at the jew institute the rabbi told us bible stories. around two months into the skuul year the stories were about abraham kuz the jew reads these stories in hebrew in the jew church. by then the rabbi had already been using the recess break to hit me. each day many repeated hits together as I howled in physical pain. helpless. he had been hitting me often already during those months I did not know that "sadists want to hit more when the victim protests" yet the victim must protest especially if they have pain or the hitter can lie "how do I know it hurt?".
one fateful week during class teaching time, the "holy" rabbi told us the pen, is, story. abraham sent his slave- yes a slave. god never commanded "all slave owners shalt free all their slaves." religion and bible is not a lesson for ethics. anyway the slave said a vow to bring a wife to the son of abraham from family of abraham.
the rabbi included that in the story, the bible wrote that the slave "placed his hand under abrahams leg" why would he touch his leg? the rabbi explained: the holy place of the holy circumcision that abraham chose as an adult to cut himself.
i add differs from baby or child that is compelled and forced and does not agree nor "consent with understanding" the issues and harm from circumcision.
this story caused the "abraham" club.
everybody knows in western society we must not touch other people in the "bathing suit" place kuz the same reason the clothing for swim must cover that place, same nobody else touch it. an adult that touches a child there does deserve punishment and yes cut and blood is worse crime added to touch with measurable harm and yes also touches the place too. if 3 years in prison for touching then touching with cutting should be three plus double six years total 9 in prison fed only water. until thin, and low range of body mass per hiet then also dry bread once per day.
4 back to the story: an older boy not named jakob was starting fifth grade. apparently nobody in fifth grade agreed to join his club so he asked 3 younger kids. i heard about the club from a young boy in my class year, not named isac. we will see that isac had been in the club for a year, since pre-first and served in the club as "gaurd" meaning the lookout.
in first grade the rabbi told us to read and chant the hebrew words of praise to "god" meaning jehova of the jew. then rabbi left the room and no adult watched. the kids obeyed and chanted the hebrew prayers. until isac who sat at the desk near the door looked around the room and chose me. isac left his desk and book. he came and invited me to the abraham club.
we went to the secret clubhouse in the skool and another young boy, this one not named josef stood in the doorway making sure nobody saw the things we would do. isac and i passed the gaurd josef who was one year younger than isac so age 5 years kuz isac was 6. josef had a big brother not named jakob he was starting fifth grade and was already in the clubhouse with his younger brother josef the gaurd. isac explained that the club represents the respect for gods commands and this abraham vow bible story that we had heard that month, of the oath kuz otherwise they would not allow touch.
for honor the circumcision i was easily swayed, based on the story of the slave of Abraham in the "holy" bible, the same as the older boy had convinced the other young boys.
5 the oldest in the club not named jakob had already uncoverd his circumcision. i could see his stomach and some fuzz at the place where the soft tube hangs from the stomach. jakob announced in hebrew words the section that the slave put his hand under abrahams leg.
jakob did that action to isac age 6 in my class year when isac pulled his soft tube through his zipper. josef the gaurd was watching us so jakob hissed "look to warn if anybody is coming." josef obeyed. after the hebrew words, jakob said "this is for respect of the holy commandment" kissed the holy place of circumcision same as the vow or oath of the story.
next i uncovered same as jakob had rolled his pants down from his waist. jakob put his hand on the back of my thigh. the soft tube for waste liquid called urine responded with inflating longer. jakob kissed his soft lips on the place of the holy commandment. the soft tube was no longer soft.
jakob rose and announced "hail king arthur. you isac have found king arthur. he is the only one not soft so he is the king of the club." jakob rolled his sweat-pants back up to his waist covering his body. i felt relief that i would not placing my mouth on the place where the waste liquid called urine streams out.
however isac complained "i did not kiss yours yet". jakob explained that now we found a king so all members only kiss the king. isac whined "you kissed mine so i should kiss yours." jakob was silent. isac continued whining "i waited all last year to advance from gaurd to active service and now you kissed me and i dont kiss yours. that not fair". jakob comforted him that he would kiss the king. so isac kissed my holy place.
6 next josef the gaurd wanted a turn. isac said that last year when he was gaurd he could not do service. but jakob told his brother that if he showed that he was a jew, same as josef in the bible showed his brothers, then he could do service. again isac whined "that is not fair". jakob sent isac to be lookout and josef uncovered his circumcision show he was a jew. then jakob approved so josef covered himself and did the service kissing the holy place of the king. after this third kiss i covered myself.
jakob pointed at the bulge in my pants and said "nobody can know about the meeting. they will notice the bulge in your pants." so jakob taught me to do the exercise of leaning against the wall and sliding down to a sitting position so the weight stretched the muscles near my knees. within seconds the distraction caused the tube to return soft.
jakob hissed angrily that we must only read the "standing prayer" so nobody would notice that we were not in class during prayers.
isac and i returned to first grade classroom. jakob led his brother to preskuul and probably returned to his fifth grade classroom.
i obeyed jakob that day and only read the standing prayer. when the other brats stood from the chairs and read the standing prayer i started at the same time knowing that i had skipped, not read many pages that day in contrast to the previous months. those months I chanted the Hebrew prayers with the other students and did not know the excuse for punishment hits from the sadist rabbi those months.
the other brats read the hebrew faster than myself and finished the silent standing prayer blessings first.
the following day was the same as future days. the club did not meet kuz only once per month on inconsistent days for the secret. i started reading the prayers chanting loud at same speed but the silent part, everybody else read the hebrew faster and probably skipped words. this would all change in second grade when i tried to learn the meaning of the hebrew words. story in next diary.
to be continued.
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