meaning of hebew prayers

dear diary
for many years i read the hebrew words of jew prayer mindlessly yet aware that i did not know the meaning of the forin words yet accepting that the words were forin and no expectation to understand hebrew from age 4 until seven.
finally after the physical hits of the rabbi in grade one, in grade 2 i felt that i knew enuf hebrew to try and understand the prayers.
i knew by then hundreds of hebrew words yet the words in the prayers were the rare unused words. i complained that reading words mindlessly is stupid so my parents bought the book with both languages however the translation was so overly poetic that even the english was foolishly empty of any clear meaning.
i did not notice after several days of reading the translation that the translation of certain words were exchanged that taught me that the words were the same.
around one month after i started reading the translation in two languages the rabbi stole my book so that i could not understand the words i was reading nor learn new english words for the hebrew that i read.
luckily by grade 3 a student taught me that the jew tradition itself specified that prayers and blessings are "for whoever that wants to be"  in a separate category and not "every person wants" that so not truly obligation. yet sad that nobody emphasized this true idea and instead lies win as the students hear the lie "you must read these pages" when the tradition itself specified as above not obliigation but for the one who wants.
worse the most common word in prayers is easily shown "grammaticly wrong. that word is baruk.
to easily see the problem we can compare the grammar of the parallel verb.
wen i THROW a ball the ball "gets thrown" by me. the term is "zaruk" same verb form as baruk. yet god assuming god exists, as the praisers believe, sends the blessings meaning the person is "baruk"  got the result of the verb got the blessings as the bible said "isac got blessings". so we cannot reverse that god is the baruk since he is the giver that is backward both in the bad choice of words of prayers and in bad psalms. yet the mindless people obey the rabbis without thinking of the word baruk that they repeat so many times each day until only habit moves their lips as they plan the list of things to do that day... without a thought to the words that flow from lips now in america that is easy to start because kids dont know heberew and the surprise is even in israel where people speak hebrew and know the word "zaruk" they still say the word baruk wihout noticing the word is "gramaticly wrong" and typical of religion will ignore any evidence and insist that the religion obligates them to say that word therefore it must be correct when as above that is false. yes a rabbi in europe claimed the word baruk meanss source yet we see the use of the verb in the bibe as above in the story of isac that the word is wrong in psalms and later books.
how did i get the rabbi in first grade to stop hitting me?
 first i told my parents but the cruel heartless jews replied "no big deal we hit you too"
then i asked people which car was rabbi narkman and at lunch break before eating i watched that car saw that he used that car and later damaged it as a minor i could not be punished by law. so i said if you hit me again i will damage your car lights and that forced him to stop hitting me. for my parents i went to a nebbors house and called tthe police on them they shoulda done prison time... justice is that when they are helpless i inflict physical pain on their body but there cannot be justice.