tenth graders part 6

6 josh continues: after I ate the ice cream I left the shop on the street corner, and saw the street sign with the name of the address of kevin. I walked along this street until I reached the home. I saw a young girl sitting on a wooden porch along the front of the narrow house. she sat beside the door at the left corner. i walked along the red brick path from the sidewalk to the wood steps of the deck. I came near and saw the girl was reading she appeared to be only 5 years old.
i felt bad and even regret about my decision to separate from mary. all i had to do was lie that i would read and then i could have experienced something which i had never experienced before, the act she had offered and even encouraged. too late i had only realized now. i climbed the steps to the deck and asked kevins sister, what i already knew, if kevin was home. "yes he is with bert, what is your name". i told her and she said i should go and get a snack. i replied that i wanted her help to find a snack, so she put the book down on the small outdoor table and stood up. she was wearing short pants that were jeans denim and a shirt with a picture which i was not familiar with. her hair was blonde and something about her skin was special. josh felt like he wanted to bring her whatever she would ask for.
i asked myself is this proof that mary was correct saying, if she were white, i would read to assist her, but considered, this was specific to this girl and in contrast, i had felt nothing towards any of the girls at the school. josh recalled that he had doubt possibly he was gay so now this was a feeling related to this specific girl. it seemed wrong and josh even thought he must be sick, that a child too young for sex aroused josh sexualy. she was so small and looked barely 5 years old.
specifically the skin of her legs was a shade of pink that made his heart beat faster. i imagined i was hugging her and suddenly a small hand grabbed my hand. there was something electric and i felt sexualy aroused by her soft warm hand holding my hand.
then josh knew he was certainly not gay.
i asked her age and she said, i am 8 years old. she led me into the home. **note: [some readers will be aroused by the following section, although i am not describing contact, the way i read in a book by stephen king which described a dream with genital rubbing- despite the obvious difference, the story which follows may be a time for some readers to prepare a clean release by put on a condom as explained. if you do not have a condom perhaps be prepared so that when you feel aroused as you read be prepared to take a break and use a towel to rub and release male-milk from the male-finger, into the towel folded over and around the male-finger., or if you have condoms,
as read the next section, sitting alone ease the desire by emptying male-milk out of their male-finger into the condom and then removing the condom and rinsing it and depositing it in trash. it is a natural body function to have male milk and want to squeeze it out and can be done when alone and cleanly which is also a natural body function and not only for married people to squeeze out thye way married people do but natural to squeeze out alone or in a shower for example and may be relevant in the following section as explained.]
the girl pointed to the bulge in my pants and said "bee-nis" i was very shy that she noticed my man finger had lengthened in the way called erection and I blurted out "this happens often to boys". she said, "i want to see it" so i said that would get us both in trouble. she pulled my hand to lead me.
i saw the room with the television but a motion caught my eye and i twisted my head toward the motion instinctively. where the sofa had been empty and nobody sat actually a young boy was lying along the top edge of the sofa-back and was like riding a horse lying along the horse except riding he was bumping up and down. i imagined he was bouncing on his male-finger and that made my man-finger swell as i imagined the same sensation.
another pull on my hand drew me out of the room, away from that exciting sight
we had entered a door at the extreme left corner of the house at the end of the wooden deck and on my right was the room where i had seen the sofa and televison. nearest to me was the sofa whose back was like a horse and this sofa was like an island in the center of the room its back near to the far wall with a long mirror where i saw my reflecton and the eight year old girl and the invisible inner wall with the television. it was off.
now i had been jerked forward past the opening and on my right was a wall with hooks for coats to my left was the outer wall of the home and after walking along the wall, where the tv was, we reached another opening on the right, a room separate from the tv room with long counters and many cabinets. kevins sister pulled out cookies from a low cabinet while i took milk from the frij and she also brought a broad low glass. she said the bathroom is further in as she walked back to the wooden deck to read the book. i sat until she left the house but before eating the snack, i returned to watch the bouncing and felt the desire to rub my own finger.
to be continued