tenth graders part 5

as josh left school and walked out of the large double-door, he saw mary standing beside the door. she came close and looped her arm under his arm. josh noted that this contact did not arouse him sexually, which was a surprise considering he never touched a girl, this way, before. young girls had touched him, and even hugged him, but never same age with such close contact like this, and this was also different from the direct sexual contact, when he had been in the jewish religious school, not by adults it would be a crime for an adult to touch a child's male-finger but josh's experience was with young boys touching and that is different than mary because of direct contact.
the surprise increased that contact did not arouse himself sexually, especially to mary who had offered him to experience "the relations". yet josh simply did not feel it. there was an absence of feeling and no struggle at all. "perhaps I am gay" he thought rationally.
josh looked slightly up at the taller young woman, while mary smiled down at him.
josh offered to buy her ice cream and mary said that she wanted to pay for her own. josh thought she was avoiding prostitute-paying. if so, most dates the boy paid, was that in the hoppe of the relations and if so it seems like prostitute-payment and conveniently she wanted to pay for herself. josh continued this direction of thought: every marriage wedding, the man gives the women an expensive ring at the commitment of wife relations- so marriage is truly, truly a prostitution payment.
mary said "I need a big favor from you" josh asked "just how big?" mary explained that her mom was divorceed and wanted mary to read a long book, just to show mary was a "reader". mary explained that if josh would read ten pages, and tell her the story, it would save her time.
josh did not want to read for her, but first wanted to make clear he was not attracted to her.
although at first he knew logically, that it would be bad to miss his first opportunity, of a girl willing to do "the relations" that would be a wasted opportunity and perhaps mary was correct that it was pleasant, despite all this josh did not feel any attraction.
josh said "we will not make love today" mary replied "I knew you were a shy one, but you should not be shy. there is nothing to fear, I will tell you exactly what to do". still josh argued, "really, I do not feel it".
mary insisted, "stop your excuses, i understand it is your first time, so i will help you. there is nothing to be shy about- every parent does sex and you will see how fun it is.
Josh was easily convinced and agreed. "it does sound pleasant".
now it was time to reject the reading. Josh said that he did not want to read. mary was frustrated. "if i were [but she said "was"] white you would help me read" and complained that he was a racist because she was not white.
josh said "no, i just hate reading." mary insisted "if i was white you would assist me."
josh: "i see a person, when i see you, there is no difference"
mary: "I cannot stand racists." now josh took a blind guess "you only made love with africans" and mary replied that although this was true, still she pointed out "you are not african, so that shows i am not racist." now josh had an advantage. "i also agreed to sleep with you because i see a person. no difference of color.
"no, explained mary,  "the reading shows you are a racist i do not want even to eat ice cream with a racist.
josh was in shock but luckily they were near the ice cream shop. so josh bought himself ice cream and told himself i am not a racist. he decided that he would never hang out with africans anymore, because always be accused and suspected of being a racist.
after the ice cream cone with vanilla, josh exited the shop and looked at the street sign and saw it was the address where kevin lived.
to be continued=tbc