Sunday, May 30, 2021

harry and larry's tiger trip

 uniion but parents die soldiers use wepn too dangerous but a soldier gest child out tiger stripe drugd man weaker suicide excite win win
ONE
  "i HATE you" Larry hollerd at his pa. the nine year old suddenly grabd his glass of milk and angrily hurld it at the window as hard as he could... milk sloshed all over the wood kitchen counters and the glass shattered as it smashed the window. beyond the window the afternoon sun shown like gold on a calm sunny summer afternoon, in the end of june. he had wanted to throw the cup at his pa but knew he would get in trouble for injuring him. 
"i am sorry" pa gasped in horror at his sons reaction, as  they sat by the kitchen table. "so i can go?" larry asked. pa replied, "still no. what you will do is pay back the damage to the window." larry cussed in frustration.
Harry interjected, as he took the last oat-cinnamon cookie from his nephew's plate, "listen lil' bro', i will keep your kid out of trouble. he will be fine."
pa lookd at his ever-wild older brother and shook his head no. then pa left the kitchen. 
pa was almost 40 years old. his name was Barry Baswell and his dark brown hair already had some silver mixed in. he stopd wearing spectacles when he got laser surgery for his eyes. now that he lookd younger without spectacles, they did not distract him from  noticing the many deep wrinkles on his forehead. his eyes were brown like milk chocolate but his older brother had darker eyes like dark choklit and lackd gray hair.
the brat Larry was barely nine years old after his birthday on the solstice. his hair was somehow blond despite both parents dark hair. he had used his chore salary to buy the stylish haircut where the sides of his head above his ears were bald but the top of his head was short blond fuzz. long narrow metal spectacles covered his light-blue eyes. today all three were wearing the same color dark blue shirt with jeans. the only difference was uncle harry's white stripes across his shirt.
uncle harold baswell had remained single, except for a few occasional girlfrends, for decades, until he met his wife when he toured india. her parents rushed their wedding wen she reveald her pregnancy to them. however the newlyweds did not love each other and argued constantly. now harry had been visiting atlanta to get away from his wife in mumbai, india. on the solstice at the small birthday party that only had three white helium balloons and one cupcake, harry had  invited the youth to an international trip... to fly back with him to india to see the nature reserves for tigers. obviously larry was extremely excited about that and boasted to all his classmates that he was gonna see tigers in india... real live tigers.
as soon as larry had returned home from school, earlier this day, he threw his fifth grade math book and fourth grade literature book on the floor of his closet. he dragged out a small fabric luggage and started packing his white briefs and colorful tee shirts for the trip. he would leave with uncle harry even before the school-year ended on june 26.
pa was in his home office when the sound of the books slamming into the floor attracted him to his son's messy room. 
pa had opend the door and saw larry packing. "where do you think you are going--i'll tell you later.--no. we will talk about your trip NOW." pa demanded. larry protested "or else what?"
pa gazed intently at the blond brat. if he had talkd that way to HIS father b.b. senior, the ping pong paddle woulda slamd his jeans where he sat. now society has canceld all his "tools" of discipline. he cant copy HIS pa's shouting or else get blamed for traumatizing a child nor hit the kid the way HIS pa hit him... what tools did he have for "consequences"?
insted of shouting at the brat, the brat had shouted at him. the kid KNEW he was powerless. could he ground larry no tv and no chore money? last time he tried that larry refused to do his chores knowing he would not be paid... the groceries stayed in the car until pa was compeld to bring them in to the frij before the heat ruind them.
when pa told larry he was grounded, larry simply switched on the television after hearing he was not allowed... he knew his pa was powerless.
pa had an idea. "i let you choose your birthday present which you liked. i will confiscate it until yu pay back the window and act proper to earn it back.--it is mine you theif" larry shouted... but pa was still bigger and took the radio control for the remote control car. "i dont care i will not earn it back." larry shouted blazing with rage. to show his anger he lifted the small red sports car and smashed it into his bedroom window. the car cracked but the window survived this time. pa sighed. how can i reach these kids??
uncle harry came running and whispered "lil bro i will lend him the money for the damage, let me bail you out."
then to the brat "YOUNG MAN" began harry sternly you have crossed a RED line. that, [he pointed at the cracked red sports car] was your GIFT that barry bout for you and you insulted and degraded his generosity. that is INEXCUSABLE. you are coming with me for a LONG boring lesson for proper behavior. change into a proper fancy button shirt NOW and get in my car.
ever defiant larry spouted back "or else what?" like what are you gonna do if i disobey? "or else i wont lend you the money to pay back your father for the window.--i dont care i am not paying him--so now you insult MY generosity to calm the situation? after i invited you on a trip... what kind of MONSTER did you become??
that guilt trip workd... larry's blue eyes brimd with tears... he realized he was not only hurting his strict pa but even the nice uncle. larry sniffled and said "whatever". he blinkd his tears as he yankd off his collar school uniform shirt. pa gasped in a hissing whisper "no undershirt??" larry lost his wind to shoot back the words on his tong "stop bossing me." silently he yankd the top tee shirt from the luggage yank it on and blinking away hot tears ran from the room and straight along the narrow corridor to the kitchen and out the dor to uncle harr's car.
the back door was unlocked as usual and away from the adults eyes he sobbd in regret. he regretted cracking his car that he  DID love. he regretted insulting his wild uncle and as he sobd he did NOT regret insulting his strict pa. 
he sobbed for a long time. finally harold and pa exited the home. they hugd and then pa re-enterd the home. 
ma's sports car drove near them and parked. she exited wearing her hot blond wig. her spectacles were plastic rimd with bands of various colors. her brown eyes were almost invisible thru them. she wore her long silvery fake ear rings that day and her red nose stud sparkled in the sun. her shirt was a simple white sleeveless undershirt called a "wife-beeter" so thin that anybody could see her bra shape... even if it were white not dark cherry red. she climbed up out from her low tiny pale torquiz car. she rushd past not even seeing larry in harry's ford. he was relieved that she did not see his weakness crying.
for the first time he noticed his ma had "boobs" mountains... he must have seen them every day but never nticed until now as the red reflected from under the thin white fabric.
he tried t recall if he ever saw r drank milk from them but failed to recall.
she was gone before he finished these thouts.
harry sat in the driver seat f the ford. "did i fool you?" larry asked as he tilted down the mirror of the sun visor. larry gaspd "what? i mean i am sorry". harry chukled and added "that was to throw lil barry off. we are going to the AIRPORT now." larry sat shokd. then askd "what about the tee shirts i like?--you can buy everything yu need in mumbai.
harold drove the ford directly to the airport. he returned the rental car and they walked to the monorail shuttle. it rolled around the aiirport and when it came to the luft company they walkd out. harold showed his i.d. and paid to change his ticket. "get me two tickets to mumbai i dont care about stop overs." the agent said we got a cheap deal if you are willing to sleep over in frankfort and vienna and cairo." great change my ticket to that and get him the same i am his uncle and gaurdian. "silly americans we dont care about that... oh i must warn you about the baggage limit you mustt pay extra if..." but harold interrupted "no luggage... see?" the agent glanced and noticed no luggage.
he gave a card like a credit card to harry and larry. then harry's phone beepd once to indicate he had received the code for entering the plane. the plane was scheduled for half hour so they hurried to the gate. at gate 4 harry showed the code in the sms message and the swiped the cards. when it matched the agent in a neon green luft uniform put the credit cards in the drawer for reuse and waved them ahead to the tunnel. harry n larry ran along the "sleeve" corridor and enterd the plane. the last digits of the code were the seat numbers. in the bumpy rear. row 42 seat 9 and ten.
as they sat, in seats 9, 10,  harry's phone rang with the jingle of "jurassic park theme". "hey barry" harry spoke into the device. barry asked if they would be back for carrie's vegetable soup? "no way" started harold truthfully, adding the lie, "we are gonna have a serious chat over lame vegetarian food." playing along larry loudly shouted GRO-O-O-SS.
before switching off the phone barry told carrie "just a small soup for us and mary." then to his bro' "thanks harriet, for helping calm my brat.--DONT ever call me harriet" harold exploded... but the cellular had alreaady switched off. carrie made her dairy soup for barry and mary.
in the jet plane the engines revd and the crew started inspecting all the safety belts. "unbuckle that" sneerd harry so larry obeyd. then the steward with blond hair  approached and saw the hanging belts. "please buckle up--or else WHAT?" chorusd barry and harry together. the steward gazed in shock as the pair burst out laughing and buckled their belts  "sorry but you shoulda seen your face" explained the childish adult.
soon the jet sped and flew up from the atlanta international airport. for the first step of the trip across the sea to germany. harold said "if you fall asleep and wet your pants tell me and we will by you new boxers when we land" larry squinted like his uncle was crazy "i dont pee in my sleep--certainly not i meant the white cream that starts your age--what white cream??--when it happens you will know just tell me it is normal."
harold presd the call button and soon a steward came. "do you hve any magnet chess?" the steward smiled graciously and said "certainly or computer". harold thout then askd "does the computer version allow two humans?" certainly it has both solitaire and pair options so you dont need any  soldiers.--great please bring the compter version and charge my seat--no charge sir.
soon he returned with the tablet so harry and larry played chess until supper. uncle h offerd larry to redo some moves. "can i?" he replied doubtfully. "sure, we are not real opponents we just have a fun game."
finaly supper came. the kid meal was spagetti with ground ham balls in tomato sauce. a side dish of sliced hodo to symbolize the "frankfurt" destination, and strawberry yogurt for a sweet dessert. harold's meal was breaded turkey breast with melted mozzerella cheese. the side dish was lettuce salad and garlic bread. no dessert. h' slid the tablet into the slot of the tray and they ate silently. 
ten minutes after serving the meal, the man beside h' in the aisle seat, who was dressed as a traditional jew finally got his meal. it was wrapped with a special sticker KOSHER. larry sneerd but knew he was not allowed to criticize the boring diced tofu in cream sauce with lettuce salad and garlic bread. he whisperd to uncle aitch "i cant believe that LOSER wants to stay in his dumb religion" harold BURST out laughing and said "that was SUCH a dirty joke where did you hear that?" after blinking l' said at school.
then h'  turned to the guy who was glaringly jewish and said "hey rabbi khrakha nargila, do you want some chiken with your tofu?" the rabbi pointed to his  label "kosher" and moaned "stop mocking me you are harrassing me knowing i only eat kosher.--jeez you are WAY too oversensitive like those homos who say dont call us homos." the rabbi jamd a cube of tofu in his mouth and said as he chewed "at least i know you'll get diarea for mixing meat and milk." now it was H&L turn to moan. "you realy believe people get sick from eating this?--i would not eat it if you paid me ten dollars". harry thout and said "you are fascinating i will make you a deal lets switch places just for five minutes i will wear your religious strings for five minutes if you will eat one bite of chicken" and larry added "or one ham ball."
the rabbi agreed. he pulled off his religious rectangle from over his shirt. harry wore it so larry started a timer. then the rabbi moved his tray to larry who put one meatball on the pile of tofu. "are you certain i wont get diarea from this?--it is normal food it does not cause any problems." replied harry. larry added "the only problem is calling it chicken breast for a male chicken that does not lay eggs nor have nipples."
the rabbi chuckled and said "they should call it pecker pec-s". the two gentiles burst out laughing. at the end of five minutes harry puld off the religious rectangle to return it. the rabbi said "keep it as a souvenir. i cant trust my teachers anymore."
after they ate they signald the steward to collect the tray. then the lights dimmed so H&L continued their long chess games. they were both very skilled at improvising their soldiers and guessing the plans of the other. larry was so smart that he had avanced to fifth grade for math despite his 4th grade age and level in other subjects. finally larry dozed off and harry saved the game.
they slept a few hours and soon the jet was landing in frankfurt. the rabbi asked if they were christian "nope our parents were christian but we dont buy it--what is the main difference in faith?--oh that jesus is the same one as god--you know you got me thinking last night that i cant trust my teachers. so is christianity monotheistic?-- honestly i dont recommend it but yes monotheistic.--"how often do you have to go to church?-- well church is only teaching lectures only... so hard core go every week and my parents only christmas.--not every day?--nope.--man if you are monotheistic i gotta try it. what dont you like about it?--oh they get into our intimate life with rules about... um you know sex rules--but nobody can really CHECK if you obey them it is just preaching. i can handle that.--what is your favorite part about being a rabbi?--i like the songs but most of it is hard for me to relate to. now that i cant trust my teachers it is time to "taste a ham ball." H&L shrugd and continued the chess game.
the plane landed and the rabbi barfed his white tofu... on the rug before he could unfold the barf bag. larry boldly shot "you shoulda eaten the pecker pecker". harry corrected him "pec's pecs."
the rabbi said "i always vomit from plane landings that is why i have kosher gum. want a piece?--yes thanks" and harry pulled a strip of kosher gum from the package. he unwrapd it snapd it in two and gave some to larry. they chewed as they walkd off the plane. "yay no waiting for our luggage" cheerd uncle harry. our next step in the trip is tomorrow afternoon so we can tour frank furt and see the mine river--not mane?--nope they call it mine river.
part two the hotel and touring frankfurt.

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