Tuesday, May 11, 2021

fixing the story in smallville series premier

improving the STORY in smallville 1,1
altho a good summary matches the story, so fixing a bad summary should match the story, this time i improve the story which differ from a good summary and from the story. some ideas are FROM the story, credit but i altered some like non-canon fan fiction. especially necessary because  the writers of smallville MISUSED their writer position to ATTRACT audience using an exciting famous hero with powerful explosions just to publish their many bad ideas injected into many episodes.
1, the gray moon and the blue planet earth,  are aligned as rocks with random shapes, meteors fly by the moon toward earth. a symmetrical vee'ikl flew over the moon, its rocket blazing to push it toward earth. space aliens?  the sv has +the familiar superman symbol.
2, +a couple walked toward the glass door of a shop with a sign "Nell's flowers." they pass a young girl [should meet her before lex] who sat by the window, surrounded by many pretty flowers. she wore a shiny silver crown and a puffy princess dress. she held a long silver wand. +who? "Lana" the lady watching her called "your parents will be here soon." Lana smiled. the couple entered. +who? [must introduce characters!] The shop owner greeted them, "good morning Mr. and Mrs. Kent. which flowers do you want today?". He replied "Thanks NELL we will look round." she replied "Martha likes Tulips."
Mrs. Kent went to lana and said, "Lana, you are a pretty princess."--"I am a FAIRY princess..." lana corrected her, "see my wings? make a wish." ma kent shut her eyes... lana waved her fairy wand and granted her wish. Pa selected +various flowers.
3, a business helicopter flew over a farm field and was cruising over a road and a sign "welcome to smallville kansas." a man +encouraged his son "lex, i have big plans for you. one day you will manage a branch of the luthor financial empire." lex +gazed out the window.
4, the sv started heating up as it enterd the atmosphere friction heat glowd
5, in the field mr. l does business with a farmer, as they sign a contract. lex wanderd into the field and +soon saw a teen tied in place off the scarecrow. "call someone to untie me", said the teen. he only wore +jeans, but his bare chest had a large s on it. suddenly hot blazing meteors slam into the field and the blast +knokd lex DOWN. 
6, +at the flower shop, lana +told nell "look". nell led lana out toward her parents... as lana shouted "mommy daddy."  meteors the size of cars smashed into buildings and trucks. one tragicly killd lana's parents... it smashed into a truck which exploded in a huge fireball. more meteors damage more buildings. cars and vans explode, blasted up and crashing down. people ran in a panic as lana +stood holding her aunt nell's hand crying. nell +picked her up. 
on the road the kents were driving. as meteors hit the road he swerved off the road.
in the field luther searchd for his son calling "lex lex." soon he saw his sons orange +head  in the green. he carried lex to the chopper.
in the same field the kents hang, head down from their seatbelts in their flippd truck. a toddler looks in the truck to see them. they +unhook the safety belts and climbed out. they talk about the child. [i like the dialog at this point no alteration.]

TODAY +the yellow school bus drove near a farm. inside a farm house a teen handed the permission paper and askd permission to play football. pa said "clark you know why i wont sign". while clark discusd the permission,  the bus drove away. clark walked out and saw the bus afar. 
in the bus a girl paid her bet to a boy. "pete, you were right. he missed the bus today."
clark ran to school.
at school pete said +"chloe i want you to be my DATE at the dance" chloe shook her head no. --m11:00-- +"hey lana..." clark called but before he could cntinue, as clark walkd near lana her meteor gem necklace glowed green and clark stumbled. +lana  boyfrend came and imediately led her away. [if sick  delay flaw or not ill].
+at sm' general hospital, a teen boy opend his eyes and unhooked his plastic tube. he walked along a corridor... and out to the parking lot. he +flashed electric at a car to start its engine and open the electric lock. he drove to his home, climbed in a window and changed from hospital clothes to jeans. +as he left home he announced >"payback time".
a car +[FIRST] with the license plate "LEX" drove to the building "luthorCorp." after parking, a bald man climbed out.guess who?
>teams play football. lana and the cheer squad cheered the home team. clark was on a bridge [not at the stadium then!]
lex drove. an +approaching car was in his lane so he swerved and >hit clark crashin thru the rail into the water. clark pulled the unconscious lex out.
that night lana gave her green meteor stone necklace to her boyfrend. he wore it. 
the next morning he went to the other players and told them he chose clark to be scarecrow this year.
the lightning lad entered a mechanic shed and said "remember me?" the mechanic replied "we were just teasing you. nobody got hurt."
note: at this point the writers missed a chance to insert a MORAL dialog which would explain his violence. the writers of smallville  MISUSED their writer position attracting viewers using an exciting famous hero with powerful explosions just to publish their bad ideas. so i fix.
+"maybe i will tie YOU to a poll"--"no. dont even TOUCH me" warnd the mechanic waving a tool. +silently the teen approached. the mechanic added "it was just a +prank"--"here is a prank" concluded l.l. as he zapd the mechanic who fried. 
elsewhere [censored] clark +told his pa that a car hit him. "how is this possible?" pa said "you wont believe me unless you see it." pa led clark down into a cellar and showed his the space-vee-ikl. >clark shouted you shoulda told me--now you are old enuf to know." replyd pa. clark stormed out.
+m25
lana's boyfrend walked near clark and said "you are this year's scarecrow."
said "you are this year's scarecrow." clark collapsd as the meteor glows green. l.l. watched them ABDUCT clark and followed their truck. he watched to see what they would do.
the bullies puld off clark's shirt and dumped ketchup in the shape of s on his chest then they tied him to a post but before they lifted... "ENUF" hollered lightning lad and zapd at the group of bullys. lana's boyfrend +DIES with a pile of other bullies while the rest of the team of spectators fled in all directions. one ran along the road so l.l. drove after him and said stop. "i did not DO anything" insisted the football player. "precisely you did not stop the others so you are part of the crime." zap and another guy collapsed. he returned to the school and reported that many of the players are in a field. "something terrible happened" he told the coach. coach drove out to the field and untied clark. "return lana's necklace" gaspd clark so coach unhookd it and put in his pocket. then he went to the sherriff who came to identify the corpses. that year the game was canceld. clark faced l.l. and complained why did you MURDER them."--you should thank me for saving you from the bullies--true but you did not have to KILL them. "if you tell the sherriff you saw me do it, i will kill you too!" clark went and tld the sherif to arrest l.l. for killing the sport team. "what did you see?"--" i saw him zap lightning and kill all of them"--that is impossible you are delusional." sherriff did not believe him. 
note: this replaces the mass-murder story. the victim was killing the oppressors not everybody. the moral argument was about killing the bullies not about killing everyone.
coach gave lana her locket. clark met chloe who said "i know how much you like lana go comfort her." as usual when he neard the stone he collapsed. a different jock asked lana out for a comforting evening. the end.

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