details of the un-festive festivals

the un-festive festivals chapter one

the argument started on friday.

the year was 1982, when i had switched to a new school to avoid the physical hits from the rabbis as i wrote elsewhere. i was  now age seven in october first 1982. seven and a week. oct. 1, was a friday. 

we had spent the morning... i had spent the morning dragging heavy bundles of metal poles and heavy bundles of bamboo poles... because they were heavy and my lazy pa preferd that a seven year old  should carry the heavy poles not the adult... "child labor" laws do not protect home.

pa attached the poles of the frame while i went and carryd the folded and heavy canvas. he hung the canvas around the metal frame to build the jewish tent for the "festival of booths or gazebos".

for lunch we ate... nope. "i am not cooking today!" my ma hollerd in a stressed voice "i am working too hard cooking for tonight and tmorow. get OUT of the kitchen."

when i tried to grab a box of o-s called "cereal"  she grabd the box from me "out" she hollered in a stresd voice.

i tried reasoning "i can sit by the other table"... but she was so stressed out... jewish festivals were always far from festive. "dont argue with me". pa heard her hollering and i repeated "i can sit at the other table", he insisted "no, we must set the table for the festival meal"

i replied "we can set it AFTER..." but they interrupted "STOP arguing" in a stressed voice using the religious custom of separating dairy from meat as an excuse to deny me lunch. even prisoners only skip meals as a punishment but are given three meals but not my family.

pa's excuse "you will eat when i eat." so we set the dishes on the second table many hours too early and the table was unused for hours. and i suffered from hunger.

at 6 pm i askd for food again "you will eat when we eat" pa repeated heartlessly. he was not the one whose body was growing from four feet to five feet....tall as i was, he was like growing four feet to five feet CIRCUMFERENCE... he could skip meals he should eat less... but children grow and need "bricks to build" each and every day. not the same as adults. but i lacked the words for these ideas at age seven.

i begd "meal time is 6:30" we will be at prayers  from 18:20 til 19:30 and then walk home from prayers. pa repeated emphaticly "i SAID when W-E-E eat you can eat".

so i waited for many hours as they used religion as an excuse to skip my meals treated me worse than a prisoner in jail... when criminals deserve punishment my punishment was even when i did not do any crime.

finally at 8pm long after normal meal time they did the ceremony of bread and wine... not in the christian order but first grape wine... no alcohol for kids and grape juice is too sugary for kids only a sip for you. then the bread... 

that day i said "bread and water for the dungeon" as they handed me the bread. my ma freakd "i worked SO hard baking chicken and peeling vegetables... how dare you complain about bread and water" all these were true... and hollerd in angry even justified frustration...  still... also true was the time of the meal... those foods would not be served until after THEY ate fish whose fishy smell botherd me... and they ate soup that felt like water [to me] and not satisfying and i would wait more until chicken long time after the already late 8pm long after NORMAL meal time at 6:30... i reminded them that they skipd lunch... and they were eating gross smelling fish. pa chuckled and shoved the fish platter at my nose "if you are starving eat fish you cant say we dont offer you food."

chapter 2

the fishy smell botherd me and i sat in silence. as my stomach complained and i waited from breakfast at nine am until 9 pm, a breakfast that was probably quickly "burnt calories" from carrying those heavy bundles of metal poles and bamboo poles.

 finally i ate the chicken and vej. when they served the soup i wanted to say "water and bread" but held my tong kus if i was truly starving i would eat the gross smelling fish.

so that was my festive "festival" i was so "ungrateful" for the meat meal... served two hours later than normal time after skipping lunch... but i lakd the words to say prisoners dont suffer the way they made me suffer.

a week later i had learned my lesson... as the schedule repeated: ma doing her kitchen job of preparing the meal, pa setting the other table early, and i knew all the tricks and excuses that my cruel parents had used to swindle me out of the meals... 

so i went to a neighbor and asked what they were eating for lunch. THEY did not skip meals they ate vejtable soup with bread. i askd for a slice of cheese and they said "take two from the frij you are a growing boy". finally the rare jew who is not stingy... and who did not ignore, but even provided me with the words that at age seven to seventeen kids build growing taller. i doubted they were this generous to THEIR kids when they were my age but held my tong and ate the cheese and bread and vegetable soup. 

when i finished my bowl the hostess offerd me a second bowl and knowing the evening prayers would delay the supper i accepted. after lunch i offerd to help them SET their festival table with dishes and they squinted at me oddly, "kids dont do SUCH chores and anyway it is too early," said the wife. her husband added "and stuff can fall on the plates if you set this early." the wife agreed "so much dust every day... in just a few hour the plates would be dusty" true or not... that was the reason not to set the table early.

however supper occurd late again we went to pray from 6pm for an hour missing normal meal time but THIS time at least i had not skipd lunch... nor burnt the breakfast quickly with child labor of heavy poles... still bad to alter normal meal time... my fat parents could easily skip meals not only delay, and should eat less but not the age of building as above children build taller bodies and that naturally requires input.

the next day was worse.

chapter 3

the schedule was "common" every saturday morning. no toast nor fried eggs due to the jewish sabath. so insted "simple os in milk." same as during the week when eggs were allowd... but no time when rushing for school. next three hours of boring readings. "yay" no work on saturday... instead boring reading... hundreds of pages praising god for things i did not benefit from... quote "god is great so great beyond understanding... a very accurate phrase it was certainly beyond my understanding what greatness was there? in a god who behaved same as if he did not exist... strong? strong enuf to save but does not save the hundreds of annual murders in each city not to mention rape victims and purse snatchings home burglries etc. the scroll called mzuza did not prevent those... i guess it prevents the "spirits" and demons who you cant see anyway.

at noon we returned and ate lunch truly a banquet... for them.

 bread... which has no flavor. i recall that day we had acidy grapefruit which made my stomik feel burny despite only a small amount that i barely managed to scrape out of the yellow skin.

the fish that had a fishy smell. they liked it but i felt nausea but not enough to lose my appetite. after "joyfully singing" while i waited feeling starved, with acidy burn in stomik... suffering, finally an hour after meal time they served barley stew with potato and beef. how dare i complain... just about the delay. yet the truth was a delay and i did suffer physically.

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what would be the alternative?

****not three hours of boring reading. not fishy smelling fish... what if they changed the ORDER? first serve the barley stew, after it their fish and acid fruit? being considerate? we serve the food in the order we want not the order of a spoiled brat...

chapter 4

i recald the warning from a frendly older boy that the day cald "sim-hat tora" would delay the supper due to long dancing. i did not comprehend why finishing a scroll was a cause to dance? when i complete reading a book i dont dance.

since the day was saturday oct. 9, 1982 i expected to have an afternoon meal before the evening prayers same as every saturday schedule... between the afternoon prayer around 4pm and the nyt prayer... but due to the festival of dancing... the two prayers were grouped together. i asked a guy if he ate the "third meal"... the custom of shabat, he had not skipd it but pland, before the pryers due to the special schedule. i had misd another meal... stingy parents. but they woulda served fishy fish anyway... only "fish sticks" are not fishy but the religion forbids baking them fresh on saturday.

they prayed and stayed in the building until after sunset.

the problem was that mealtime was the same time as the sunset. jew prayers are before and after sunset delaying the meal unless you plan and eat before... but no food was prepared and if i wanted even "simple os in milk"... the religion forbade milk until many hours after the barley stew which as above contained beef.

a different jewish nebbor belived 3 hours was enuf wait, and i encouraged him that 3 hours is most of the "six" and in judaism "most counts like all" but he insisted that the total was 3 not 6.

so the normal meal time came and went as my pa himself missed meal time i imagined his excuse "when we eat you eat".

in his eyes that was probably reasonable but i knew his personality it was an OPPORTUNITY to enjoy my hunger. he could not HIT me anymore after i cald the cops for physical hits so this was almost as good.

an hour pasd after meal time and finally around 7:30 pm the cake was served. high sugar no cake for kids you will get wild... is a common phrase adults tell kids... i said we are skipping supper. "not we... i have fish. if you are hungry you eat the fish'. indeed the prayer place had provided a tray of fishy fish.

i was allowed one peice of cake... but to my horror somebody had used a fish fork to take the cake and the fishy slime was on it. gross !

chapter 5

finally the happy ending

i sat and watched the adults dance in a circle, while my stomik complained. they danced for what felt like a long time. three toddlers ran wild... yes sugar makes THEM wild... i watched the clok... the time felt like half hour between the five minutes on the clock as my stomik complained i had been warned this would happen but i had not prepared. the adults danced in a circle and were red with sweat so they opened a door to the cold october wind. finally after half hour on the clock the started the next cycle of songs... i knew six more cycles of prayer would follow and despaird "gave up hope".   i left and the rest of the story i published elsewhere... the suffering led to the most numerous pleasures in my life... minors doing stuff that adults say we must not do... minors doing stuff that an adult would be punished for if they were involved but both partners were minors.

i left the prayer house to walk home and eat... and saw the other kids running around on the grass in the wind. a girl taller than me age six wanted me to meet her sister.

i said "not now kuz i feel hungry." the girl was insistent and said we will feed you if you come.

i agreed. while the adults danced their ma sat inside watching the men dance in  circle... and the older girl explained she was age twelve and wanted to play a game.

we walked to their house near 240 street in new york.  they gave me a glass cup filled with alcohol wine for the jew ceremony which i read. they gave me... was it a bread samwij? or was that i different meeting? maybe beef stew with potato and carrots? 

they chatted about their new holiday dresses while i nodded and ate.

at the end of my meal... they did not eat... their parents had given them stew before the prayers.

i cant publish the next part, the rest of the story is like kiddy porn... no guilt on minors since all four minors were minors so we could enjoy with "impunity". no complaints for pleasures.