youngest memories

dear diary my earliest memory
adults know that a childs mind develops in stages and that a baby can recognize mom proving they can remember but those years are not stored in long term memory.
my earliest memory was something that i saw, i saw a white table below me. now i can compare that two years later my head was near the table top so i understand that at that time i must have been sitting in the raised "high" chair as common for two year olds. i looked over the table thru a doorway at the outer door of the home as it opened and my first memory is the emotion called fear as the man who had been hitting me with physical pain entered. so that is my first youngest memory of fear and pain. yes thank you dad for my first earliest memory. any events before that day i cannot remember because i was too young to store in long term memory but the fear shows that at the time i knew he had been hitting me before. can i do revenge? revenge is the action that god does as paul wrote so humans should not act revenj.
between that memory of fear and later days nothing special. just days same day after day. no memory of birthday celebration age 3 only at age 5 after i called the police on my ma for hitting me. that year the police forced them to make a party but not age 3 nor 4 nor 6 when the police ended their involvement.
i recall 3 stranj events in "day care" i must have been age 3.
wet jew cap, dirty mouth, and stolen pillows.
1 a gang of jew-brats, also age 3,  gatherd around me during a play time and said "you cant move if your hair is not covered" and then the tall one jumped towards me grabbed the jew-cap i had been wearing since waking in the morning, and ran to the window and threw it out the window. then the group all shouted in jeer tone of "you are different and lower than us" that "you cant move you cant move". i ignored them and ran to the teacher and said is that true? and she said yes you cant move so i stood still while the jew brats taunted saying "you cant move. while they walked around. the teacher sent her aid to get the jew cap for me and it was wet from landing in the small pool outside. the pool had rain water in it so the jew cap was wet and i did not want to wear it yet as the teacher said then i would be obligated not to move. so i was compelled to wear the water soggy jew cap. yay jew brats for another young memory. the tall kid ended up in the same school as me in first grade.
another strange memory from those unusual days because the common days are "forgetful" if almost the same, easy to forget, not in memory if almost same or which color shirt people wore day after day but a strange event was the first day of music class. i grabbed the tube like a flute and started to blow toots and one brat lafd at me saying "you just put your mouth on the flute that everybody else puts in mouth so your mouth is dirty and gross" and i felt very dirty and gross but realized it was too late so i kept tooting. the music teacher heard and came and said "every day we clean the flute for that reason, that kids put in mouth" so i felt relieved.
my third memory from daycare was a story my youngest "long memory" spanning several days in a related story because as before the other events were only brief memories of drastic change and strong emotions.
memory 3 the stolen pillow
each day at nap time i would lay on a fabric low cot simply fabric cloth stretched over and between the posts of metal. i recall that the pillow i brought from home was not soft nor smooth but the outside "fluff" material was scratchy. in hindsight it must have been wool. on the first day I liked to see it but later my face on it was bad.  i would lay my head on the fluff and feel the scratch and move my head to the fabric of the cot. yes i recall drooling and awaking from nap with the cloth near my mouth wet because my head was not raised on the pillow the drool slid out of the mouth and down to the fabric. this repeateed and somebody said "you dont use your pillow. i agreed so he grabbed it from my hand and ran out so i shouted "that is my pillow i brought from home." the other brats responded "you dont use it anyway" and i felt confused.
if i would take stuff or item from somebody else that wud be bad because need PERMISSION and i never gave it. i recall, now that in that past moment of confusion I was remembering [memory within memory] the other days not using the pillow.
a girl in the day care came to me and gave me her pillow. she was the only nice kid in the day care and i swore that i would marry her because she was nice. obviously a child swearing at age 3 is not a valid oath but that was the memory.
then the brats told the teacher that i stole HER pillow. so the teacher saw i did not have mine yet held hers....  hence she started yelling "you cant take other peoples pillows."
instead of saying "she gave it to me" i said "but a boy stole mine." and the teacher said "so what? just because one person steals you cant steal". then the girl heard and came and said that she gave me her pillow so i had not stolen. the teacher did not agree "you cant give him your pillow because you need one".
she was focused on me not the bad stealing of whoever stole from me despite seeing I no longer had mine. if stealing was as bad as she made it sound, then  she shoulda found the brat who stole mine but she treated me different even after hearing I had permission. that is called a bi, tch.
the young gal geniusly fixd both issues by saying "i will use his." then the theif carried my pillow back into the room and gave it to the girl.
when the bit,ch did not yell at the theif same as yeld at me I noticed and said "yell at the theif same as you yelled at me" and the other brats chimed in "punish him, he has his his pillow" but the teacher did not punish theifs. only if I steal it is bad not if I am the victim of theft.
from then the memory continued several days i used the girls pillow and each day returned it to her  traded the use and retrade. the days repeated the same hence forget-able.
so in sum fear, wet jew cap, dirty mouth, and stolen pillows.
time passed and i recall the first day in pre-school TOGETHER WITH together with first day at day care in next diary.