dear diary age 18

dear diary
around the year 1995 a man invited/recommended i study in jerusalem. i decided i would go so i asked my parents for money for the trip. they agreed however i told them that i was not certain if i should go now immediately or delay until the next school year. they were relieved that they had time to save money to prepare for the expense instead spend the money now.
i was torn on one hand by the dread of the harsh winter in northern states, mostly because of past experience in the cold winters i mean snow always wet my socks so  my feet and toes felt painfully cold all day even when indoors. this was my main concern althoe i also had no hood on the coat to protect my neck and ears from the cold and wind. i did not know that also in rainy jerusalem cold wet socks are painful even "50 degrees" not only when so cold to freeze water like snow stays frozen from the cold.
on the other hand i had met a young woman it would be nice to continue the intimate friendship  for a few more months. i prefferred to stay the winter with her.
how had we met?
1 around the year 1990 i finally reached physical maturaty later than other boys my age meaning did not have "wet dreams" until age 15. the book said it is common and natural for teen males to dream about girls and then wake up wet pajamas from male seed. an ancient book said it was possible from age 9 so i was 6 years late. well- that dream had no girls in it. i slept as usual in the school dorm like harry potter and  dreamt that i was in a large closet like walk in closet with many hangers each with coat and suddenly i awoke with wet pajama pants. i was not scared nor surprised however a few days later the urge to empty the tubes brimmed greater and greater and i could only hope the seed would leak while i slept because the book of jewish rabbis forbids teenage boys from squeezing out seed.
the urge grew day by day and surprisingly i awoke dry. this was very disappointing to wake dry instead of emptying the tubes during sleep as expected and common and the urge became so great that i could not concentrate on school studies. instead of daydreaming about girls during class like a normal teen i was distracted by the urge simply to empty the male pipes. so i decided to take a long walk to distract myself.
2 i walked outside and left the school campus. i walked the pavedd path and turned left because that is the direction to the shopping center. [a place with good memories from a different year but not for this story] this left turn was fateful because i passed two girls playing in the snow. the older one called out to me "you look cute" so i approached and said that i respect that she is spending time with her younger sister.
they told me their ages 9 and 19 years. i asked why they were not at school. the younger one said she had a sore throat so she stayed home from school with her big sister who had finished school the previous summer. she had graduated school. also that month she just celebrated her 19 birthday and now they were playing in the snow outside their apartment building.
i said i am supposed to be at school but i needed fresh air because i could not concentrate on my studies.
somehow the older girl understood what i meant and invited me inside to drink some hot cocoa. the lady [carol- but fake name to hide identity] cooked the hot cocoa while the younger sister [allison- also fake] brought me dry socks change socks.
we sipped the cocoa and chatted about carols stories of school but ali felt bored and left the table. carol encouraged me to take a hot shower. a hot shower on a cold day would be awesome.
i entered the room with the shower and undressed. i opened the curtain to the shower stall and surprise ali was there. i was so surprised. and shy. ali explained she had only seen naked boys her age and wanted to see big boys. well she had seen i let her enjoy the view and after a few minutes she left the room opening the door... and carol entered in her pink one-piece bathing suit obviously i was seksually aroused. she insisted that she wash my back and that was nice. next carol whho was the  older one said wash between your legs because i will teach you something new.
the younger sister had left while we stood in the steaming shower and the 19 year old lowered herself to unite in a very pleasant way which our culture does not allow details.
thus began a pleasant relationship which lasted until i was age 18 and continuing when older until around year 1995- so back to the decision of WHEN to switch schools- i wanted to continue that for one more winter. since she had no school, she was always at home while her mom was at work and her younger sister at school. when i felt the urge which was around 3 times a week i would not wait but instead i walked to her building to knock on the door hoping she was home. she was and she taught me many tricks. the age difference did not bother me. i must admit that once i cheated on her iintimate relationship.
althoe most of the weeks when i spent weekends with families off-campus i was loyal to the relationship- once i fell into temptation
3
one weekend like many others i visited a friends family. this time at night felt "the" urge. i planned on waiting just a few more days to see carol again but i could not sleep and the urge was so strong. should i just squeeze? that would be a sin. only if i could not resist in half hour i would succumb and squeeze like milking a cow. 
while i waited resisting the urge i walked and wandered around the house trying to calm down but even pacing the urge was too strong. i did not know but his sister was at ovulation which apparently led to what happened next. she heard me pacing and went out from her room and saw the bulge in my pajamas. we hid in the shower while she obeyed her chemicals that was fun. the next morning she acted noticably to ignore me because she did not like me. when she informed me she was pregnant i realized that she was only in the mood because of hormones but not because she was attracted to me. understandably her parents were furious at both of us and i could never visit that friend again. she did not plan nor use the pill to prevent pregnancy in contrast to carol. i kept the secret of the pregnancy until our daughter had a daughter and invited me to her birthday party. fun fact this girl and our daughter each became "gay" with other women.
so that was my cheating on the intimate relationship which i continued during the cold winter.
in january i told Carol i planned to travel out of the country in spring. i was hoping we would continue the intimate relationship until spring however once she heard that i planned to leave she broke up to find a new man.
a few months later i was in jeruslem. i was lonely until... one fateful day i walked to the pizza shop near the dorms and met a new lover... to be continued.