1 first day in pre-school
most days in preschool were the same repetition but there were a few unique moments that stand out
for example the first day-- mostly boring but unique-- i must have been ALMOST 3 years old. pa was at his job so ma escorted me to the first day we walked up the steps and i was surprised by the shiny railing it was so shiny i had never seen metal like that. and then i had to meet the children.
i was feeling special about the shiny railing that was the feeling it was shiny and smooth and rouned like a shiny pipe.
not feeling scare of the new place nor crying that i do not want to be there. later i would complain about school but not that day.
i met a really nice girl there. at nap-time i felt that my pillow was scratchy and this young girl offered to trade pillows so i was so impressed.
then there was the brat who grabbed one of my things and threw it out the window. there was the day i watched water- which we all know falls as rain climbed UP the inside of celery... wow but most of the days were same repetitive. i learned how to read english and hebrew and also heard bible stories.
ah the first time i realized i was shy.
i do not remember if there were many days of exercise in bathing-suits but just one day when i felt shy.
i was too shy to change into a bathing suit... everyone else had changed but i was too shy expalining i do not want the girls to see me in bathing pants.
now lets get exciting.
2 my first day at religious school.
many kids are age six in first grade but i would notice later i was the youngest in my class. as i entered "pre-first" a fancy name for preschool [i must have been ALMOST 4th birthday in 1979] the teacher gave us 2 religious books to read from. but WHAT were those books? i did not have the words to ask that i did not undersatand "who decided the things printed in them? who chose the contents and why those contents?
i asked the religious teacher what is the bible? he refused to give any description. is it stories to teach a lesson? is it scientific fact? he wouldnot say either way... first graders cannot EVALUATE "god said to moses" how would you check if that was true or not....
how about a great interesting topic which people refuse to write about.
did you know young boys have "erection" even before they are sexualy mature?
at around age 9 i would put on pjamas and brush my teeth and as soon as i lay in bed like a "pop-up" book the male finger pointed up. why? i did not understand but i did feel the urge to squeeze and "press back on the pressure.
my nature was "the wife must sit on top during coitus" but somehow i knew that the man must be on top.... at age nine?
so boring how about the day i tried to seduce an older sister.? no names.
i told her that i can "stay hard" longer than boys her age AND with no risk of pregnancy...
she ran out of the room in horror and i am shocked i knew that stuff so young but i did stay hard very long and much longer than my own abilities later in life...
eventually one night she heard me rolling around in bed. i did not know this would be a change in direction.
the following evening she brought a friend over to "do homework and sleep over". as usual i was on my back "pressing back" on the pressure... when i heard a sound by my door a froze but it was too late she had heard me awake and crawled on the floor to my metal bed. she whispered my name "tal" and i asked who is that... i thought it was my sister [fixed in editing] but the voice was different. she said a girls name which i do not recall. [i thought it was my sister but ignored the idea of incest]. the girl whispered i should extend my hand so i did she pushed my hand on her shirt covering a spongy soft breast. and explained this is called a boob. then she said i accept your offer [convincing me she was the sister whom i had tried to seduce- despite the different voice i thought due to whispering] i said lets try this so she climbed into my metal bed...
**beside me
then she suggested that her body was bigger so i should be on top but i insisted i enjoyed on my back more. she whispered that she was scared to touch so first we explored each other i felt under her long shirt-gown... her legs which she had not shaved and had long hairs far apart and continued up to where a boys male finger would be and i felt... only smooth stomach. i moved my fingers in small circles around her stomach back towards the legs and felt smooth stomach lower and lower until she sighed! wow i was good!
finally i found the place which i like to call "the man-hole' which matures from a small hole not a man hole until around age 18 when she grows... enuf...
at around 18 the hole is big enuf to finally be the size of a manhole when the teenager grows. her skin was very smooth and no hair in contrast to her legs and hips.
i felt soft skin and finally after discovering girls had no holes in the "front" tried between legs and found more smooth skin and a soft smooth slot. no hairs there.
i froze not sure what to do. she said "its okay put your finger in so i inserted my finger and felt around the inside was moist like the inside of a mouth and i could slide my finger all aroundd the inside then she asked if i was ready to insert my "rekshin" so i responded i wanted her to sit on it. in the dark room with only a bit of light from window she slid her hand along my shirt down to the pants and asked why pants on? i said the "rekshin' is already up and out.
her hand slid nearer to the flap of the pajama and indeed found it was up and ready. she rolled over from beside me apparently sitting on her knees and lowered herself onto the rekshin. then she slowly slid up and down and i lost track of time soon she was moving very fast and finally i felt a pinch from her inside and she sighed again.
next she rolled to the side and handed me a towel while she toweled herself dry.
my sister brought many friends to do homework but whomever... perhaps several had pleasure. it was so good "she" came back often. i enjoyed it because i was rubbing anyway and she must have enjoyed it because she came almost every week. until my parents said i would move to a dormitory.
NO WAY that i would lose this pleasure i intentionally failed my entrance exam to have another year at home with "her" at night was it my sister? or one of her "horny" friends or probably and more plausibly several. so now you know why i argued with the rabbi and wasnot accepted in 8 grade until 9 grade... [the neighbor on saturday in the next post.]
another interesting story is one boy named raymond [fake] he slept over on a weekend and said he could hypnotize me. i asked "if you could hypnotize me what would you do? he said he would tell me to uncover my genitals. so i lied that "i do not want you to see it but try to hypnotize me and see if you succeed"
after three minutes staring into his eyes ray asked me to uncover genitals and with experience "behind me" with at least one girl i wasnot shy. i did and as soon as that thing felt air "pop-up" book style and he did something really unique he pushed the male finger forward and it sprung back like a spring and vibrated that was amazing feelings... if he was an adult that would be considered a crime but he was my age. i guess he felt guilty and confessed to his parents and they never let him sleep at my house after that. but i had "her" almost every week from around age 8 "et" years until i moved to a dormitory school and...
met an older girl who said "you are cute" perhaps next episode.
Saturday, September 29, 2018
introduction "frozen" 2013
the amazing story and wonderful songs in the successful video "frozen" truly deserve praise and an introduction too.
the story begins with working in the ice and the warning ICE IS COLD AND DANGEROUS.
we meet a child who will be an important character later.
next we meet elsa who has super-human abilities to form ice- i interpret she changes the moisture naturally in all air into ice.
the story does not tell why elsa is different from other children and who is her parnts? are they the king and queen who who bring the sick anna to be healed?
i suggest an introductory legend.
THE LEGEND OF IDA
a poor farmer and his wife lived on the lords farm. they worked his land and served his needs the same as their parents had. the farmer was named lablin and his wife was named mea'or. as is common for parents meaor was swelling with pregnancy because a baby was growing inside of her. she complained that she looked fat but the other women scolded her that a baby is much better than extra fat. they urged her to eat more for the sake of the growing baby and not ry to get thinner because a baby is good and a baby is not fat.
[see post on this isssue a few months ago] her husband lablin was very lazy and was constantly getting whipped for not working in the farm.
lablin was worried that when his wife meaor would have the child then the baby would cry all night long and he would not be able to sleep.
he urged his wife to go to a doctor to killl the fetus before it was born. but she insisted that she must grow a family. the summer faded and the cold days arrived. a baby girl was born and the parents agrreed to name her IDA.
from the first moment ida cried like all babies.
she cried when she was wet she cried when she was hungry and she even cried when she was bored too. she cried during the day and the worst for her dad she cried at night.
dad was tired fomworking in the farm all day but soon after falling asleep the infants wailing woke him. he nudged his wife to go feed her... and silence the crying but mom said she might be wet go and wipe her dry.
lablin wanted to sleep and felt so tired and frustrated that he carried the new born baby out of the small room that they lived in. he left the land of the lord and wandered into the forest. ida howled but soon he was far from the other people.
he lay the newborn infant in the snow far from the lands of the lord and walked away smiling as the sound of her crying faded with distance and the howl of the winter wind was strong enuf to hide the cries.
now he would sleep in peace.
in the time it took to walk back to the farmland of the lord the baby was almost completely cold. the tears in her eyes were already solid like the unmelting snow piled around her.
then one of many demons poured his power into the baby and said i will use you for my evil plan. with this power the cold would not disturb her because she would be ice herself.
the demon named her debra and marked the name debra on the back of the baby girls neck.
then he carried the girl to the palace of king errik. the wicked and sinister demon swapped the infant girl with the two year old son of king eric.... who wwould be the one to inherit the throne. the demon took the son far away to a city near the po river.
debra the newborn infant cried because she was hungry and wet. the palace servants hurried to the room of the "criown-prince" and were shocked to hear the sobbing of an infant girl instead of the two-year old prince who usualy slept througgh the night,
they were horrified that the gods had changed the son into aan infant.
well he must be cleaned and as they removed the infants clothes they discovered that the infant was a goirl... the horror what evil to chane a two year old boy into a newborn girl! surely a dreadful withc nmust have done this.
the servants warmed cow milk and fed the baby girl but when the sppoon of warm miljk touched the babies lips it changed solifd like ice and the baby swallowe dit whole like a chink.
the next morning the servants told the queen that the crown prince had been changed by a witch into a newborn girl. feeling powerless the king named her ELSA and they instructed the maids of the palace to work hard to raise her as the crown princess because as born male he must be the next king even if now his body is girls. the maids nboticed the name debra marked on her neck but the king and queen had chosen the name elsa.
a few years later aanother hcild was born and the king hoped this would be a son so i man would take his place but to his chagrin this was a daughter who his wife named anna.
anna loved to plat with her older sister who had power to change the natural moistuure in the air into plentiful solid ice... until one night when anna could not sleep she awoke and went to elsa and asked her to play with the ice.... and the story continues as toild in th video "frozen" 2013 the demon was successfil preventing the first born son from being king in place of eric as the demon had wanted.
POST-LOGUE- the son turned out to be very angry and impatient and led some people in the region of the po river to a reckless battle in which he and his soldiers were butchered by the defenders.
the story begins with working in the ice and the warning ICE IS COLD AND DANGEROUS.
we meet a child who will be an important character later.
next we meet elsa who has super-human abilities to form ice- i interpret she changes the moisture naturally in all air into ice.
the story does not tell why elsa is different from other children and who is her parnts? are they the king and queen who who bring the sick anna to be healed?
i suggest an introductory legend.
THE LEGEND OF IDA
a poor farmer and his wife lived on the lords farm. they worked his land and served his needs the same as their parents had. the farmer was named lablin and his wife was named mea'or. as is common for parents meaor was swelling with pregnancy because a baby was growing inside of her. she complained that she looked fat but the other women scolded her that a baby is much better than extra fat. they urged her to eat more for the sake of the growing baby and not ry to get thinner because a baby is good and a baby is not fat.
[see post on this isssue a few months ago] her husband lablin was very lazy and was constantly getting whipped for not working in the farm.
lablin was worried that when his wife meaor would have the child then the baby would cry all night long and he would not be able to sleep.
he urged his wife to go to a doctor to killl the fetus before it was born. but she insisted that she must grow a family. the summer faded and the cold days arrived. a baby girl was born and the parents agrreed to name her IDA.
from the first moment ida cried like all babies.
she cried when she was wet she cried when she was hungry and she even cried when she was bored too. she cried during the day and the worst for her dad she cried at night.
dad was tired fomworking in the farm all day but soon after falling asleep the infants wailing woke him. he nudged his wife to go feed her... and silence the crying but mom said she might be wet go and wipe her dry.
lablin wanted to sleep and felt so tired and frustrated that he carried the new born baby out of the small room that they lived in. he left the land of the lord and wandered into the forest. ida howled but soon he was far from the other people.
he lay the newborn infant in the snow far from the lands of the lord and walked away smiling as the sound of her crying faded with distance and the howl of the winter wind was strong enuf to hide the cries.
now he would sleep in peace.
in the time it took to walk back to the farmland of the lord the baby was almost completely cold. the tears in her eyes were already solid like the unmelting snow piled around her.
then one of many demons poured his power into the baby and said i will use you for my evil plan. with this power the cold would not disturb her because she would be ice herself.
the demon named her debra and marked the name debra on the back of the baby girls neck.
then he carried the girl to the palace of king errik. the wicked and sinister demon swapped the infant girl with the two year old son of king eric.... who wwould be the one to inherit the throne. the demon took the son far away to a city near the po river.
debra the newborn infant cried because she was hungry and wet. the palace servants hurried to the room of the "criown-prince" and were shocked to hear the sobbing of an infant girl instead of the two-year old prince who usualy slept througgh the night,
they were horrified that the gods had changed the son into aan infant.
well he must be cleaned and as they removed the infants clothes they discovered that the infant was a goirl... the horror what evil to chane a two year old boy into a newborn girl! surely a dreadful withc nmust have done this.
the servants warmed cow milk and fed the baby girl but when the sppoon of warm miljk touched the babies lips it changed solifd like ice and the baby swallowe dit whole like a chink.
the next morning the servants told the queen that the crown prince had been changed by a witch into a newborn girl. feeling powerless the king named her ELSA and they instructed the maids of the palace to work hard to raise her as the crown princess because as born male he must be the next king even if now his body is girls. the maids nboticed the name debra marked on her neck but the king and queen had chosen the name elsa.
a few years later aanother hcild was born and the king hoped this would be a son so i man would take his place but to his chagrin this was a daughter who his wife named anna.
anna loved to plat with her older sister who had power to change the natural moistuure in the air into plentiful solid ice... until one night when anna could not sleep she awoke and went to elsa and asked her to play with the ice.... and the story continues as toild in th video "frozen" 2013 the demon was successfil preventing the first born son from being king in place of eric as the demon had wanted.
POST-LOGUE- the son turned out to be very angry and impatient and led some people in the region of the po river to a reckless battle in which he and his soldiers were butchered by the defenders.
Friday, September 28, 2018
introduction: "the bad news bears" 1976
when i was a kid i wanted to to see the video "bad news bears" about baseball! i could not. so now i read a summary and disover it was a three part series.
i feel that summary is in a bad order. instead i changed the order of the summary and all the details are already in the video not mine.
disclaimer: the ideas are already in the video, not mine altho i added my "interpretation" based on the events which might be wrong because i did not see the video but i only read a bad summary.
title: "bad news bears" 1/3 [first "third" of the series before second third in 1977 and final 1978. later in 2005 another version was published], 1976
introd. the BEARS is a new team added to the youth league [leag]. a lawsuit forced the leag to allow weak players. hence the kids who were rejected from other teams, are assigned to the bears. some are: a near-sighted kid who wanted to be a pitcher, an overweight kid who cannot run but could be a catcher, a dreamy fan of Hank Aaron and more. the new team's coach is Morris Buttermaker=b (Walter Matthau) who was a minor-league baseball player.
The bears play the opening game. they cannot even achieve one "out". when the score reaches 26 to 0 coach b forfeits the game.
coach b recruits 12-year-old Amanda Whurlizer (Tatum O'Neal), who does not want to play. he wants her because she is a skilled pitcher who he trained before she quit. the Bears start winning games and even reach the league-championship game. they will face Yankees, coached by aggressive, overly-competitive Roy Turner (Vic Morrow). tat will be a challenging game. can they beat the yankees?
SPOILER ALERT
a summary of the championship game and the conclusion, for those who LIKE MYSELF, cannot rent the video.
spoilers: coach t shouts directing his team that they should have "no mercy" so one yankees batter moves to get hit by the ball, [for going to first base]. later the yankees are in the field. Joey [Turner's son] is Yankees pitcher. coach T orders his son to "walk" the Bears best hitter, to prevent a good hit and limit only first base. Joey wants to try "strike-out" with good pitches. first Joey obeys with a bad pitch near Engelberg's face. coach Turner goes to the mound and slaps his son for being hazardous. [this is bad he should have punished his son differently and also swapped pitchers.]
next Joey has a new revenge he pitches a good one and Engelberg hits a "ground ball." it rolls back to Joey. he holds it, instead of throwing it to the base-men as revenge against his father's slap. Engelberg has time to run all around to score home-run.
Joey walks to his pa and drops the ball at pa's feet.
coach b is now less pressured because the good yankee's pitcher left and also the bears have a point. he swaps players giving everyone a chance to play. they work as a team keeping the yankees at 7 points and even reach 3 points.
the new yankees pitcher walks 2 bears. with the score 7 to 3 the next player "loads the bases" with a smart tactic: a bunt. if the BEARS get a home-run now they would be tying a four point difference 7-7.
the batter hits far and the bears run... scoring a point, then another... then a third and... the last runner [who was this hitter] gets "out". this ends the game. final score yankees 7 to 6.
conclusion: coach Buttermaker tells them they had a great season and that they can spray each other with his beers. The Bears cheer. even Lupus overcomes his chronic shyness enough to yell at the winners "Wait 'til next year!".
the bears shake the cans and spray beers on each other. this celebration is as great as if they won the championship game.
i feel that summary is in a bad order. instead i changed the order of the summary and all the details are already in the video not mine.
disclaimer: the ideas are already in the video, not mine altho i added my "interpretation" based on the events which might be wrong because i did not see the video but i only read a bad summary.
title: "bad news bears" 1/3 [first "third" of the series before second third in 1977 and final 1978. later in 2005 another version was published], 1976
introd. the BEARS is a new team added to the youth league [leag]. a lawsuit forced the leag to allow weak players. hence the kids who were rejected from other teams, are assigned to the bears. some are: a near-sighted kid who wanted to be a pitcher, an overweight kid who cannot run but could be a catcher, a dreamy fan of Hank Aaron and more. the new team's coach is Morris Buttermaker=b (Walter Matthau) who was a minor-league baseball player.
The bears play the opening game. they cannot even achieve one "out". when the score reaches 26 to 0 coach b forfeits the game.
coach b recruits 12-year-old Amanda Whurlizer (Tatum O'Neal), who does not want to play. he wants her because she is a skilled pitcher who he trained before she quit. the Bears start winning games and even reach the league-championship game. they will face Yankees, coached by aggressive, overly-competitive Roy Turner (Vic Morrow). tat will be a challenging game. can they beat the yankees?
SPOILER ALERT
a summary of the championship game and the conclusion, for those who LIKE MYSELF, cannot rent the video.
spoilers: coach t shouts directing his team that they should have "no mercy" so one yankees batter moves to get hit by the ball, [for going to first base]. later the yankees are in the field. Joey [Turner's son] is Yankees pitcher. coach T orders his son to "walk" the Bears best hitter, to prevent a good hit and limit only first base. Joey wants to try "strike-out" with good pitches. first Joey obeys with a bad pitch near Engelberg's face. coach Turner goes to the mound and slaps his son for being hazardous. [this is bad he should have punished his son differently and also swapped pitchers.]
next Joey has a new revenge he pitches a good one and Engelberg hits a "ground ball." it rolls back to Joey. he holds it, instead of throwing it to the base-men as revenge against his father's slap. Engelberg has time to run all around to score home-run.
Joey walks to his pa and drops the ball at pa's feet.
coach b is now less pressured because the good yankee's pitcher left and also the bears have a point. he swaps players giving everyone a chance to play. they work as a team keeping the yankees at 7 points and even reach 3 points.
the new yankees pitcher walks 2 bears. with the score 7 to 3 the next player "loads the bases" with a smart tactic: a bunt. if the BEARS get a home-run now they would be tying a four point difference 7-7.
the batter hits far and the bears run... scoring a point, then another... then a third and... the last runner [who was this hitter] gets "out". this ends the game. final score yankees 7 to 6.
conclusion: coach Buttermaker tells them they had a great season and that they can spray each other with his beers. The Bears cheer. even Lupus overcomes his chronic shyness enough to yell at the winners "Wait 'til next year!".
the bears shake the cans and spray beers on each other. this celebration is as great as if they won the championship game.
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
do you notice the pattern?
the pattern of "democrat" political party.
do you notice the pattern?
whenever the democratic people do not want a man to get a certain job first they try "due process" when they see that is not keeping trump and kavaniughh away-
they do what they hoped they would not have to do- bring a loyal woman who never ever accused trump or kavanaugh in the past... who will speak for the political purpose and say accusations with no pictures and only the political context... to accuse them, clealry based on the contyext only political desparation to prevent trump and kavanuogh as we see the pattern of trumps election and now kavanaugh.
we must punish the democrats for using such methods and recognize how evil they are. i mean if it were not a lie why did the girl not complain within a year? instead the CONTEXT is purely political and we must not only ignore the accusers and those but also harshly punish the accusers based on the political context. instead the republicans are accomdating "as if they are not saying political lies' those women alll deserve punishmant for politicaly motibated character accusations.
do you notice the pattern?
whenever the democratic people do not want a man to get a certain job first they try "due process" when they see that is not keeping trump and kavaniughh away-
they do what they hoped they would not have to do- bring a loyal woman who never ever accused trump or kavanaugh in the past... who will speak for the political purpose and say accusations with no pictures and only the political context... to accuse them, clealry based on the contyext only political desparation to prevent trump and kavanuogh as we see the pattern of trumps election and now kavanaugh.
we must punish the democrats for using such methods and recognize how evil they are. i mean if it were not a lie why did the girl not complain within a year? instead the CONTEXT is purely political and we must not only ignore the accusers and those but also harshly punish the accusers based on the political context. instead the republicans are accomdating "as if they are not saying political lies' those women alll deserve punishmant for politicaly motibated character accusations.
dear diary
some fun parts from my autobiography now that enuf time has passed that nobody remembers who i emt.
dear diary
i recall the afternoon when my mom gave me a diary to write in she wanted me to write my feelings
but iu was not 'born yesterday" and i knew her sick personality so the first hing i did was ask her if it was "private and as expected she lied that it would be secret i could write any secrte so iasked do you promise not to read it? and she promised not tp read it? do you trust her? adults lie all the time sucker.
so i had to decide what i should write to cathc her reading it
as soon as i write th eltter i ma was back in the room pestering me to write something "i am" so "let me see it" but you promised not to read it at that moment i felt like i hated her so i wrote "today i feell like i hate my mother". then i hid it under the mattress.
at dinner mom said "i am so angry at you for hating me.... now you know she is a liar she promoised not to read it.
did i say i hated you/ --"i have proof in writing"== after you promised not tpo readit and lied you deserve more than hate.
she ran out of the room and dad punished me for "makming ma cry' he would have hit me too... except the last time my parents hit me i wentto a neighcbors house and called the police on them and they were arrested and questioned and warned that i would go to a foster home.
so i vhave many gret stories to write in a diary and some worth sharing unlike a diatry but like an auto biography simply because i had such gross parents.
so here is an excitindg story
around age 16 years i started feeling very strong urges for sex. i was signifacant;ly ;ater than the boys around me some homosexual who invited me to join the gay club but i was not interessted in sex yet.
now around age 16 or 15 the bulge in my pants was almost constant and i could not concentrate on school studies so i would walk around pacing trying to calm down and everyone around me saw the bulge in the pants.
one afternoon a young boy perhaps age 9 came to watch because he had heard about the sight to see.
he sent a friend to call me tp meet him on the steps. as i turned the corner to go down some stairs he leaned his hands upwards with just a few inches between then about an inch from either side of my fly. the pressure felyt AMAXZING i wanted so badly tp squeeze with my own hands but thought that was bad so now i had some counterpressure and it dfelt sp good.
i told him my name and what city i was from [i grew up in new yrk city] and he made small talk like his name was peter [fake] until the sensation calmed and then he offfred me the deal of the cuentury
if i would let him put his male finger in my backdoor he would give me a twenty dollar bill of his birthday i rplied i do not need money and that sounds weird.
but fate had a plan my roommate raided my briefs drawer and was shocked thgat my size was so mucg smaller than his.
one fateful evening after the dormitory dinner of chicken nad boiled peas a boy said that my roomamte from park heights [fake] wanted to meet me in the dorm room for a fun social freindship.
so i walked from the "mess hall" to the dorm and as i opened the door my roomamte grabbed my shoulders adn spun me so i fell onto his bed with my shoulders pinned and announced lets wrestle.
"no i dont want to wrestle get off of me" i protested and he did he flipped me over so i piinned his shoulder and then pointed out that he saw that my bried size was 32 which was odd considering i was not skinny and his were 38. and he was skinny i was mad that he went throuhgh the drawer but the fact was he felt i should buy bigger size briefs.
but i would need money suddenly the 20 dollar bill was just what i bneeed.
suddenly his arms slid from my shoulders down the sides of my shirt and towards my hips i leaped backward off him and said i am not ready for that now. i offered to meet him in the shower during hoemwork time.
skip ahead to the youth.
the next afternoon i searched for the nine yearold and named peter [fake] and said i will not accept cash but if he would go woith me and pay for the underwear i would let him insert for sixty seconds on the clock.
that night wwalked together off campus to the suit shop and i bought the mens small size of briefs many sizes larger than the timy briefs my parents had bought for me only because they had to...
the kid paid with his birthday present and i was tempted to say 'i tricked you" biut i was actually curious to see if he would realy do it.
so we went to the mall toilets and he stood on the toilet and opened his pants and took a "wipe" from his backpack and said clean his male finger. i said i am scared to touch it soi you clean it. so i watched him wipe from all sides and was syurprised that it stayed soft. my own finger was bulging. apparently because my briefs were to small and were pressing too much. then he said time to clean you and i faced my back to the 9 year old and he reached around from both sides to unbuckle my belt and open the button and zipper. then he slid the pants down my hips nad and slowlslid his hands up my hips
next he grasped the waistband and rolled it down my hips and said lean forward.
he reached in with the "wet wiper" and rubbed many times around the back door.
nexyt he put oil around it and that felt slimy and finally his soft male finger leaned against the rounded right side of my back as he leaned the pressure made his male finger swell and harder with his other hand he spread oil on my male finger i almost forgot to count the sixty seconds. as he slid his oiled ale figer in the back door slowly slding inward and at the same rate sliding his finger along my own extended male finger once he was fully inside he honestly beeped his watch for the sixty second timer and began sliding back and forth as he moved away hsi hand slid in teh same direction towards my stomach and then he leaned forward and his finger slid forward i felt so much p;leasure i lost track of time but soon he pulled out and it was time fr cleanup. he announced his surprise that no milk came out of me. said we need to meet again o he can milk me. he used the wet wipees to clean the oil from my back door and others o claen his male finger. thejn he held the new briefs and i stepped into them and slid them up they were much roomier stupuid parent buying me the wrong size underwaera if not for gay teenagers i would never have thought to buy a bigger size but more stories will follow if i have time to type now that twenty tears passed and nobody knows who those people are. to be continued when i get a chance.
dear diary
i recall the afternoon when my mom gave me a diary to write in she wanted me to write my feelings
but iu was not 'born yesterday" and i knew her sick personality so the first hing i did was ask her if it was "private and as expected she lied that it would be secret i could write any secrte so iasked do you promise not to read it? and she promised not tp read it? do you trust her? adults lie all the time sucker.
so i had to decide what i should write to cathc her reading it
as soon as i write th eltter i ma was back in the room pestering me to write something "i am" so "let me see it" but you promised not to read it at that moment i felt like i hated her so i wrote "today i feell like i hate my mother". then i hid it under the mattress.
at dinner mom said "i am so angry at you for hating me.... now you know she is a liar she promoised not to read it.
did i say i hated you/ --"i have proof in writing"== after you promised not tpo readit and lied you deserve more than hate.
she ran out of the room and dad punished me for "makming ma cry' he would have hit me too... except the last time my parents hit me i wentto a neighcbors house and called the police on them and they were arrested and questioned and warned that i would go to a foster home.
so i vhave many gret stories to write in a diary and some worth sharing unlike a diatry but like an auto biography simply because i had such gross parents.
so here is an excitindg story
around age 16 years i started feeling very strong urges for sex. i was signifacant;ly ;ater than the boys around me some homosexual who invited me to join the gay club but i was not interessted in sex yet.
now around age 16 or 15 the bulge in my pants was almost constant and i could not concentrate on school studies so i would walk around pacing trying to calm down and everyone around me saw the bulge in the pants.
one afternoon a young boy perhaps age 9 came to watch because he had heard about the sight to see.
he sent a friend to call me tp meet him on the steps. as i turned the corner to go down some stairs he leaned his hands upwards with just a few inches between then about an inch from either side of my fly. the pressure felyt AMAXZING i wanted so badly tp squeeze with my own hands but thought that was bad so now i had some counterpressure and it dfelt sp good.
i told him my name and what city i was from [i grew up in new yrk city] and he made small talk like his name was peter [fake] until the sensation calmed and then he offfred me the deal of the cuentury
if i would let him put his male finger in my backdoor he would give me a twenty dollar bill of his birthday i rplied i do not need money and that sounds weird.
but fate had a plan my roommate raided my briefs drawer and was shocked thgat my size was so mucg smaller than his.
one fateful evening after the dormitory dinner of chicken nad boiled peas a boy said that my roomamte from park heights [fake] wanted to meet me in the dorm room for a fun social freindship.
so i walked from the "mess hall" to the dorm and as i opened the door my roomamte grabbed my shoulders adn spun me so i fell onto his bed with my shoulders pinned and announced lets wrestle.
"no i dont want to wrestle get off of me" i protested and he did he flipped me over so i piinned his shoulder and then pointed out that he saw that my bried size was 32 which was odd considering i was not skinny and his were 38. and he was skinny i was mad that he went throuhgh the drawer but the fact was he felt i should buy bigger size briefs.
but i would need money suddenly the 20 dollar bill was just what i bneeed.
suddenly his arms slid from my shoulders down the sides of my shirt and towards my hips i leaped backward off him and said i am not ready for that now. i offered to meet him in the shower during hoemwork time.
skip ahead to the youth.
the next afternoon i searched for the nine yearold and named peter [fake] and said i will not accept cash but if he would go woith me and pay for the underwear i would let him insert for sixty seconds on the clock.
that night wwalked together off campus to the suit shop and i bought the mens small size of briefs many sizes larger than the timy briefs my parents had bought for me only because they had to...
the kid paid with his birthday present and i was tempted to say 'i tricked you" biut i was actually curious to see if he would realy do it.
so we went to the mall toilets and he stood on the toilet and opened his pants and took a "wipe" from his backpack and said clean his male finger. i said i am scared to touch it soi you clean it. so i watched him wipe from all sides and was syurprised that it stayed soft. my own finger was bulging. apparently because my briefs were to small and were pressing too much. then he said time to clean you and i faced my back to the 9 year old and he reached around from both sides to unbuckle my belt and open the button and zipper. then he slid the pants down my hips nad and slowlslid his hands up my hips
next he grasped the waistband and rolled it down my hips and said lean forward.
he reached in with the "wet wiper" and rubbed many times around the back door.
nexyt he put oil around it and that felt slimy and finally his soft male finger leaned against the rounded right side of my back as he leaned the pressure made his male finger swell and harder with his other hand he spread oil on my male finger i almost forgot to count the sixty seconds. as he slid his oiled ale figer in the back door slowly slding inward and at the same rate sliding his finger along my own extended male finger once he was fully inside he honestly beeped his watch for the sixty second timer and began sliding back and forth as he moved away hsi hand slid in teh same direction towards my stomach and then he leaned forward and his finger slid forward i felt so much p;leasure i lost track of time but soon he pulled out and it was time fr cleanup. he announced his surprise that no milk came out of me. said we need to meet again o he can milk me. he used the wet wipees to clean the oil from my back door and others o claen his male finger. thejn he held the new briefs and i stepped into them and slid them up they were much roomier stupuid parent buying me the wrong size underwaera if not for gay teenagers i would never have thought to buy a bigger size but more stories will follow if i have time to type now that twenty tears passed and nobody knows who those people are. to be continued when i get a chance.
Monday, September 24, 2018
what idea is "god"
in christianity god is the one who can clean sins and because we need that therefore we need god.
there are other ideas of god bot those ideas are easily refuted.
primitive humans thought that "lightning" happens because the god of lightning caused it. or the jews even today say the primitive "benediction" thank you god for for making the fruit of the tree or fruit of the land so primitive they did not know about "cells" but we do the difference between "dead grass" and a tree that gives fruit is the the tree is ACTIVE the cells of the tree are active building stuiff and thta makes the fruit- there is "nothing for a god to do" because the cell is doing it,
in fact the human farmer that waters teh plants and connects the river to the field with irrigation is the one causing it tp grow not god and we can prove that because if we do not irrigate or give the wrong aount of water the plant does and god does not make the plant grow when we put too much or too little water-
after this anal;uysis we see that the jewish idea of god is certainly wrong.
the dictionary said that "god is supernatral" so how would we test if that supernatural being is real? if we cannot est tthen it is as imaginary as the tooth fairy.
some people say it is "low probability" that chemicals could attacjh and form life- that is like saying "i d o not know how so the mystery of lightning proves the god of lithning and thunderbolts" yet when we consider the propbability of number on diece altho EACH number is low probability one in six for each number yet still CERTAINLY one of the possibilities will happen... one of the numbers will show
i only need MANYdice roles to show ALL numbers but still it is possible that the first role will be the one which is desirable
so when people say we neem "millions of years of evolution" that is false we only need mullions of years for ALL COMBINATIONS yet still the desirable combination possibly is teh first one.... i only need many attempts to show all the number of the dice however still if the number 3 is the one desired three dots it is possible that 3 is the forst one shown on the first attempt so the first moment it is possinble the chemeicals assembled into life the same as it is possible that the first attempt in dice is the desred one and that started cellls which are active as above and the cell builds itself there is nothing for god to do in nature so god is defined as supernatural but that is as imaginary as fairies
religious books say "if you sin it will not rain" that is atest- people sin and rain does fall proving the bioook is wrong.... so waht remains? ONLY the chrisytian idea of god remains that god cleans sin and since we need that we do not want to reject it.
the other ideas of god are easily refurted a natural god is nonexistent because the farmer does the action or the cell does the action. a supernatural god as descrivbed ni nenglish dictionary is as imaginary as fairies and dangerous dracula- do you hang garlic on oyour door to protect you from dangerous dracula? you cannot prove he does not exist so hang that garlic... only one idea of god remains the one which cleans sins and christianity wins.
truly the most poipulous religion on the plante is christianity because it is the only one which is "solid logic:".
there are other ideas of god bot those ideas are easily refuted.
primitive humans thought that "lightning" happens because the god of lightning caused it. or the jews even today say the primitive "benediction" thank you god for for making the fruit of the tree or fruit of the land so primitive they did not know about "cells" but we do the difference between "dead grass" and a tree that gives fruit is the the tree is ACTIVE the cells of the tree are active building stuiff and thta makes the fruit- there is "nothing for a god to do" because the cell is doing it,
in fact the human farmer that waters teh plants and connects the river to the field with irrigation is the one causing it tp grow not god and we can prove that because if we do not irrigate or give the wrong aount of water the plant does and god does not make the plant grow when we put too much or too little water-
after this anal;uysis we see that the jewish idea of god is certainly wrong.
the dictionary said that "god is supernatral" so how would we test if that supernatural being is real? if we cannot est tthen it is as imaginary as the tooth fairy.
some people say it is "low probability" that chemicals could attacjh and form life- that is like saying "i d o not know how so the mystery of lightning proves the god of lithning and thunderbolts" yet when we consider the propbability of number on diece altho EACH number is low probability one in six for each number yet still CERTAINLY one of the possibilities will happen... one of the numbers will show
i only need MANYdice roles to show ALL numbers but still it is possible that the first role will be the one which is desirable
so when people say we neem "millions of years of evolution" that is false we only need mullions of years for ALL COMBINATIONS yet still the desirable combination possibly is teh first one.... i only need many attempts to show all the number of the dice however still if the number 3 is the one desired three dots it is possible that 3 is the forst one shown on the first attempt so the first moment it is possinble the chemeicals assembled into life the same as it is possible that the first attempt in dice is the desred one and that started cellls which are active as above and the cell builds itself there is nothing for god to do in nature so god is defined as supernatural but that is as imaginary as fairies
religious books say "if you sin it will not rain" that is atest- people sin and rain does fall proving the bioook is wrong.... so waht remains? ONLY the chrisytian idea of god remains that god cleans sin and since we need that we do not want to reject it.
the other ideas of god are easily refurted a natural god is nonexistent because the farmer does the action or the cell does the action. a supernatural god as descrivbed ni nenglish dictionary is as imaginary as fairies and dangerous dracula- do you hang garlic on oyour door to protect you from dangerous dracula? you cannot prove he does not exist so hang that garlic... only one idea of god remains the one which cleans sins and christianity wins.
truly the most poipulous religion on the plante is christianity because it is the only one which is "solid logic:".
Saturday, September 22, 2018
equinox and equa-nox
in Nature we know the cycle of shorter nights and longer nights-- as the length changes we reach a point when the length of night is EQUAL to the length of daytime. this occurs on different dates in different cities i call this event "natural equa-nox" [to distinguish from "equinox" which means something else and is correctly spelled with letter "i" and is usually taught as september 21] for me the letters "equa" in "natural equa-nox" represent the equal lengths of night and day.
I begin the list first with a location "very north from equator" and near the artificial dateline:
named: City of Shishmaref, Alaska, USA because it is very far north and very near the date-line.
we should consider the length of sun-time on date 24, 12 hours plus 3 minutes hence if we think of "equal" then the night-length before it, is the same length. [in contrast the length of the night following it, is less: 12.01 so not "equal"]
in other locations this event occurs on different dates but see end-note, later. other cities in abc order:
canada/ottawa december 25 day-length equals its following night
egypt/cairo [one of the most populous cities in the entire nile continent] date december 27, has day length 12 hours
israel/jerusalem, december 26, day-length equals its following night. similarly china/beijing december 26 day-length 12 hours and following night has length nearest in length.
south-africa/johannesburg december 18.
sri-lanka/colombo the natural eqau-nox is not until october 10 when night length is 12 hours and day length equal.
*note; near the equator is very different because near the equator almost the whole year is "exactly 12 hour days" with only a few minutes difference.
I begin the list first with a location "very north from equator" and near the artificial dateline:
named: City of Shishmaref, Alaska, USA because it is very far north and very near the date-line.
we should consider the length of sun-time on date 24, 12 hours plus 3 minutes hence if we think of "equal" then the night-length before it, is the same length. [in contrast the length of the night following it, is less: 12.01 so not "equal"]
in other locations this event occurs on different dates but see end-note, later. other cities in abc order:
canada/ottawa december 25 day-length equals its following night
egypt/cairo [one of the most populous cities in the entire nile continent] date december 27, has day length 12 hours
israel/jerusalem, december 26, day-length equals its following night. similarly china/beijing december 26 day-length 12 hours and following night has length nearest in length.
south-africa/johannesburg december 18.
sri-lanka/colombo the natural eqau-nox is not until october 10 when night length is 12 hours and day length equal.
*note; near the equator is very different because near the equator almost the whole year is "exactly 12 hour days" with only a few minutes difference.
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