tenth graders part 7

camera
7 josh watched kevin's brother bounce on the couch. the young boy asked, "why are you staring at me?-- i am sorry for staring please tell me your name.-- adolf.-- what games do you like to play?-- why do you ask? you are not my age.-- while i wait for kevin i want to know you better.-- you are a weirdo i warn you we have a camera in this room.-- i will not hurt you now tell me what you like to do in your spare time?-- i like to play chess. adolf pointed to the box on the shelf. i heard footsteps overhead. the cookies were stilll waiting so i asked adolf to bring the game to the kitchen i ran around the walls, turning right twice and poured milk rushing to return the milk to the frij. that would have been emabarresing if he had noticed the milk getting warm irresponsibly.
josh was eating when adolf entered with the chess board and bag of pieces. adolf asked, "do you know who i am named for?" i replied, "for your grandfather"-- how did you know?-- that is how we americans choose names, for memory of the grandparents.
adolf announced "i want to be white" and i agreed. adolf grabbed one big piece and one small piece and put them on the board together,  and as he set up pairs, i finished the few cookies.
adolf moved the pawn, in the corner, which was in front of the queens rook. i was tempted to respond, but an important strategy is that i must "lead" so i ignored his move and moved my pawn of king forward two. adolf protested "hey! you are cheating a pawn moves one step" i comprehended that i should be on the same level and said "I am sorry" as i moved the pawn back. then he moved his pawn of rook one more space forward and suddenly as i sipped my milk i heard kevin say "josh come upstairs".
adolf said "if you go i win" and raised an eyebrow. i replied "you deserve to win this time until we play again a different day. i grabbed the plastic bag for the pieces but he stopped me and said "we worked to set up do not clear the board i need to practice for the school club" i felt horror, that i never knew that there were school clubs. i wished i had a variety of clubs when i was adolfs age but at least now i knew and could ask about them the following day. i also told adolf to ask about the "en passant" rule, then he would learn that my move was valid.
kevin was waiting, so i spiraled up the steps in the corner of the kitchen on the opposite side of the small corner bathroom, and stood in a long narrow hallway. i faced two rooms.  kevin led me to the door in the middle.
kevin knocked, which surprised me because it was his own room. bert answered wait.  
we waited, and soon bert opened the door and my eyes jumped to a darker area beside the zipper of berts shiny blue-cloth sport shorts. i quickly looked away and bert complained "what are you staring at" i told the truth "i am looking at kevin, and i did see you wet your pants" kevin shouted "it is not like that" except he said "it's"
i asked them "would it be okay if i joined you next time" so kevin answered the same words "it is not like that."
bert walked to a chair by a desk and sat down. i pointed out "you were dressed." bert shouted angrily, "of course we were dressed, stop saying the word dressed."-- i continued "so you two are not realy gay."-- bert shouted again "stop saying the word gay."
kevin said, "bert relax", and then to me, "what do you mean? of course we are gay, like we told you at school"
i explained that gay is something specific and anything else is not gay. bert responded with a  sarcastic tone, but not loudly "you call this not gay??"
i continued stubbornly, "kevin would you put your bean-iss in someones back hole?"
kevin shouted in a tone of horror, "even with a condom, i would not use the back hole"
bert started shouting again, "stop saying pea-nis, stop already stop already"
then i concluded my proof "that proves we 3 are not gay." bert shouted again "stop saying gay!" and then agitated but not shouting, added "i am getting out of here. bert jumped up and stormed toward the door where i stood and i retreated back into the narrow hallway and took a step to the window at the side corner. the window was over the bathroom of the kitchen level. kevin shouted "stop stay with us" but bert argued "i do not want to stay." kevin stubbornly replied "i want you to stay" but bert said "we are finished. i cannot stand being with you guys"
bert was so angry that he left the room without his bag, so kevin shouted i will bring your bag tomorrow.
bert ran down the spiral stairs down to he kitchen and the voice of kevins sister, named eva as I would learn later, floated up from the kitchen "why are your pants wet?" [except she said why is] and adolf, who as you must recall, was named for his grandfather explained, "some people are not toilet trained." we heard all this and eva's scream from upstairs.
suddenly the doorbell rang. we did not see but a face peered through the long window by the front door. kevin ran past me down the spiral stairs and i followed. he raced through the empty kitchen and turned left passing the small bath room in the corner, and continued around the wall to the door. ahead of him ran adolf following bert who was chasing eva. bert caught eva and pulled her hair again and she hollered. adolf jumped on bert trying to defend his sister. the face in the window hollered JESUS CHRIST !
Kevin opened the door and in walked a team of lottery news. a man with a film camera aimed it at bert and eva. a second man in police uniform held the bag of lottery money, and the lottery man wore a t-shirt that said "lucky lucky lucky"
this man grabbed bert, who had succeeded in shaking adolf off, and said "this is a citizens arrest"-- "do not touch me" hollered bert and eva together, but the lottery man held berts shoulders and repeated this is a citizens arrest. bert released evas hair. i blurted out "berts bag is upstairs". kevin ran around the walls to get the bag.
eva and adolf were crying in the corner, clearly traumatized. all this was caught on the cameras.
when kevin came bert said that is not my bag. the police ordered bert to open it.
i had not seen, but i blurted out "he has a knife inside, he should not open it, you should open it." the cop answered, "it doesnot work that way." and then ordered bert to open the bag for a drug search [later they would find a bag of white powder and follow bert to a supplier but not now]
bert reached into his backpack and his hand went in deep. it came up empty and he dug in from a different angle, pulling...
a knife. the cop was ready and smacked berts arm with his arm. the knife did not fall.
eva screamed "knife" and i screamed: "shoot already"
the cop aimed and said drop the knife. berts arm moved up over his shoulder as i shouted "fire" and heard the loudest bang that I had ever heard in my life.
 bert's shoulder burst into red, and eva screamed...
to be continued

ten men

plan: ten people in a house for one year
i believe it is good to have more children. i must choose how to plan my ten people. one possibility is based on familiar family structure so 5 men and 5 women like a family, by the end of a year i will have 5 children because they will pair up or not- lesbians will not get pregnant and my goal will not be achieved. their nature will be satisfied by a woman.
if so, 9 men and her nature will get her pregnant and she will certainly find one good man if there no women. at the end of the year i will have exactly eleven people, the nine men and one woman and her one baby that is not my goal and perhaps the men will kill each other over the limited resources of one woman i may have less than eleven.
for my goal nine women and one man.
by the end of the year i predict nine children. that plan seems the best for my goal.
**you will object that i cannot put ten people in a house for a year so no actualization.
this plan demonstrates a possibility for more children, if a family is not monogamy will have more children. if one man has four wives he will have more than twelve children but laws will punish me if i marry a second wife and even freedom of religion does not allow a second wife because freedom of religion does not allow immoral acts such as a second wife or cutting a baby with a knife in the name of religion.
also this plan reveals a nazi error- this is a different idea than continuity in a previous post
if the goal was to wipe out the bad races then - wait first i must challenge the idea of race because there is something called "human race" one race only and that is what i believe-
so racists are wrong and not just criticized as "racists" which society recognized as bad but also wrong there is one human race. those wrong people who separate the "asians from the caucasians and africans" based on skin color are wrong and also nazis were stupid in not thinking of the consequences of ten people in one room as above.
they were stupid not to plan "less mothers" and if use sealed chambers then "more" will fit in a defined space if they are small like little girls. the nazis were stupid in not prioritizing little girls which resulted in more mothers, when they lost- nazis never imagined they would lose the war and women survivors but even they failed to consider that during the time they are enslaving, more kids would be born to the the slave race. also kids cannot carry heavy stuff so little girls plan prioritize- or not
what about the claim of "schindlers list"?="who will polish the inside of small shells?" small boys of the correct race. they will miss school. based on the above, ten boys would be "ten men" who will have one women later or boys of the master race in shifts between tutors. i rejoice that the nazis lost to good and their error resulted in more women survived and the benefit more of the human race so let us all celebrate: that racists are not only wrong- because there is one human race, but also racists are certainly not the smartest ones in the human race.

natural male ejaculation

i do not know if it is common to discuss male humans rubbing themselves until semen the male seed comes out of the genital but i must describe the natural activity observed in pets such as dogs to comprehend it is a natural act in mammals which humans cam learn from and imitate even when alone.
regarding pets, "Masturbation occurs in "intact" and castrated domestic dogs. Apparently, brain centers that mediate sexual behavior are not completely inactivated by castration but are merely muted. Inappropriate mounting of peoples' legs and cushions, sometimes leading to ejaculation, is also expressed by some dogs and can occur despite neutering." i interpret inappropriate as both an instruction to the owner should protect the one being rubbed by removing the dog  as well as "different" than mating. this activity occurs demonstrating the natural desire.
if we can speak openly about our pets, then we can understand these described properties and attributes of human mammals and recognize these are natural body functions to produce and squeeze out. similarly we can learn from above quote and quote later below how human mammals think and feel, within the social limitations which often hide or compell a person to say theuy feel different than their true nature=which we can learn from pet behavior "Males are always interested in an opportunity to mate while the drive to mate is seasonal in bitches. "
source and more info at pet website
http://www.petplace.com/article/dogs/behavior-training/normal-behavior/sexual-behavior-in-dogs

tenth graders part 6

6 josh continues: after I ate the ice cream I left the shop on the street corner, and saw the street sign with the name of the address of kevin. I walked along this street until I reached the home. I saw a young girl sitting on a wooden porch along the front of the narrow house. she sat beside the door at the left corner. i walked along the red brick path from the sidewalk to the wood steps of the deck. I came near and saw the girl was reading she appeared to be only 5 years old.
i felt bad and even regret about my decision to separate from mary. all i had to do was lie that i would read and then i could have experienced something which i had never experienced before, the act she had offered and even encouraged. too late i had only realized now. i climbed the steps to the deck and asked kevins sister, what i already knew, if kevin was home. "yes he is with bert, what is your name". i told her and she said i should go and get a snack. i replied that i wanted her help to find a snack, so she put the book down on the small outdoor table and stood up. she was wearing short pants that were jeans denim and a shirt with a picture which i was not familiar with. her hair was blonde and something about her skin was special. josh felt like he wanted to bring her whatever she would ask for.
i asked myself is this proof that mary was correct saying, if she were white, i would read to assist her, but considered, this was specific to this girl and in contrast, i had felt nothing towards any of the girls at the school. josh recalled that he had doubt possibly he was gay so now this was a feeling related to this specific girl. it seemed wrong and josh even thought he must be sick, that a child too young for sex aroused josh sexualy. she was so small and looked barely 5 years old.
specifically the skin of her legs was a shade of pink that made his heart beat faster. i imagined i was hugging her and suddenly a small hand grabbed my hand. there was something electric and i felt sexualy aroused by her soft warm hand holding my hand.
then josh knew he was certainly not gay.
i asked her age and she said, i am 8 years old. she led me into the home. **note: [some readers will be aroused by the following section, although i am not describing contact, the way i read in a book by stephen king which described a dream with genital rubbing- despite the obvious difference, the story which follows may be a time for some readers to prepare a clean release by put on a condom as explained. if you do not have a condom perhaps be prepared so that when you feel aroused as you read be prepared to take a break and use a towel to rub and release male-milk from the male-finger, into the towel folded over and around the male-finger., or if you have condoms,
as read the next section, sitting alone ease the desire by emptying male-milk out of their male-finger into the condom and then removing the condom and rinsing it and depositing it in trash. it is a natural body function to have male milk and want to squeeze it out and can be done when alone and cleanly which is also a natural body function and not only for married people to squeeze out thye way married people do but natural to squeeze out alone or in a shower for example and may be relevant in the following section as explained.]
the girl pointed to the bulge in my pants and said "bee-nis" i was very shy that she noticed my man finger had lengthened in the way called erection and I blurted out "this happens often to boys". she said, "i want to see it" so i said that would get us both in trouble. she pulled my hand to lead me.
i saw the room with the television but a motion caught my eye and i twisted my head toward the motion instinctively. where the sofa had been empty and nobody sat actually a young boy was lying along the top edge of the sofa-back and was like riding a horse lying along the horse except riding he was bumping up and down. i imagined he was bouncing on his male-finger and that made my man-finger swell as i imagined the same sensation.
another pull on my hand drew me out of the room, away from that exciting sight
we had entered a door at the extreme left corner of the house at the end of the wooden deck and on my right was the room where i had seen the sofa and televison. nearest to me was the sofa whose back was like a horse and this sofa was like an island in the center of the room its back near to the far wall with a long mirror where i saw my reflecton and the eight year old girl and the invisible inner wall with the television. it was off.
now i had been jerked forward past the opening and on my right was a wall with hooks for coats to my left was the outer wall of the home and after walking along the wall, where the tv was, we reached another opening on the right, a room separate from the tv room with long counters and many cabinets. kevins sister pulled out cookies from a low cabinet while i took milk from the frij and she also brought a broad low glass. she said the bathroom is further in as she walked back to the wooden deck to read the book. i sat until she left the house but before eating the snack, i returned to watch the bouncing and felt the desire to rub my own finger.
to be continued

the mystery of light

we are taught in science light is a mystery because it travels like a wave and it travels like a photon.
well i did an experiment: i took two cartons of cereal and made slits in them. in the larger carton i made one slit and through the slit came the light like the shape of the light source=a long thin line of light the same shape as the light source, even the slit perpindicular to the light source, still the light coming through was long like the shape of the light source the same as when the slit was alighned with the light source so not a result of the shape of the slit.
similarly in the second box with two slits, when held perpindicular to the light source light came through the slits two rectangular wide lines each longer than the slit but this time fatter than the relative line when one slit.
if light was "how photons are described" then aligning the slits should result many small pellets of light to jump through the slit and again through the second opposing slit, like the total size of the overlap  ---  | totaling like a pin hole, however that is not what we observe occurring. so light is certainly not streams of photons going through slits.
in fact whenm the larger box with one slit is moved down away from the light source by me bending my legs a wave pattern appear is in the box showing light does mobve like a wave and not aphotons as we deducted above so only wave.
although a pin hole in a box has the entire shape of the long light source, not the same "shadow" of the hole, like a shadow but the reverse- as if my eye looked through the pin hole and saw the long light source so tthe line of light comes through the pin hol
in contrast two perpindicular slits are different and despite alighning the lower two slits to the light coming through the slit in the larger box, no light comes through this shows that light is only  a wave and not a photon because a photon would move through the slits like when the boxes were separate but we observe a wave the light coming through the slit is a wave which the slit narrows and then the slits below limit the other direction of  so light from the first slit has less in the x dimension and teh second slit norrows the y dimension so the wave stops. the wave and zero light passes through the double slits the way the light passed before showing light is only wave only and not photons.
so some ask, light cannot be a wave, how can a wave be in the emptinesss of space and that assumes the wave is mass, like ocean waves of waater which is matter and they are correct that light waves are not the same as water waves because wait and differ from slow soud waves because sound waves that cause ears to hear are matter vibrating and the matter of ear [drum] and air vibrate slower than speed of light however light is energy not matter so it moves in an electric wave which is not matter and can move both in empty space without matter empty of the 'so-called" dark matter because space is empty and also through air as we observe but not the air vibrating because light is not a wave like ocean wave of mass but electric wave without matter only electric.
in conclusion we can exclude photon because a photon of light would pass through both slits so light is only wave of energy not wave of matter and not packets of light and the scientific method assists us to reject both religion and science claims.

tenth graders part 5

as josh left school and walked out of the large double-door, he saw mary standing beside the door. she came close and looped her arm under his arm. josh noted that this contact did not arouse him sexually, which was a surprise considering he never touched a girl, this way, before. young girls had touched him, and even hugged him, but never same age with such close contact like this, and this was also different from the direct sexual contact, when he had been in the jewish religious school, not by adults it would be a crime for an adult to touch a child's male-finger but josh's experience was with young boys touching and that is different than mary because of direct contact.
the surprise increased that contact did not arouse himself sexually, especially to mary who had offered him to experience "the relations". yet josh simply did not feel it. there was an absence of feeling and no struggle at all. "perhaps I am gay" he thought rationally.
josh looked slightly up at the taller young woman, while mary smiled down at him.
josh offered to buy her ice cream and mary said that she wanted to pay for her own. josh thought she was avoiding prostitute-paying. if so, most dates the boy paid, was that in the hoppe of the relations and if so it seems like prostitute-payment and conveniently she wanted to pay for herself. josh continued this direction of thought: every marriage wedding, the man gives the women an expensive ring at the commitment of wife relations- so marriage is truly, truly a prostitution payment.
mary said "I need a big favor from you" josh asked "just how big?" mary explained that her mom was divorceed and wanted mary to read a long book, just to show mary was a "reader". mary explained that if josh would read ten pages, and tell her the story, it would save her time.
josh did not want to read for her, but first wanted to make clear he was not attracted to her.
although at first he knew logically, that it would be bad to miss his first opportunity, of a girl willing to do "the relations" that would be a wasted opportunity and perhaps mary was correct that it was pleasant, despite all this josh did not feel any attraction.
josh said "we will not make love today" mary replied "I knew you were a shy one, but you should not be shy. there is nothing to fear, I will tell you exactly what to do". still josh argued, "really, I do not feel it".
mary insisted, "stop your excuses, i understand it is your first time, so i will help you. there is nothing to be shy about- every parent does sex and you will see how fun it is.
Josh was easily convinced and agreed. "it does sound pleasant".
now it was time to reject the reading. Josh said that he did not want to read. mary was frustrated. "if i were [but she said "was"] white you would help me read" and complained that he was a racist because she was not white.
josh said "no, i just hate reading." mary insisted "if i was white you would assist me."
josh: "i see a person, when i see you, there is no difference"
mary: "I cannot stand racists." now josh took a blind guess "you only made love with africans" and mary replied that although this was true, still she pointed out "you are not african, so that shows i am not racist." now josh had an advantage. "i also agreed to sleep with you because i see a person. no difference of color.
"no, explained mary,  "the reading shows you are a racist i do not want even to eat ice cream with a racist.
josh was in shock but luckily they were near the ice cream shop. so josh bought himself ice cream and told himself i am not a racist. he decided that he would never hang out with africans anymore, because always be accused and suspected of being a racist.
after the ice cream cone with vanilla, josh exited the shop and looked at the street sign and saw it was the address where kevin lived.
to be continued=tbc

tenth graders part 4

we continue the story, JOSH new life. josh had met kevin and bert and they had revealed a secret which many would call embarresing as above. now josh will meet the rest of his class.
part 4
after several more classes on different subjects, at lunch time josh wandered from table to table and everywhere was told "this seat is reserved" the table where his new friends kevin and bert sat, was already full all 8 seats. so he asked a teacher what to do.
the teacher said, "I always wanted to make seating by grade and age not by clubs." the teacher, who wore glasses and grey mustache, wrote a note and sent josh to the principals office.
josh delivered the note and ate the meal in the office. in silence.
after eating josh went to the girl [who said she would help with math]. she was with a group of girls and said to wait ten more minutes. so josh sat beside the group of friends talking.
the girls in the group were talking about makeup, which ones parents allowed and which were not. then a boy and a girl passed and one girl with red hair said, in a critical voice "there goes Ester the slut". the other girls made faces and one girl with brown hair said "you are just jealous because you are the only virgin in your grade" josh interrupted her in an urgent tone "virgin is not a bad thing."
some of the girls giggled and one asked "thing?"
josh asked in true horror, "you mean all of you actually, you know, did it?"
an awkward silence but only for three seconds then one girl with thin black braids said that she does not know about anyone else, but she made love with four boys.
josh was surprised and asked "did you feel like they promised you and broke your heart?"
"no", she answered and explained that she had just wanted to feel the sensation.
then she added in a serious tone "I  liked it. you should try the sensation with me." the girls giggled just then eve said "josh, time to prepare for class"
josh hoped that the girl from the african race was not serious, although he was curious what the sensation of doing "it" was. all josh knew was that boys have a finger between their legs, like an electric plug to put in a hole, an act which jewish religion forbids a man putting into other men, while ironically allowing even the same act and same hole of a woman. even in the hole which is forbidden of a man- something very illogical because it is the same act.
josh asked Eve if she had tasted the sensation of relations, and she said "yes" while pointing to a boy with pale white skin, then she continued "but we broke up because he wanted other girls."
-
josh noted that in contrast to kevin and bert, who were different race-couple, the boy-girl couple was consistently white with white and african with african. the one who had hinted she wanted him could not be serious because josh was not african.  certainly not seriously offering him "the experience"
eve assisted josh in the math explaining from basic multiplication to the complex math and josh was very grateful. "how can i show my gratitude?" he asked.
she said that she liked nail polish but her parents refused to buy her a second color before she finished the first, pink bottle. so eve asked josh to buy some colored nail polish "that would make me happy."
during the study, the girl with long black braids had walked past and handed him a note. when they finished the math assignment josh unfolded the paper and read:  "i am mary and i was not joking" josh felt very mixed emotions because she was serious and on one hand he know it would be stupid to ignore an opportunity, especially one which he had never experienced, but on the other hand, he did not feel attracted to any girl, neither Eve, who helped with math, nor to this mary.
he felt torn between the two possibilities,  but just for a moment. then josh wondered, and thought "perhaps i am not attracted to girls because i am gay?" josh decided he should hang out with kevin and find out...
TO BE CONTINUED