Friday, July 29, 2022

fix bad presentation of peter pan

book critique peter and wendy book, peter pan
such an amazing story with flying children! and jealous fairy... and like treasure island: dangerous pirates. also fighting bad guys and even redskins! wow.
the tragedy is intense as the first chapters are extremely poor quality, objective order and sentence structure and bad charactar descriptions. the first chapters do not tell stories nor do the paragraphs and sentences even flow connecting ideas.
the descriptions of the characters are fragmented and the order horrid. luckily the week i was slowly started fixing the book worth fixing, i found the adaptation by Arneson.
his adaptation is admittedly i must confess even better than my attempt and he fixed the whole book so i recommend his adaptation for young readers better than the poorly presented original by an author who heard "great ideas from a kid" but lacked the skill to present them.
i will provide my repair so you can see not y as good as arneson.
__
contrast mine to barrie's bad and arneson better adaptation of the amazing story: "first Chapter PETER BREAKS THROUGH [simplified]
Wendy knew that she will grow to an adult. only one, peter pan would not. when she was two years old, in a garden, she gave a flower to her mother, Mrs. Darling. ma, wished “Oh, why can’t you remain like this for ever!” wendy understood that she can't but must grow up. she knew Two is the beginning of the end. [5] wendy lived at address 14. ma was a loveable lady. wendy would play with tiny boxes, one within the other. she opened many and found one more. [when i reached here i was lucky to find arnesons before i spent effort continuing. arneson did a great job so i stop and recomend his adaptation.

No comments:

Post a Comment