Dear diary, today i remembered how the religious bible led my first wife to me, when i was two years younger... when age five.
i could not tell this story until we grew up because you can imagine how our parents would react !! how would i react if my son did the stuff in the following story???
anyway, if parents knew what the religious bible can cause maybe they would avoid it... but for me i had a happy ending... to the series of events caused by the religious bible.
part one: the part i did not know: i only discovered later: a bag of hamburger buns came to school. the teacher taught them that their name was hamburger bun. one asked, "what does that mean? teacher said you will one day contain a hamburger."
she argued "if only later then that is not my name now." the teacher ignored her and taught addition. 6 buns in one bag and 6 more in another bag total twelve.
the hamburger bun decided that she NOW had that name and that purpose. so she "cut open" the bread and waited to heal and then bribed her brother to make a sandwhich between her breads. the hamburger was too hard and dry. but i did not know that story until much later as i will explain.
dear diary, my story in order of time: first i went to nursery. the boys were wild. one girl liked that i was not wild and she kissed me on my right cheek. we skip some of that story, to avoid delying this wife story but the relevant point is "i was a girl magnet starting when i was two."
i was born in new york somewhere, during 1975 by december 1975 i was not even a year old... until december '76. i was five in december 1980 in first grade when i first noticed the surprise that first grade coincided "first day of first month 1981 four ones for my class. i was the only brat who noticed. when i told the teacher she said that next years clas would also be first in 1981. a different brat said "but he said four ones 1/1/81".
a few months before that part, which helps me remeber years, i started first grade. each week the rabbi told us the bible story of the section that the adult jews read in the orthodox shul like a temple. around a month after the festival of huts, the rabbi told us the story of abraham with a surprising discovery. abraham told his servant his mission would be to bring a wife for his son isac. he must swear that he would bring from his own family. abraham ordered "put your hand under my leg" the rabbi explained that the oath was holding somethng holy "under the leg" the circumcision. i realized not only was the ceremony holy at that moment but years afterward the place remained holy. still i felt that this was against society's rules. however i could not find words to describe the issue. so i made the effort to find the words.
during the recess break i found an impatient brat. the one with the impatient look on his face. i interrupted his game and quoted the hebrew quotation to the student. "put your hand under my leg."
"PERVERT" shouted the older kid, "get away from me pervert". so i learnt the word pervert. then i started to call the "holy" abraham a pervert. many school brats heard the story and called me a pervert for asking... so i said i am as holy as abraham! if true that action was not "wierd pleasure." so two preschoolers took the opposing side and invited me to the abraham club. we would act out the story of the bible to respect abraham and circumsision place. i gaurded the door because adults would not believe we were acting from respect of the bible and circumsision... while the other two acted the story. then my turn came. a kid not named aron garded the door. "all clear" he urged. then the kid not named eli [elija] explained "today i am the servant. so you abraham uncover the holy place and i will say the oath." i obeyed and quoted the holy bible. he obeyed my quote and gripped the holy tube saying the oath. when he was finished he said "look his thing got long like an adult from now on you will always be abraham." then he kissed his hand and moved the kiss to the holy place. on aron's turn he only kissed his hadn and put the kiss on the holy place. i did not know that this would lead to talk.
after school i returned home while both my parents were at their job until 5 pm. but kids finish school before that. the lady babysitter was talking on the phone and talking and i was bored i interupted her saying "your job is to play games with me."
"not NOW", she hollered, "cant you see i am on the phone?" i waited and... waited... when would she finish whatever message she was sending? my boredom increaased. i interrupted again, "who is watching your sister?" the lady not named sara said "with her babysitter." i argued "bring her here! then she wont need a second babysitter." sara argued, "no way i am watching that brat. now get away i am on the phone now."
"what will i do?" i asked. sara said, "go take a bath." i argued that was before bed not now. "stop arguing, your parents said you need to listen so go play a game."
i went to one of the games and pretended i was two players... the color on the card showed to move the competing colored cars to the place of that color. the two raced along the path... who would win the race?
the next day at school we studied as usual much religion but the abraham club only met once a month. after school i drove home as usual and found a surprise.
sara had brought her seven year old sister, not named tamar. first tamar insisted that i drink a cup of milk. then she insisted that she would read me a story. so i sat and listened. all this time sara was blabbing endlessly on the phone.
tami then announced "will you win the secret sweet prize?" i wanted to win a secret prize. tami explained that she brought two types of candies in her backbag. if i succeeded i could win one of the secret sweet prizes.
yay! my parents never let me have sugar besides fruit while i watched the other brats eat cake and cookies and chocolates etc. and noticed i was different.
for winning i would need to follow the directions carefully. she pulled her dark blue stretchy pyjama pants from her backbag. she pulled them up under her long yellow dress. then pulled of the whole long dress so i saw she was the same as me from waist up... admittedly i was fatter. then she explained the rules: the humty dumpty game. i must pul the pj up like this and slide it side to side as i say hump-ty dump-ty sat on a wall. she showed me the sliding. then she sat on the "arm" of a sofa and repeated humpty dumpty sat on a wall. sliding the pants from side to side. "like this" she explained. then she jumped down and rolled on the floor" as she said "humpty dumpty had a great fall." she concluded if i did that i could win "secret sweet prize a" or if i did it perfect i would win secret sweet prize b.
next she pulled on her long yellow dress and pulled off the pj and also her panty white with yellow flowers. then she said "same as i took off mine you take off yours.
i ran to the bedroom to obey and swapped two layers of pants for the pj. i also swapped three layers of shirt for my pj shirt. then i returned to the game arena. tami instructed, "first practice." i pulled the stretchy pj up and turned it side to side... but for a boy that is different than what i saw her do.
"hump-" right "ty" left "dumpty sat on a wall." i felt shy that my tube was getting long and she could see my privacy bulging but it was covered. "perfect" she urged, "you might win the better secret sweet. now sit on the wall!" i climbed up the arm of the sofa and repeated the fabric moving, on the wall, the arm of the sofa, "sat on a wall and had a great fall" i jumped down and rolled on the floor." perfect you win secret sweet grade a!
i cheered "yay" because i did not yet know "yay me" until years later.
tami continued to the next phase of her secret plan which she would later tell me....
before you get your secret sweet... she paused dramaticly "choose either to double your prize or just get the sweet." i replied, "sure i will do it twice, for the double."
tami explained, i can choose if i give her permission to feel my pj bump she would double the sweets... of just get the prize. i wanted the touch... i did not even think about the sugar.... i nodded and she pushed her palm on the bump and then gently pressed her fingers, exclaiming "they were right about you." i didnot know she was refering to the abraham club until later. i did not even ask who i was enjoying the contact and attention.
when she stepped back i said "i feel shy that you can see my bump" she said "anyone can see HER bumps but they are covered same as you are covered." pointing at the room with the phone.
as promised she went to her bag and pulled out the sweets i had doubled and she gave me two packages. yay. then she asked "do you know how to say boy and girl in hebrew?" ""zakar and nkayva" i echoed the hebrew i knew.
she offered if you want you can use the "nkayva," meaning hole... this sentence was much easier to say if you dont say the english words. "you only have ten seconds to decide." i did not know that was a marketing trick. she pointed "put that" and pointed at her dress "in here". i argued, "i dont know how and i would get punished?" she started counting from ten less... nine et sev... before she could say seven i realized that sara would be on the phone so i would not get punished and i wanted to try something new. "yes" i agreed.
so we hid in the private room and i lay on my back and my first wife was two years older than me age seven. first i lay on my back then she covered me with her long yellow dress then she explained i am covered so i needed to give back the pj which i pulled off.
next she taught me what baby oil means "it is the oil used for making a baby on the place for making a baby." i nodded as she put baby oil on the place for making a baby. the contact felt very pleasant. finally she slid downward so the five year old hamburger slipped into the seven year old hamburger bun.
i felt pleasure and she moved around and i could see she was enjoying far more than i enjoyed, but soon my pleasure increased until i did not know where i was... a long time later... my brain switched on. she had stopped moving and said, "that was far better than eli," i echoed "that name is a kid in preschool. "i know, that is how i heard about you."
then she told me her story. she had heard that god created "zakar and nkayva" that was the distinction between male and female. she had an extra hole that defined her identity as female. [so she said and i agreed even if a lady must sever her breasts to prevent breast cancer] the hebrew word nkayva means hole. she wanted to use the hole so she bribed her younger brother, not named elija, to win the hunpty dumpty game. he was four and his hamburger was hard and dry. she felt extremely disappointed. despite she was older and bigger the tube was hard and pain. eli asked her "again" but she said no the tube is hard. eli told her about me. "you should try him. i know his is not hard from the abraham club."
that was the week when i went to eli's house for the weekend. but she was too scared and shy... and after i left she regretted that she missd her opportunity... until her sister who was my babysitter said "come along," which led to her plan. i wet her after school as above.
after drying off the baby oil she read me many stories. i asked her when we would do it again? she said maybe next week "dont be a smoker about it." later i understood that she was not a nymphmaniac.
each day after school i would feel excited hoping she would be with her sister. she brought a book from the library and read me the story... same as i had read stories to girls when i had been 3 in nursery. now i would hear advanced books. i waited hopefully for the next humpty dumpty show... day after day... i feared that she regretted yet remembered that she had enjoyed very much. finally i held myself back from asking. after a couple pages she offered, "are you ready for playing baby?" i was so relieved that she wanted repeating... and our relationship lasted all year... until she grew faster than me and no longer enjoyed. then she only read me stories until my parents came home from the jobs until 5 pm plus travel time. so that is how the bible got me my first wife.
usualy wives are younger than husbands i dont know why? when i was twenty i wanted a girl my age but my parents refused... and the one i wanted a different girl that i met before tami, got married before i started dating... due to that stupid rule. she was dating but could not date me. her pa even made the effort to tell me his daughter was dating... hint hint but i was not allowed yet. "only twenty" dammit! for many years i regreetted not marryig the one i wanted but now i console myself if we had a boy i probably would have "caved in" and submitted tp pressure to cut a piece off my beloved son against my will.so better that i did not marry any jewish lady.
do i have feelings for my ex-wife? no feelings only memories. the end.
i could not tell this story until we grew up because you can imagine how our parents would react !! how would i react if my son did the stuff in the following story???
anyway, if parents knew what the religious bible can cause maybe they would avoid it... but for me i had a happy ending... to the series of events caused by the religious bible.
part one: the part i did not know: i only discovered later: a bag of hamburger buns came to school. the teacher taught them that their name was hamburger bun. one asked, "what does that mean? teacher said you will one day contain a hamburger."
she argued "if only later then that is not my name now." the teacher ignored her and taught addition. 6 buns in one bag and 6 more in another bag total twelve.
the hamburger bun decided that she NOW had that name and that purpose. so she "cut open" the bread and waited to heal and then bribed her brother to make a sandwhich between her breads. the hamburger was too hard and dry. but i did not know that story until much later as i will explain.
dear diary, my story in order of time: first i went to nursery. the boys were wild. one girl liked that i was not wild and she kissed me on my right cheek. we skip some of that story, to avoid delying this wife story but the relevant point is "i was a girl magnet starting when i was two."
i was born in new york somewhere, during 1975 by december 1975 i was not even a year old... until december '76. i was five in december 1980 in first grade when i first noticed the surprise that first grade coincided "first day of first month 1981 four ones for my class. i was the only brat who noticed. when i told the teacher she said that next years clas would also be first in 1981. a different brat said "but he said four ones 1/1/81".
a few months before that part, which helps me remeber years, i started first grade. each week the rabbi told us the bible story of the section that the adult jews read in the orthodox shul like a temple. around a month after the festival of huts, the rabbi told us the story of abraham with a surprising discovery. abraham told his servant his mission would be to bring a wife for his son isac. he must swear that he would bring from his own family. abraham ordered "put your hand under my leg" the rabbi explained that the oath was holding somethng holy "under the leg" the circumcision. i realized not only was the ceremony holy at that moment but years afterward the place remained holy. still i felt that this was against society's rules. however i could not find words to describe the issue. so i made the effort to find the words.
during the recess break i found an impatient brat. the one with the impatient look on his face. i interrupted his game and quoted the hebrew quotation to the student. "put your hand under my leg."
"PERVERT" shouted the older kid, "get away from me pervert". so i learnt the word pervert. then i started to call the "holy" abraham a pervert. many school brats heard the story and called me a pervert for asking... so i said i am as holy as abraham! if true that action was not "wierd pleasure." so two preschoolers took the opposing side and invited me to the abraham club. we would act out the story of the bible to respect abraham and circumsision place. i gaurded the door because adults would not believe we were acting from respect of the bible and circumsision... while the other two acted the story. then my turn came. a kid not named aron garded the door. "all clear" he urged. then the kid not named eli [elija] explained "today i am the servant. so you abraham uncover the holy place and i will say the oath." i obeyed and quoted the holy bible. he obeyed my quote and gripped the holy tube saying the oath. when he was finished he said "look his thing got long like an adult from now on you will always be abraham." then he kissed his hand and moved the kiss to the holy place. on aron's turn he only kissed his hadn and put the kiss on the holy place. i did not know that this would lead to talk.
after school i returned home while both my parents were at their job until 5 pm. but kids finish school before that. the lady babysitter was talking on the phone and talking and i was bored i interupted her saying "your job is to play games with me."
"not NOW", she hollered, "cant you see i am on the phone?" i waited and... waited... when would she finish whatever message she was sending? my boredom increaased. i interrupted again, "who is watching your sister?" the lady not named sara said "with her babysitter." i argued "bring her here! then she wont need a second babysitter." sara argued, "no way i am watching that brat. now get away i am on the phone now."
"what will i do?" i asked. sara said, "go take a bath." i argued that was before bed not now. "stop arguing, your parents said you need to listen so go play a game."
i went to one of the games and pretended i was two players... the color on the card showed to move the competing colored cars to the place of that color. the two raced along the path... who would win the race?
the next day at school we studied as usual much religion but the abraham club only met once a month. after school i drove home as usual and found a surprise.
sara had brought her seven year old sister, not named tamar. first tamar insisted that i drink a cup of milk. then she insisted that she would read me a story. so i sat and listened. all this time sara was blabbing endlessly on the phone.
tami then announced "will you win the secret sweet prize?" i wanted to win a secret prize. tami explained that she brought two types of candies in her backbag. if i succeeded i could win one of the secret sweet prizes.
yay! my parents never let me have sugar besides fruit while i watched the other brats eat cake and cookies and chocolates etc. and noticed i was different.
for winning i would need to follow the directions carefully. she pulled her dark blue stretchy pyjama pants from her backbag. she pulled them up under her long yellow dress. then pulled of the whole long dress so i saw she was the same as me from waist up... admittedly i was fatter. then she explained the rules: the humty dumpty game. i must pul the pj up like this and slide it side to side as i say hump-ty dump-ty sat on a wall. she showed me the sliding. then she sat on the "arm" of a sofa and repeated humpty dumpty sat on a wall. sliding the pants from side to side. "like this" she explained. then she jumped down and rolled on the floor" as she said "humpty dumpty had a great fall." she concluded if i did that i could win "secret sweet prize a" or if i did it perfect i would win secret sweet prize b.
next she pulled on her long yellow dress and pulled off the pj and also her panty white with yellow flowers. then she said "same as i took off mine you take off yours.
i ran to the bedroom to obey and swapped two layers of pants for the pj. i also swapped three layers of shirt for my pj shirt. then i returned to the game arena. tami instructed, "first practice." i pulled the stretchy pj up and turned it side to side... but for a boy that is different than what i saw her do.
"hump-" right "ty" left "dumpty sat on a wall." i felt shy that my tube was getting long and she could see my privacy bulging but it was covered. "perfect" she urged, "you might win the better secret sweet. now sit on the wall!" i climbed up the arm of the sofa and repeated the fabric moving, on the wall, the arm of the sofa, "sat on a wall and had a great fall" i jumped down and rolled on the floor." perfect you win secret sweet grade a!
i cheered "yay" because i did not yet know "yay me" until years later.
tami continued to the next phase of her secret plan which she would later tell me....
before you get your secret sweet... she paused dramaticly "choose either to double your prize or just get the sweet." i replied, "sure i will do it twice, for the double."
tami explained, i can choose if i give her permission to feel my pj bump she would double the sweets... of just get the prize. i wanted the touch... i did not even think about the sugar.... i nodded and she pushed her palm on the bump and then gently pressed her fingers, exclaiming "they were right about you." i didnot know she was refering to the abraham club until later. i did not even ask who i was enjoying the contact and attention.
when she stepped back i said "i feel shy that you can see my bump" she said "anyone can see HER bumps but they are covered same as you are covered." pointing at the room with the phone.
as promised she went to her bag and pulled out the sweets i had doubled and she gave me two packages. yay. then she asked "do you know how to say boy and girl in hebrew?" ""zakar and nkayva" i echoed the hebrew i knew.
she offered if you want you can use the "nkayva," meaning hole... this sentence was much easier to say if you dont say the english words. "you only have ten seconds to decide." i did not know that was a marketing trick. she pointed "put that" and pointed at her dress "in here". i argued, "i dont know how and i would get punished?" she started counting from ten less... nine et sev... before she could say seven i realized that sara would be on the phone so i would not get punished and i wanted to try something new. "yes" i agreed.
so we hid in the private room and i lay on my back and my first wife was two years older than me age seven. first i lay on my back then she covered me with her long yellow dress then she explained i am covered so i needed to give back the pj which i pulled off.
next she taught me what baby oil means "it is the oil used for making a baby on the place for making a baby." i nodded as she put baby oil on the place for making a baby. the contact felt very pleasant. finally she slid downward so the five year old hamburger slipped into the seven year old hamburger bun.
i felt pleasure and she moved around and i could see she was enjoying far more than i enjoyed, but soon my pleasure increased until i did not know where i was... a long time later... my brain switched on. she had stopped moving and said, "that was far better than eli," i echoed "that name is a kid in preschool. "i know, that is how i heard about you."
then she told me her story. she had heard that god created "zakar and nkayva" that was the distinction between male and female. she had an extra hole that defined her identity as female. [so she said and i agreed even if a lady must sever her breasts to prevent breast cancer] the hebrew word nkayva means hole. she wanted to use the hole so she bribed her younger brother, not named elija, to win the hunpty dumpty game. he was four and his hamburger was hard and dry. she felt extremely disappointed. despite she was older and bigger the tube was hard and pain. eli asked her "again" but she said no the tube is hard. eli told her about me. "you should try him. i know his is not hard from the abraham club."
that was the week when i went to eli's house for the weekend. but she was too scared and shy... and after i left she regretted that she missd her opportunity... until her sister who was my babysitter said "come along," which led to her plan. i wet her after school as above.
after drying off the baby oil she read me many stories. i asked her when we would do it again? she said maybe next week "dont be a smoker about it." later i understood that she was not a nymphmaniac.
each day after school i would feel excited hoping she would be with her sister. she brought a book from the library and read me the story... same as i had read stories to girls when i had been 3 in nursery. now i would hear advanced books. i waited hopefully for the next humpty dumpty show... day after day... i feared that she regretted yet remembered that she had enjoyed very much. finally i held myself back from asking. after a couple pages she offered, "are you ready for playing baby?" i was so relieved that she wanted repeating... and our relationship lasted all year... until she grew faster than me and no longer enjoyed. then she only read me stories until my parents came home from the jobs until 5 pm plus travel time. so that is how the bible got me my first wife.
usualy wives are younger than husbands i dont know why? when i was twenty i wanted a girl my age but my parents refused... and the one i wanted a different girl that i met before tami, got married before i started dating... due to that stupid rule. she was dating but could not date me. her pa even made the effort to tell me his daughter was dating... hint hint but i was not allowed yet. "only twenty" dammit! for many years i regreetted not marryig the one i wanted but now i console myself if we had a boy i probably would have "caved in" and submitted tp pressure to cut a piece off my beloved son against my will.so better that i did not marry any jewish lady.
do i have feelings for my ex-wife? no feelings only memories. the end.
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