Thursday, January 6, 2022

alice in wonderland when "in wonderland"? d

query: from which point, in the story with title "alice in wonderland",  was alice "in wonderland"? and from when did the adventure begin?

we start the story searching for these answers and see several "missed wins". considering that the author himself said that "a story is bad if it lacks dialog" he missed his chance for dialog between alice and her sister! at least a bit! similarly we will see in chapter 3 a missed opportunity but there his flaw was bigger but we return to the query to answer it and offer a SOLUTION solution to soe flaws.

another flaw is the bad use of "very". before somebody is very bored they are already bored. the desire to to grab the reader with something extreme like a "hook" skipped both an emotion and a dialog... which is bad according to his own book. but we continue our search.

she saw the rabbit wearing clothing and loking at a watch that is niether an adventure nor in wonderland just near her. entering the rabbit hole is merely dirty not danger nor adventure. "padit gryaz!" is russian "i wanna get dirty."

when she FELL that is danger and adventure. also when she could put a jar "in a cabinet" indicates she already entered wonderland while she fell so before improving the story we can define that both the adventure and the "in wonderland" started when she fell.

now we can fix by adding a bit of dialog:

"chapter one the white rabbit

alice [plus picture on page 16 but half without table] felt bored. she asked her sister "please read me a story."

"not now." replied her older sister.

"why not?" argued Alice... trying to drag the conversation.

"because i must read this book for an exam."

[end page one due to picture and dialog. next page]

note: that fixed the internal flaw of missing dialog, and also the order of emotions.

"alice started to feel VERY bored. enough to look at her sister's book. she searched for a dialog but saw no conversation nor pictures in the boring book. alice heard the grass swish and saw a white bunny rushing by. he stopped and pulled a pocket watch from the pocket in his clothing. THAT was surprising. +pic on page 14. she jumped up and chased the rabbit.

she fell into a hole that she had not seen due to focussing on the rabbit. she felt scared and shrieked terrified as she dropped quickly and felt herself falling and heard the rushing air... but suddenly she fell slowly... slowly enough to see cupboards that she very slowly fell passed. she saw a jar and pulled it from the pantry. she was disappointed that it was empty so she put it in the next cupboard that she passed as she fell down down down.

she had time to think so she remembered her pet cat dina. finally, she landed on a large pile of leaves.

she hurried along a corridor searching for the rabbit and saw it turn a corner.

note: this skips the many thoughts and gets to wonderland. similalry in chapter 3 instead of quoting the boring section and missing the dialog "they talked ABOUT getting dry". these should be reversed. he reversed the methods and missed the dialog and instead was lengthy about boring stuff. we can fix this by swapping them "the mouse told them something boring and dry, until the eagler said "you dont know the words you are saying." instead reveal the dialog "about" getting dry and move the method of topic to the boring part. 

in summary he had VERY good ideas: a rabbit wearing clothing and looking at a watch... alice changing sizes... but ruined it by lacking dialog in several missed opportunities especially at the start of the book... and too much "thinking" just tell that she followed the rabbit until she fell into wonderland as described above.  without delay tell the wonders of wonderland not boring quotes from a dry boring book instead say "the topic was dry and boring" but they remained wet. oh and alice could not be DREAMING due to her FALLING when people dream they are falling we wake! so he wisely had her fall into wonderland! that was clever but sadly he ruined the bit of good with much more boring stuff and flaws.

sadly the author missed his opportunity but HAPPILY we have abridged versions of the book that select the amazing parts and i checked that they skipped some of the "thinking" to allow getting to the amazing parts.

also disney version in video 1951 is better, far better than the book. it motivated me to read the book but then i saw he=the author carol=dodgeson ruined it with numerous flaws as above. so the SOLUTION is to listen to an abridged version.


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