the summer-sacrilige story
the story is not in time order the earlier events are at the end in an endnote.
the story is about summer vacation like now.
at the camp, between my first and second grade during summer vacation in july like now, the head rabbi announced "in this camp rabbis are punished if they hit you or touch in the forbidden place so if this happens TELL me and dont worry about the sin called "lashon hara" this is a situation to WARN ergo correct to report and say bad about people."
kids told me that last year they caught rabbi after rabbi hitting kids or touching the forbidden place and the staff had changed almost every day as those who wanted to work with kids... were discovered and fired and replaced... [later i would learn that many interviewed and those rejected were replacemets for the "good" rabbi who were good enuf to get the job but got caught]. then we went to a pool in new york that the camp rented for use for one hour so we could swim... meaning only boy campers.
some brats splashed water in my face and they thought it was funny until i splashed back at them and then they complained and the lifegard criticized me "no splashing". i argued "they did it" then the lifegard said "now you are worse for tattling." i explained "i mean i thout allowed due to them doing it." but only i was bad for doing the same action that other kids did.
if they splash me tmoro what should i do? "dont be a tattale tale" i argued if that is bad they were tattle tales. the lifegard ignred me only i was bad not the brats who splashed me and who told on me... in his eyes judgement. if i was bigger i woulda pushed that lifegard in the pool... and then jumped on him.
at the ed of swim time i dont recall how i passed the time... we left the pool to get dressed.
the old men preparing before swim walked around naked and i learned what adult private parts look like. so believe me it is "neither pretty nor se xy."
we kids all brought "bath robes" and changed bathing shorts while covered by long loose robes.
one guy walked around dressed supervising us kids i wonder what he was looking for?
our bus drove us back to the empty school that the day-care was using and we ate lunch except myself i was not hungry but did want to ask the guy why he walked around the dressing rom.
i wandered around the dining room tables and did not find him so i left and searched the empty classs rooms. finally i found him in one class room eating a samwij sitting alone.
i asked him why he was looking at us dress and he said "my job included garding that no men touch your forbidden place." we talked about his many jobs he was around twenty years old not named nathan and he was hired to teach swimming to some kids.
i suspected that nathan was a "gay homo" who slept with men and that was the real reason he walked around the dressing room hoping to "enjoy the view" of some kids forbidden place. well he would not see kuz we kids all wore long robes when we switched clothing.
still i wanted to test my theory and thought of a test.
so i did something very naughty.... and sacrilige.
after he ate his samwij i told nathan that i want him to sit by the window so i could tell him a story and look out the window.
i was the filthy brat who who told him a story about the pilots who flew the war planes and shot the bad guys... a long adventure.
as i told the story i gripped nathans KNEE holding the muscular bone in my little hands and pressed MY pants against his knee. i had to manouver for my test. soon i was pressing my forbidden place on the bone of his knee and the pressure caused my male finger tube to inflate and get long. i continued pressing while i said the story and watched his pants and as i expected a new bump apeared in his pants. i had proven he was gay homo.
i asked "is my story about a lady" he answered no. "do you see any lady in this room--nope. i annnced my conclusion "then you must be gay you wanna sleep with me now when you KNOW no lady is here.
he denied that and claimed "i dont wanna sleep with you. i promise". but his body announced that he was ready for the action married people do and not due to any lady he was ready to do it with me... a boy... unless... so i asked if he thought i was a girl. "no. i can FEEL you are a boy" i understood that his knee bone could feel my male part. "well that proves it! you know i am a boy an your body is ready for s eks with a boy". he tried to explain "no. that is not why. when i felt your thing get hard mine also got hard." i argued that is exactly gay men. he argued no it was mimiccing copying.
i was not convinced but i did something even naughtier...
i grabd my victim, while i was a minor age five, almost six, grabd his bump, the fabric of pants at the new bump, at his forbidden place and pressd it. "you like that kuz you are gay" i said. "that feels pleasant" he whispered. i knew what to do and said "you push INTO my hole" and i slid my hands down his pole as if he was moving upwards... he gasped "my wife's" to correct my error. then i continued my sacrilige, rubbing up and down until he got soft.
i even felt an additional "pulse" before he got soft but did not know what it was. like when you measure your heart beat and feel repeating pulses.
i asked if he had a girl friend and he said he was not allowed to see girls. then i left the room and went to the next activity which was some game with a ball.
on the bus back to our homes i found my victim and told him he should notice where i live so he should come and meet my parents. he looked scared and said "i did not touch you okay? if you lie that i did i will tell the truth that you tuched me in the forbidden place." i promised i would not tattle tale... as the lifegard said, and that he should come.
i got off the bus and told my parents i invited a rabbi from the day care to meet them kuz he worked at the day care.
he probably rode the charter bus to his school dorm and studied rabbbi books until 5 pm. then he rode a city bus in new york to my home in the bronx.
he arrived on time at six pm. my parents met him and the adults talked until 630 and then we ate supper. beef burgers with cookd vejtibils. did i write cokd? no.
my parents had heard he lived in the dorm away from family and invited him as i expected and planned to be the gueest for the weekend... and since he was a rabbi he could not ride a bus... which operated on saturday in contrast to israel on saturday so he must return from the day care with me on friday.
my plan was woorkin i just needed some more helpers.
the next day at camp i went to a second grader and told him that i had discovered nathan was gay. he lafd and said "big deal so am i". i hadnot expected that.
his name was not gary gray. i wondered if all kids with g in their name are gay with a g? harry the homo... gay gary or gay greg or gay george but george sounded different like j, jorj.
i argued "i am certain you dont put your man finger inside the toilet hole." gary assured me that he was not "that much gay" just he enjoyed rubbing his own male finger... which surprised me knowing he was too yung to make a baby and i thought rubbing was only a pleasure if it was the age when that would lead to making a baby and gary was only age 7 in second grade.
anyway i needed him for my plan. i told him we were gonna black mail the swimming teacher nathan. we were gonna tell the truth he was gay and scare his students that n wanted to poke them in their toilet holes and that would scare the students away then we could convince him to let us milk him... if he wanted money as a teacher.
the next day gary and i swam around the pool searching for the kids who studied swimming. they were gripping the edge of the pool [see the word edge the letter e at the end changes the sound of g from g like get to the sound j like edj.] and kicking their legs. we naughty brats whispeered as a pair like two witnesses. i said "i know n is gay he wants to poke you in your back hole. the terrified student stared at me iin disbelief and when gary nodded... he believed the two witnesses and fled.
we repeated to each kid until all the students left.
then i did something very evil! i said to the teacher "you probly thout i cant control your money but i just did. i will only let you maake money and get your students back if you let me milk you like a cow." gary added "and i get MY turn once a week too."
i wondered why gary said once a week i thout we neeed to be like cows and milk cows every morning like the baby cow drinks every morning?
the rabbi said "twice a week serves his purpose and that he is grateful that i used a threat."
whatever. i explained my turn was on the weekend and gary would get a turn next week and then my turn on the weekend again" i said that based on the rabbis words twice a week serves his purpose whatever that meant.
thursday came and went and n had no students. friday also no students they were scared maybe they did not BELIEVE s despite two witnesses but f two came together to warn the then the DOUBT was enuf.
after day care on friday, our victim rabbi nathan rode the bus to my home as my parents invited. i imagined he was angry that i controlled his money but he seemed happy that i "served his purpose." i assure him that i will not tattle on him, nor reveal his real name... after all he under my blackmail.
friday afternnon we reached my home. he left the bus with me and we entered the home.
the holy rabbi offered: "you want now or later?"... keeping his commitment.
i had doubt "i dunno we could now but better when my parents nap tmoro."
the rabbi explained that sometimes he awakes wet in the morning so i might miss my chance.
i formulated a deceptive plan and we negotiated what he expected. he wanted like the first time from outside clothing while dressed. and... seeing the gross naked men i thout i should agree but.... maybe at his age twenty he looked different and i wanted to see so i said "no. if you wwant to earn money and get your students back then at least once i need to SEE EVERYTHING the forbidden part and the milk and i am gonna catch some and taste it.
GROSS he whispered urgently! so i asked "did you taste it ever?" he looked horror "of course not it is not milk!"-- i was stubborn and insisted "well i wanna learn and this is the best way." he was blackmailed and agreed to my extreme demands. he revealed that he was relieved that i did not demand to insert my lil male finger in his back hole. now it was my turn to say "GROSS people can only clean OUTSIDE around the hole. nobody can clean the inside!" i considered gay people enjoy getting there part filthy with waste whose smell is naturally repulsive so we dont eat our own waste. i woulda said gay men in a pair are worse than perverts but we are not allowed to say that whether it is true or not.
he replied that he had not thought about that. he only thought that such an action probably hurts the first time since the body is in the habit of pushing waste out.
i explained my plan that i would lie that i ended my shower... yes i showered at age 5 standing not like some kids who sit in the bath until they are twelve or 13. then he would enter undress and could see everything then i would milk him so the milk would drip on my hand...
the rabbi interrupted "not drip its gonna jump out so you should stand behind me so you dont get wet." i adjusted my plan to stand facng his so some woud jump on my chest and i could taste sime before showering the rest off. if my parents would know they would beat both of uss with basebabll bats and send my teacher to prison but it was the only way for me to learn the data that i wanted to learn.
sometimes scientists must make "big sacrifices" for new data... isnt that right??
so i entered the shower room whering my swim shorts... colored dark blue. as soon as i entered i screamed my lie so my parents woud hear "i am done showering who is next?"
since i knew my parents used the shower adjacent to their room no problems.
the rabbi obeyed the commitment and enterd the shower room he undressed and i gotta admit twenty year old men are s- ek- sy wow! that looked nice! maybe i was gay??
the hair which indicates maturity was tangled and distracted from the smooth pale skin that made my heart beat faster like a racing car.
but the hair was needed for evolution. we neeed to know when a wife or husband is ripe or else we will waste our time trying to make a child with a spouse who is not ripe for child. a lady can be noticed by her shirt bumps but men... the only way to know if he is ripe is if hair grows.
but if the hair grows... and i find the grows is gross for me then maybe i am not gay??
the instant his body was revealed his male finger inflated even before i could touch it.
i stood in the shower in my bathing shorts my back toward the metal pipes of the shower and he stood facing me and said "i grant permission if you really want but jeez why would you want??' it sounded like he was giving me a chance to retract since he had kept his sde of the commitment. but i needed to know. for science.
then i milked his forbidden place and within a very short time... less rubs than the day at day-care, milk pumped out from his stiff tube and splattered on my chest i continued rubbing until he changed to soft. "wow that was pleasant i wish i could ask you to do that in a few more days but i would get in trouble so no offers." i reminded him in a few days gary had a turn.
i tasted the milk and it was bitter. now i knew. then i showered off his milk from my chest that stuck like fruit jelly only not red jelly, whitish clear opaque and as butters said about many things including male milk "its all gooey". then i granted him privacy to clean himself.
i dressed and kept our secret. we did all the common stuff of religious jews on saturday mostly boring.
the next day at camp i told all his students that we found out we were wrong and the rabbi was a "safe one" so they returned to study swimming and the rabbi earned his money. on wensday i reminded gary that his turn was today but he said "i already had my turn and it was not what i expected i am not as gay as i thout i only like touching myself not others." well i did enjoy both the abraham club and i did feel exciting milking this rabbi so we repeated all summer for a few more weeks and on tuesdy i took gary's turn only the second and later times the rabbi was dressed and the rubbing took longer time. and if i enjoyed then that made me a pervert.... unless contact on "pleasure nerve cells" are natural and appropriate in whcih case i my evil sacrilige was not perverted. when i turned 16 i learned what "serves his purpose meant" and i wished i had a milker the way i had milked him kuz i believed that i was not allowed to squeeze myself... but luckily my struggle not to squeeze myself directly led me to meet a lady and we satisfied each other for several years until she started college. now that was considered a sin for religion but i considered my lady frend activity natural age appropriate activity. no regrets.
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endnote appendix: when i lived in new york city i was a naughty boy. my name is not toby. when i was 4 years old i started preschool-5. we sat at desks like first graders. the desks were in rows. i argued with the rabbi about two religious issues as i wrote in other blogs and the year passed boring.
in summer vacation i was still 4 so i was too young for summer camps... so my stingy parents told me. but in first grade the rabbi told us the story of abraham sending his servant to find a wife for his son iss-ac. the rabbi explained that the servant said an oath while holding abrahams "holy part" of circumcision. this idea taught me that the holy commandment is not only godly at the time of the ceremony but holy as a place for an oath even after the religious ceremony. at that age i was too young to think about ethics and pain and morality and...
consent of the victim.... lacking.
i had a feeling that the biblical idea was wrong and sacrilige... but i failed to formulate words for the problem... like i knew we cant touch other peoples forbidden intimate place. and that if an old tickled us there, he was bad and deserved punishment but lacked the words... so i did an expirement. i went to an older kid in fifth grade and said the hebrew phrase that "holy" abraham said "put your hand under my leg". the older boy knew the hebrew phraase and shouted "get away you pervert i dont wanna get in trouble." i argued that abraham was HOLY and he could say it. the kid fled.
all the schol buzzed about this argument. kids yelled "pervert" at me and now i had the word i needed i had harvested the information that abraham=bad sex-pervert. and the book genesis that "justifies" this bad sacrilige as an oath is a bad book filthy.
so i did not mind the shouts due to my success in getting the data. i searched for the fifth grader to thank him for the information but the brats in his class said that he switched school to public school and "because of you" they said he hates the bible and jew religion... so they said.
two young four year olds in pre-school-4 came to me and said that aabraham was holy and the word pervert differs it meaans someone with "strange methods of pleasure" but abraham was swearing an oath not pleasure. they wanted to start an abraham club to show that abraham was holy. they knew that adults would call them perverts so they needed a gard to be a watcher. as a child i would have included "a pair of men" in that category but today we can get sued for saying that whether it is true or not.
at recess break between study classes the pair led me to a secret hiding place and i was the gard by the door while they did the abraham ceremony that i did not see but knew was acting the story of the oath. i watched from the door and no adults nor rabbis nor ther students came kuz the brats were all running outside and the teachers were in their break room drinking coffee except the one recess monitor who watched the brats run and "broke up" the fights.
then it was my turn. one kid garded the door and the other told me to open my pants so he could say the oath i would be like abraham.
i was "naughty" and uncovered my forbidden place and he quoted the hebrew words of the story acting in action the story of abraham. then he garded the doorway and the gard repeated the ceremony. they decided that i would always be abraham and that we would meet each month for the abraham club. it only lasted a few months kuz once we proved the point we stopped meeting.
the story is not in time order the earlier events are at the end in an endnote.
the story is about summer vacation like now.
at the camp, between my first and second grade during summer vacation in july like now, the head rabbi announced "in this camp rabbis are punished if they hit you or touch in the forbidden place so if this happens TELL me and dont worry about the sin called "lashon hara" this is a situation to WARN ergo correct to report and say bad about people."
kids told me that last year they caught rabbi after rabbi hitting kids or touching the forbidden place and the staff had changed almost every day as those who wanted to work with kids... were discovered and fired and replaced... [later i would learn that many interviewed and those rejected were replacemets for the "good" rabbi who were good enuf to get the job but got caught]. then we went to a pool in new york that the camp rented for use for one hour so we could swim... meaning only boy campers.
some brats splashed water in my face and they thought it was funny until i splashed back at them and then they complained and the lifegard criticized me "no splashing". i argued "they did it" then the lifegard said "now you are worse for tattling." i explained "i mean i thout allowed due to them doing it." but only i was bad for doing the same action that other kids did.
if they splash me tmoro what should i do? "dont be a tattale tale" i argued if that is bad they were tattle tales. the lifegard ignred me only i was bad not the brats who splashed me and who told on me... in his eyes judgement. if i was bigger i woulda pushed that lifegard in the pool... and then jumped on him.
at the ed of swim time i dont recall how i passed the time... we left the pool to get dressed.
the old men preparing before swim walked around naked and i learned what adult private parts look like. so believe me it is "neither pretty nor se xy."
we kids all brought "bath robes" and changed bathing shorts while covered by long loose robes.
one guy walked around dressed supervising us kids i wonder what he was looking for?
our bus drove us back to the empty school that the day-care was using and we ate lunch except myself i was not hungry but did want to ask the guy why he walked around the dressing rom.
i wandered around the dining room tables and did not find him so i left and searched the empty classs rooms. finally i found him in one class room eating a samwij sitting alone.
i asked him why he was looking at us dress and he said "my job included garding that no men touch your forbidden place." we talked about his many jobs he was around twenty years old not named nathan and he was hired to teach swimming to some kids.
i suspected that nathan was a "gay homo" who slept with men and that was the real reason he walked around the dressing room hoping to "enjoy the view" of some kids forbidden place. well he would not see kuz we kids all wore long robes when we switched clothing.
still i wanted to test my theory and thought of a test.
so i did something very naughty.... and sacrilige.
after he ate his samwij i told nathan that i want him to sit by the window so i could tell him a story and look out the window.
i was the filthy brat who who told him a story about the pilots who flew the war planes and shot the bad guys... a long adventure.
as i told the story i gripped nathans KNEE holding the muscular bone in my little hands and pressed MY pants against his knee. i had to manouver for my test. soon i was pressing my forbidden place on the bone of his knee and the pressure caused my male finger tube to inflate and get long. i continued pressing while i said the story and watched his pants and as i expected a new bump apeared in his pants. i had proven he was gay homo.
i asked "is my story about a lady" he answered no. "do you see any lady in this room--nope. i annnced my conclusion "then you must be gay you wanna sleep with me now when you KNOW no lady is here.
he denied that and claimed "i dont wanna sleep with you. i promise". but his body announced that he was ready for the action married people do and not due to any lady he was ready to do it with me... a boy... unless... so i asked if he thought i was a girl. "no. i can FEEL you are a boy" i understood that his knee bone could feel my male part. "well that proves it! you know i am a boy an your body is ready for s eks with a boy". he tried to explain "no. that is not why. when i felt your thing get hard mine also got hard." i argued that is exactly gay men. he argued no it was mimiccing copying.
i was not convinced but i did something even naughtier...
i grabd my victim, while i was a minor age five, almost six, grabd his bump, the fabric of pants at the new bump, at his forbidden place and pressd it. "you like that kuz you are gay" i said. "that feels pleasant" he whispered. i knew what to do and said "you push INTO my hole" and i slid my hands down his pole as if he was moving upwards... he gasped "my wife's" to correct my error. then i continued my sacrilige, rubbing up and down until he got soft.
i even felt an additional "pulse" before he got soft but did not know what it was. like when you measure your heart beat and feel repeating pulses.
i asked if he had a girl friend and he said he was not allowed to see girls. then i left the room and went to the next activity which was some game with a ball.
on the bus back to our homes i found my victim and told him he should notice where i live so he should come and meet my parents. he looked scared and said "i did not touch you okay? if you lie that i did i will tell the truth that you tuched me in the forbidden place." i promised i would not tattle tale... as the lifegard said, and that he should come.
i got off the bus and told my parents i invited a rabbi from the day care to meet them kuz he worked at the day care.
he probably rode the charter bus to his school dorm and studied rabbbi books until 5 pm. then he rode a city bus in new york to my home in the bronx.
he arrived on time at six pm. my parents met him and the adults talked until 630 and then we ate supper. beef burgers with cookd vejtibils. did i write cokd? no.
my parents had heard he lived in the dorm away from family and invited him as i expected and planned to be the gueest for the weekend... and since he was a rabbi he could not ride a bus... which operated on saturday in contrast to israel on saturday so he must return from the day care with me on friday.
my plan was woorkin i just needed some more helpers.
the next day at camp i went to a second grader and told him that i had discovered nathan was gay. he lafd and said "big deal so am i". i hadnot expected that.
his name was not gary gray. i wondered if all kids with g in their name are gay with a g? harry the homo... gay gary or gay greg or gay george but george sounded different like j, jorj.
i argued "i am certain you dont put your man finger inside the toilet hole." gary assured me that he was not "that much gay" just he enjoyed rubbing his own male finger... which surprised me knowing he was too yung to make a baby and i thought rubbing was only a pleasure if it was the age when that would lead to making a baby and gary was only age 7 in second grade.
anyway i needed him for my plan. i told him we were gonna black mail the swimming teacher nathan. we were gonna tell the truth he was gay and scare his students that n wanted to poke them in their toilet holes and that would scare the students away then we could convince him to let us milk him... if he wanted money as a teacher.
the next day gary and i swam around the pool searching for the kids who studied swimming. they were gripping the edge of the pool [see the word edge the letter e at the end changes the sound of g from g like get to the sound j like edj.] and kicking their legs. we naughty brats whispeered as a pair like two witnesses. i said "i know n is gay he wants to poke you in your back hole. the terrified student stared at me iin disbelief and when gary nodded... he believed the two witnesses and fled.
we repeated to each kid until all the students left.
then i did something very evil! i said to the teacher "you probly thout i cant control your money but i just did. i will only let you maake money and get your students back if you let me milk you like a cow." gary added "and i get MY turn once a week too."
i wondered why gary said once a week i thout we neeed to be like cows and milk cows every morning like the baby cow drinks every morning?
the rabbi said "twice a week serves his purpose and that he is grateful that i used a threat."
whatever. i explained my turn was on the weekend and gary would get a turn next week and then my turn on the weekend again" i said that based on the rabbis words twice a week serves his purpose whatever that meant.
thursday came and went and n had no students. friday also no students they were scared maybe they did not BELIEVE s despite two witnesses but f two came together to warn the then the DOUBT was enuf.
after day care on friday, our victim rabbi nathan rode the bus to my home as my parents invited. i imagined he was angry that i controlled his money but he seemed happy that i "served his purpose." i assure him that i will not tattle on him, nor reveal his real name... after all he under my blackmail.
friday afternnon we reached my home. he left the bus with me and we entered the home.
the holy rabbi offered: "you want now or later?"... keeping his commitment.
i had doubt "i dunno we could now but better when my parents nap tmoro."
the rabbi explained that sometimes he awakes wet in the morning so i might miss my chance.
i formulated a deceptive plan and we negotiated what he expected. he wanted like the first time from outside clothing while dressed. and... seeing the gross naked men i thout i should agree but.... maybe at his age twenty he looked different and i wanted to see so i said "no. if you wwant to earn money and get your students back then at least once i need to SEE EVERYTHING the forbidden part and the milk and i am gonna catch some and taste it.
GROSS he whispered urgently! so i asked "did you taste it ever?" he looked horror "of course not it is not milk!"-- i was stubborn and insisted "well i wanna learn and this is the best way." he was blackmailed and agreed to my extreme demands. he revealed that he was relieved that i did not demand to insert my lil male finger in his back hole. now it was my turn to say "GROSS people can only clean OUTSIDE around the hole. nobody can clean the inside!" i considered gay people enjoy getting there part filthy with waste whose smell is naturally repulsive so we dont eat our own waste. i woulda said gay men in a pair are worse than perverts but we are not allowed to say that whether it is true or not.
he replied that he had not thought about that. he only thought that such an action probably hurts the first time since the body is in the habit of pushing waste out.
i explained my plan that i would lie that i ended my shower... yes i showered at age 5 standing not like some kids who sit in the bath until they are twelve or 13. then he would enter undress and could see everything then i would milk him so the milk would drip on my hand...
the rabbi interrupted "not drip its gonna jump out so you should stand behind me so you dont get wet." i adjusted my plan to stand facng his so some woud jump on my chest and i could taste sime before showering the rest off. if my parents would know they would beat both of uss with basebabll bats and send my teacher to prison but it was the only way for me to learn the data that i wanted to learn.
sometimes scientists must make "big sacrifices" for new data... isnt that right??
so i entered the shower room whering my swim shorts... colored dark blue. as soon as i entered i screamed my lie so my parents woud hear "i am done showering who is next?"
since i knew my parents used the shower adjacent to their room no problems.
the rabbi obeyed the commitment and enterd the shower room he undressed and i gotta admit twenty year old men are s- ek- sy wow! that looked nice! maybe i was gay??
the hair which indicates maturity was tangled and distracted from the smooth pale skin that made my heart beat faster like a racing car.
but the hair was needed for evolution. we neeed to know when a wife or husband is ripe or else we will waste our time trying to make a child with a spouse who is not ripe for child. a lady can be noticed by her shirt bumps but men... the only way to know if he is ripe is if hair grows.
but if the hair grows... and i find the grows is gross for me then maybe i am not gay??
the instant his body was revealed his male finger inflated even before i could touch it.
i stood in the shower in my bathing shorts my back toward the metal pipes of the shower and he stood facing me and said "i grant permission if you really want but jeez why would you want??' it sounded like he was giving me a chance to retract since he had kept his sde of the commitment. but i needed to know. for science.
then i milked his forbidden place and within a very short time... less rubs than the day at day-care, milk pumped out from his stiff tube and splattered on my chest i continued rubbing until he changed to soft. "wow that was pleasant i wish i could ask you to do that in a few more days but i would get in trouble so no offers." i reminded him in a few days gary had a turn.
i tasted the milk and it was bitter. now i knew. then i showered off his milk from my chest that stuck like fruit jelly only not red jelly, whitish clear opaque and as butters said about many things including male milk "its all gooey". then i granted him privacy to clean himself.
i dressed and kept our secret. we did all the common stuff of religious jews on saturday mostly boring.
the next day at camp i told all his students that we found out we were wrong and the rabbi was a "safe one" so they returned to study swimming and the rabbi earned his money. on wensday i reminded gary that his turn was today but he said "i already had my turn and it was not what i expected i am not as gay as i thout i only like touching myself not others." well i did enjoy both the abraham club and i did feel exciting milking this rabbi so we repeated all summer for a few more weeks and on tuesdy i took gary's turn only the second and later times the rabbi was dressed and the rubbing took longer time. and if i enjoyed then that made me a pervert.... unless contact on "pleasure nerve cells" are natural and appropriate in whcih case i my evil sacrilige was not perverted. when i turned 16 i learned what "serves his purpose meant" and i wished i had a milker the way i had milked him kuz i believed that i was not allowed to squeeze myself... but luckily my struggle not to squeeze myself directly led me to meet a lady and we satisfied each other for several years until she started college. now that was considered a sin for religion but i considered my lady frend activity natural age appropriate activity. no regrets.
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endnote appendix: when i lived in new york city i was a naughty boy. my name is not toby. when i was 4 years old i started preschool-5. we sat at desks like first graders. the desks were in rows. i argued with the rabbi about two religious issues as i wrote in other blogs and the year passed boring.
in summer vacation i was still 4 so i was too young for summer camps... so my stingy parents told me. but in first grade the rabbi told us the story of abraham sending his servant to find a wife for his son iss-ac. the rabbi explained that the servant said an oath while holding abrahams "holy part" of circumcision. this idea taught me that the holy commandment is not only godly at the time of the ceremony but holy as a place for an oath even after the religious ceremony. at that age i was too young to think about ethics and pain and morality and...
consent of the victim.... lacking.
i had a feeling that the biblical idea was wrong and sacrilige... but i failed to formulate words for the problem... like i knew we cant touch other peoples forbidden intimate place. and that if an old tickled us there, he was bad and deserved punishment but lacked the words... so i did an expirement. i went to an older kid in fifth grade and said the hebrew phrase that "holy" abraham said "put your hand under my leg". the older boy knew the hebrew phraase and shouted "get away you pervert i dont wanna get in trouble." i argued that abraham was HOLY and he could say it. the kid fled.
all the schol buzzed about this argument. kids yelled "pervert" at me and now i had the word i needed i had harvested the information that abraham=bad sex-pervert. and the book genesis that "justifies" this bad sacrilige as an oath is a bad book filthy.
so i did not mind the shouts due to my success in getting the data. i searched for the fifth grader to thank him for the information but the brats in his class said that he switched school to public school and "because of you" they said he hates the bible and jew religion... so they said.
two young four year olds in pre-school-4 came to me and said that aabraham was holy and the word pervert differs it meaans someone with "strange methods of pleasure" but abraham was swearing an oath not pleasure. they wanted to start an abraham club to show that abraham was holy. they knew that adults would call them perverts so they needed a gard to be a watcher. as a child i would have included "a pair of men" in that category but today we can get sued for saying that whether it is true or not.
at recess break between study classes the pair led me to a secret hiding place and i was the gard by the door while they did the abraham ceremony that i did not see but knew was acting the story of the oath. i watched from the door and no adults nor rabbis nor ther students came kuz the brats were all running outside and the teachers were in their break room drinking coffee except the one recess monitor who watched the brats run and "broke up" the fights.
then it was my turn. one kid garded the door and the other told me to open my pants so he could say the oath i would be like abraham.
i was "naughty" and uncovered my forbidden place and he quoted the hebrew words of the story acting in action the story of abraham. then he garded the doorway and the gard repeated the ceremony. they decided that i would always be abraham and that we would meet each month for the abraham club. it only lasted a few months kuz once we proved the point we stopped meeting.
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