when is the mid life crisis? in many country men live until 76 so before age 40 would not be a mid life crisis.
the list in a certain book was foolish to group some with some so i fix order, kuz some who succeed ask "is this all? no more? while those less successful know the answer: more success and their expectations and dreams are more than they have.
new order:
when men have a "midlife" crisis what are the issues they usualy face? we can group two groups those who succeeded at their careers and the rest... of US.
first: if succeed some successful have a crisis is this all? nothing more? which can be "solved" either emotionally or materialy. for example remembering "i have a family and i love" maybe a wife i love or if not her at least the brats. material: to ADD more: new car or hobby or travel in response to "is this all to life?" due to the crisis.
for others the crisis is harsher. some did not acheive expectations then they can answer "more would be those failures" ergo in response some switch careers to solve the crisis.
those who fail feel low self esteem or men feel anguish
life not his "youthful aspirations". they might feel regrets, or low self esteem.... unless success at his career.
so how to solve those?
1, expectations failed or disappointment. realizing those expectations were probly not realistic or not in contrl then it is "not your fault" about failing and not low self esteem. or to admit "i was mistaken to expect it now i know." which can also lead to a career change.
2, low self esteem some feel like their failures indicate they are too weak or failures. however this too can be comforted that many things were "beyond your control" which can lead to regrets but solves the first two. feeling regret can be solved by admitting "too late now perhaps i was wrong or chose wrong but now it is already done. same as a caught criminal cannot change do not worry about the past jjust take the punishment the past cannot be changed.
3. if "youthful aspirations" not acheived perhaps they were "too+ "youthful" or error or beyond control... redirecting the crisis to regret as above.
4. regrets: the past cannot be changed so harmful to think of changing the past. if your own chases regret does not benefit. if others deserve blame then THEY will say "the past cannot be changed" which despite true does not free them from apologizing and only a monster would not apologize.
do i feel any of those?
is nothing more to life? i did not succeed so success would be more.
i never expected success so no disappointment. i hoped but most things were beyond my control so i realize not my control.
failure or ow self esteem? if i have a skill than i AM good for that skill even if that career failed it does not define me after i have a skill unless i lack a skill then i need to get one.
my aspirations were to "teach a certain religion" and i did not do that... it seems i failed my goal but actualy i realized that goal was the wrong direction my "lack of acheiving it was a choice" that i admitted my error to decide that goal.
regrets many but i know i cannot change them so i do not try to think of a different path and if you do... then rent the video "butterfly effect"... at least now you cannot change the past.
sometimes marriage can cause a problem the same wife can be boring or worse if she is annoying... if you are not catholic divorce her between misery and loneliness get away from misery. if you are catholic... perhaps time to change that and stop following the pope and get divorced... the king of england did. unless you regret not making a pre-nup contract then you cant change it so go to counseling and whine "i want my marriage to work but she is so annoying" which is true due to the lack of a pre-nup!
so all the problems have simple solutions.
the list in a certain book was foolish to group some with some so i fix order, kuz some who succeed ask "is this all? no more? while those less successful know the answer: more success and their expectations and dreams are more than they have.
new order:
when men have a "midlife" crisis what are the issues they usualy face? we can group two groups those who succeeded at their careers and the rest... of US.
first: if succeed some successful have a crisis is this all? nothing more? which can be "solved" either emotionally or materialy. for example remembering "i have a family and i love" maybe a wife i love or if not her at least the brats. material: to ADD more: new car or hobby or travel in response to "is this all to life?" due to the crisis.
for others the crisis is harsher. some did not acheive expectations then they can answer "more would be those failures" ergo in response some switch careers to solve the crisis.
those who fail feel low self esteem or men feel anguish
life not his "youthful aspirations". they might feel regrets, or low self esteem.... unless success at his career.
so how to solve those?
1, expectations failed or disappointment. realizing those expectations were probly not realistic or not in contrl then it is "not your fault" about failing and not low self esteem. or to admit "i was mistaken to expect it now i know." which can also lead to a career change.
2, low self esteem some feel like their failures indicate they are too weak or failures. however this too can be comforted that many things were "beyond your control" which can lead to regrets but solves the first two. feeling regret can be solved by admitting "too late now perhaps i was wrong or chose wrong but now it is already done. same as a caught criminal cannot change do not worry about the past jjust take the punishment the past cannot be changed.
3. if "youthful aspirations" not acheived perhaps they were "too+ "youthful" or error or beyond control... redirecting the crisis to regret as above.
4. regrets: the past cannot be changed so harmful to think of changing the past. if your own chases regret does not benefit. if others deserve blame then THEY will say "the past cannot be changed" which despite true does not free them from apologizing and only a monster would not apologize.
do i feel any of those?
is nothing more to life? i did not succeed so success would be more.
i never expected success so no disappointment. i hoped but most things were beyond my control so i realize not my control.
failure or ow self esteem? if i have a skill than i AM good for that skill even if that career failed it does not define me after i have a skill unless i lack a skill then i need to get one.
my aspirations were to "teach a certain religion" and i did not do that... it seems i failed my goal but actualy i realized that goal was the wrong direction my "lack of acheiving it was a choice" that i admitted my error to decide that goal.
regrets many but i know i cannot change them so i do not try to think of a different path and if you do... then rent the video "butterfly effect"... at least now you cannot change the past.
sometimes marriage can cause a problem the same wife can be boring or worse if she is annoying... if you are not catholic divorce her between misery and loneliness get away from misery. if you are catholic... perhaps time to change that and stop following the pope and get divorced... the king of england did. unless you regret not making a pre-nup contract then you cant change it so go to counseling and whine "i want my marriage to work but she is so annoying" which is true due to the lack of a pre-nup!
so all the problems have simple solutions.
No comments:
Post a Comment