secret intimacy
he sat in a dormitory on a bed. kyle sat on another bed.
kyle asked me which city was i from which sports team did i like and he told me about his. while we were talking about sports a strange new urge emerged. he felt an urge to squeeze his own inflated male tube which was unusual considering we were talking about sports. i was too ashamed to touch my secret place while kyle would see and i squirmed as i struggled to stay in control of my urge to squeeze.
note: the next drama is important for the dramatic elements as well as background for the shocking revelation later.
the struggle intensified to resist the increasing urge yet i did not want him to see... finally the time came to leave for prayers. k' left the dorm room on time to go to the prayer chamber but i finally had no eyes on me. i pressed back on the pressure of my tube and felt a new sensation. something was moving inside somehwere under the surface. i had never felt that before and realized that was the maturity six years too late and way later than the other kids [who he had saved from the sin of onan when they were nine, not age 8 like butters in south park but nine and ten started. story in onan club post not here not now.]
who would save ME from the sin of onan! i was after 13 so i lacked the excuse of minor. if god killed onan what would happen to me? i had to resist... but lost control of my hands and pressed... the struggle was great as i tried why? to regain control but also to avoid sin. i could not keep my eyes open as the strain of the struggle drained all my strength. i pressed a bit but finally moved my hand away. victory one... but the urge was like a powerful wave and i lost control squeezing again... i felt sad that i could not choose... i was too weak to open my eyes as the wave of urge controld my hands and i squeezed until i did the sin of onan. at least i had struggled. surely i deserved credit for resisting the sin.
for every moment that i wanted to sin and could sin and had the opportunity and resisted each moment was a holy victory... and even when i had succumbed and squeezed i had even interrupted and separated from sin... that was surely a good deed even if in the end i lost the battle.
well now i had to change out from wet briefs... but what should i do with the wet ones? this never happened before and i had no ideas what to do?
i put them in the net laundry bag so air could get to it and shoved the net under my bed n the dorm. that must have been a tusday. the following two days i was sad that i did not have control of my own hands. people told me "you look like a tragedy happened. what happened?" i said "oh something embarrassing i cant say. "
the sadness and depression did NOT cause a new urge as some theorize. however each day the limbs produced new seed... and thursday afternoon the urge came to empty the tubes.... not the urge to sleep with a woman... that was a different urge but an urge to squeeze until the tubes were empty. i struggled. i interrupted my study to walk around. friday morning the urge grew more intense... i was horrified because i considered if i really needed to emty the tube it coulda happened like the books say while i slept yet i awoke dry even after the urge. all day fridy was agony... from the hunger in the morning for food... even when i ate two bowls of dry grain rings i soon felt hunger less than an hour later. the intense urge to squeeze until the tube emptied... was very powerful and i could not think about the books i was obligated to study.
i sat in the twelfth grade class room when the rabbi lectured and the urge was too powerful. a healthy teen would have left the class room and emptied the tube in the toilet same as yellow waste liquid but i believed i deserved the punishment of onan if i would do that... i was not thinking about ladies... just the urge to squeeze until the tube emptied. the struggle was intense as i felt the hunger in my stomach and the physical urge and my eyes shut from the strain... i gripd the edge of a desk so i would not lose control of my hands as i had a few days before... i lasted as long as i could... perhaps thirty agonizing seconds? i stood and walked between the desks out of the room... i knew i lost the battle. in the future i knew hopeless no option store the liquid inside tubes. i walked sadly along the corridor realizing i lost the battle again... luckily the walking helped the sensation. i headed for the sports chamber and tried to run around the sides of the gym. my shoes dug into my ankles-skin. each step of "jogging" was a painful jog of my joints. i had never run in a long long time. so i walked but walking did not soothe the urge i had to run... and i felt so hungry but lunch would not be served until after the class i was skipping! and lunch on friday was the old food left from previous days i could not eat that old food! the urge returned as i walked fast around and around the gym in agony from hunger and the struggle to control my hands. around and around... i collapsed on the floor and sat on my hands and shut my eyes as a wave of urge controlled me. my eyes shut from the strain of the struggle i had no strength to move or struggle... finally noises... students were coming to play basketball during the lunch break the noise awoke me from my trance and i walked to the meal chamber. i looked at the gross leftovers old food and struggled with my hunger. the food was old and looked gross... despite my hunger i would not put that stuff in. i would simply use my overweight fat storage. i returned to the study chamber and lay my head on a table and passed out.
when i awoke i was FURIOUS i had slept and despite needing to empty the tube i had again awoke dry. i was certain that in the shower i would lose control... i would earn the death penalty of onan... but worse than that fear, was the horror that i was not in control. even if onan would be a small sin still i would want to choose if i do the small sin or not but insted i was in agony and losing control.
i went to shower early and stay focusd on cleanliness not squeezing and barely resisted the urge in the shower.
next i dressed fancy clothing for the jew sabbath.
i hoped that i could last until night maybe maybe at night i would have the thing books called a wet dream and awake released... i could only hope. sunset but light remained. everyone read their prayers the healthy kids probably chose to squeeze until their tubes emptied but i had problems i did not want to do the sin of onan... the urge was so strong i could not think about the prayers... study time i gazed eyes glazed at a book that i could not read... in a daze... finally meal time. bread and soup. but that did not help niether the hunger nor the urge. i had problems... bread in my stomach did not calm the hunger for food after a day of hunger and of emotional struggle.
i should just give up... i left the meal chamber after the soup and went out into the january winter air walking in the winter air felt better... the decision that i would squeeze was enough and the urgency switched off. so i returned to the meal chamber for the next course some chicken leg.
i still had a few more hours to fill until sleep time, what would i do? i hoped that when i slept i would have a wet dream and tried to study but my mind could not think about aything besides the urge to squeeze. i gazed again dazed and glazed... as the minutes stretched...
finally they served the winter stew. but for me that barley and potato was like bread i would feel just as hungry after it. i surrendered and went to the dorm early collapsed into bed.
the urge returned while face up on the soft mattress but i was ashamed my room mates would see where my hands went. i should just give up and go to a stall and squeeze... but i had hope maybe if i could just fall asleep then in a dream... the book said that happens.... boys have wet dreams releasing the fluid... all my effort went to keepin my hands on the sheet... suddenly i awoke from noise the clang of banging on metal doors to wake us for prayers in the light of the morning... i was FURIOUS at my body i had awoke dry... after all that agony... if i truly needed to empty i coulda emptied in sleep like healthy boys but no... no wet dream just another day of agony ahead... i was devastated and hopeless. i dressed in expensive suits which i hated and walked to the prayer chamber and started reading some hebrew psalms but the urge was so powerful i just gazed in a daze at the words... the agony stretched hour after hour and only five minutes had passed on my digital watch... i could not bear the wait. again i went to the sports chamber and walked around and around the basketball court but the clock would not budge.
they would be busy reading for at least another hour but i could not read nor anything... and i felt so hungry despite the chicken from last night... no food until after the long prayers i had plenty of fat for skipping meals but the agony of hunger and emotional strain was scraping away at me... i moved around and around the gym five cycles in less than five minutes... i stopped counting and just walked and walked the gym seemed too small i had to walk outside in the cold january winter wind. i walked across the campus passing building after building, in a daze i must have been a "drunk" from raging hormones... i left the campus and walked along a street. only house after house. after five minutes in one direction i turned back and walked for ten minutes until i found a park.
*****
i did not know that this park would lead to my freedom.
a pair of dresses were giggling... one girl looked young maybe six years old. her older sister was watching her while standing in the park they talked about something and giglled. i entered the park and walked along a paved cement path. i followed the path around the park and it led me near the pair of dresses... as i passed not talking to strangers i heard a voice "hey you look cute" like sweet and gentle.
i looked up at the sound and saw the older sister facing me. what should i say? she did not ask any question... so what should i say? she had said something nice i should say thank you "th-th-thank you" i stammerd at the strangers. i kept walking until an idea occurd to me... what if she initiated the talk to flirt?? i turned back and said "i also could not stay indoors all day."
the younger girl not named lucy asked "do you live around here?--not realy. i study in the school a few minutes away and sleep in a dorm most of the year." the older girl not named patty argued "that means it IS your home you live their all month long." i agreed "i guess so and MOST of the year should define it.--wadya study at the school, bible? asked lucy. "nope i study other religious books almost all day.--we could tell from your hat" explained pat. my turn "what grades are you in?" pat said "i graduated last june and she is in third grade." i was surprised i thought lucy looked younger. "which books do you read for fun?" i asked. pat answered "i read mostly kids books so i can talk about them with lucy." then lucy said "we should invite him to have some hot choklit" i almost fainted in shock... how the h@$% were they trusting a total stranger man?? in our society of horrible predators?? i had not yet seen the video where pretty girls lure the men to a building where the boss locks the men in prison and sells their american passports claiming they never came to this hotel.
didnt they know? they are not supposed to talk to strangers?? i guessed lucy relied on pat garding her and pat must be a ninja in karate or kungfu if she dared to talk with a stranger. at the time i did not think they were relying on the good stereotype that holy students are not violent people... but every school has its "rotten apples".
i was delighted that i could pass my hours with new friends instead of walking n endless circles to pass the time until sleeping.
we walked to their apartment building. i asked lucy which book she was reading. lucy gushed with excitement about the story and the princess and the danger and adventure and the flying fairy.... i enjoyed hearing the detailed description.
we reached the door. "should i tell him the code?" asked lucy. pat answered "no way! you never tell the code to anybody. i will tell him the code kuz i can see he is decent." then she told me the code to press on the electric pad and despite my belief that using electricity was a sin on sabath i decided i had nothing to lose since already earning the death penalty yesterday... oops a few days before, in the sin of onan for which god killed onan.
i pressed the code on the electric pad. it unlocked the door. so i yanked it open and said "after you." lucy ran giggling inside and up the steps energetically. pat walked slowly and i asked "did you mean the hot cocoa thing?" i was incredulous.
"obviously! i even told you the code!" the lady answered almost exasperated. so i asked her what she liked about her sisters books. and she explained that she imagines that she is the magical flying fairy and is in the adventure. we walked together up the stairs. at the door was another keypad. pat said guess the code. i tapd the same sequence of numbers as the outer door but the lyt remained red. "reverse the order" so i tapd the sequence and the door clicked open. "after you" i repeated so lucy and pat enterd their home. "i assume your parents will be home soon." i said. pat explained "they are taking lucy to watch a high school soccer game." i replied "i have trouble sitting still for a sport event i once went to a baseball game..." pat interrupted "the tickets are sold out so no point debating that."
i grabd a chair in the kitchen and sat by a table. "which powder do you use for cocoa?" i asked. lucy replied "its called hot choklit not cocoa, you fat-ass!". well i was. pat ignored my question and grabbed a pot filled it with water from the sink and lit a fire on the stove. "i like your fancy suit" said pat. i replied sighing "my parents are idiots we are very poor and they spend money on expensive suits." lucy said "you were rich enuf to pay for the suit.--yeah but then none left for the food i like and the clothing i like." i was echoing my parents excuses since they already spent so much on expensive suits, which were annoying stiff and unjustifiable.
pat said "i love guys who rip on their parents. you should hear the arguments in THESE walls." lucy giggled "they argue about every little thing." by now pat had dumped generous spoons of powder into wide mugs. we waited for the water to boil.
"what do you argue about?" i asked. pat started to answer "they want me to go to college but i hate the whole system." lucy interrupted "i can tell you wanna KI--I--I--SS him". "LUCY! shut u--u--p" she said in a tone of great annoyance. then she turned to me and winked.
i had not yet seen the series about the guy who wears fancy suits which attract the women despite his personality... in the series "how i met your mother", what was his name? barny!
on the other hand she had said i was "cute" like gentle that differs from you look rich.
lucy added "they always tell her that they give her every opportunity like we will pay for college and we will pay for your wedding and complain that she [pat] does not cooperate.--exactly! i dont wanna go to college nor marry anyone that goes to church." i asked "why not?" pat explained "because i dont accept any of those ideas at church or any religion or any ism." i asked "are you atheist?--that is also an ism so no way." explained pat.
"what caused you to reject christianity?" i asked. pat said "the same reasons you reject it." the water started boiling and bubbling so pat grabbed a ladle and sloshed boiling water into the mugs and started stirring vigorously. "actually i never chose and do not know anything about religions." pat froze. lucy burst out laughing "wadya mean you dont know. you were not born YESTERDAY".
pat argued "surely you asked your parents why they dont celebrate christmas that is something easily notice-able.--true but they had no reasoning."
pat silently stird the liquid and insisted "still you do not ACCEPT ideas unless they have a good and firm foundation."
i had never heard that idea before. man i was ignorant.
"come and get it" pat sang in the common phrase so i went and got a mug and pat carefully gave lucy her mug. last pat sat.
the door buzzed open and in walked the parents. "sorry we were late. oh you found a student tutor." gushed mom, her flowing dark brown hair swinging. her black coat covered any pretty blouse. "he is just a student not my tutor" corrected pat. lucy teased "he is pat's lover!" pat shouted this time "LUCY! stop that! you know i hang out with lots of guys."
pa entered wearing his baseball cap of toronto blue jays... he adjusted his glasses and said "which creep did you bring home this time." ma protested "dear, you see he is from that jew school. it has a good reputation."
"well i know he certainly does not go to church." said pa in a tone of rejection. ma protested again "they are not dating. they are years apart in age so just relax dear." i told the truth... "we are talking over some hot choklit". lucy added a lot of milk into her mug and gulped hers quickly. ma asked "so whats your name cutie?" i replied my name is tal. pa asked "and what do you know about christianity?" i sipd my drink awkwardly and said "almost nothing.--well what DO you know?--i paused then said "i only know that rabbis tried to teach me false propaganda that i refuted. i dont know what is true." lucy protested "you are late we have to go to the soccer game."
"you better study that chapter with your tutor or else" urged pa as he straightened his basebll cap." parents and lucy left the house and thumped down the steps.
pat annonunced "lesson one sometimes ladies want seks." i echoed "sometimes teens want that but i heard ladies only want relationships with people they know."
pat announced "that is lesson one. sometimes we just want a pleasant feeling and that is why i invited you today." i gulped... and said "i am gonna need many lessons i dont know what to do." pat moaned "you never did this all year?--not yet but i want to."
pat sighed "the guys in my school were active since ninth grade you look like tenth grade.--actually twelfth grade. and i revealed "i wanted that so strongly i needed to walk off campus."
pat was relieved "good. now we need 2 phases. first for you a quickie then a break and then for me. so its a fair exchange once for you and the second time for me after a break. understood?" i answered "i agree but far from understanding i mean you dont expect me to pay?" i sounded really dumb but had to ask. "wadya mean" she shot back. "like i heard men always pay for the opportunity.--that's what i thout you meant and that is the reason the first lesson... lesson one is sometimes a lady wants and then you... you are doing her the service. so we have an exchange. got it?--yes."
next i told her what i expectd to happen and she said "we can try that." then we did the type of stuff that i cant write about. if you have any doubts about my minor consent in twelfth grade, do not forget i was desparate from the hours of friday and even the hours of that morning.
i believed i cant squeeze myself out so i wanted this opportunity at least as much as she did. she taut me about condoms and the two phases. first for me. that was a relief.
next i flushed the condom away and soon lunch.
pat asked "do you know what a fling is?--nope--it means you just enjoy each other and dont think about the future. if you are disappointed its okay at least you tasted. if you like you continue.--i enjoyed" i said in a hopeful tone. she replied "i hope you will enjoy enough to come every sunday morning after my parents leave for church at time number bleep but if not, then we are doing a fling so i will find someone else got it?--yes.
"wadya eat for lunch?--pasta and tomato sauce" i replied. she squinted at me with a strange face i could not comprehend. then she said "i am in the mood of chinese how about you?--sorry but i am too poor to pay for any dating.--so you dont wanna buy me lunch?--sorry i only get thirty dollars a month and i did not bring even for myself.--you should see your face!" she concluded and burst out laughing.
"if i did not like you i woulda agreed to pasta! if i invite you to fancier that means i like you and i wanna be with you, get it?--now i get it!" i concluded.
"so the budget is fifty dollars for you get whatever you want. i am changing clothing and we will take a cab. i hope you will wear your suit jacket but i prefer bare head."
i thout "too bad i cant thank god for this... sin.... exactly what i needed on the day that i needed. and no annoying hat blowing off in the wind. "the wind would blow off a hat" i replied honestly.
i sipd my coco and she changed into a fancy dress and a silvery gray coat. soon she appeared her dress was long and puffy pale blue with matching shoes a different shade of pale blue. only a narrow stripe of dark blue socks shown. her blond hair was finally visible now that she doffd her green ski cap. i asked where a closet is for my hat. she said to hang it from the door hook so i did. she phoned a cab and we walked out as the door clikd lock behind us. i walked bareheaded which differs from the custom of orthodox jews. but honestly i hated that the wind blew the hats.
we stood by the glass door of her building and soon a cab came. pat ran ahead to the taxi and confirmed the company that she called and the price. i followed and after she entered in the back i entered and closed the door. the cab continued straight and away from the urban area to the luxurious area.
the cab meter was active as he drove. i guessed toward east kuz we went under the north south expressway. we arrived at a fancy sprawling shopping center. one tall ground level very wide with rows of tables. the name of the restaurant in that shop center was golden dragon. in fancy red letters across a broad window. we enterd. a waittress with black hair that reached her shoulder greeted us. her eyes were very chinese. "pat!" the waitress gushed, "i did not believe that you would visit me at my job." they hugged. pat replied "i haven't seen you since graduation. meet the student tal." wu, for that was the name on her tag, wrapd her arms around me too... now... just a sec.... waitresses never do that and i had not been hugged by a real girl since... preschool 3 jeez. i was royally confused. i guessed she was just so excited to see patricia.
"can we sit in that corner?" asked pat. "i am pretty sure that is available. do you want tea with your jug of water?--yes and for him the appetizer of sum-dum-goy." urged pat.
wu the waitress squinted her already very narrow eyes and said "do you mean dim-sum?--nope i mean sum-dum-goy for the student." wu burst out laffing. "so you found a nice jewish boy good for you" as she decoded the sound that she heard.
"sorry we dont have pork chow mein, we are trying to attract the jews from pepper pike." wu apologized to me. i was royally confused. it seem that jews orderd pork chow mein. is that what she meant? pat echoed "you should see your face!" and the two girls burst into giggles.
then wu hurried to get the drinks and menus so we walked to the table that pat chose. a dark corner. we sat facing each other on deep fluffy leather cushions. in a flash wu was at the tabe with a tray. she flipd the glass cups and added tiny tea cups. down came the glass jug of water. a mist of condensation coated the glass with a carving that must be a simple japanese character.
then a shiny metal cylinder of hot tea from leaves grown in china from native tea plants, as wu specified. then wu lay the two thick narrow menus on the table by the glasses.
the "lunch combo" was 19 dollars but monday to friday. now was saturday. i thout about the budget. i jumped ahead to the main courses and saw 11$. so i looked at the appetizers to see. there were salads and dumplings and soups and "small" portions of stuff such as fish as an appetizer. i chose "crunchy minced beef balls and vegetable steamed dumplings" and told pat that i wanted two appetizers. "you are so sweet! dont worry about money just dont exagerate, get it?--yes, and what do you like to order here?--i like the sweet potato dumplings, now dont be shy add a main dish." pat specified. i saw the different chow meins and lomeins and saw no pork. so i told pat i chose zechuan beef with bamboo shoots and chestnut discs. pat said she was unsure between chicken chow mein and beef chow mein.
"tell me how do you deal with your father?--wadya mean?--like he is very direct and... i cant say argumentative but something like that.--oh he is awful" started pat. then she clarified "he wants me to live at home until i get married and he thinks i am gonna marry the christian that he picks out for me. no way!".
i thout about that first part it sounded like a complaint yet that meant she was welcome? so i asked "do they ever tell you that you must go to college or you can't live with them"?"
pat's pretty eyes jumped open wide "the opposite they forbid to live separately kuz they dont want people to suspect that i bring men home."
i was ready for an apt joke "hmm his strategy does not prevent flings." pat burst out laffing. "i hadn't thout of it that way. you have good timing!" wu was back. she changed her accent from what i had heard before "take a oldel prees". the two gals giggled.
finally wu recoverd and said "tal which appetizers do you want and dont say sumdum goy." the friends giggled again. i smiled at the strong relationship between them. the atmosphere felt really good.
i told the two appetizers that i chose. wu then asked "patlisa, any aptizel?--not today i wont have time for jogging so no dumplings for me." i tried a joke "why dont you order that sum-smart-goy?"
uh oh.
pat jerked her head, "did you just call me goy?--uh but smart?--you should see your face!" pat chuckled but wu looked worried.
pat then told wu she wanted zechuan beef with bamboo shoots and chestnut diks, oops i mean disks." the girls burst laffing again. i tried to be funny "i like her idea. also that main dish for me." wu explained it comes with two egg rolls and steamed rice. then she left.
i tried to return to understanding her situation. my bossy parents always threatened that i had to obey them kuz of religion or else they would kick me out of the house, like you cant live here unless you do it our way. then i was scared i cant find a place and pay my wn rent but she seemd to be the opposite.
i asked "so do your parents ever pressure you with a threat that you have to pay your own rent if you dont do whatever they say?--my pa is not THAT bad," explained pat, "he wants me to live with them to avoid rumors. he wants to pick the guy he wants me to marry and only if he goes to church. if i dont agree then he wont pay for a wedding but expeling me is the opposite. if i agree then i would be moving out but if i refuse then that is staying not moving out, get it?"
i thout about that. yep compared to her bossy parents mine were far worse.
"i understand that you dont accept the idea of church.--exactly. the things they teach are just unbelievable. i dont accept it and i wont go to place where they teach based on a book that nobody dares to check." that what pat said.
i added some people would say "give me a reason why you dont accept.--that is just a trick! they ask what bothers you or annoys you... as a trick then they say well if something annoys you you are bias. or say accept it unless you see a flaw or have a reason but that is not the correct method for accepting things. if i hear someone say the solar system has 32 planets i dont say "i accept it kuz why not? it does not bother me whether true or false so i accept and will repeat it to others. before i accept something i wanna know the basis why you claim 32 planets." she explained.
"so that is why you dont like isms and doctrines.--precisely. i am so relieved that you understand me. so many people just dont get it." she concluded. then she added "i really feel comfortable near you.--thanks, you are interesting to talk with.--thanks sweety." the lady told the young senior.
pat asked "i am surprised you are not thirsty--true i have not drunk since the coco--drunk she echoed giggling. i poured myself some water started to sip but my lips said no. why wasn't i thirsty? from waking up i had not drunk anything and instead exercied maybe kuz the cold outdoors resisted the cold water? but i did not feel cold i guess i should try some tea.
i poured from the shiny cylendar into the tiny "china" cups. "i like rhyming like from shiny to tiny." pat shrugd.
finally the food was ready in contrast to fast food this was cooked fresh and new. wu gave pat her beef and gave me my appetizers.
we ate silently which made me VERY happy. i hated trying to talk while i try to chew. pat was focusd on her beef and vej. i ate the crunchy puffs filled with ground beef then the vej dumplings.
a few minits passd as we ate silently. when i finished the appetizers i looked around for wu. many tables were now filled with couples mostly with gray hair. it was a mini city. most were the majority light skin men with manly short hair facing wives with longer gray hair and long dresses. and among them were the minority a mixed couple, one light man with dark skin woman and at another table two negro man perhaps romantic? the table near us had a couple dark skin maybe speaking spanish to him. another couple looked iranian to me.
wu was bringing a tray of food to a table so i waved to her. i watched her carefully put each plate by the customers and ask if they wanted anything. the lady asked for chopsticks and more napkins. wu nodded and came to me. as she walked toward me the lady stuffed her paper napkins into her purse and her husband was obviously scolding her for that. i imagined him saying we bout plenty of napkins.
wu arrived and moved my empty plates to her tray and said she would check if my order was ready. pat askd wu to bring a box for her to take home the rest. she was satisfied. i said "pack mine to go." wu said "your test worked." pat said " i am pleasantly surprised. but you can order dessert here.--i dont need." i assured her.while we waited for the boxes pat asked me if i exercise "i walk lots but i cant jog in fancy shoes.--i was worried about that. if we dont get dessert we have time for me to buy you some sport shoes.--much thanks. if there is a book store you can pick the book you like and i will buy it for you when i bring money--nah i did not finish reading the books that i wanted to read i should not get a new one until i finish those. but it was sweet to offer. you think you are the one getting.... i assure you you are giving plenty." she concluded.
my limited knowledge of paying prostitutes had misled me. wu returned with one empty box and one full box, "zechuan beef" she said and pointed tothe paper sticker. pat sloshed the remainder of her portion into the box. and gave her credit card.
"my parents give me 30 dollars each month--what do you spend it on?--usualy pretzels or books--thirty dollars seems like so little. if i do my chores my parents give me 50% inimum wage each month.--what are your parents jobs?--my ma is a beginner nurse and my father is a computer analyst. they specified that i can give gifts to any friend i like. so i am gonna buy you sport shoes on one condition..." pat paused. i waited for her to finish. "...hang out with me until my parents return at 6 pm, before you go back to your dorm.--yes." i agreed simply.
we walked with our boxes hanging from those chinese wire grips. we reached the counter and pat asked for her card. the lady "assil" returned the credit card with the receipt. "my daughter really likes you" assil said about wu. pat smiled.
we left the gold dragon and i followed her rightward. around the building was a shoe shop. pat walked decisively to the sport shoes glanced at the different styles and said "how do you like this style?" it was a famous british company probly made in china. "nice."
a clerk came "hi let me tell you about...--no i already chose this style--please just a minute i recomend a great deal..." pat started walking toward the door so i followed. the bluff worked.
the clerk said "wait which style?" then, as she pointed i slipped off my shoe so he measured my feet. the clerk made a joke "you know what they say about wide feet.--shut up don! we are not like that!" pat shot at him.
don ran to get the sport shoes. i sat with my sok bare waiting to try the new shoe. it came but looked different than the style pat chose. "this looks different--i know but listen there's a realy good discount on these." i was trapd with my shoe off but pat strode to the manager and talked quietly. over the loudspeaker "don please come to desk one now." don kept trying to convince me to get the shoe that he wanted to sell... i said "they are calling you.--just a minute, dont you see it's better?" the loudspeaker repeated "don i mean it." don cussed. from my seat i watched don unpin his name tag. he had failed his trial in sales. the boss personaly brout the correct style and size. i tried it on and walked and it was comfy. i checked the number in each shoe the same numbers. i returned it to the box. re-shoed and took my lunch. the shopping center had a row of taxis. we entered the one in front and it drove to her apartment.
the trip home had less on the meter. she paid with atwenty and asked for a five change. then we went into her home. "do we have time before the soccer game ends?--plenty. now that yu rested it is my turn."
we did some pleasant stuff the type of stuff that i cant write about. hint hint. you know what they say about wide feet... she had lied to don.
i learned that after emptying and rest, phase two lasts longer.
her contraction was first this time. and that squeeze felt really good. she stopd moving when she was satisfied. she slid up my thighs snd sat on my knees. "your idea is far better than the other guys."
next we dressed and ate the zechuan. we sat silently chewing. she finished hers first. and said "i am delighted that you dont try to make me talk while i am busy chewing." i nodded in agreement.
suddenly we heard noise in the stairwell.
could it be? the door opened and in walked pa followed by lucy and ma.
"i thought the game would be longer?" i asked. pa explained it usually is but a player got injured really bad and their team quit." lucy said "usualy they have extras in case someone gets hurt but they were down three point already and he was the best player so they lost hope."
"did you study with tal?" pa asked. pat said "not yet we thout you would arrive at 6 like usual. dont you go eat after the game?" ma ignored her "what the hek? you guys spent money on chinese delivery?--i wanted to get tal in a good mood so he would be patient." was pat lying? why did they think i was gonna study with her?
wasn't she finished high school? uh oh what if she wasnt.
pa scolded "yu should not spend money when we already prepared perfectly good chicken. that is why we came home the chicken is already baked. when you finish eating go study hebrews with tal.
what a relief! i had been worried she was still in school. hebrews was not a school subject it was a chore.
after we ate we sat on a couch and read a bible book hebrews. we alternated reading verses and then she criticised the part that she did not like. meanwhiile lucy and her parents ate chicken in the kitchen.
i changed into sport pants and sport shoes so we could exercise together. pa came and asked me "do you think she understood the text?--yes sir".
then he drove us to a club where pat and i jogd around the indoor track. well she jogd around the track i jogd for as many paces as i could then walked for rest and tried again. now i felt thirsty from eating and exercise. i had exercised in the morning too so i was tired. but as long as she jogd i was motivated to copy and kept trying. my later laps were nearer complete laps than my first laps as my endurance adjusted. my heart adjusted. finally after a year she passed me and said "half hour is complete." then she did a walk lap for cooling and i mimicd. then we sat and drank flavord ice tea and talked about life. and books and that i would come in 8 days for another "study session" after her parents left for church. we talked about things her father said his expectations that she marry a church goer but she wanted someone that would not show in action that they agree with the church idea. it seemd that if she stayed at home until she wed and she could only wed the type she did not want then... she would be at home her whole life. she explained the compromise is not "insted of every week once a year" that is still in action insted the compromise is studying the book while admitting it is flawd.
we continued meeting for several years. the relationship ended when... i was surprised that after she had been so cynical about christianity, even she decided she believed the main foundation of jesus resurrection. so she committed to stop sinning outside of marriage. so we separated. the semester had a few weeks remaining and i got into trouble... the one time i did not use a condom... soon that girl, not named lily, was visibly pregnant and her parents were furious. i look at the irony that my first child was before wedding and not even jewish. i had added to the gentile population. who woulda thout that a guy dressed like a rabbi would be the father of a gentile out of marriage? perhaps a child is a happy ending.
___
he sat in a dormitory on a bed. kyle sat on another bed.
kyle asked me which city was i from which sports team did i like and he told me about his. while we were talking about sports a strange new urge emerged. he felt an urge to squeeze his own inflated male tube which was unusual considering we were talking about sports. i was too ashamed to touch my secret place while kyle would see and i squirmed as i struggled to stay in control of my urge to squeeze.
note: the next drama is important for the dramatic elements as well as background for the shocking revelation later.
the struggle intensified to resist the increasing urge yet i did not want him to see... finally the time came to leave for prayers. k' left the dorm room on time to go to the prayer chamber but i finally had no eyes on me. i pressed back on the pressure of my tube and felt a new sensation. something was moving inside somehwere under the surface. i had never felt that before and realized that was the maturity six years too late and way later than the other kids [who he had saved from the sin of onan when they were nine, not age 8 like butters in south park but nine and ten started. story in onan club post not here not now.]
who would save ME from the sin of onan! i was after 13 so i lacked the excuse of minor. if god killed onan what would happen to me? i had to resist... but lost control of my hands and pressed... the struggle was great as i tried why? to regain control but also to avoid sin. i could not keep my eyes open as the strain of the struggle drained all my strength. i pressed a bit but finally moved my hand away. victory one... but the urge was like a powerful wave and i lost control squeezing again... i felt sad that i could not choose... i was too weak to open my eyes as the wave of urge controld my hands and i squeezed until i did the sin of onan. at least i had struggled. surely i deserved credit for resisting the sin.
for every moment that i wanted to sin and could sin and had the opportunity and resisted each moment was a holy victory... and even when i had succumbed and squeezed i had even interrupted and separated from sin... that was surely a good deed even if in the end i lost the battle.
well now i had to change out from wet briefs... but what should i do with the wet ones? this never happened before and i had no ideas what to do?
i put them in the net laundry bag so air could get to it and shoved the net under my bed n the dorm. that must have been a tusday. the following two days i was sad that i did not have control of my own hands. people told me "you look like a tragedy happened. what happened?" i said "oh something embarrassing i cant say. "
the sadness and depression did NOT cause a new urge as some theorize. however each day the limbs produced new seed... and thursday afternoon the urge came to empty the tubes.... not the urge to sleep with a woman... that was a different urge but an urge to squeeze until the tubes were empty. i struggled. i interrupted my study to walk around. friday morning the urge grew more intense... i was horrified because i considered if i really needed to emty the tube it coulda happened like the books say while i slept yet i awoke dry even after the urge. all day fridy was agony... from the hunger in the morning for food... even when i ate two bowls of dry grain rings i soon felt hunger less than an hour later. the intense urge to squeeze until the tube emptied... was very powerful and i could not think about the books i was obligated to study.
i sat in the twelfth grade class room when the rabbi lectured and the urge was too powerful. a healthy teen would have left the class room and emptied the tube in the toilet same as yellow waste liquid but i believed i deserved the punishment of onan if i would do that... i was not thinking about ladies... just the urge to squeeze until the tube emptied. the struggle was intense as i felt the hunger in my stomach and the physical urge and my eyes shut from the strain... i gripd the edge of a desk so i would not lose control of my hands as i had a few days before... i lasted as long as i could... perhaps thirty agonizing seconds? i stood and walked between the desks out of the room... i knew i lost the battle. in the future i knew hopeless no option store the liquid inside tubes. i walked sadly along the corridor realizing i lost the battle again... luckily the walking helped the sensation. i headed for the sports chamber and tried to run around the sides of the gym. my shoes dug into my ankles-skin. each step of "jogging" was a painful jog of my joints. i had never run in a long long time. so i walked but walking did not soothe the urge i had to run... and i felt so hungry but lunch would not be served until after the class i was skipping! and lunch on friday was the old food left from previous days i could not eat that old food! the urge returned as i walked fast around and around the gym in agony from hunger and the struggle to control my hands. around and around... i collapsed on the floor and sat on my hands and shut my eyes as a wave of urge controlled me. my eyes shut from the strain of the struggle i had no strength to move or struggle... finally noises... students were coming to play basketball during the lunch break the noise awoke me from my trance and i walked to the meal chamber. i looked at the gross leftovers old food and struggled with my hunger. the food was old and looked gross... despite my hunger i would not put that stuff in. i would simply use my overweight fat storage. i returned to the study chamber and lay my head on a table and passed out.
when i awoke i was FURIOUS i had slept and despite needing to empty the tube i had again awoke dry. i was certain that in the shower i would lose control... i would earn the death penalty of onan... but worse than that fear, was the horror that i was not in control. even if onan would be a small sin still i would want to choose if i do the small sin or not but insted i was in agony and losing control.
i went to shower early and stay focusd on cleanliness not squeezing and barely resisted the urge in the shower.
next i dressed fancy clothing for the jew sabbath.
i hoped that i could last until night maybe maybe at night i would have the thing books called a wet dream and awake released... i could only hope. sunset but light remained. everyone read their prayers the healthy kids probably chose to squeeze until their tubes emptied but i had problems i did not want to do the sin of onan... the urge was so strong i could not think about the prayers... study time i gazed eyes glazed at a book that i could not read... in a daze... finally meal time. bread and soup. but that did not help niether the hunger nor the urge. i had problems... bread in my stomach did not calm the hunger for food after a day of hunger and of emotional struggle.
i should just give up... i left the meal chamber after the soup and went out into the january winter air walking in the winter air felt better... the decision that i would squeeze was enough and the urgency switched off. so i returned to the meal chamber for the next course some chicken leg.
i still had a few more hours to fill until sleep time, what would i do? i hoped that when i slept i would have a wet dream and tried to study but my mind could not think about aything besides the urge to squeeze. i gazed again dazed and glazed... as the minutes stretched...
finally they served the winter stew. but for me that barley and potato was like bread i would feel just as hungry after it. i surrendered and went to the dorm early collapsed into bed.
the urge returned while face up on the soft mattress but i was ashamed my room mates would see where my hands went. i should just give up and go to a stall and squeeze... but i had hope maybe if i could just fall asleep then in a dream... the book said that happens.... boys have wet dreams releasing the fluid... all my effort went to keepin my hands on the sheet... suddenly i awoke from noise the clang of banging on metal doors to wake us for prayers in the light of the morning... i was FURIOUS at my body i had awoke dry... after all that agony... if i truly needed to empty i coulda emptied in sleep like healthy boys but no... no wet dream just another day of agony ahead... i was devastated and hopeless. i dressed in expensive suits which i hated and walked to the prayer chamber and started reading some hebrew psalms but the urge was so powerful i just gazed in a daze at the words... the agony stretched hour after hour and only five minutes had passed on my digital watch... i could not bear the wait. again i went to the sports chamber and walked around and around the basketball court but the clock would not budge.
they would be busy reading for at least another hour but i could not read nor anything... and i felt so hungry despite the chicken from last night... no food until after the long prayers i had plenty of fat for skipping meals but the agony of hunger and emotional strain was scraping away at me... i moved around and around the gym five cycles in less than five minutes... i stopped counting and just walked and walked the gym seemed too small i had to walk outside in the cold january winter wind. i walked across the campus passing building after building, in a daze i must have been a "drunk" from raging hormones... i left the campus and walked along a street. only house after house. after five minutes in one direction i turned back and walked for ten minutes until i found a park.
*****
i did not know that this park would lead to my freedom.
a pair of dresses were giggling... one girl looked young maybe six years old. her older sister was watching her while standing in the park they talked about something and giglled. i entered the park and walked along a paved cement path. i followed the path around the park and it led me near the pair of dresses... as i passed not talking to strangers i heard a voice "hey you look cute" like sweet and gentle.
i looked up at the sound and saw the older sister facing me. what should i say? she did not ask any question... so what should i say? she had said something nice i should say thank you "th-th-thank you" i stammerd at the strangers. i kept walking until an idea occurd to me... what if she initiated the talk to flirt?? i turned back and said "i also could not stay indoors all day."
the younger girl not named lucy asked "do you live around here?--not realy. i study in the school a few minutes away and sleep in a dorm most of the year." the older girl not named patty argued "that means it IS your home you live their all month long." i agreed "i guess so and MOST of the year should define it.--wadya study at the school, bible? asked lucy. "nope i study other religious books almost all day.--we could tell from your hat" explained pat. my turn "what grades are you in?" pat said "i graduated last june and she is in third grade." i was surprised i thought lucy looked younger. "which books do you read for fun?" i asked. pat answered "i read mostly kids books so i can talk about them with lucy." then lucy said "we should invite him to have some hot choklit" i almost fainted in shock... how the h@$% were they trusting a total stranger man?? in our society of horrible predators?? i had not yet seen the video where pretty girls lure the men to a building where the boss locks the men in prison and sells their american passports claiming they never came to this hotel.
didnt they know? they are not supposed to talk to strangers?? i guessed lucy relied on pat garding her and pat must be a ninja in karate or kungfu if she dared to talk with a stranger. at the time i did not think they were relying on the good stereotype that holy students are not violent people... but every school has its "rotten apples".
i was delighted that i could pass my hours with new friends instead of walking n endless circles to pass the time until sleeping.
we walked to their apartment building. i asked lucy which book she was reading. lucy gushed with excitement about the story and the princess and the danger and adventure and the flying fairy.... i enjoyed hearing the detailed description.
we reached the door. "should i tell him the code?" asked lucy. pat answered "no way! you never tell the code to anybody. i will tell him the code kuz i can see he is decent." then she told me the code to press on the electric pad and despite my belief that using electricity was a sin on sabath i decided i had nothing to lose since already earning the death penalty yesterday... oops a few days before, in the sin of onan for which god killed onan.
i pressed the code on the electric pad. it unlocked the door. so i yanked it open and said "after you." lucy ran giggling inside and up the steps energetically. pat walked slowly and i asked "did you mean the hot cocoa thing?" i was incredulous.
"obviously! i even told you the code!" the lady answered almost exasperated. so i asked her what she liked about her sisters books. and she explained that she imagines that she is the magical flying fairy and is in the adventure. we walked together up the stairs. at the door was another keypad. pat said guess the code. i tapd the same sequence of numbers as the outer door but the lyt remained red. "reverse the order" so i tapd the sequence and the door clicked open. "after you" i repeated so lucy and pat enterd their home. "i assume your parents will be home soon." i said. pat explained "they are taking lucy to watch a high school soccer game." i replied "i have trouble sitting still for a sport event i once went to a baseball game..." pat interrupted "the tickets are sold out so no point debating that."
i grabd a chair in the kitchen and sat by a table. "which powder do you use for cocoa?" i asked. lucy replied "its called hot choklit not cocoa, you fat-ass!". well i was. pat ignored my question and grabbed a pot filled it with water from the sink and lit a fire on the stove. "i like your fancy suit" said pat. i replied sighing "my parents are idiots we are very poor and they spend money on expensive suits." lucy said "you were rich enuf to pay for the suit.--yeah but then none left for the food i like and the clothing i like." i was echoing my parents excuses since they already spent so much on expensive suits, which were annoying stiff and unjustifiable.
pat said "i love guys who rip on their parents. you should hear the arguments in THESE walls." lucy giggled "they argue about every little thing." by now pat had dumped generous spoons of powder into wide mugs. we waited for the water to boil.
"what do you argue about?" i asked. pat started to answer "they want me to go to college but i hate the whole system." lucy interrupted "i can tell you wanna KI--I--I--SS him". "LUCY! shut u--u--p" she said in a tone of great annoyance. then she turned to me and winked.
i had not yet seen the series about the guy who wears fancy suits which attract the women despite his personality... in the series "how i met your mother", what was his name? barny!
on the other hand she had said i was "cute" like gentle that differs from you look rich.
lucy added "they always tell her that they give her every opportunity like we will pay for college and we will pay for your wedding and complain that she [pat] does not cooperate.--exactly! i dont wanna go to college nor marry anyone that goes to church." i asked "why not?" pat explained "because i dont accept any of those ideas at church or any religion or any ism." i asked "are you atheist?--that is also an ism so no way." explained pat.
"what caused you to reject christianity?" i asked. pat said "the same reasons you reject it." the water started boiling and bubbling so pat grabbed a ladle and sloshed boiling water into the mugs and started stirring vigorously. "actually i never chose and do not know anything about religions." pat froze. lucy burst out laughing "wadya mean you dont know. you were not born YESTERDAY".
pat argued "surely you asked your parents why they dont celebrate christmas that is something easily notice-able.--true but they had no reasoning."
pat silently stird the liquid and insisted "still you do not ACCEPT ideas unless they have a good and firm foundation."
i had never heard that idea before. man i was ignorant.
"come and get it" pat sang in the common phrase so i went and got a mug and pat carefully gave lucy her mug. last pat sat.
the door buzzed open and in walked the parents. "sorry we were late. oh you found a student tutor." gushed mom, her flowing dark brown hair swinging. her black coat covered any pretty blouse. "he is just a student not my tutor" corrected pat. lucy teased "he is pat's lover!" pat shouted this time "LUCY! stop that! you know i hang out with lots of guys."
pa entered wearing his baseball cap of toronto blue jays... he adjusted his glasses and said "which creep did you bring home this time." ma protested "dear, you see he is from that jew school. it has a good reputation."
"well i know he certainly does not go to church." said pa in a tone of rejection. ma protested again "they are not dating. they are years apart in age so just relax dear." i told the truth... "we are talking over some hot choklit". lucy added a lot of milk into her mug and gulped hers quickly. ma asked "so whats your name cutie?" i replied my name is tal. pa asked "and what do you know about christianity?" i sipd my drink awkwardly and said "almost nothing.--well what DO you know?--i paused then said "i only know that rabbis tried to teach me false propaganda that i refuted. i dont know what is true." lucy protested "you are late we have to go to the soccer game."
"you better study that chapter with your tutor or else" urged pa as he straightened his basebll cap." parents and lucy left the house and thumped down the steps.
pat annonunced "lesson one sometimes ladies want seks." i echoed "sometimes teens want that but i heard ladies only want relationships with people they know."
pat announced "that is lesson one. sometimes we just want a pleasant feeling and that is why i invited you today." i gulped... and said "i am gonna need many lessons i dont know what to do." pat moaned "you never did this all year?--not yet but i want to."
pat sighed "the guys in my school were active since ninth grade you look like tenth grade.--actually twelfth grade. and i revealed "i wanted that so strongly i needed to walk off campus."
pat was relieved "good. now we need 2 phases. first for you a quickie then a break and then for me. so its a fair exchange once for you and the second time for me after a break. understood?" i answered "i agree but far from understanding i mean you dont expect me to pay?" i sounded really dumb but had to ask. "wadya mean" she shot back. "like i heard men always pay for the opportunity.--that's what i thout you meant and that is the reason the first lesson... lesson one is sometimes a lady wants and then you... you are doing her the service. so we have an exchange. got it?--yes."
next i told her what i expectd to happen and she said "we can try that." then we did the type of stuff that i cant write about. if you have any doubts about my minor consent in twelfth grade, do not forget i was desparate from the hours of friday and even the hours of that morning.
i believed i cant squeeze myself out so i wanted this opportunity at least as much as she did. she taut me about condoms and the two phases. first for me. that was a relief.
next i flushed the condom away and soon lunch.
pat asked "do you know what a fling is?--nope--it means you just enjoy each other and dont think about the future. if you are disappointed its okay at least you tasted. if you like you continue.--i enjoyed" i said in a hopeful tone. she replied "i hope you will enjoy enough to come every sunday morning after my parents leave for church at time number bleep but if not, then we are doing a fling so i will find someone else got it?--yes.
"wadya eat for lunch?--pasta and tomato sauce" i replied. she squinted at me with a strange face i could not comprehend. then she said "i am in the mood of chinese how about you?--sorry but i am too poor to pay for any dating.--so you dont wanna buy me lunch?--sorry i only get thirty dollars a month and i did not bring even for myself.--you should see your face!" she concluded and burst out laughing.
"if i did not like you i woulda agreed to pasta! if i invite you to fancier that means i like you and i wanna be with you, get it?--now i get it!" i concluded.
"so the budget is fifty dollars for you get whatever you want. i am changing clothing and we will take a cab. i hope you will wear your suit jacket but i prefer bare head."
i thout "too bad i cant thank god for this... sin.... exactly what i needed on the day that i needed. and no annoying hat blowing off in the wind. "the wind would blow off a hat" i replied honestly.
i sipd my coco and she changed into a fancy dress and a silvery gray coat. soon she appeared her dress was long and puffy pale blue with matching shoes a different shade of pale blue. only a narrow stripe of dark blue socks shown. her blond hair was finally visible now that she doffd her green ski cap. i asked where a closet is for my hat. she said to hang it from the door hook so i did. she phoned a cab and we walked out as the door clikd lock behind us. i walked bareheaded which differs from the custom of orthodox jews. but honestly i hated that the wind blew the hats.
we stood by the glass door of her building and soon a cab came. pat ran ahead to the taxi and confirmed the company that she called and the price. i followed and after she entered in the back i entered and closed the door. the cab continued straight and away from the urban area to the luxurious area.
the cab meter was active as he drove. i guessed toward east kuz we went under the north south expressway. we arrived at a fancy sprawling shopping center. one tall ground level very wide with rows of tables. the name of the restaurant in that shop center was golden dragon. in fancy red letters across a broad window. we enterd. a waittress with black hair that reached her shoulder greeted us. her eyes were very chinese. "pat!" the waitress gushed, "i did not believe that you would visit me at my job." they hugged. pat replied "i haven't seen you since graduation. meet the student tal." wu, for that was the name on her tag, wrapd her arms around me too... now... just a sec.... waitresses never do that and i had not been hugged by a real girl since... preschool 3 jeez. i was royally confused. i guessed she was just so excited to see patricia.
"can we sit in that corner?" asked pat. "i am pretty sure that is available. do you want tea with your jug of water?--yes and for him the appetizer of sum-dum-goy." urged pat.
wu the waitress squinted her already very narrow eyes and said "do you mean dim-sum?--nope i mean sum-dum-goy for the student." wu burst out laffing. "so you found a nice jewish boy good for you" as she decoded the sound that she heard.
"sorry we dont have pork chow mein, we are trying to attract the jews from pepper pike." wu apologized to me. i was royally confused. it seem that jews orderd pork chow mein. is that what she meant? pat echoed "you should see your face!" and the two girls burst into giggles.
then wu hurried to get the drinks and menus so we walked to the table that pat chose. a dark corner. we sat facing each other on deep fluffy leather cushions. in a flash wu was at the tabe with a tray. she flipd the glass cups and added tiny tea cups. down came the glass jug of water. a mist of condensation coated the glass with a carving that must be a simple japanese character.
then a shiny metal cylinder of hot tea from leaves grown in china from native tea plants, as wu specified. then wu lay the two thick narrow menus on the table by the glasses.
the "lunch combo" was 19 dollars but monday to friday. now was saturday. i thout about the budget. i jumped ahead to the main courses and saw 11$. so i looked at the appetizers to see. there were salads and dumplings and soups and "small" portions of stuff such as fish as an appetizer. i chose "crunchy minced beef balls and vegetable steamed dumplings" and told pat that i wanted two appetizers. "you are so sweet! dont worry about money just dont exagerate, get it?--yes, and what do you like to order here?--i like the sweet potato dumplings, now dont be shy add a main dish." pat specified. i saw the different chow meins and lomeins and saw no pork. so i told pat i chose zechuan beef with bamboo shoots and chestnut discs. pat said she was unsure between chicken chow mein and beef chow mein.
"tell me how do you deal with your father?--wadya mean?--like he is very direct and... i cant say argumentative but something like that.--oh he is awful" started pat. then she clarified "he wants me to live at home until i get married and he thinks i am gonna marry the christian that he picks out for me. no way!".
i thout about that first part it sounded like a complaint yet that meant she was welcome? so i asked "do they ever tell you that you must go to college or you can't live with them"?"
pat's pretty eyes jumped open wide "the opposite they forbid to live separately kuz they dont want people to suspect that i bring men home."
i was ready for an apt joke "hmm his strategy does not prevent flings." pat burst out laffing. "i hadn't thout of it that way. you have good timing!" wu was back. she changed her accent from what i had heard before "take a oldel prees". the two gals giggled.
finally wu recoverd and said "tal which appetizers do you want and dont say sumdum goy." the friends giggled again. i smiled at the strong relationship between them. the atmosphere felt really good.
i told the two appetizers that i chose. wu then asked "patlisa, any aptizel?--not today i wont have time for jogging so no dumplings for me." i tried a joke "why dont you order that sum-smart-goy?"
uh oh.
pat jerked her head, "did you just call me goy?--uh but smart?--you should see your face!" pat chuckled but wu looked worried.
pat then told wu she wanted zechuan beef with bamboo shoots and chestnut diks, oops i mean disks." the girls burst laffing again. i tried to be funny "i like her idea. also that main dish for me." wu explained it comes with two egg rolls and steamed rice. then she left.
i tried to return to understanding her situation. my bossy parents always threatened that i had to obey them kuz of religion or else they would kick me out of the house, like you cant live here unless you do it our way. then i was scared i cant find a place and pay my wn rent but she seemd to be the opposite.
i asked "so do your parents ever pressure you with a threat that you have to pay your own rent if you dont do whatever they say?--my pa is not THAT bad," explained pat, "he wants me to live with them to avoid rumors. he wants to pick the guy he wants me to marry and only if he goes to church. if i dont agree then he wont pay for a wedding but expeling me is the opposite. if i agree then i would be moving out but if i refuse then that is staying not moving out, get it?"
i thout about that. yep compared to her bossy parents mine were far worse.
"i understand that you dont accept the idea of church.--exactly. the things they teach are just unbelievable. i dont accept it and i wont go to place where they teach based on a book that nobody dares to check." that what pat said.
i added some people would say "give me a reason why you dont accept.--that is just a trick! they ask what bothers you or annoys you... as a trick then they say well if something annoys you you are bias. or say accept it unless you see a flaw or have a reason but that is not the correct method for accepting things. if i hear someone say the solar system has 32 planets i dont say "i accept it kuz why not? it does not bother me whether true or false so i accept and will repeat it to others. before i accept something i wanna know the basis why you claim 32 planets." she explained.
"so that is why you dont like isms and doctrines.--precisely. i am so relieved that you understand me. so many people just dont get it." she concluded. then she added "i really feel comfortable near you.--thanks, you are interesting to talk with.--thanks sweety." the lady told the young senior.
pat asked "i am surprised you are not thirsty--true i have not drunk since the coco--drunk she echoed giggling. i poured myself some water started to sip but my lips said no. why wasn't i thirsty? from waking up i had not drunk anything and instead exercied maybe kuz the cold outdoors resisted the cold water? but i did not feel cold i guess i should try some tea.
i poured from the shiny cylendar into the tiny "china" cups. "i like rhyming like from shiny to tiny." pat shrugd.
finally the food was ready in contrast to fast food this was cooked fresh and new. wu gave pat her beef and gave me my appetizers.
we ate silently which made me VERY happy. i hated trying to talk while i try to chew. pat was focusd on her beef and vej. i ate the crunchy puffs filled with ground beef then the vej dumplings.
a few minits passd as we ate silently. when i finished the appetizers i looked around for wu. many tables were now filled with couples mostly with gray hair. it was a mini city. most were the majority light skin men with manly short hair facing wives with longer gray hair and long dresses. and among them were the minority a mixed couple, one light man with dark skin woman and at another table two negro man perhaps romantic? the table near us had a couple dark skin maybe speaking spanish to him. another couple looked iranian to me.
wu was bringing a tray of food to a table so i waved to her. i watched her carefully put each plate by the customers and ask if they wanted anything. the lady asked for chopsticks and more napkins. wu nodded and came to me. as she walked toward me the lady stuffed her paper napkins into her purse and her husband was obviously scolding her for that. i imagined him saying we bout plenty of napkins.
wu arrived and moved my empty plates to her tray and said she would check if my order was ready. pat askd wu to bring a box for her to take home the rest. she was satisfied. i said "pack mine to go." wu said "your test worked." pat said " i am pleasantly surprised. but you can order dessert here.--i dont need." i assured her.while we waited for the boxes pat asked me if i exercise "i walk lots but i cant jog in fancy shoes.--i was worried about that. if we dont get dessert we have time for me to buy you some sport shoes.--much thanks. if there is a book store you can pick the book you like and i will buy it for you when i bring money--nah i did not finish reading the books that i wanted to read i should not get a new one until i finish those. but it was sweet to offer. you think you are the one getting.... i assure you you are giving plenty." she concluded.
my limited knowledge of paying prostitutes had misled me. wu returned with one empty box and one full box, "zechuan beef" she said and pointed tothe paper sticker. pat sloshed the remainder of her portion into the box. and gave her credit card.
"my parents give me 30 dollars each month--what do you spend it on?--usualy pretzels or books--thirty dollars seems like so little. if i do my chores my parents give me 50% inimum wage each month.--what are your parents jobs?--my ma is a beginner nurse and my father is a computer analyst. they specified that i can give gifts to any friend i like. so i am gonna buy you sport shoes on one condition..." pat paused. i waited for her to finish. "...hang out with me until my parents return at 6 pm, before you go back to your dorm.--yes." i agreed simply.
we walked with our boxes hanging from those chinese wire grips. we reached the counter and pat asked for her card. the lady "assil" returned the credit card with the receipt. "my daughter really likes you" assil said about wu. pat smiled.
we left the gold dragon and i followed her rightward. around the building was a shoe shop. pat walked decisively to the sport shoes glanced at the different styles and said "how do you like this style?" it was a famous british company probly made in china. "nice."
a clerk came "hi let me tell you about...--no i already chose this style--please just a minute i recomend a great deal..." pat started walking toward the door so i followed. the bluff worked.
the clerk said "wait which style?" then, as she pointed i slipped off my shoe so he measured my feet. the clerk made a joke "you know what they say about wide feet.--shut up don! we are not like that!" pat shot at him.
don ran to get the sport shoes. i sat with my sok bare waiting to try the new shoe. it came but looked different than the style pat chose. "this looks different--i know but listen there's a realy good discount on these." i was trapd with my shoe off but pat strode to the manager and talked quietly. over the loudspeaker "don please come to desk one now." don kept trying to convince me to get the shoe that he wanted to sell... i said "they are calling you.--just a minute, dont you see it's better?" the loudspeaker repeated "don i mean it." don cussed. from my seat i watched don unpin his name tag. he had failed his trial in sales. the boss personaly brout the correct style and size. i tried it on and walked and it was comfy. i checked the number in each shoe the same numbers. i returned it to the box. re-shoed and took my lunch. the shopping center had a row of taxis. we entered the one in front and it drove to her apartment.
the trip home had less on the meter. she paid with atwenty and asked for a five change. then we went into her home. "do we have time before the soccer game ends?--plenty. now that yu rested it is my turn."
we did some pleasant stuff the type of stuff that i cant write about. hint hint. you know what they say about wide feet... she had lied to don.
i learned that after emptying and rest, phase two lasts longer.
her contraction was first this time. and that squeeze felt really good. she stopd moving when she was satisfied. she slid up my thighs snd sat on my knees. "your idea is far better than the other guys."
next we dressed and ate the zechuan. we sat silently chewing. she finished hers first. and said "i am delighted that you dont try to make me talk while i am busy chewing." i nodded in agreement.
suddenly we heard noise in the stairwell.
could it be? the door opened and in walked pa followed by lucy and ma.
"i thought the game would be longer?" i asked. pa explained it usually is but a player got injured really bad and their team quit." lucy said "usualy they have extras in case someone gets hurt but they were down three point already and he was the best player so they lost hope."
"did you study with tal?" pa asked. pat said "not yet we thout you would arrive at 6 like usual. dont you go eat after the game?" ma ignored her "what the hek? you guys spent money on chinese delivery?--i wanted to get tal in a good mood so he would be patient." was pat lying? why did they think i was gonna study with her?
wasn't she finished high school? uh oh what if she wasnt.
pa scolded "yu should not spend money when we already prepared perfectly good chicken. that is why we came home the chicken is already baked. when you finish eating go study hebrews with tal.
what a relief! i had been worried she was still in school. hebrews was not a school subject it was a chore.
after we ate we sat on a couch and read a bible book hebrews. we alternated reading verses and then she criticised the part that she did not like. meanwhiile lucy and her parents ate chicken in the kitchen.
i changed into sport pants and sport shoes so we could exercise together. pa came and asked me "do you think she understood the text?--yes sir".
then he drove us to a club where pat and i jogd around the indoor track. well she jogd around the track i jogd for as many paces as i could then walked for rest and tried again. now i felt thirsty from eating and exercise. i had exercised in the morning too so i was tired. but as long as she jogd i was motivated to copy and kept trying. my later laps were nearer complete laps than my first laps as my endurance adjusted. my heart adjusted. finally after a year she passed me and said "half hour is complete." then she did a walk lap for cooling and i mimicd. then we sat and drank flavord ice tea and talked about life. and books and that i would come in 8 days for another "study session" after her parents left for church. we talked about things her father said his expectations that she marry a church goer but she wanted someone that would not show in action that they agree with the church idea. it seemd that if she stayed at home until she wed and she could only wed the type she did not want then... she would be at home her whole life. she explained the compromise is not "insted of every week once a year" that is still in action insted the compromise is studying the book while admitting it is flawd.
we continued meeting for several years. the relationship ended when... i was surprised that after she had been so cynical about christianity, even she decided she believed the main foundation of jesus resurrection. so she committed to stop sinning outside of marriage. so we separated. the semester had a few weeks remaining and i got into trouble... the one time i did not use a condom... soon that girl, not named lily, was visibly pregnant and her parents were furious. i look at the irony that my first child was before wedding and not even jewish. i had added to the gentile population. who woulda thout that a guy dressed like a rabbi would be the father of a gentile out of marriage? perhaps a child is a happy ending.
___
part two the onan club forms and dissolved
many years ago, in the city new york, a young boy age 7 studied in third grade in a jewish school. one fateful day the student not named steve noticed that the rabbi had skipped a section. they were starting the lesson from section number x that day, but the section before that x-1 they had not studied! the student protested "hey this is not where we ended yesterday's lesson!" the other students argued "yes it is. we reached here." the rabbi said "do not shout! only if you raise your hand and get called on. and now that i know what you will say do not raise your hand either. this is the section we will study today."
this generated a curiosity of the student. what was "deserving of skipping"??
as usual he continued his efforts, ever since his first day at the jew school, to block out the ideas he heard from the rabbis, ever since his decision in preschool never to trust a rabbi. but he had to stay on the same page so when the other kids turned a page he turned a page too.
after school he decided he was gonna see what idea the rabbi skipped. they had started the new chapter at the end of class yesterday and reached section 2 but now they had "continued" starting the lesson from section 5 so what was between?
the brat used the english translation that his parents owned and he read the section of the rabbi book and discovered it was about "the secret" body part that must be covered... then he understood the reason the rabbi skipd it to avoid talking about the covered body parts. so he read the translation of the lesson of the rabbis and BELIEVED that a male child age 9 produces liquid seed kuz that is what he saw in the book. he believed that he will also when he will be old enuf.
surprise! the morning after his ninth birthday he awoke dry. no "white" liquid as the rabbis had written. when would he reach physical maturity?
the next day of 3 grade, age 7, the child made an effort at school to ask his classmates in the boy-only jew school "are you nine yet?" each day at recess he would ask another until he realized almost everyone in his class was already 8 in 3 grade. some did not want to reveal their age. all consistently emphasized that they will not invite steve tto thir birthday party.
many years ago, in the city new york, a young boy age 7 studied in third grade in a jewish school. one fateful day the student not named steve noticed that the rabbi had skipped a section. they were starting the lesson from section number x that day, but the section before that x-1 they had not studied! the student protested "hey this is not where we ended yesterday's lesson!" the other students argued "yes it is. we reached here." the rabbi said "do not shout! only if you raise your hand and get called on. and now that i know what you will say do not raise your hand either. this is the section we will study today."
this generated a curiosity of the student. what was "deserving of skipping"??
as usual he continued his efforts, ever since his first day at the jew school, to block out the ideas he heard from the rabbis, ever since his decision in preschool never to trust a rabbi. but he had to stay on the same page so when the other kids turned a page he turned a page too.
after school he decided he was gonna see what idea the rabbi skipped. they had started the new chapter at the end of class yesterday and reached section 2 but now they had "continued" starting the lesson from section 5 so what was between?
the brat used the english translation that his parents owned and he read the section of the rabbi book and discovered it was about "the secret" body part that must be covered... then he understood the reason the rabbi skipd it to avoid talking about the covered body parts. so he read the translation of the lesson of the rabbis and BELIEVED that a male child age 9 produces liquid seed kuz that is what he saw in the book. he believed that he will also when he will be old enuf.
surprise! the morning after his ninth birthday he awoke dry. no "white" liquid as the rabbis had written. when would he reach physical maturity?
the next day of 3 grade, age 7, the child made an effort at school to ask his classmates in the boy-only jew school "are you nine yet?" each day at recess he would ask another until he realized almost everyone in his class was already 8 in 3 grade. some did not want to reveal their age. all consistently emphasized that they will not invite steve tto thir birthday party.
___
the onan club
later in 4 grade steve, who some people called stu, again asked each of his classmates if they were nine. to each kid that said he was nine stu made his "sales pitch". that stu would save them from the sin of onan in exchange for a luxury snack.
this always led to a discussion. wadya mean the sin of onan? stu explained "i read in the rabbi book mishna that age 9 boys produce white seed. since we know onan was punished for spilling that male seed, and we know tthe body cannot store it from age 9 until wedding age 18 it will certainly exit so insted of you doing what onan did i will squeeze it out from you and save you from the sin. stu did not know that this was precisely the crime of "prostitutional hand jobs" due to his limited definition of prostitution.
the brats responded with various answers "they were minors and under the age of sin anyway even if they sin" or "i do not produce white stuff yet. the rabbi book mishna is wrong." and other responses not to give a luxury snack to stu for his services.
however stu was desperte for luxury snacks. his own parents never gaave him cake nor cookies nor chocolate while stu saw the other brats enjoying these sugary treats.
sure he got the healthy snacks such as apples or carrots or bell pepper but those were "obligatory" health food what about the luxury of every other kid?
stu hunted for customers. he approached each kid to ask if they were niine as above but failed to get any customers to exchange their snack for his "holy purpose to save them from the sin of onan."
if an older kid woulda said "save me from the sin of onan in exchnge for money" that older kid woulda been in trouble ! but this was the 4 graders self-motivated business venture motivated by identifying a religious service to offer.
one fateful day at lunch stu noticed a tall kid sitting reading a book during lunch break. the tall kid not named tad was swinging his legs open and shut knees wide apart then swung together and back and forth. stu thout he found a customer for his service. first stu teased tad "looks like you are squeezing some oranges." tad replied "i am reading a book--i mean orange juice with your thighs" tad responded a groan "ugh dont talk like that.--you remeber my offer to you to save you from the sin of onan for your snack." tad responed "yuck do not even talk like that.--at least tell me which luxury snack you brought today-- i brout mini choklit bar but i was not in the mood it just sits in my locker all day.--you could use that choklit to get a service." stu urged, but tad simply repeated "yuck do not even talk like that." as stu gave up and walked to his school desk tad continued reading his book. he guessed that the tall kid was tall therefore physically mature and relying on the idea that under age 13 "no punishment for sin" so he was free to sin himself.
wrong. tad was just busy reading his book. at the next recess tad accepted the service. "take this mini chocolate first and tell me what you plan on doing." stu explained that he would lean his shoulder on the tall kid and press until "you know... the thing i cant say, and the first one is free to see if you like it." as stu offered back the mini choklit bar. tad insised keep the snak we will go to a stall. stu pressed and did the service and in "almost no time" stu had squeezed the milk from tad. tad said that was far better than he expected and that he wanted to give stu far more than a mini choklit. stu said "whenever you want just bring a snak. tad looked annoyed "that was far more than a snack i should give you pleasure somehow--the thing i am missing is luxury snacks so that suffices."
the following day another tall kid not named mel came to stu at recess. "i thought you were being silly but i heard that you save kids from the sin of onan." stu explained "not for free as holy gift but as a religious service in exchange for a luxury snack."
mel held a pack of two small choklit cupcakes. stu specified "the first one is free to see if you enjoy it then you give snacks for future services." mel insisted "this shows i want your service. i heard you did it right." so stu put the cake in his locker before the two brats hid in a stall during recess and while dressed stu leaned against the tall mel and squeezed until he felt a pulsing. "whoe-oe that was WAY better than i expected." gasped mel. "well any value beyond the snack is balanced by my desire to save you from sin of onan."
during 4 grade stu had only two customers. one i wont say whether mel or tad had an urge once each week around 6 days between juicings. the second had a different rate asking for service around the tenth twentieth and thirtieth of each month and both gave snacks to stu almost every day between services to show gratitude and that they wanted more.
the onan club lasted throughout 4 grade. in fifth grade a new student came and stu tried to add a customer. as they lined up for recess to leave the classroom in a line stu moved very near the new student not named david. "welcome to our school. which school did you go before?" dave grunted indicating he did not want to talk. as the kids stood in line and more added to the back of the line stu made his move... turning and twisting his back to bang once into dave's pants. the rabbi led the line and the kids starting moving forward out from the classroom to the sports place and as stu stepd forward he jumped back suddenly and banged again into dave;s pants. he felt that his trick worked he could feel the male tube was inflated from his first bang. as they walked silently along the corridor dave left the line for the toilet room.
stu followed as they enterd the room dave said "i am not giving you my snack. i heard about your service." stu tried marketing techniques "the first one is free to see if you like it and consider it saves you from the sin of onan" but dave als knew that until age 13 no punishment for sin. stu had eaten some cookies that day so he gave up his efforts and turned away to leave the toilet room. dave called back "stu. i have a different deal. if you let me held your tube in my hand that will be the exchange." stu accepted the offer specifying "you will stay dressed" and they enterd a toilet stall. dave stood leaning back to the wall of the stall and st leaned back so his back pressed against the taller boy's pants. as stu pressd the tube inflated and stu manuverd to mimic the hands of a clock the tube should turn upwards. dave's hand slid along stu's shirt and under stu's pants. they both pressd and in moments dave emptied his tube. out came the hand from stu's pants. "now i need to dry off" dave explained.
from that day dave recommended my service and i had several mor customers. two tall plus seven more each wanting once per week or per two weeks. and all giving snacks almost every day even without the service. overweight stu was getting fatter! the newest customer was scared to meet at school. a kid not named ned invited stu to do homework at his home. he arranged for permission for me to stay and watch a video despite school night, his parents swayed mine to agree. before we started school work ned offered his deal. he claimed that he felt weird that his body was ugly. he had heard of my service and offerd me some advice and a deal. if i would give permission for him to see me in the shower and start exercising then he would be a customer. stu specified "that sounds like a pair of men marrying. i dont go that far." ned reassured him that he knew that a pair of men was a different sin so they would not hug while in the shower just give permission to see." stu agreed and showed his body in the shower. since that was not the sin of pair of men. ned said that was exciting and he already needed to change his wet shorts just from looking. no need for pressing. ned invited stu to sleep over but stu was scared of this new relationship. it was too much like a pair of men. however stu kept his deal and walked laps around the school building at recess break in exchange for the new consent. stu now had his tenth customer 2+7+1 including dave. some days he needed two meetings with two boys depending on the varying frequency some boys had varying frequencies.
this lasted a few months until the customers stopd coming. stu went to "his customers" for marketing "i can save you fro the sin of onan again" but the kids said they simply paired up among themselves so they do not need my service. so i tried a new attempt i offered to gaurd snacks while kids played at recess in exchange they would share some with me. i would be responsible that nobody stole them. several kids agreed and i listed name and snack and held the snack for them at th efirst recess break insted of sports. when the end of recess neared each one came to eat their snack after sports and shared some with me.
the rabbi heard about this gard service and protested "you cannot do this that is immoral to tell kids to share their snack just kuz you gard it." stu corrected the rabbi "you know the idea of the "hired watchman" in the jewish religion is that immoral? "just stop" insisted the rabbi and he told all the customers to stop sharing their snack. stu challenged the rabbi "are you saying the book of exodus is evil?"--no i never said that--good so i am obeying the book of bible. the rabbi fled with no answer... but the other kids stopped hiring me to gaurd their snacks. and no longer needed my service to save them from the sin of onan due to them having paired up among themselves each saving the other from the sin of onan so the onan club scattered and i had no customers. i continued using my recess to walk around the school building even in the snow but the only one who wanted my service was the one ned that i was scared of he was too much like a pair of men and wanted undressed service while i had always given dressed. so the one that wanted was too creepy for me and the other customers both in the onan club and the gard club stopd using my services in both the gard and the onan ventures.
finaally my ninth birthday came. and i expected to awake in wet pyjama just due to my age.
nope i awoke dry. i was an exception to the many other nine year olds who i knew produced "white". nobody in my class had time for me. recess was for sports and when i joined the games they knew "not to passs the ball to me" due to my lack of experience in sports i would miss the basket anyway or strike out in baseball. i quickly learnt to only walk around the building for recess.
years passed as the other kids played sports teams of base ball or basketball but none had time for friendship during recess. during lunch break the other kids taklked about the excitig stuff they saw on tv but i did no know any of that kuz my parents did not let me watch any tv. i did not even understand the parts they said and stopd sitting with my class at lunch i just ate my lunch in a class room. i discovered two other nerds also ate lunch in the classroom but they either read books or studied as a pair doing homewor so i felt lonely and bored. my only "play mate" was the older kid who should me sources that i was not required to read the prayers and offered insted to play checkers with me.
each morning when other kids read the prayer book around ninety pages the same pages day after day, we would secretly meet and play checkers on a magnetic board. he used a chart to keep track that we started each game differently from day to day and then we played the almost infinite combinations of checkers.
the older kid not named oliver also gave me assignements to list as many two letter words i knew starting with the letter based on the date in the month. we would write a list and compare the list then he would send me to check a dictionary that all the words were in the dictionry and learn the meaning. so that wa smy only playmet the checker player. the games were always different insted of the same ninety pages day after day. he almost always won and explained "kuz you are younger." i said i dont care that i was outsmarted i just want to play with someone who does not cheat." he asked wat i mean by that so i said the kids my age do tricks in games like turning over too many markers in othelo or lying abot the details in the war games "battleship" and the one with the soldiers each with a number and the spy. olly suggested their intentions were not to win but to cheat just to cause me to stop playing at their home. they did not wnt to play with me and so cheated to cause me to choose to keep away. in contrast "i like to win by playing younger kids, since i would lose to the kids my age." i repeatedd that i dont care if i lose the game, i just need his time so i wont be lonely and bored.
the onan club
later in 4 grade steve, who some people called stu, again asked each of his classmates if they were nine. to each kid that said he was nine stu made his "sales pitch". that stu would save them from the sin of onan in exchange for a luxury snack.
this always led to a discussion. wadya mean the sin of onan? stu explained "i read in the rabbi book mishna that age 9 boys produce white seed. since we know onan was punished for spilling that male seed, and we know tthe body cannot store it from age 9 until wedding age 18 it will certainly exit so insted of you doing what onan did i will squeeze it out from you and save you from the sin. stu did not know that this was precisely the crime of "prostitutional hand jobs" due to his limited definition of prostitution.
the brats responded with various answers "they were minors and under the age of sin anyway even if they sin" or "i do not produce white stuff yet. the rabbi book mishna is wrong." and other responses not to give a luxury snack to stu for his services.
however stu was desperte for luxury snacks. his own parents never gaave him cake nor cookies nor chocolate while stu saw the other brats enjoying these sugary treats.
sure he got the healthy snacks such as apples or carrots or bell pepper but those were "obligatory" health food what about the luxury of every other kid?
stu hunted for customers. he approached each kid to ask if they were niine as above but failed to get any customers to exchange their snack for his "holy purpose to save them from the sin of onan."
if an older kid woulda said "save me from the sin of onan in exchnge for money" that older kid woulda been in trouble ! but this was the 4 graders self-motivated business venture motivated by identifying a religious service to offer.
one fateful day at lunch stu noticed a tall kid sitting reading a book during lunch break. the tall kid not named tad was swinging his legs open and shut knees wide apart then swung together and back and forth. stu thout he found a customer for his service. first stu teased tad "looks like you are squeezing some oranges." tad replied "i am reading a book--i mean orange juice with your thighs" tad responded a groan "ugh dont talk like that.--you remeber my offer to you to save you from the sin of onan for your snack." tad responed "yuck do not even talk like that.--at least tell me which luxury snack you brought today-- i brout mini choklit bar but i was not in the mood it just sits in my locker all day.--you could use that choklit to get a service." stu urged, but tad simply repeated "yuck do not even talk like that." as stu gave up and walked to his school desk tad continued reading his book. he guessed that the tall kid was tall therefore physically mature and relying on the idea that under age 13 "no punishment for sin" so he was free to sin himself.
wrong. tad was just busy reading his book. at the next recess tad accepted the service. "take this mini chocolate first and tell me what you plan on doing." stu explained that he would lean his shoulder on the tall kid and press until "you know... the thing i cant say, and the first one is free to see if you like it." as stu offered back the mini choklit bar. tad insised keep the snak we will go to a stall. stu pressed and did the service and in "almost no time" stu had squeezed the milk from tad. tad said that was far better than he expected and that he wanted to give stu far more than a mini choklit. stu said "whenever you want just bring a snak. tad looked annoyed "that was far more than a snack i should give you pleasure somehow--the thing i am missing is luxury snacks so that suffices."
the following day another tall kid not named mel came to stu at recess. "i thought you were being silly but i heard that you save kids from the sin of onan." stu explained "not for free as holy gift but as a religious service in exchange for a luxury snack."
mel held a pack of two small choklit cupcakes. stu specified "the first one is free to see if you enjoy it then you give snacks for future services." mel insisted "this shows i want your service. i heard you did it right." so stu put the cake in his locker before the two brats hid in a stall during recess and while dressed stu leaned against the tall mel and squeezed until he felt a pulsing. "whoe-oe that was WAY better than i expected." gasped mel. "well any value beyond the snack is balanced by my desire to save you from sin of onan."
during 4 grade stu had only two customers. one i wont say whether mel or tad had an urge once each week around 6 days between juicings. the second had a different rate asking for service around the tenth twentieth and thirtieth of each month and both gave snacks to stu almost every day between services to show gratitude and that they wanted more.
the onan club lasted throughout 4 grade. in fifth grade a new student came and stu tried to add a customer. as they lined up for recess to leave the classroom in a line stu moved very near the new student not named david. "welcome to our school. which school did you go before?" dave grunted indicating he did not want to talk. as the kids stood in line and more added to the back of the line stu made his move... turning and twisting his back to bang once into dave's pants. the rabbi led the line and the kids starting moving forward out from the classroom to the sports place and as stu stepd forward he jumped back suddenly and banged again into dave;s pants. he felt that his trick worked he could feel the male tube was inflated from his first bang. as they walked silently along the corridor dave left the line for the toilet room.
stu followed as they enterd the room dave said "i am not giving you my snack. i heard about your service." stu tried marketing techniques "the first one is free to see if you like it and consider it saves you from the sin of onan" but dave als knew that until age 13 no punishment for sin. stu had eaten some cookies that day so he gave up his efforts and turned away to leave the toilet room. dave called back "stu. i have a different deal. if you let me held your tube in my hand that will be the exchange." stu accepted the offer specifying "you will stay dressed" and they enterd a toilet stall. dave stood leaning back to the wall of the stall and st leaned back so his back pressed against the taller boy's pants. as stu pressd the tube inflated and stu manuverd to mimic the hands of a clock the tube should turn upwards. dave's hand slid along stu's shirt and under stu's pants. they both pressd and in moments dave emptied his tube. out came the hand from stu's pants. "now i need to dry off" dave explained.
from that day dave recommended my service and i had several mor customers. two tall plus seven more each wanting once per week or per two weeks. and all giving snacks almost every day even without the service. overweight stu was getting fatter! the newest customer was scared to meet at school. a kid not named ned invited stu to do homework at his home. he arranged for permission for me to stay and watch a video despite school night, his parents swayed mine to agree. before we started school work ned offered his deal. he claimed that he felt weird that his body was ugly. he had heard of my service and offerd me some advice and a deal. if i would give permission for him to see me in the shower and start exercising then he would be a customer. stu specified "that sounds like a pair of men marrying. i dont go that far." ned reassured him that he knew that a pair of men was a different sin so they would not hug while in the shower just give permission to see." stu agreed and showed his body in the shower. since that was not the sin of pair of men. ned said that was exciting and he already needed to change his wet shorts just from looking. no need for pressing. ned invited stu to sleep over but stu was scared of this new relationship. it was too much like a pair of men. however stu kept his deal and walked laps around the school building at recess break in exchange for the new consent. stu now had his tenth customer 2+7+1 including dave. some days he needed two meetings with two boys depending on the varying frequency some boys had varying frequencies.
this lasted a few months until the customers stopd coming. stu went to "his customers" for marketing "i can save you fro the sin of onan again" but the kids said they simply paired up among themselves so they do not need my service. so i tried a new attempt i offered to gaurd snacks while kids played at recess in exchange they would share some with me. i would be responsible that nobody stole them. several kids agreed and i listed name and snack and held the snack for them at th efirst recess break insted of sports. when the end of recess neared each one came to eat their snack after sports and shared some with me.
the rabbi heard about this gard service and protested "you cannot do this that is immoral to tell kids to share their snack just kuz you gard it." stu corrected the rabbi "you know the idea of the "hired watchman" in the jewish religion is that immoral? "just stop" insisted the rabbi and he told all the customers to stop sharing their snack. stu challenged the rabbi "are you saying the book of exodus is evil?"--no i never said that--good so i am obeying the book of bible. the rabbi fled with no answer... but the other kids stopped hiring me to gaurd their snacks. and no longer needed my service to save them from the sin of onan due to them having paired up among themselves each saving the other from the sin of onan so the onan club scattered and i had no customers. i continued using my recess to walk around the school building even in the snow but the only one who wanted my service was the one ned that i was scared of he was too much like a pair of men and wanted undressed service while i had always given dressed. so the one that wanted was too creepy for me and the other customers both in the onan club and the gard club stopd using my services in both the gard and the onan ventures.
finaally my ninth birthday came. and i expected to awake in wet pyjama just due to my age.
nope i awoke dry. i was an exception to the many other nine year olds who i knew produced "white". nobody in my class had time for me. recess was for sports and when i joined the games they knew "not to passs the ball to me" due to my lack of experience in sports i would miss the basket anyway or strike out in baseball. i quickly learnt to only walk around the building for recess.
years passed as the other kids played sports teams of base ball or basketball but none had time for friendship during recess. during lunch break the other kids taklked about the excitig stuff they saw on tv but i did no know any of that kuz my parents did not let me watch any tv. i did not even understand the parts they said and stopd sitting with my class at lunch i just ate my lunch in a class room. i discovered two other nerds also ate lunch in the classroom but they either read books or studied as a pair doing homewor so i felt lonely and bored. my only "play mate" was the older kid who should me sources that i was not required to read the prayers and offered insted to play checkers with me.
each morning when other kids read the prayer book around ninety pages the same pages day after day, we would secretly meet and play checkers on a magnetic board. he used a chart to keep track that we started each game differently from day to day and then we played the almost infinite combinations of checkers.
the older kid not named oliver also gave me assignements to list as many two letter words i knew starting with the letter based on the date in the month. we would write a list and compare the list then he would send me to check a dictionary that all the words were in the dictionry and learn the meaning. so that wa smy only playmet the checker player. the games were always different insted of the same ninety pages day after day. he almost always won and explained "kuz you are younger." i said i dont care that i was outsmarted i just want to play with someone who does not cheat." he asked wat i mean by that so i said the kids my age do tricks in games like turning over too many markers in othelo or lying abot the details in the war games "battleship" and the one with the soldiers each with a number and the spy. olly suggested their intentions were not to win but to cheat just to cause me to stop playing at their home. they did not wnt to play with me and so cheated to cause me to choose to keep away. in contrast "i like to win by playing younger kids, since i would lose to the kids my age." i repeatedd that i dont care if i lose the game, i just need his time so i wont be lonely and bored.
No comments:
Post a Comment