rowling wrote an AMAZING story, created a wonderful world with dangerous adventures. i cannot do better but i can write a summary and add a bit of fan fiction. this time chapter by chapter
one: The Dursely family had a lone young son, named dudley. mrs. dursley, a blond named petunia, pretended that she did not have a sister. on a usual morning, Mr. Dursely, named vernon, who kept a mustache, started driving to his job. that was when he could not believe his eyes. he saw a cat reading a map? impossible!
At work's break, he heard people talking about the potters, his wife's sister's family. after work he bumped into a man dressed oddly in a violet cloak. the guy spoke in unintelligible words like some nut, "dont be sorry. nothing could upset me today. you-know who is gone!" but he did not know who. He went home, and asked petunia about her sister so she was very annoyed. vernon wondered if the cloak guy had anything to do with his sister in laws "kind". j
near midnight, on an empty corner, a man suddenly appeared. he was wearing long robes under a purple cloak. he flicked open a metal cigaret lighter and clicked. each click the light of a lamp vanished. in the darkness he sat by a cat that was now a lady, wearing an emerald green cloak. she also said "you know who has disappeared, after killing the potter family. only their son lived". the man, named albus dumbledor, replied that he arranged to bring that child harry to his relatives the dursleys.
they heard a roaring engine overhead. a motor bike fell from the sky. a giant rode it and sobbed about the potter's deaths. he laid harry on the doorstep. dum' clicked the darker once, so the balls of light flew back to the street lamps. in the morning petunia found harry on the doorstep. and ten years passed as harry's eleventh birthday neared.
analysis: the conversations here were mysterious and intended as a hook to cause curiosity to continue but it can be a turn off due to so much without a story so it can be a turnoff of uninteligible talk. even the cool magic which was wonderful was distracted by vague phrases that contained a story in broken bits.
finally a boy on a doorstep from midnight to morning can only be a true documentary because an imaginary story they would put the baby in the house. despite this one event that was real most of the chapter was fiction except the stuff both in the video and the book.
F fan fiction: i could not write a better story but i can be a hindsight critic. do not introduce magic motorbikes so soon. it is great but not in the first chapter with so much stuff that is hard to understand and not even mentioning it was enchanted.
chapter one: "at midnight, the dursley parents heard a baby crying, so they went to check on their son dudley. in his room they found he and a second child were crying. in shock they read a note: "Harry is your relative. his parents died, tonight, so he is your responsibility now." ma said, "we should bring the orphan to an orphangae." pa said "he will do chores" so they raised harry for ten years. chapter two."
analysis: this would tell the dursley perspective. harry indoors with a brief mention of his parent's death without introducing magic yet nor contrasting the usual world with mysterious rejoicing and avoiding the mysterious talk, replaced by common conversation.
No comments:
Post a Comment